If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Eugene Register-Guard)   Cute 25-year-old bartender gets her best tip yet: a Keno ticket worth $17,500. "The reaction (in the bar) was crazy. Everyone was so amped up. I mean how often does that happen somewhere like Thurston?" (w/pics)   (registerguard.com) divider line 63
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

19233 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2013 at 11:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-05 10:12:55 PM  
catmacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-05 10:53:49 PM  
Well...now that you've told everyone, enjoy paying full taxes on that bad boy.
 
2013-10-05 11:07:36 PM  
Habitual daytime drinkers like their bartender to be happy. Happy bartender, happy life.
 
2013-10-05 11:11:52 PM  
Can't really tell from the picture, but she actually does look kind of cute.  Don't the rules mandate that she be referred to in the headline as "dag-nasty skank-assed crack whore", or something along those lines?

Bad subby.  BAD!
 
2013-10-05 11:12:29 PM  
You know that thing where Podunk web sites don't specify where they are because nobody but a local would ever have a reason to visit.

And some Fark commenter will complain about it? "WHAR TFA happened WHAR!!!"

This one is clearly in Springfield.
 
2013-10-05 11:13:13 PM  

whistleridge: Well...now that you've told everyone, enjoy paying full taxes on that bad boy.


Settle down. It's a state lottery ticket. The government already knows she won.
 
2013-10-05 11:16:11 PM  
registerguard.com

Jeez, dude, loosen your grip. You're not getting your hands on that juicy prize.

/ Or the $17K, either.
 
2013-10-05 11:16:40 PM  

ten foiled hats: Can't really tell from the picture, but she actually does look kind of cute.  Don't the rules mandate that she be referred to in the headline as "dag-nasty skank-assed crack whore", or something along those lines?

Bad subby.  BAD!


But the rules also say we must change it to say "dag nasty-skank assed-crack whore"
 
2013-10-05 11:16:42 PM  

jaytkay: You know that thing where Podunk web sites don't specify where they are because nobody but a local would ever have a reason to visit.

And some Fark commenter will complain about it? "WHAR TFA happened WHAR!!!"

This one is clearly in Springfield.


mimg.ugo.com
 
2013-10-05 11:19:28 PM  
Some dudes think a bartender will fark them for a big enough tip.

And those dudes are 100% right.
 
2013-10-05 11:20:56 PM  
not often, lovey.
si0.twimg.com
 
2013-10-05 11:20:59 PM  
Who farted, y'all?
 
2013-10-05 11:21:15 PM  
She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)
 
2013-10-05 11:22:19 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Some dudes think a bartender will fark them for a big enough tip.

And those dudes are 100% right.


Unfortunately, this is their bartender:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-05 11:23:36 PM  
Phrawgh wins!!!

/leaving satisfied
 
2013-10-05 11:25:08 PM  

OscarTamerz: She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)


Or anything with Rosie Perez in it. I can listen to her for about 30 seconds before I reach for an icepick to stab out my own eardrums.
 
2013-10-05 11:26:28 PM  

jaytkay: You know that thing where Podunk web sites don't specify where they are because nobody but a local would ever have a reason to visit.

And some Fark commenter will complain about it? "WHAR TFA happened WHAR!!!"

This one is clearly in Springfield.



Try mouseovering the link.

/hey, it's a perfectly cromulent word
 
2013-10-05 11:28:11 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Some dudes think a bartender will fark them for a big enough tip.

And those dudes are 100% right.


Yup, drunken whores, every one
 
2013-10-05 11:30:15 PM  
Keno makes the lottery look like a good bet.
 
2013-10-05 11:32:40 PM  
Subby broke the unofficial fark attractiveness descriptor rule.  The more pleasant the adjective, the uglier the woman.  This one was way too attractive for cute, which should be for a boil infested 350lb woman.  Instead you should have mentioned sharp knees or meh.
 
2013-10-05 11:40:51 PM  
She was in Thurston? Wait 'til Lovey hears about this!
 
2013-10-05 11:42:07 PM  

studebaker hoch: Keno makes the lottery look like a good bet.


