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(News.com.au)   "Making tea is not like some fast fling in the back of a car. That's what coffee is for. Tea is a slow, meaningful seduction"   (news.com.au) divider line 97
    More: Interesting, teas  
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2810 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2013 at 12:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-06 08:48:02 AM  
Red Cliff
 
2013-10-06 09:09:40 AM  
The only thing worse than overly-specific hipster coffee orders are overly-specific hipster tea orders, followed by spoons to the eye.
 
2013-10-06 09:12:22 AM  
How to Murder a Cup of Tea, by the people who brought you the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer.


/seriously, if you're going to throw a hissy fit over a cup of tea, you should at least be facing the right direction
 
2013-10-06 09:13:39 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: The only thing worse than overly-specific hipster coffee orders are overly-specific hipster tea orders, followed by spoons to the eye.


How can you make a drink order overly specific?
 
2013-10-06 09:30:22 AM  
This loser doesn't even bother to tell anyone where to find good single estate black whole leaf tea.  That's the hard part.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-10-06 09:35:59 AM  
1. Fill teapot with hot tap water, to preheat and measure.

2. Pour tap water into pot, which already had a little water.

3. Burner on high, set timer to 3-4 minutes.

4. Add more or less the right amount of tea to teapot without measuring, return to computer.

5. Beep!

6. Pour boiling water into pot. Set timer for three minutes. Return to computer.

7. Beep!

8. Pour tea. Remove leaves.

9. Drink

Elapsed time, about 8 minutes from concept to first sip.

Maybe there is a machine that can spray supercritical water through tea leaves and make a cup in 8 seconds.  I would be happy to use one.
 
2013-10-06 09:36:37 AM  
Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-10-06 09:39:35 AM  
Marcus Aurelius: This loser doesn't even bother to tell anyone where to find good single estate black whole leaf tea. That's the hard part.

I am fortunate to live within walking distance of a shop that sells loose leaf tea. Is there any good source online, in case I move?
 
2013-10-06 09:40:52 AM  

Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.


I lived in the south for many years, and I hate sweet tea. It almost got me lynched once.

But I unfurled my Stars and Bars and said---"I wanna hear FREE BIRD!!!" and they let me go. Still won't drink that sweet tea.
 
2013-10-06 09:43:03 AM  

cryinoutloud: Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.

I lived in the south for many years, and I hate sweet tea. It almost got me lynched once.

But I unfurled my Stars and Bars and said---"I wanna hear FREE BIRD!!!" and they let me go. Still won't drink that sweet tea.


I was really just joking. I drink it unsweetened. We moved to South Carolina when I was a kid and "swaytay" there is brown sugar water. Oddly, most folks in New Orleans drink it unsweetened and most restaurants don't even offer sweet tea.
 
2013-10-06 09:44:09 AM  

Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.


You forgot the bourbon.  You think we sit on porches and grin contentedly to ourselves with nothing but sugary tea to go on?
 
2013-10-06 09:48:11 AM  

thamike: Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.

You forgot the bourbon.  You think we sit on porches and grin contentedly to ourselves with nothing but sugary tea to go on?


That, too, of course I sip the good stuff neat.
 
2013-10-06 10:05:29 AM  

cryinoutloud: Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.

I lived in the south for many years, and I hate sweet tea. It almost got me lynched once.

But I unfurled my Stars and Bars and said---"I wanna hear FREE BIRD!!!" and they let me go. Still won't drink that sweet tea.


...and this is why Yankees should tread careful past the Mason-Dixon line. I am trapped up here in Yankeeland, and trying to find decent iced tea is a chore. It has resulted in having to make gallons at home. At least the roomies seem happy...
 
2013-10-06 10:24:13 AM  
I'm going to need more Stevia for these hipsters.
 
2013-10-06 10:57:03 AM  
I just walk up to my replicator and say "Tea, Earl Grey, hot" and it appears. I don't drink it though because tea is gay. Unless it's a Long Island Iced Tea.
 
2013-10-06 10:58:08 AM  

Mad_Radhu: I'm going to need more Stevia for these hipsters.


images.wikia.com

Feeling a bit under the weather, Lydia?
 
2013-10-06 10:59:01 AM  

Mugato: I just walk up to my replicator and say "Tea, Earl Grey, hot" and it appears. I don't drink it though because tea is gay. Unless it's a Long Island Iced Tea.


Gasoline fight!

/wake me up, before you go-go
 
2013-10-06 12:42:36 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: The only thing worse than overly-specific hipster coffee orders are overly-specific hipster tea orders, followed by spoons to the eye.


Drinking tea properly isn't hipsterism.
 
2013-10-06 12:44:36 PM  
www.couponclippingcook.com

Meh,
 
2013-10-06 12:47:43 PM  
Nine steps? That seems a bit steep
 
2013-10-06 12:52:25 PM  

thamike: Mr. Coffee Nerves: The only thing worse than overly-specific hipster coffee orders are overly-specific hipster tea orders, followed by spoons to the eye.

How can you make a drink order overly specific?


When you specify the angle between the two hydrogens in the water molecule?
 
