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(Daily Mail)   "Hi I am a nice guy just looking for a one night stand or casual sex, I am a social drinker and also a mass murderer. If interested would you please visit me in prison?"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Dumbass, insanity plea, convicts  
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9272 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2013 at 11:04 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-07 10:19:31 AM
Some folk'd pay good money for "Batman the Butt Ripper" to visit him in his cell. Isn't there a department of vengeance or something that can arrange this kind of thing?
 
2013-10-07 10:38:17 AM
i.imgur.com

Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.
 
2013-10-07 11:07:17 AM
If he set these up because he was trying to get as much tail as possible before he committed his crime in anticipation of getting sent to prison, that may throw his insanity defense right out the window.
 
2013-10-07 11:07:23 AM
I hope they punish him by casting Ben Affleck as Batm--- oh nvm.

/dumb joke is dumb
//I suck
 
2013-10-07 11:09:28 AM

Radak:
Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.


I've never seen this. So, he really wasn't crazy, then--just faking it? What a scumbag.
 
2013-10-07 11:10:43 AM
To a man it sure seems strange but there will be women responding
 
2013-10-07 11:11:36 AM
Maybe we can catch a movie.
 
2013-10-07 11:12:23 AM

brewswane: To a man it sure seems strange but there will be women responding


"He has such a sweet face, and I just know that only I can reach his inner goodness and save him!"
 
2013-10-07 11:13:10 AM

Radak: [i.imgur.com image 302x409]

Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.


Seriously. Not everyone lives on the Internet from mom's basement.

/never seen em
 
2013-10-07 11:13:45 AM
I, for one, am glad that this hard hitting journalistic piece went to great lengths in order to make sure that we understood the individuals penis size.
 
2013-10-07 11:15:03 AM
cdn.meme.li
 
2013-10-07 11:15:35 AM
That is an incredibly punchable face.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-10-07 11:16:46 AM
And he has a small penis, hahahaha!
 
2013-10-07 11:17:00 AM
They really should have blurred the three users listed in "friends" at the bottom. I think these sites aren't like Facebook; you can add anyone to your friend list without their approval. Any of those users still active are gonna catch so much shiat-- especially the one showing her face.
 
2013-10-07 11:18:02 AM

cryinoutloud: Radak:
Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.

I've never seen this. So, he really wasn't crazy, then--just faking it? What a scumbag.


How do you define "crazy"?
Of course he's crazy, he killed a bunch of people to get attention.
 
2013-10-07 11:18:38 AM
What this guy needs is a catchy Internet nickname.

Perhaps something from The Simpsons.
 
2013-10-07 11:20:04 AM
What is it with women wanting to married imprisoned psychos?

dilbert.com
 
2013-10-07 11:21:03 AM

cryinoutloud: Radak:
Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.

I've never seen this. So, he really wasn't crazy, then--just faking it? What a scumbag.


Not mutually exclusive. You can be crazy and still go to prison, if they can show you were capable of knowing right from wrong. And this profile is pretty damning in that regard.

/Sideshow Bob is still a scumbag
 
2013-10-07 11:22:03 AM

brimed03: They really should have blurred the three users listed in "friends" at the bottom. I think these sites aren't like Facebook; you can add anyone to your friend list without their approval. Any of those users still active are gonna catch so much shiat-- especially the one showing her face.


They're probably spambots, are there any real women on those sites?
 
2013-10-07 11:22:51 AM

Son of Thunder: brewswane: To a man it sure seems strange but there will be women responding

"He has such a sweet face, and I just know that only I can reach his inner goodness and save him!"


Don't laugh -- remember the Boston Marathon bomber and the female following he got?

I was going to comment about how farked up this country is, but then I remembered how Hitler's apparently a pop culture thing in Asia now.
 
2013-10-07 11:23:01 AM
I'm not talking 'bout moving in and I don't want to change your life.

But there's a warm wind blowing. the stars are out and I'd really love to see you tonight.
 
2013-10-07 11:25:29 AM
i.huffpost.com
 
2013-10-07 11:28:08 AM
Before:
i.dailymail.co.uk

After:
i.dailymail.co.uk

So he got some herpes from the other inmates I see.
 
2013-10-07 11:29:21 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

My experience is there are women who will actually respond ...
 
2013-10-07 11:30:39 AM

cryinoutloud: Radak:
Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.

I've never seen this. So, he really wasn't crazy, then--just faking it? What a scumbag.


Nah, he's pretty crazy. Diagnosed, documented paranoid schizophrenic. Doesn't mean he was too insane to know right from wrong, but there's no reason to think he's faking anything.

