If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Marketwatch)   Thanksgiving and the first day of Hanukkah will fall on the same date in 2013: Nov. 28. Are you ready for Thanksgivukkah?   (marketwatch.com) divider line 75
    More: Unlikely, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, Thanksgivukkah, American Jews  
•       •       •

1156 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2013 at 11:11 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-06 09:15:09 AM
It's a Festivus miracle!
 
2013-10-06 10:11:22 AM
Why is this MarketWatch news?

/just asking questions here
 
2013-10-06 11:01:06 AM

jaylectricity: Why is this MarketWatch news?

/just asking questions here


You shouldn't be no jive turkey so close Turkmenistanahanukkah.
 
2013-10-06 11:08:36 AM
Note to self: Serve ham this Thanksgiving so the Kravitz neighbors don't stop by.
 
2013-10-06 11:17:55 AM
It's all part of the Hanu-Kwanzaa marketing window.
 
2013-10-06 11:18:13 AM
I'd like to see Adam Sandler try to make a song out of that.
 
2013-10-06 11:19:11 AM
I remember being jealous of the Jewish kids because they were getting presents a couple of weeks before I did, but this seems really early.

How is the start date decided anyway?
 
2013-10-06 11:19:34 AM
One word.  Turduckenmenora.
 
2013-10-06 11:20:08 AM
Future South Park episode.
 
2013-10-06 11:20:22 AM
Is fox news going to have a big story now on how the  jewish liberals in NYC are trying to take away christian holidays?
 
2013-10-06 11:21:12 AM

Tymast: Is fox news going to have a big story now on how the  jewish liberals in NYC are trying to take away christian holidays?


Happy holidays!!!
 
2013-10-06 11:22:06 AM
Except the only the DUMBASSES at buzzfeed would write an article on a Thanksgivunkahh inner that features several NON-KOSHER items.
 
2013-10-06 11:23:04 AM
Who could forget...Marijuanica!

img.fark.net
 
2013-10-06 11:23:38 AM

thamike: It's a Festivus miracle!


Dang it! I wanted to say this ^! Thats it...I'm not thinking anymore before I come to post, lest someone read my mind again. Phhhht :p
 
2013-10-06 11:24:22 AM
Well, in my family the leftover turkey lasts for eight nights anyway. Does it have to be cooked in oil this year?
 
2013-10-06 11:25:22 AM

lingua: Well, in my family the leftover turkey lasts for eight nights anyway. Does it have to be cooked in oil this year?


mmmm....fried turkey
 
2013-10-06 11:25:23 AM
First day or first night? *to the google-mobile* Chanukah starts the night of Wednesday the 27th. So it's half being early this year and half thanksgiving seeming late this year :P.


danfrank: I remember being jealous of the Jewish kids because they were getting presents a couple of weeks before I did, but this seems really early.

How is the start date decided anyway?



Jewish calendar. It's a lunar calendar so shifts compared to our solar calendar every year but not starts on the 25th day of the month Kislev every year
 
2013-10-06 11:26:49 AM

danfrank: I remember being jealous of the Jewish kids because they were getting presents a couple of weeks before I did, but this seems really early.

How is the start date decided anyway?


Lunar calendar. Thus the changing every year.
 
2013-10-06 11:27:10 AM
Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah
Come light the menorah
Let's have a turkey
And pass the potato
Gather round the table
We'll cut you some meat
Spinning tops to play with
And pass the string beans
And while we are eating
The candles are burning low
One for each night
So take a big bite
To remind us of days long ago
One for each night
So take a big bite
To remind us of days long ago
 
2013-10-06 11:27:24 AM
There are not enough bottles of Manischewitz in the world to tolerate my family at Thanksgiving.
 
GBB
2013-10-06 11:27:50 AM
This is why we should just stick to "Holiday" like the Pastafarians suggest.
 
2013-10-06 11:31:30 AM
Boobies.
 
2013-10-06 11:31:45 AM

SithLord: I'd like to see Adam Sandler try to make a song out of that.


Those songs are the only funny things Sandler ever did.
 
2013-10-06 11:34:36 AM
I put a beenie on my turkey.
 
Rat
2013-10-06 11:35:37 AM
i235.photobucket.com

© really?  no one else?
 
2013-10-06 11:39:00 AM
Does this mean that if your turkey catches fire while being deep-fried that it will burn for eight days and eight nights?
 
2013-10-06 11:42:39 AM
This is a big deal why?
 
2013-10-06 11:52:32 AM

abhorrent1: This is a big deal why?


Hanukkah's supposed to be the Jewish Christmas.  They're disrespecting Christians by moving it farther away.
 