2013-10-06 12:53:58 PM  
Hot beverage trifecta in play!
 
2013-10-06 12:54:16 PM  

basemetal: [www.couponclippingcook.com image 500x841]

Meh,


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBCrUaBl0SY

More like Heh...
 
2013-10-06 12:56:15 PM  
Boil a pot of water, throw a tea bag in, transfer it to a pitcher, pour over ice. Add 2 cups of sugar to the pitcher for sweet.

Done and done
 
2013-10-06 12:58:19 PM  

hubiestubert: cryinoutloud: Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.

I lived in the south for many years, and I hate sweet tea. It almost got me lynched once.

But I unfurled my Stars and Bars and said---"I wanna hear FREE BIRD!!!" and they let me go. Still won't drink that sweet tea.

...and this is why Yankees should tread careful past the Mason-Dixon line. I am trapped up here in Yankeeland, and trying to find decent iced tea is a chore. It has resulted in having to make gallons at home. At least the roomies seem happy...


I always try to order sweet tea when in the north. The waitresses get that deer in the headlights look and then say, "We have raspberry tea?". I then ask if I was seated in the smoking section.
 
2013-10-06 01:00:36 PM  

cryinoutloud: Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.

I lived in the south for many years, and I hate sweet tea. It almost got me lynched once.

But I unfurled my Stars and Bars and said---"I wanna hear FREE BIRD!!!" and they let me go. Still won't drink that sweet tea.


This. That stuff is vile.
 
2013-10-06 01:01:14 PM  

Nabb1: thamike: Nabb1: Southerners in the US already know how to make perfect tea: add the sugar while it's hot and then drink it over ice.

You forgot the bourbon.  You think we sit on porches and grin contentedly to ourselves with nothing but sugary tea to go on?

That, too, of course I sip the good stuff neat.


Also this.
 
2013-10-06 01:04:58 PM  

ZAZ: 1. Fill teapot with hot tap water, to preheat and measure.

2. Pour tap water into pot, which already had a little water.

3. Burner on high, set timer to 3-4 minutes.

4. Add more or less the right amount of tea to teapot without measuring, return to computer.

5. Beep!

6. Pour boiling water into pot. Set timer for three minutes. Return to computer.

7. Beep!

8. Pour tea. Remove leaves.

9. Drink

Elapsed time, about 8 minutes from concept to first sip.

Maybe there is a machine that can spray supercritical water through tea leaves and make a cup in 8 seconds.  I would be happy to use one.


1. Don't drink hot tap water, the hot water can pick up lead and other minerals from the pipes (even if your pipes are lead-free, they still can contain a little, and leaded solder wasn't banned until '86).

2. You don't add tap water to the pot.  You boil the kettle, you pour a splash of water into the pot, swirl it round to heat the pot, and dump it, then immediately add the tea leaves and fill the pot.

3. Electric kettles are more efficient and boil quicker (also turn off so you don't forget the kettle on the burner).

4-6 are mostly correct.  The best results are achieved with loose-leaf tea that is then poured through a tea strainer - tea balls and infusers don't get the same sort of water flow to the leaves.
 
2013-10-06 01:05:40 PM  

ZAZ: Marcus Aurelius: This loser doesn't even bother to tell anyone where to find good single estate black whole leaf tea. That's the hard part.

I am fortunate to live within walking distance of a shop that sells loose leaf tea. Is there any good source online, in case I move?


Upton Tea has a website with a lot of loose leaf teas.
(that's weird, it looks like I typed Lipton, but no, it's Upton)
 
2013-10-06 01:11:13 PM  
This is my favorite tea, sold in the Middle Eastern store:

i629.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-06 01:11:57 PM  
I like how the list couldn't even get past step 1 without utterly and completely failing at basic chemistry.  Even if oxygen does "release the flavors", a supposition that's dubious at best,  boiling the water is going to oxygenate it much more thoroughly than the relatively limited agitation of running it briefly through the tap.
 
2013-10-06 01:13:12 PM  
This fulfills all my needs.

www.totallynawlins.com
 
2013-10-06 01:14:56 PM  
Talking about the perfect cup of tea on an American website is like talking about the best Sumo wrestler on an Ethiopian website.
 
2013-10-06 01:20:04 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: The only thing worse than overly-specific hipster coffee orders are overly-specific hipster tea orders, followed by spoons to the eye.


img69.imageshack.us
 
2013-10-06 01:20:27 PM  

DemonEater: ZAZ: 1. Fill teapot with hot tap water, to preheat and measure.

2. Pour tap water into pot, which already had a little water.

3. Burner on high, set timer to 3-4 minutes.

4. Add more or less the right amount of tea to teapot without measuring, return to computer.

5. Beep!

6. Pour boiling water into pot. Set timer for three minutes. Return to computer.

7. Beep!

8. Pour tea. Remove leaves.

9. Drink

Elapsed time, about 8 minutes from concept to first sip.

Maybe there is a machine that can spray supercritical water through tea leaves and make a cup in 8 seconds.  I would be happy to use one.

1. Don't drink hot tap water, the hot water can pick up lead and other minerals from the pipes (even if your pipes are lead-free, they still can contain a little, and leaded solder wasn't banned until '86).