Yeah, I think the house edge in Keno is about 27%.  It is actually a license to steal.
 
2013-10-05 11:42:26 PM  
Tweekertown, Oregon. That'll buy a 4x4 full o' meth.
 
2013-10-05 11:45:04 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: OscarTamerz: She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)

Or anything with Rosie Perez in it. I can listen to her for about 30 seconds before I reach for an icepick to stab out my own eardrums.


one more reason to welcome sweet deafness:
images.tvrage.com
 
2013-10-05 11:48:03 PM  
"What the heck is ...

www.foodrepublic.com

...Keno?"
 
2013-10-05 11:48:24 PM  

DanZero: [catmacros.files.wordpress.com image 500x400]


I like my women like I like my holiday meals. Full of promise, appreciated by those that care, and the fact that Aunt Alice brought that mostly dry stuffing is comfort food as she is always there in all manner of ways all year long. There is always the decadent and sweet dessert to look forward to if I'm having a bad day. But mostly? The comforting smiles, hugs, and sweet concerning questions are what I most look forward to.

I bet that my analogy of that guy's feelings in the photo and the very pretty and sweet smiling hostess is rather accurate. He appreciated her inner worth, gave her a gift that karma turned into a bonanza.

Onto the outer shell. Much of the most art worthy women are what gets the cover of Playboy. And many of those that would fit on Playboy's cover I would never be interested in. Obviously their outer shell is art worthy. But without an art worthy middle, it is still just an aging shell. With the right smile, the right heart, and the right mind, the shell is not a priority.

I know... not the place and time for an oh' snap moment. But the story, with the pic reminded me of the nice things in life, and the karma that sometimes comes with it (if we are lucky)

/I'm stepping off my podium now....
 
2013-10-05 11:49:45 PM  
klipd.com
 
2013-10-05 11:51:46 PM  

KrispyKritter: Danger Avoid Death: OscarTamerz: She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)

Or anything with Rosie Perez in it. I can listen to her for about 30 seconds before I reach for an icepick to stab out my own eardrums.

one more reason to welcome sweet deafness:
[images.tvrage.com image 302x320]


Imagine Fran Drescher and Rosie Perez opening a phone sex line together. The perfect storm of comedy and horror.
 
2013-10-05 11:52:55 PM  
She can get her roots touched up. Maybe another tanning session to fill her card and get that free 30 minutes.
 
2013-10-05 11:53:37 PM  
Am I the only one that didn't know what a Keno ticket was and had to use the Googles to make sense of the story and headline?
 
2013-10-05 11:56:52 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: KrispyKritter: Danger Avoid Death: OscarTamerz: She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)

Or anything with Rosie Perez in it. I can listen to her for about 30 seconds before I reach for an icepick to stab out my own eardrums.

one more reason to welcome sweet deafness:
[images.tvrage.com image 302x320]

Imagine Fran Drescher and Rosie Perez opening a phone sex line together. The perfect storm of comedy and horror.


Oh, baby, tell me screwing is for carpenters...
 
2013-10-05 11:57:46 PM  

MrHappyRotter: Am I the only one that didn't know what a Keno ticket was and had to use the Googles to make sense of the story and headline?


I thought it was like Skeeball.
 
2013-10-05 11:58:07 PM  
I'd give her a tip.

Just the tip.
 
2013-10-05 11:58:09 PM  

MrHappyRotter: Am I the only one that didn't know what a Keno ticket was and had to use the Googles to make sense of the story and headline?


I shot man in Keno. Just to watch him die.
 
2013-10-05 11:59:54 PM  

jaytkay: [registerguard.com image 850x739]

Jeez, dude, loosen your grip. You're not getting your hands on that juicy prize.

/ Or the $17K, either.


Actually I normally don't read your posts as they are often puerile.

And I was right in this case also.

However, unlike most of the time, this time you were funny :)

/I must give credit even where I *feel* it isn't due.
 
2013-10-06 12:01:54 AM  

belhade: I'd give her a tip.

Just the tip.


And some day? You "almost" be a tad funny.
 
