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(MLive.com)   Sex toy company offering free vibrators to furloughed government employees, which is probably the most exciting thing that has happened to a civilian government employee   (blog.mlive.com) divider line 37
    More: Amusing, civil servants, sex toys  
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4477 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2013 at 3:05 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-06 11:55:18 AM
Wait, I was told that we are all screwed.
 
2013-10-06 12:37:09 PM

Kyosuke: Wait, I was told that we are all screwed.


Well, if they're getting f*cked, they might as well get off.
 
2013-10-06 01:13:46 PM
I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.
 
2013-10-06 01:47:39 PM
Batteries not included
 
2013-10-06 03:06:24 PM
2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home
 
2013-10-06 03:08:26 PM
Would give them something to do besides post on Fark.
 
2013-10-06 03:10:04 PM
Figures government employees getting something of value without providing value in return.  They are truly histories greatest leeches on the financial stability of the nation.  Unionized progressive democrat leeches.
 
2013-10-06 03:11:10 PM
You've been farked by congress, now let us fark you!
 
2013-10-06 03:12:36 PM

Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home


Administrative Assistants.
 
2013-10-06 03:13:21 PM
I'd suggest sending them to members of congress, but they'd have trouble shoving them up their asses. Their heads are in the way.
 
2013-10-06 03:14:20 PM

Sex toy company offering free vibrators to furloughed government employees


So that's what all the buzz is about.
 
2013-10-06 03:15:34 PM
2wolves: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

Administrative Assistants.


I'm talking about batteries
 
2013-10-06 03:17:51 PM
'Furlough' always sounded like a vaguely sexual word to me.
 
2013-10-06 03:21:46 PM

LordOfThePings


'Furlough' always sounded like a vaguely sexual word to me.


Furl-ough face?

bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2013-10-06 03:24:35 PM
I'm classified as "Essential". Suck it, haters!

/no free sex toys for me :-(
//gets to ride long, hard gray things loaded with seamen
 
2013-10-06 03:39:12 PM

Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home


i.walmartimages.com

Say hello to my friend...we call him "Goliath."
 
2013-10-06 03:41:49 PM

Oldiron_79: 2wolves: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

Administrative Assistants.

I'm talking about batteries


110v or stay on the porch.
 
2013-10-06 03:42:24 PM

DeathCipris: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

[i.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

Say hello to my friend...we call him "Goliath."


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-06 03:49:07 PM
johnny_vegas: DeathCipris: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

[i.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

Say hello to my friend...we call him "Goliath."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x253]


in before gas powered Eurotrip laser guided quad vibrator.
 
2013-10-06 03:52:14 PM

Oldiron_79: johnny_vegas: DeathCipris: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

[i.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

Say hello to my friend...we call him "Goliath."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x253]

in before gas powered Eurotrip laser guided quad vibrator.


Oh yeah? This one comes with a gas engine and a pull starter:

image.made-in-china.com
 
2013-10-06 03:53:03 PM
So, basically, this company is telling the furloughed employees to "Go Fark Themselves"?

... Must be a Republican-owned company...
 
2013-10-06 04:04:25 PM
They're sending out this life-size fist. It's not meant to be a pleasant experience. No.

ecx.images-amazon.com

/Yes, I'm aware that there are some who will enjoy this immensely.
 
2013-10-06 04:38:26 PM
Why not go organic?

www.worldbook.com
 
2013-10-06 04:41:30 PM
Most exciting? I don't know. The other week some guy shot a bunch of people in my building. That got the adrenaline flowing.
 
2013-10-06 04:42:24 PM
What?
TSA did not collect enough?
 
2013-10-06 04:49:55 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Batteries not included


BA-3030 ENERGIZER "D"  (24ea)
6135-00-930-0030
WEIGHT: 5.5 Oz.
DIMENSIONS: 2 3/8" x 1 5/16" Dia.
CASE COLOR: Olive Drab
CASE MATERIAL:PVC Shrink Sleeve
CONNECTOR: Flat Surface
SPECIFICATION:MIL-B-18/13D
OPERATING TEMP:-20C to 50C
PHYSICAL PROTECTION:None

======================= First Aid Measures ======================= First Aid:IF LIQUID FROM LEAKER COMES IN CONTACT WITH SKIN,REMOVE IMMEDIATELY WITH WATER,FOR EYE CONTACT FLUSH WITH COPIUS AMOUNTS OF WATER FOR 15 MIN AND SEE PHYSICIAN.

====================== Handling and Storage ====================== Handling and Storage Precautions:FOR BATTERY LEAKERS,USE NEOPRENE,RUBBER,LATEX-NITRILE GLOVES.STORE AT ROOM TEMPERATURE.

==================== Disposal Considerations ==================== Waste Disposal Methods:DO NOT BURN,CAN EXPLODE WHEN SUBJECT TO EXCESSIVE HEAT
 
2013-10-06 05:11:29 PM
Meanwhile, in Australia...

pics2.ds-static.com

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-10-06 05:36:48 PM
a free onahole for every cock!
 
2013-10-06 06:24:10 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: They're sending out this life-size fist. It's not meant to be a pleasant experience. No.



/Yes, I'm aware that there are some who will enjoy this immensely.


1) such an apt username.
2) I'd like to buy that and put it in the office to commemorate the struggle!
 
2013-10-06 07:30:01 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Oldiron_79: johnny_vegas: DeathCipris: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

[i.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

Say hello to my friend...we call him "Goliath."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x253]

in before gas powered Eurotrip laser guided quad vibrator.

Oh yeah? This one comes with a gas engine and a pull starter:


(In best george takei voice) oh my
 
2013-10-06 08:01:02 PM

DeathCipris: Oldiron_79: 2wolves: I know a number of tight assed AA's that could use a deep humming.

AA's? wusses. Go D or go home

[i.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

Say hello to my friend...we call him "Goliath."


Weeeeak.

Body Wand. So powerful your hand will go numb after a minute of holding it at max power.

Two speeds are for beginners. Finely-adjustable speed is what the pros use.

/owns both the plug in and rechargeable
//the rechargeable is just as strong as the plug in, no joke
 
2013-10-06 08:11:08 PM

mark12A: I'm classified as "Essential". Suck it, haters!

/no free sex toys for me :-(
//gets to ride long, hard gray things loaded with seamen


A guy I knew in high school once asked me "what's the difference between a submarine and a penis?"

I humored him and replied "I don't know."

"They're both big, metal, and FULL OF SAILORS!"
 
2013-10-06 08:21:53 PM
ah weltallica. The we-vibe III is a magical device. I sell TONS of those. Lelo toys are amazing as well. I'm amused with his "retail value" vs. "Our price". I sell a lot of the same products for for his "our price" before I give my customers discounts. I wonder if most people realize that the "retail value" on sites like that is an arbitrary markup.
 
2013-10-06 10:08:13 PM
In keeping with the spirit of the shutdown, the sex toy company should give away these:

cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-10-06 11:08:32 PM

antisocialworker: mark12A: I'm classified as "Essential". Suck it, haters!

/no free sex toys for me :-(
//gets to ride long, hard gray things loaded with seamen

A guy I knew in high school once asked me "what's the difference between a submarine and a penis?"

I humored him and replied "I don't know."

"They're both big, metal, and FULL OF SAILORS!"


I would have said "beats me."
 
2013-10-07 07:04:58 AM
Well, it's better than getting yelled at - I'll take eight!
 
2013-10-07 10:51:21 AM
www.biography.com

Approves
 
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