2. You don't add tap water to the pot.  You boil the kettle, you pour a splash of water into the pot, swirl it round to heat the pot, and dump it, then immediately add the tea leaves and fill the pot.

3. Electric kettles are more efficient and boil quicker (also turn off so you don't forget the kettle on the burner).

4-6 are mostly correct.  The best results are achieved with loose-leaf tea that is then poured through a tea strainer - tea balls and infusers don't get the same sort of water flow to the leaves.


Pffft. Get a Breville Tea maker. Tell it what type of tea, how strong you'd like it, fill it with water, put the loose tea in the basket.

Water reaches proper temp, it drops the basket into the water for the correct amount of time, them lifts it out.

Perfect tea, every time.
 
2013-10-06 01:22:42 PM  
Tea?
No, thanks.
I tried that stuff from the NAAFI roach coach* in Berlin.
Once.
Was throwing up from the overload of tannin for hours.

/There's one in this picture.
//Farking British tea.
 
2013-10-06 01:29:11 PM  

red5ish: Mr. Coffee Nerves: The only thing worse than overly-specific hipster coffee orders are overly-specific hipster tea orders, followed by spoons to the eye.

[img69.imageshack.us image 382x512]


When my ten-year-old son orders a Frappuccino , he claims his name is Ben Dover.  Get it? BEND OVER?!?!? Hahahahha
 
2013-10-06 01:29:50 PM  
Fifty Shades Of Tea Leaves
 
2013-10-06 01:31:48 PM  
Based on the putrefaction evidence on display in the tea hole of the bloake in video, I would say that he is fully qualified to be a certified tea douche.
 
2013-10-06 01:34:55 PM  

r1niceboy: Talking about the perfect cup of tea on an American website is like talking about the best Sumo wrestler on an Ethiopian website.


I used to work with a gaggle of smug Brits who talked just like you, yet they jumped through incredible hoops to gain US citizenship so they could stay in this uncultured, under-educated, stupid country and brag about two passports.
 
2013-10-06 01:35:44 PM  

bim1154: This fulfills all my needs.

[www.totallynawlins.com image 200x200]


Yeah, that stuff is decent.  Good caffeine levels and isn't too bitter even if over brewed.
 
2013-10-06 01:36:46 PM  
I HATE sweet tea and cold tea.  Iced Tea is my ultimate no-no.  I also grew up in Texas.  People wonder why I hate sweet tea.  I like unsweetened, unmilky, unhoneyed hot black tea.

I like the bitterness of it. Jasmine Green tea is as exotic as I'll get and that's hardly sweet either, but yummier than green tea by itself.

I'm not a big fan of sweet things.

I also like bitter coffee so it's probably just my palate.
 
2013-10-06 01:38:09 PM  
Freaks...
 
2013-10-06 01:40:26 PM  
Boil water. Pour over tea. Let sit for a reasonable amount of time, remove tea (bag, infuser, whatever). Drink.

It's not rocket science, despite a lot of people's attempts to make it so. A lot of cultures have very specific traditions for the one and only way to make a proper cup of tea. None of them match up. It's almost as if the key is just to combine hot water and tea leaves, and the variations of that process don't really make much any difference.

And Jesus Christ people, tap water is ridiculously safe in this country. The bottled water and filter companies have really worked you into a lather, haven't they?

\Davison, Newman & Co Boston Harbor Tea right now.
\\Not the same stuff they tossed overboard, but it's a quality blend from the same company.
 
2013-10-06 01:40:35 PM  
teachingphysics.files.wordpress.com

Faster than your dad and mom in the back seat
 
2013-10-06 01:40:38 PM  
Tea is a slow, meaningful seduction.

That's why it's for women.

You find our sexual fantasies offensive, and we find yours boring. -- Bill Maher
 
2013-10-06 01:41:59 PM  

cptjeff: And Jesus Christ people, tap water is ridiculously safe in this country. The bottled water and filter companies have really worked you into a lather, haven't they?


It's about flavor for me.  Los Angeles tap water tastes metallic(as well as being extremely hard).
 
2013-10-06 01:42:49 PM  

Hebalo: Pffft. Get a Breville Tea maker. Tell it what type of tea, how strong you'd like it, fill it with water, put the loose tea in the basket.

Water reaches proper temp, it drops the basket into the water for the correct amount of time, them lifts it out.

Perfect tea, every time.


Or I could pay $30 for a kettle, $15 for a teapot, and $200 on hookers and blow.

/ok, so that won't get me much blow or very good hookers
//but it's the principle of the thing
 
2013-10-06 01:44:34 PM  

bhcompy: cptjeff: And Jesus Christ people, tap water is ridiculously safe in this country. The bottled water and filter companies have really worked you into a lather, haven't they?

It's about flavor for me.  Los Angeles tap water tastes metallic(as well as being extremely hard).


That's fair. I've always lived in places with pretty good tasting tap water, so that hasn't ever been a concern for me.
 
2013-10-06 01:44:50 PM  
Tea is a slow, meaningful seduction

Guess my sex!

i.huffpost.com
 
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