2013-10-06 11:52:36 AM
Grumpy Cat, FangQ for verse above -- tho tigerose mighta done it better.
 
2013-10-06 11:53:43 AM

Mugato: SithLord: I'd like to see Adam Sandler try to make a song out of that.

Those songs are the only funny things Sandler ever did.


Borderline funny. One of the most over-rated in Hollywood.
 
2013-10-06 11:56:21 AM

SwiftFox: abhorrent1: This is a big deal why?

Hanukkah's supposed to be the Jewish Christmas.  They're disrespecting Christians by moving it farther away.


Actually, they're keeping up with the Christians since Christmas starts earlier and earlier.

Besides, didn't anyone get the memo that these holidays have been canceled so that the masses can spend and consume for the shopmas season?
 
2013-10-06 12:00:29 PM
I bet the Jews did this...
 
2013-10-06 12:00:32 PM
Release the Turkey Golem.
 
2013-10-06 12:02:36 PM
New York Jew here. 8-year old kid has parents do Kickstarter campaign which nets almost 50 grand so they can sell a menurky. Oy vey, that's a shonda. Translation: oh dear, that's shameful.

Let the commercialization of a festival that ignores the genocide of the Native American peoples NOT be mashed up with anything Jewish, we have more than enough anti-semitism in Amerika.

A bie gesunt to you and yours.
 
2013-10-06 12:06:24 PM
What about Slapsgiving?
 
2013-10-06 12:07:30 PM

almandot: Jewish calendar. It's a lunar calendar so shifts compared to our solar calendar every year but not starts on the 25th day of the month Kislev every year


So, how early can Hanukkah get on the Gregorian calendar?
 
2013-10-06 12:07:48 PM

Aar1012: Christmas starts earlier and earlier.


Sears (I had to use their crapper) has all their Christmas trees decked out already. Goddammit, Halloween is my favorite time of the year, give me one week before rolling out Santa's fat ass.
 
2013-10-06 12:08:02 PM
Maybe there will be some Kosher Turkey for sale.
 
2013-10-06 12:19:01 PM
...and you all laughed at the Wolowitz Tur-brisk-gefil.
 
Rat
2013-10-06 12:20:15 PM

megarian: ...and you all laughed at the Wolowitz Tur-brisk-gefil.


© its not as good as it sounds
 
2013-10-06 12:20:43 PM
I'm waiting for Kwnazamachunukkahmas...
 
2013-10-06 12:24:12 PM
Ooh, now I get to sit around and read/listen to Rabbis harp at each other about whether turkey is kosher to begin with, whether integrating an almost-exclusively WASP holiday celebrating ethnic oppression and cleansing is okay, and whether factory farming is ethical.

Almost makes me wish I was Jewish (seriously, Rabbis are awesome).
 
2013-10-06 12:24:28 PM
Potato latkes on Thanksgiving? SIGN ME UP!
 
2013-10-06 12:27:15 PM

Rat: megarian: ...and you all laughed at the Wolowitz Tur-brisk-gefil.

© its not as good as it sounds


Can you imagine family drinking too much and someone pukes up that?

Worst Thanksgivanukkah ever.
 
2013-10-06 12:28:59 PM

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Potato latkes on Thanksgiving? SIGN ME UP!


Holy fark, yes please.
 
2013-10-06 12:29:19 PM

kdawg7736: Maybe there will be some Kosher Turkey for sale.


Maybe Unless you're Ethopian -- for them it is a wild animal -- trayf.
 
2013-10-06 12:33:52 PM

DominaNY: New York Jew here. 8-year old kid has parents do Kickstarter campaign which nets almost 50 grand so they can sell a menurky. Oy vey, that's a shonda. Translation: oh dear, that's shameful.

Let the commercialization of a festival that ignores the genocide of the Native American peoples NOT be mashed up with anything Jewish, we have more than enough anti-semitism in Amerika.

A bie gesunt to you and yours.


Translated into English, here's what she's on about. I think it's kinda cool.

Also, Thanksgiving has nothing to do with genocide/oppression, unless you consider the mere presence of European immigrants in North America to equate to that, in which case, whatevs. Thanksgiving commemorates an instance of Europeans and Natives peacefully coexisting.
 
2013-10-06 12:39:05 PM

flondrix: almandot: Jewish calendar. It's a lunar calendar so shifts compared to our solar calendar every year but not starts on the 25th day of the month Kislev every year

So, how early can Hanukkah get on the Gregorian calendar?


This is about as early as it can get. Last week of December is about as late as it can get.
 