2013-10-06 12:03:27 AM  

CasperImproved: belhade: I'd give her a tip.

Just the tip.

And some day? You "almost" be a tad funny.


I'm sorry, in the future I will try harder to reach your lofty standards.
 
2013-10-06 12:06:51 AM  
All I have ever gotten in the way of special tips as a bartender was sex.
 
2013-10-06 12:07:45 AM  

belhade: CasperImproved: belhade: I'd give her a tip.

Just the tip.

And some day? You "almost" be a tad funny.

I'm sorry, in the future I will try harder to reach your lofty standards.


You have standards you wish to live by?

My gosh! I may have underestimated you ;)
 
2013-10-06 12:08:48 AM  

Mock26: All I have ever gotten in the way of special tips as a bartender was sex.


Special tips for "special" people.....
 
2013-10-06 12:12:52 AM  

CasperImproved: Mock26: All I have ever gotten in the way of special tips as a bartender was sex.

Special tips for "special" people.....


Sorry... some nights I am a little lippy when I should listen more :)

/Just had a good day, and three rum & coke doubles

// Hope you didn't take my words personally. Unless you are a bigot, racist, or criminal  with felonies, You would always have the potential to be a friend ;)
 
2013-10-06 12:24:49 AM  
Did they hook up afterwards?
project-blu.com
 
2013-10-06 12:33:38 AM  
Will her new couch be big enough for two?
 
2013-10-06 12:58:31 AM  

belhade: I'd give her a tip.

Just the tip.


i149.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-06 01:05:33 AM  

whistleridge: Well...now that you've told everyone, enjoy paying full taxes on that bad boy.


 When you win more than a certain payout (about $1500, I think) from a slot machine, keno game, or similar casino game (not table games like craps or blackjack, but games where the house makes a lump-sum payoff), the casino is required to take your name and SSN and report it to the IRS, and give you a 1099 on the spot. She has to pay taxes on it no matter what.
 
2013-10-06 02:23:38 AM  
Funny. This website is blocked by order of the Turkish government.
 
2013-10-06 02:26:57 AM  
$17,000 minus taxes minus whatever she gave to the guy, big deal.
 
2013-10-06 02:28:27 AM  

Begoggle: $17,000 minus taxes minus whatever she gave to the guy, big deal.


I see Mr. Pink still won't tip his waitress.
 
2013-10-06 02:49:11 AM  

ten foiled hats: Can't really tell from the picture, but she actually does look kind of cute.  Don't the rules mandate that she be referred to in the headline as "dag-nasty skank-assed crack whore", or something along those lines?

Bad subby.  BAD!


I can't even tell if she's happy or angry in the picture (one assumes she is attempting to look happy...wtf is with her face?).  Pretty much the only thing you CAN tell is that she's blonde and a bit on the hefty side (maybe more than a bit).

I give her a 50% chance of not being ugly enough to be called "cute" in a Fark headline, but only a 5-10% chance of actually being cute.
 
2013-10-06 03:03:33 AM  

Emposter: ten foiled hats: Can't really tell from the picture, but she actually does look kind of cute.  Don't the rules mandate that she be referred to in the headline as "dag-nasty skank-assed crack whore", or something along those lines?

Bad subby.  BAD!

I can't even tell if she's happy or angry in the picture (one assumes she is attempting to look happy...wtf is with her face?).  Pretty much the only thing you CAN tell is that she's blonde and a bit on the hefty side (maybe more than a bit).

I give her a 50% chance of not being ugly enough to be called "cute" in a Fark headline, but only a 5-10% chance of actually being cute.


I almost fell for the headline until I noticed the "w/pics" part at the end. I'm glad to see that my change of course to the right confirmed my suspicions.
 
2013-10-06 03:36:03 AM  
fta: "...for almost four years, often receives unplayed Keno tickets as tips from a bar regular."

I certainly hope he has been tipping with cash as well, cuz that would kind of suck if he has not been.
 
2013-10-06 03:50:36 AM  
www.thelmagazine.com
Should have just given her a mix tape....
 
