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(Murfreesboro Post)   God takes drugs, demands rocket, jumps from balcony to prove his divinity. Actually did manage to fly for a few seconds   (murfreesboropost.com) divider line 38
    More: Weird  
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3595 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2013 at 9:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-07 08:51:22 AM  
www.millionaireplayboy.com
"What does God need with bath salts?"
 
2013-10-07 08:59:51 AM  
Bath Salts.
Not even once.
 
2013-10-07 09:08:46 AM  
That wasn't flying, that was falling with style.
 
2013-10-07 09:22:55 AM  
Secondary factor for all weird behavior: (Georgia native).

I mean when I take synthetic drugs -I may think I'm a god but I certainly don't tell anyone and most certainly don't try to fly.

In the words of Bill HIcks (also a Georgia native):

"Always that same LSD story, you've all seen it. 'Young man on acid, thought he could fly, jumped out of a building. What a tragedy.' What a dick! fark him, he's an idiot. If he thought he could fly, why didn't he take off on the ground first? Check it out. You don't see ducks lined up to catch elevators to fly south-they fly from the ground, ya moron, quit ruining it for everybody. He's a moron, he's dead-good, we lost a moron, farkin' celebrate. Wow, I just felt the world get lighter. We lost a moron! I don't mean to sound cold, or cruel, or vicious, but I am, so that's the way it comes out. Professional help is being sought. How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy. 'Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves' . . . 'Here's Tom with the weather."
 
2013-10-07 09:25:58 AM  

dittybopper: That wasn't flying, that was falling with style.


Dammit!

/Shakes tiny fist.
 
2013-10-07 09:28:41 AM  

dittybopper: That wasn't flying, that was falling.  with style.

 
2013-10-07 09:30:09 AM  
It is said that shortly after Jesus came into his power, Satan tempted him in a number of ways. One of these ways was trying to convince him to jump off a cliff for fun. Jesus didn't jump. He also didn't die (that day, at least).

Would-be religious figures, take note.
 
2013-10-07 09:30:46 AM  

dittybopper: That wasn't flying, that was falling with style.


He forgot the "missing the earth" part.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-07 09:31:50 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-07 09:33:47 AM  
golf clap for the cop not shooting his arse
 
2013-10-07 09:34:13 AM  
The trick is to miss the earth.
 
2013-10-07 09:34:36 AM  
"Bath Salts" will mess you up. Dopamine blockers and enhancers. Uppers and downers. All together in one package with different strengths, perhaps by batch, inconsistently cut.

I'm sticking to beer and pot.

/Well, and have someone you don't like try the acid first.
 
2013-10-07 09:35:34 AM  

Millennium: It is said that shortly after Jesus came into his power, Satan tempted him in a number of ways. One of these ways was trying to convince him to jump off a cliff for fun. Jesus didn't jump. He also didn't die (that day, at least).

Would-be religious figures, take note.


you've obviously not read the bible, but it's always nice to share a totally botched tale.
 
2013-10-07 09:36:49 AM  
-Drat!-
 
2013-10-07 09:38:25 AM  

The Irresponsible Captain: "Bath Salts" will mess you up. Dopamine blockers and enhancers. Uppers and downers. All together in one package with different strengths, perhaps by batch, inconsistently cut.

I'm sticking to beer and pot.

/Well, and have someone you don't like try the acid first.


I snorted coke off a stripper once and the body glitter really farked me up.
 
2013-10-07 09:38:50 AM  
I liked the writing style of the article.
 
2013-10-07 09:40:22 AM  

dittybopper: That wasn't flying, that was falling with style.


There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. Its knack lies in learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that provides the difficulties.
 
2013-10-07 09:41:23 AM  
The whole trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
 
2013-10-07 09:42:31 AM  
Our state just banned synthetics and I am happy about it. Sure people can get addicted to cocaine, heroine, etc., but generally you can use it as a party drug and not have major ill effects. Not with these synthetics. I've never yet to date heard a story of someone taking bath salts and having a fun buzz. It always ends with someone getting stabbed or driving down the street waving a gun out the window claiming to see demonds.
 
2013-10-07 09:43:49 AM  
This is why you only take good old fashioned organic drugs.  The synthetic work around crap is always worse then the real thing.
 
2013-10-07 09:48:35 AM  

hailin: Our state just banned synthetics and I am happy about it. Sure people can get addicted to cocaine, heroine, etc., but generally you can use it as a party drug and not have major ill effects. Not with these synthetics. I've never yet to date heard a story of someone taking bath salts and having a fun buzz. It always ends with someone getting stabbed or driving down the street waving a gun out the window claiming to see demonds.