Like 90+ percent of insanity defenses, this will most likely fail. But it's all he's got. The only case I recall it working, other than Hinckley, was a guy who shot up a mall in Atlanta. This poor bastard believed he was being directed by a machine in his stomach. He got out of the psych ward, immediately went and bought a pistol, waited the three-day waiting period, and went straight to the mall once he got the gun. I'm not sure that case ever went to the jury; I think it was a directed verdict to send him to the loony bin.

Carrot Top here showed way too much planning and forethought to claim he was not responsible for his actions, deluded or not.
 
2013-10-07 11:34:15 AM

Boojum2k: brimed03: They really should have blurred the three users listed in "friends" at the bottom. I think these sites aren't like Facebook; you can add anyone to your friend list without their approval. Any of those users still active are gonna catch so much shiat-- especially the one showing her face.

They're probably spambots, are there any real women on those sites?


There are.  Just not the ones you'd want to chat with.

It'd be like making a site where rich people who have too many sports cars and want to give away a mint condition Corvette, can meet up with poor guys who'd like a free sports car.  If you can convince poor guys to pay you for access to the site, good for you.

Realistically though....the only free car you'll get off a website is a piece of crap.  Rich people do sell mint condition Corvettes....but they sell it to rich people with money.
 
2013-10-07 11:40:56 AM

cryinoutloud: Radak:
Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.

I've never seen this. So, he really wasn't crazy, then--just faking it? What a scumbag.


It's pretty well known that anyone on AFF has some serious delusions about getting laid by using AFF.
 
2013-10-07 11:41:55 AM
Sadly, I'm not so sure the dumbass tag applies here. I bet he gets some serious action as a result of this ad being a known murderer.
 
2013-10-07 11:56:59 AM
Radak:Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.

Upton or Middleton?
 
2013-10-07 12:05:58 PM

ElStreak: Radak:Seriously, these dating profiles were all over the news within a week of his arrest.  Daily Fail was probably too occupied with Kate's bazongas at the time.

Upton or Middleton?


Downton
 
2013-10-07 12:12:07 PM
OH.. Sideshow Bob! Yes I still call him that and always will.
 
2013-10-07 12:13:09 PM
 
2013-10-07 12:22:57 PM
What's his Fark handle?
 
2013-10-07 12:23:28 PM

farkingismybusiness: [cdn.meme.li image 552x667]


I feel kind of bad for lauging at that. I'll just take a standby ticket to hell though.
 
2013-10-07 12:24:05 PM

Boojum2k: brimed03: They really should have blurred the three users listed in "friends" at the bottom. I think these sites aren't like Facebook; you can add anyone to your friend list without their approval. Any of those users still active are gonna catch so much shiat-- especially the one showing her face.

They're probably spambots, are there any real women on those sites?


On the internet, all the men are 12 year old kids, all the women are overweight men, and all the 12 year old kids are cops.
 
2013-10-07 12:42:44 PM

brewswane: To a man it sure seems strange but there will be women responding


I promise you that there are women who have already sent him marriage proposals, panties, and photographs without ever having seen the dating profiles.

Biatches be crazy.
 
2013-10-07 12:51:32 PM
So yeah, at first I was all aboard the mental illness thing, now not so much. To "pounding in the ass" prison with you.
 
2013-10-07 12:53:57 PM
Hey I just shot up a place,
And this sounds crazy,
But here's my personal profile,
So date me maybe.
 
2013-10-07 02:30:15 PM
""Yes, I like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malleys where we'll plan our escape"

- R. Holmes
 
2013-10-07 02:33:14 PM
He also states his penis size as 'short/average'.

There is no short slash average. Your penis is small.

I shudder to think of when and how a man, any man, commits to the Internet the size of his penis, especially in so much as that penis is small.

But for the record I suppose, my penis is large, very, very large, I'm certain of it - a penis of stature and grace. Why, when the Internet looks back at your deeds, be they good or evil, and judges you based on the perceived size of your penis, let your voice be LARGE! MY PENIS IS LARGE. Yes, my penis is large, but I am small for having measured it and considered its size in relationship to a world full of penises, Chinese penises, black penises, and vaginas - vaginas that may never know my comparatively BIG PENIS. Why, they should just call me Big Penis - Big Penis Who Never Killed Anyone, never had to take out a personal ad to tell anyone of the size of his penis, and yet just walked quietly with his big penis; who spoke softly and carried an enormously long rod.