GBB
2013-10-06 05:58:52 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: OscarTamerz: She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)

Or anything with Rosie Perez in it. I can listen to her for about 30 seconds before I reach for an icepick to stab out my own eardrums.


I've got an officer on my radio that sounds identically to 1980s Rosie Perez.
Tech Support can't understand why I go through so many keyboards and radio headsets.

us.123rf.com
 
2013-10-06 08:26:22 AM  

drewogatory: Habitual daytime drinkers like their bartender to be happy. Happy bartender, happy life.


Yup.
 
2013-10-06 09:02:05 AM  

CasperImproved: DanZero: [catmacros.files.wordpress.com image 500x400]

I like my women like I like my holiday meals. Full of promise, appreciated by those that care, and the fact that Aunt Alice brought that mostly dry stuffing is comfort food as she is always there in all manner of ways all year long. There is always the decadent and sweet dessert to look forward to if I'm having a bad day. But mostly? The comforting smiles, hugs, and sweet concerning questions are what I most look forward to.

I bet that my analogy of that guy's feelings in the photo and the very pretty and sweet smiling hostess is rather accurate. He appreciated her inner worth, gave her a gift that karma turned into a bonanza.

Onto the outer shell. Much of the most art worthy women are what gets the cover of Playboy. And many of those that would fit on Playboy's cover I would never be interested in. Obviously their outer shell is art worthy. But without an art worthy middle, it is still just an aging shell. With the right smile, the right heart, and the right mind, the shell is not a priority.

I know... not the place and time for an oh' snap moment. But the story, with the pic reminded me of the nice things in life, and the karma that sometimes comes with it (if we are lucky)

/I'm stepping off my podium now....


I like the cut of your jib.
 
2013-10-06 09:16:50 AM  

rev. dave: Subby broke the unofficial fark attractiveness descriptor rule.  The more pleasant the adjective, the uglier the woman.  This one was way too attractive for cute, which should be for a boil infested 350lb woman.  Instead you should have mentioned sharp knees or meh.


Yea! What the fark? She's not cute by fark standards at all. I'd say she's about as attractive as buoyant whale shiat.
 
2013-10-06 09:58:55 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: KrispyKritter: Danger Avoid Death: OscarTamerz: She checked the amount and gave it back and the tipper had her sign it and then she split the winnings with him anyway. It's like a Capra movie. (No, I'm not going to compare it to a Nicholas Cage movie.)

Or anything with Rosie Perez in it. I can listen to her for about 30 seconds before I reach for an icepick to stab out my own eardrums.

one more reason to welcome sweet deafness:
[images.tvrage.com image 302x320]

Imagine Fran Drescher and Rosie Perez opening a phone sex line together. The perfect storm of comedy and horror.


I would take that three-way in a heartbeat and get sponsorship from earplug manufactures.
 
2013-10-06 10:04:43 AM  
a4-images.myspacecdn.com

seems cute to me but I know, waaaayy below the standards of the fark virgins
 
2013-10-06 11:17:44 AM  
In a lot of bars/restaurants, tips are pooled and shared amongst the employees (so the kitchen staff get a cut).  I don't see any mention of that there.


Danger Avoid Death: Imagine Fran Drescher, Sofia Vergara and Rosie Perez opening a phone sex line together. The perfect storm of comedy and horror.



FTFY - that woman's voice is an instant boner killer.
 
2013-10-06 01:00:54 PM  

Begoggle: $17,000 minus taxes minus whatever she gave to the guy, big deal.

for a waitress a some truck stop dive bar, a few grand is a fortune farktard.


/not everyone lives your lifestyle j.p. got rocks.
 
2013-10-06 03:00:18 PM  
No shiat, man...I just spent a summer without central air and on the first cool day we got, I find out my roof is shot. Hell, $1000 would change my life right now.

/I sound poor
 
2013-10-06 03:03:02 PM  
That was in response to the above poster, but I'm too poor for quotes. ;p
 
2013-10-06 05:37:52 PM  
I went to school with her. Good to know some people go really far in life.

/she was everything you think she is
//thank farking christ I don't live in Springfield anymore
///css and whatever
 
Displayed 63 of 63 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report