2013-10-06 12:40:34 PM

megarian: ...and you all laughed at the Wolowitz Tur-brisk-gefil.


Yes... yes I did.  Thank you.
 
2013-10-06 12:43:18 PM
"Thanksgiving has nothing to do with genocide/oppression, unless you consider the mere presence of European immigrants in North America to equate to that, in which case, whatevs"

Hmm, anti-semitic AND insensitive to reality for millions of Native American's history and rude to women, all wrapped up in big ball of insecurity and lack of ability for critical thinking.

Nasty boy, now go flap to your hatred and pathetic sense of superiority.

Thanksgiving has EVERYTHING to do with genocide/oppression. DUH.
 
2013-10-06 12:46:59 PM
It's my kid's fifth birthday this year, too. It's going to be a hell of a party.
 
2013-10-06 12:54:30 PM
You kind of have to admire a celebration that traditionally includes ritualized pyromania, a bevy of fried foods, and the teaching of children how to gamble.
 
2013-10-06 12:54:40 PM

DominaNY: "Thanksgiving has nothing to do with genocide/oppression, unless you consider the mere presence of European immigrants in North America to equate to that, in which case, whatevs"

Hmm, anti-semitic AND insensitive to reality for millions of Native American's history and rude to women, all wrapped up in big ball of insecurity and lack of ability for critical thinking.

Nasty boy, now go flap to your hatred and pathetic sense of superiority.

Thanksgiving has EVERYTHING to do with genocide/oppression. DUH.


Well, no, I was just being rude to YOU, without respect to your sex. And not out of anti-semitism (I adore the Yiddishkeit). The "translated into English" wasn't because of the Yiddish, it was because you can't write very well, and you misspelled menurkey, which complicated my search to find out what you were on about. Don't screw with my googling, and I won't point out your literary shortcomings.

Also, you're gonna need to come up with a better argument tying Thanksgiving to genocide than "DUH." My argument is a) the Plymouth Colony settlers didn't displace any Native folk in that first year ashore, and they hosted the local Wampanoags at their harvest festival feast (the first actual "Thanksgiving" wasn't celebrated until 1623). b) Thanksiving is a secularized religious holiday that generically substitutes for a harvest feast. Unlike, say, Columbus Day, it doesn't specifically celebrate the European presence in North America; that's just associated with it because of the misremembered history of the "First Thanksgiving." Which was, as I said, a mitzvah.

So, you have any counter to that argument, beyond "duh?"
 
2013-10-06 12:59:10 PM

flondrix: almandot: Jewish calendar. It's a lunar calendar so shifts compared to our solar calendar every year but not starts on the 25th day of the month Kislev every year

So, how early can Hanukkah get on the Gregorian calendar?



This looks like one of the earliest. Only went back a few decades on an online converter but earliest I could find was nov 28th in 1994 and a nov 30th some other year. I do remember being fairly pissed when it was as late as Christmas though and having to wait that long for presents. ;) #jewproblems #alsohitler
 
2013-10-06 12:59:50 PM
More like thanks give a farkah? Amidoinitrite?
 
2013-10-06 01:10:51 PM

flondrix: almandot: Jewish calendar. It's a lunar calendar so shifts compared to our solar calendar every year but not starts on the 25th day of the month Kislev every year

So, how early can Hanukkah get on the Gregorian calendar?


As someone said upthread, this is about the earliest it can go.  The Jewish lunar calendar has a leap month so that the months and seasons don't get too far out of sync. The Muslim lunar calendar, however, does not, which is why Ramadan wanders throughout the whole year.

/this is why our peoples kill each other
//not really
///Christians have a really farked-up half-lunar calender, or rather, several of them.
 
2013-10-06 01:12:51 PM
"As G_d as my witness I thought bratwurst were kosher"
 
2013-10-06 01:17:01 PM

Moonfisher: It's my kid's fifth birthday this year, too. It's going to be a hell of a party.


Happy Birth-givings-kah to you
Happy Birth-givings-kah to you
You can eat cake and turkey
and loukoumades too!
 
2013-10-06 01:17:53 PM
So much for sausage stuffing.
 
2013-10-06 01:23:04 PM
Really? No one wanted to go with Hansgiving? I love Hansgiving!

img594.imageshack.us


/I know.
 
2013-10-06 01:25:41 PM

Valiente: So much for sausage stuffing.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-06 01:59:19 PM
Behold, the Menurkey:

menurkey.com
 
2013-10-06 02:01:11 PM
We're coming up on the 100th anniversary of the Thanksgiving Proclamation issued by Abraham Lincoln in the familiar late November setting. (so, it was a bit about genocide, just not far enough).