Fark Demond.  That guy always sells the worst stuff.  If I was on a bad trip, I might wave a gun at him too.
 
2013-10-07 09:54:05 AM  
Ah, yes-- bath salts.  The stuff that makes PCP look like sleeping pills in comparison.

That's quite an accomplishment, actually.
 
2013-10-07 09:59:21 AM  
I can fly!

He can fly!

He can talk!
 
2013-10-07 09:59:29 AM  
filmbalaya.files.wordpress.com

"I'm A god, I'm not THE God... I don't think."
 
2013-10-07 10:01:27 AM  
He didn't fly so much as plummet.
 
2013-10-07 10:14:03 AM  
Even if you did believe you can fly, why don't you just take off from the ground?
 
2013-10-07 10:40:59 AM  

hailin: Our state just banned synthetics and I am happy about it.


You know who else would like to ban synthetics?

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Lt. Ellen Ripley, that's who.
 
2013-10-07 10:42:37 AM  
Even in my dreams I find flying very hard and I only do it from the ground or the middle of a roof if I land on one.
 
2013-10-07 11:49:47 AM  
I don't take synthetic drugs and I have thought "kill me, shotgun to the face!" But I'm resigned.

As for flying- do you know about lucid dreaming? When you learn to use your brain, you can "experience" anything. You don't have to jump off a building in gravity land. Go take some melatonin and dream, kids.
 
2013-10-07 12:16:58 PM  

Some Coke Drinking Guy: hailin: Our state just banned synthetics and I am happy about it. Sure people can get addicted to cocaine, heroine, etc., but generally you can use it as a party drug and not have major ill effects. Not with these synthetics. I've never yet to date heard a story of someone taking bath salts and having a fun buzz. It always ends with someone getting stabbed or driving down the street waving a gun out the window claiming to see demonds.

Fark Demond.  That guy always sells the worst stuff.  If I was on a bad trip, I might wave a gun at him too.

I think you mean Demone, the guy with the Cheap Trick tickets.

 
2013-10-07 12:51:49 PM  
Guy sure knows how to make a good first impression....

/its a joke...
 
2013-10-07 01:32:56 PM  

whiterrabbit: Guy sure knows how to make a good first impression....

/its a joke...


and a very good one
 
2013-10-07 02:02:17 PM  

hailin: Our state just banned synthetics and I am happy about it. Sure people can get addicted to cocaine, heroine, etc., but generally you can use it as a party drug and not have major ill effects. Not with these synthetics. I've never yet to date heard a story of someone taking bath salts and having a fun buzz. It always ends with someone getting stabbed or driving down the street waving a gun out the window claiming to see demonds.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-07 02:50:19 PM  

vudukungfu: Bath Salts.
Not even once.


I think the police would have taken these.  Am I wrong?  I thought they were illegal in every state. Something psychotropic like Salvia would be my guess as the culprit.
 
2013-10-07 03:04:41 PM  
Dude...Jesus turned water into wine, so could he make some killer bud out of like pinecones and shiat?
 
2013-10-07 03:46:09 PM  
Mr. Hammen: And how about the time we hopped in the family car and drove all the way to Woodstock?

Mrs. Hammen: Oh, that was a time. You got hold of that bad acid and didn't come down for two weeks, you kept telling everyone that you were Jesus Christ and then you jumped off a roof 'cause you thought you could fly!

Mr. Hammen: What a bummer.

Mrs. Hammen: No shiat.
 
2013-10-07 03:48:46 PM  

dittybopper: That wasn't flying, that was falling with style.


seriouslyforreal.com
 
2013-10-07 06:31:47 PM  

KrispyKritter: Millennium: It is said that shortly after Jesus came into his power, Satan tempted him in a number of ways. One of these ways was trying to convince him to jump off a cliff for fun. Jesus didn't jump. He also didn't die (that day, at least).

Would-be religious figures, take note.

you've obviously not read the bible, but it's always nice to share a totally botched tale.


It was off of the roof of the Temple in Jerusalem rather than a cliff, but other than that he had it right:

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God,"; he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: 'and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'" Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"  -- Matthew 4:5-7 (NIV)

One could argue that, since Jesus was wandering around in the Judean hills starving his ass off at the time, this episode was an hallucination caused by him looking over a cliff and being persuaded that Satan had carried him off to the top of the Temple in Jerusalem.  But that's needlessly pedantic; the essential point is still made regardless of the setting.
 
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