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(Hull Daily Mail)   Burglar caught by cucumber   (hulldailymail.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Dumbass, victim impact statements  
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5892 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2013 at 6:14 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-07 05:16:35 AM
www.organicmechanic.org
 
2013-10-07 05:33:14 AM
Yay!
 
2013-10-07 06:18:49 AM
first thought of the cucumber in question, "NOM!"

/all I got
 
2013-10-07 06:25:36 AM
After it was all said and done. the cucumber farked him in the end.
 
2013-10-07 06:27:04 AM

studman 69: After it was all said and done. the cucumber farked him in the end.


Fortunately that is not how his DNA was actually left on the cucumber.
 
2013-10-07 06:29:32 AM
Did Larry finally find the guy who stole his hairbrush?
 
2013-10-07 06:33:49 AM
Yeah, he's going to be wishing it's cucumbers he's leaving his DNA on.
 
2013-10-07 06:35:09 AM

turbocucumber: Yay!


You've been waiting a long time for something like this haven't you?
 
2013-10-07 06:37:27 AM
www.thedailygouge.com
 
2013-10-07 06:43:19 AM
You're not supposed to put the cucumber in your mouth.
 
2013-10-07 06:48:45 AM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-10-07 06:49:19 AM

studman 69: After it was all said and done. the cucumber farked him in the end.


Hopefully he was using lube.
 
2013-10-07 06:51:00 AM
FTA: In a victim impact statement, the couple said they now felt they needed to sell their home of more than 20 years because they no longer felt safe after what Donnelly had done.
They said: "It has been very distressing.
"He stole two keyrings, which were of sentimental value given to me by my mother after my father died in 1972.
"We intend to sell the house now after what has happened."


Oh for farks sake...
 
2013-10-07 07:04:47 AM
Unimpressed
www.crttbuzzbin.com
 
2013-10-07 07:05:37 AM
Was he caught because of the DNA he left? Or was the DNA just extra evidence? If it was the DNA alone, do they have DNA from every person on file?
 
2013-10-07 07:18:49 AM

MarkEC: Was he caught because of the DNA he left? Or was the DNA just extra evidence? If it was the DNA alone, do they have DNA from every person on file?


Why do you think they keep pennies in circulation?
 
2013-10-07 07:38:47 AM
Came here for Larry references.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-10-07 07:47:12 AM
Now he's made quite a pickle.
 
2013-10-07 07:50:46 AM
I'm guessing the nice people didn't spray any bug killer on their veggies.
 
2013-10-07 07:51:10 AM

offmymeds: FTA: In a victim impact statement, the couple said they now felt they needed to sell their home of more than 20 years because they no longer felt safe after what Donnelly had done.
They said: "It has been very distressing.
"He stole two keyrings, which were of sentimental value given to me by my mother after my father died in 1972.
"We intend to sell the house now after what has happened."

Oh for farks sake...


I agree, the stealing of vegitables and meat was a ghastly crime.... I swear it said that in the article
 
2013-10-07 07:52:16 AM
So we are using DNA technology to track down low level burglers?
 
2013-10-07 07:52:54 AM
Someone too bite out of a cucumber... and we got his DNA from it? Look like....(puts on glasses) someone's in a pickle.

Yeeeeaaaahhhh!
 
2013-10-07 07:54:24 AM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Kerosene Cucumbers
 
2013-10-07 08:01:16 AM

JonnyBGoode: [www.organicmechanic.org image 400x278]


Magnificent.
 
2013-10-07 08:08:27 AM
Jeebus, they test DNA for vegetable theft?
 
2013-10-07 08:11:22 AM
Aaah yes, the old, tie a string to the cucumber, shove it up the bad guys butt and turn it sideways, then tie the other end of the string to a doorknob so the bad guy can't get away trick...
Works every time.
 
WD
2013-10-07 08:11:45 AM
No pickle incident references? Good?
 
2013-10-07 08:14:14 AM

computerguyUT: Aaah yes, the old, tie a string to the cucumber, shove it up the bad guys butt and turn it sideways, then tie the other end of the string to a doorknob so the bad guy can't get away trick...
Works every time.


Just hope the officer that shows up doesn't say "Voodoo Pickle, my ass!" when you try to explain things to him.
 
2013-10-07 08:17:54 AM

beezeltown: Jeebus, they test DNA for vegetable theft?


You reed gud:

Donnelly ransacked the house, stealing treasured possessions including a retirement watch the homeowner had been given when he retired from Hull Royal Infirmary.

His wife woke to discover her car was also missing.
 
2013-10-07 08:32:03 AM

WD: No pickle incident references? Good?


I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorcycle
 
2013-10-07 08:43:00 AM
He's in a real pickle. I don't relish what's going to happen to him. At least be wasn't caught jerking his gherkin.
 
2013-10-07 08:45:50 AM
i36.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-07 08:47:42 AM
Paging LO'C to the cucumber thread.
 
2013-10-07 08:47:49 AM

8InchFloppy: So we are using DNA technology to track down low level burglers?


Didn't read the article, eh? In addition to the veggies and meat, he stole a valuable watch and the homeowner's car, among other unlisted items. That's felony level, there.
 
2013-10-07 08:50:15 AM

Greek: 8InchFloppy: So we are using DNA technology to track down low level burglers?

Didn't read the article, eh? In addition to the veggies and meat, he stole a valuable watch and the homeowner's car, among other unlisted items. That's felony level, there.


Well he shouldn't have given that watch to Butch. He's known for crossing the criminal element.
 
2013-10-07 09:56:38 AM
I read it. Just surprised that theft even at that level was enough to warrant DNA testing.  Sure this guy stole a car but he's not exactly "Baby Face" Nelson either.
 
2013-10-07 10:07:19 AM

8InchFloppy: I read it. Just surprised that theft even at that level was enough to warrant DNA testing.  Sure this guy stole a car but he's not exactly "Baby Face" Nelson either.



That's why the cops and courts are pushing to have everyone's DNA on file even if you're merely arrested or even detained. That's a stickin or a swabbin.
 
2013-10-07 10:49:52 AM
funnycomedianquotes.com

One time I was making a sandwich, and a cucumber went up my ass.  Three times.
 
2013-10-07 11:18:10 AM
what is an "airing cupboard"?
 
2013-10-07 03:21:29 PM

Fano: Now he's made quite a pickle.


Pickle surprise!
 
2013-10-07 03:40:41 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [www.thedailygouge.com image 425x240]


oxycodon: [images.wikia.com image 238x399]


Juxtaposition is teh funny...
 
2013-10-07 03:46:49 PM

LordOfThePings: beezeltown: Jeebus, they test DNA for vegetable theft?

You reed gud:

Donnelly ransacked the house, stealing treasured possessions including a retirement watch the homeowner had been given when he retired from Hull Royal Infirmary.

His wife woke to discover her car was also missing.


I reed gud win I want ta.

Really, though, DNA being tested for run-of-the-mill theft (vegetables, cars, watches) seems a little over the top.

Generally (at least in the US), cops only reluctantly show up to fill out a report for the theft of pretty much anything. Then they fill in the blanks on the form, hand a copy to the victim, and tell them to call the insurance company. Form gets filed at police station. Investigation over. The only time anyone gets caught is when they manage to screw it up themselves (bragging, ex-girlfriend turns them in, stolen car/merch just happens to be spotted when they are near, etc.), or when there is a witness.

IDK, maybe DNA testiing is a lot cheaper and more available than it used to be...
 
2013-10-08 07:11:52 AM

turbocucumber: Yay!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3sjL4HsFAM

Approves.
 
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