And you can ask those WWII veterans waiting outside the memorials about how FDR shifted around Thanksgiving a little earlier in the month to jumpstart the Christmas shopping season.
 
2013-10-06 02:03:43 PM
I'm glad my family isn't Jewish. Thanksgiving is going to be hectic as it is this year - I'm due to give birth to my first child right around Thanksgiving and a family member has taken it upon herself to invite everyone she knows plus the neighbors plus some random homeless people (not really, but very likely at this point) over for Thanksgiving dinner so that people can see the baby.

Did anyone ask my significant other or me if we wanted to have THAT many people around when I'm either in the hospital, about to enter the hospital or just leaving the hospital?

Maybe if I fake a psychotic break, the hospital will keep me longer ...
 
2013-10-06 03:37:51 PM

almandot: First day or first night? *to the google-mobile* Chanukah starts the night of Wednesday the 27th. So it's half being early this year and half thanksgiving seeming late this year :P.


danfrank: I remember being jealous of the Jewish kids because they were getting presents a couple of weeks before I did, but this seems really early.

How is the start date decided anyway?


Jewish calendar. It's a lunar calendar so shifts compared to our solar calendar every year but not starts on the 25th day of the month Kislev every year


But what really screws it up is the leap month every so often.  Yeah, no leap day every 4 years, a whole month, every 7 years IIRC.
 
2013-10-06 03:39:39 PM

SithLord: I'd like to see Adam Sandler try to make a song out of that.


He could make a song out of a bowel obstruction and laugh to himself while 'preforming' it befor a live audience.
 
2013-10-06 04:47:26 PM
Let us be thankful for Hannukah (correctly pronounced whichever way you didn't pronounce it). Yes, Hannukah, eight days that keep on giving!

Woo! Eight days of presents and stuffing ourselves until we plop down in front of a football game with eight magical minutes in which the players are not standing around scratching their over-padded fat asses.

Here's a helpful hint: why not move Christmas forward so we can do them all at once (except for Canadian Thanksgiving, of course).

Think how much easier the holiday traveling would be in November, especially if all the Liberals celebrate Christmas in November and the Conservatives stick to December.

It would be highly profiable for everybody except the sellers of holiday cards and decorations.

Just throwing it out there, like heaving a weasel among the chickens.

No, I'm not technically trolling. This could work.
 
2013-10-06 04:50:07 PM

flaminio: Behold, the Menurkey:

[menurkey.com image 680x520]

You are so beau-ti-ful to meeeeeeeeee!


I bought a Joe Cocker album at the library yesterday. I was thinking of Joe Walsh at the time, but hey, they're both good!
 
2013-10-06 09:28:19 PM
brantgoose:

Just throwing it out there, like heaving a weasel among the chickens.

i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-06 10:20:43 PM
I call it GuiltGiving.
 
2013-10-07 05:21:37 AM

FloydA: brantgoose:

Just throwing it out there, like heaving a weasel among the chickens.


img.fark.net

You guys are talking about buttf*cking, right?
 
2013-10-07 09:38:36 AM
As a Jew in the US, I LOVE your combo-holiday name, Subby! Thanks! :)
 
2013-10-07 11:20:37 AM

danfrank: I remember being jealous of the Jewish kids because they were getting presents a couple of weeks before I did, but this seems really early.

How is the start date decided anyway?


I just find it amusing that a user named danfrank really should now this already....

/maybe written in your diary?
 
2013-10-07 03:32:43 PM

Moonfisher: It's my kid's fifth birthday this year, too. It's going to be a hell of a party.


My kids 7th.  Happy birthday to them.

/Wonder if he'll noticed the turkey shaped birthday cake with a menorah on it?
 
2013-10-07 03:41:25 PM

aevorea: I'm glad my family isn't Jewish. Thanksgiving is going to be hectic as it is this year - I'm due to give birth to my first child right around Thanksgiving and a family member has taken it upon herself to invite everyone she knows plus the neighbors plus some random homeless people (not really, but very likely at this point) over for Thanksgiving dinner so that people can see the baby.

Did anyone ask my significant other or me if we wanted to have THAT many people around when I'm either in the hospital, about to enter the hospital or just leaving the hospital?

Maybe if I fake a psychotic break, the hospital will keep me longer ...


Take it in stride.  One of the most amusing Thanksgivings we had was when Mrs. Xtalman was pregnant with our son.  He was due on Thanksgiving that year and we spent it with other familyless coworkers that year.  Loved the looks on their faces when they asked when she was due and she said today.  Little guy was born 5 days later.
 
Displayed 75 of 75 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report