Yes, we must ultimately pity the mass murderer and his small, so very small penis.
 
2013-10-07 02:52:49 PM

Hector Remarkable: He also states his penis size as 'short/average'.

There is no short slash average. Your penis is small.

I shudder to think of when and how a man, any man, commits to the Internet the size of his penis, especially in so much as that penis is small.

But for the record I suppose, my penis is large, very, very large, I'm certain of it - a penis of stature and grace. Why, when the Internet looks back at your deeds, be they good or evil, and judges you based on the perceived size of your penis, let your voice be LARGE! MY PENIS IS LARGE. Yes, my penis is large, but I am small for having measured it and considered its size in relationship to a world full of penises, Chinese penises, black penises, and vaginas - vaginas that may never know my comparatively BIG PENIS. Why, they should just call me Big Penis - Big Penis Who Never Killed Anyone, never had to take out a personal ad to tell anyone of the size of his penis, and yet just walked quietly with his big penis; who spoke softly and carried an enormously long rod.

Yes, we must ultimately pity the mass murderer and his small, so very small penis.


Ha

First, stay classy Daily Fail.

Second, anyone that wouldn't put average/above average on a website where you're looking for sex is insane.
 
2013-10-07 03:35:44 PM

Hector Remarkable: He also states his penis size as 'short/average'.

There is no short slash average. Your penis is small.

I shudder to think of when and how a man, any man, commits to the Internet the size of his penis, especially in so much as that penis is small.

But for the record I suppose, my penis is large, very, very large, I'm certain of it - a penis of stature and grace. Why, when the Internet looks back at your deeds, be they good or evil, and judges you based on the perceived size of your penis, let your voice be LARGE! MY PENIS IS LARGE. Yes, my penis is large, but I am small for having measured it and considered its size in relationship to a world full of penises, Chinese penises, black penises, and vaginas - vaginas that may never know my comparatively BIG PENIS. Why, they should just call me Big Penis - Big Penis Who Never Killed Anyone, never had to take out a personal ad to tell anyone of the size of his penis, and yet just walked quietly with his big penis; who spoke softly and carried an enormously long rod.

Yes, we must ultimately pity the mass murderer and his small, so very small penis.


Is there anything less useful to life than a big wang? I mean, by the time they see how big it is, you're already in. If they like you enough to invite you back for seconds, it's not because you're swinging a Louisville slugger, it's because they like you.

I'm guessing mileage may vary for gay guys who use Grindr.

/Exactly average size. Never had a complaint, but have heard a few girls talk about their encounter(s) with a monster schlong. It's about 50-50 between "Wow, that was great," and "Ow, that hurt; never doing THAT again."
//Apparently, they're looking for girth without excessive length. Nobody likes a bruised cervix.
 
2013-10-07 05:11:59 PM

mbillips: Hector Remarkable: He also states his penis size as 'short/average'.

There is no short slash average. Your penis is small.

I shudder to think of when and how a man, any man, commits to the Internet the size of his penis, especially in so much as that penis is small.

But for the record I suppose, my penis is large, very, very large, I'm certain of it - a penis of stature and grace. Why, when the Internet looks back at your deeds, be they good or evil, and judges you based on the perceived size of your penis, let your voice be LARGE! MY PENIS IS LARGE. Yes, my penis is large, but I am small for having measured it and considered its size in relationship to a world full of penises, Chinese penises, black penises, and vaginas - vaginas that may never know my comparatively BIG PENIS. Why, they should just call me Big Penis - Big Penis Who Never Killed Anyone, never had to take out a personal ad to tell anyone of the size of his penis, and yet just walked quietly with his big penis; who spoke softly and carried an enormously long rod.

Yes, we must ultimately pity the mass murderer and his small, so very small penis.

Is there anything less useful to life than a big wang? I mean, by the time they see how big it is, you're already in. If they like you enough to invite you back for seconds, it's not because you're swinging a Louisville slugger, it's because they like you.

I'm guessing mileage may vary for gay guys who use Grindr.

/Exactly average size. Never had a complaint, but have heard a few girls talk about their encounter(s) with a monster schlong. It's about 50-50 between "Wow, that was great," and "Ow, that hurt; never doing THAT again."
//Apparently, they're looking for girth without excessive length. Nobody likes a bruised cervix.


Reporting for duty!
 
2013-10-07 05:44:35 PM
www.darkvomit.com

Th' broads like a dangerous man, y' hear what I'm sayin'?
 
2013-10-07 05:58:18 PM

ElStreak: Upton or Middleton?


i.imgur.com
 
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