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(Time)   The good news: Man receives a free lifetime supply of bacon. The bad news: It comes all at once   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 48
    More: Scary, Ron Swanson, bacon  
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11009 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2013 at 5:50 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-05 04:22:55 PM
"Lifetime supply", subby?  Not hardly.

/I sound fat
 
2013-10-05 05:53:19 PM
Bacon. Is there anything it can't do?
 
2013-10-05 05:54:48 PM
I have that here. Go out, hunt feral hogs, fill freezer with premium bacon.
 
2013-10-05 05:54:59 PM

timujin: "Lifetime supply", subby?  Not hardly.

/I sound fat


Exactly. 1000 pounds is nothing to scoff at, but I'm a FARKER
 
2013-10-05 05:55:02 PM
If you ate 1/2 pound every day, it'd take you ~7.25 years to eat it all. And then you'd probably die of some coronary disease, in which case it would have been a lifetime supply.
 
2013-10-05 05:55:44 PM
Step 1: Receive lifetime supply of Bacon
Step 2: Hold world's largest Bacon-themed BBQ
Step 3: Profit!


/'s what I'd do.
 
2013-10-05 05:58:26 PM
www.thereformedbroker.com
 
2013-10-05 05:59:48 PM
Porcine products painfully pummel poor proletariat....
 
2013-10-05 06:02:06 PM
This is Ron Swanson. Ohhh, look at me. I can't consume 600kg of bacon in a sitting. Time to harden the fark up Ron Swanson.
 
2013-10-05 06:05:24 PM
Hardly death by bacon.


/oh, and...
 i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-05 06:05:46 PM
done in one
 
2013-10-05 06:05:51 PM
Daddy's home.
 
2013-10-05 06:05:58 PM
A Swedish guy who just happened to be named Ron Swanson got crushed by half a ton of bacon? That's the newsworthy part.
 
2013-10-05 06:06:12 PM

Apos: Porcine products painfully pummel poor proletariat prostate....


/FTFY
 
2013-10-05 06:07:38 PM
1322 pounds = a half ton?  When did over 300 pounds become a rounding error?

On the other hand...

The man sustained minor back injuries. His cholesterol levels are unknown.

Totally makes up for it.
 
2013-10-05 06:09:31 PM
Bacon coming at once?  A lifetime supply?  Sounds messy.
 
2013-10-05 06:15:37 PM
mehallo.com
Does it come in colors? Like a raaaaaaainbow?
 
2013-10-05 06:17:33 PM
Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
 
2013-10-05 06:18:04 PM

Emposter: 1322 pounds = a half ton?  When did over 300 pounds become a rounding error?


I'll guess she meant what many refer to as the "long ton" (2240 lbs, or 1016 kg). Which, to those same, is simply "ton" while the other "ton" is the "short ton".

/in which case her margin of error is only ~200 lbs which, if you are using kg, is only a difference of 92kg
 
2013-10-05 06:19:02 PM

skinink: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.


Stupid comment (not yours, the movie's) and crap movie (also not yours).
 
2013-10-05 06:20:13 PM

skinink: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.


You walk the Earth, don't you?
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-05 06:21:07 PM
Pork Pork Pork.
 
2013-10-05 06:32:18 PM
That website broke my phone
 
2013-10-05 06:33:37 PM

whatshisname: That website broke my phone


That website is coming from inside the house!
 
2013-10-05 06:43:19 PM
FTFA: The man sustained minor back injuries. His cholesterol levels are unknown.

lulz
 
2013-10-05 07:11:06 PM
The headline would be funnier if the guy would have died.
 
2013-10-05 07:16:01 PM

Not_The_Target_Market: [mehallo.com image 380x378]
Does it come in colors? Like a raaaaaaainbow?


Gaycon?
 
2013-10-05 07:19:35 PM

skinink: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.


Pigs have personality though .
 
2013-10-05 07:23:35 PM
 
2013-10-05 07:25:05 PM
Great. Now I'm desperately hungry for bacon.
 
2013-10-05 07:32:08 PM
I was expecting a mishap with moving some pork belly futures.

But this?  This...is bad.
 
2013-10-05 07:36:19 PM

Feel_the_velvet: I was expecting a mishap with moving some pork belly futures.

But this?  This...is bad.


guyism.com
 
2013-10-05 07:39:54 PM
ah, this is what a lifetime supply looks like

http://artco.co.nz/bacon.html
 
2013-10-05 07:49:23 PM
Death by bacon. That would be most Farkers' dream of death.
 
2013-10-05 07:49:55 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-05 08:31:47 PM

invictus2: Did he fry, Oh my god did he fry.He fried all the pork it's a taste infusion.


And i said baaaaaaay aaaaay aaaay aaacon
 
2013-10-05 08:44:44 PM
www.paleodietinabox.com
 
2013-10-05 08:45:35 PM
static.rcgroups.net
 
2013-10-05 08:58:41 PM
Hahahahahaha. I get it - bacon. It is tasty, salty, unhealthy meat. And just mentioning it is hilarious. Hahahaha. Chuck Norris, too.
 
2013-10-05 09:40:54 PM
Bacon and egg cupcakes... Bacon really can do everything!

images.sodahead.com
 
2013-10-05 09:53:52 PM

diaphoresis: Bacon and egg cupcakes... Bacon really can do everything!


This fascinates me. Do you happen to have directions on how to do this?
 
2013-10-05 09:59:27 PM

diaphoresis: Bacon and egg cupcakes... Bacon really can do everything!

[images.sodahead.com image 350x262]



I must make these. I must make these now.


/off to grocery store
 
2013-10-05 10:18:34 PM

ArcadianRefugee: skinink: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.

Stupid comment (not yours, the movie's) and crap movie (also not yours).


2/10 and I am being generous
 
2013-10-05 10:22:35 PM

dopekitty74: diaphoresis: Bacon and egg cupcakes... Bacon really can do everything!

This fascinates me. Do you happen to have directions on how to do this?


http://thestir.cafemom.com/food_party/126067/bacon_eggs_breakfast_cu ps

Quick GIS lookup yields that.

Personally, I like crispy bacon, anytime it's cooked alongside eggs there's always a bit of chewy, so I won't be trying it.

/scrambled eggs with sharp cheddar added late so there's gobs of it(too early and it blends in with the eggs only mildly changing the flavor), then add crumbled bacon at the very end(if not served in whole strips)
 
2013-10-05 10:36:07 PM

Emposter: 1322 pounds = a half ton?  When did over 300 pounds become a rounding error?

On the other hand...

The man sustained minor back injuries. His cholesterol levels are unknown.

Totally makes up for it.


Yeah, that last line is... well, perfect.

Also, I'm glad he's not dead. Who would want that on their obit?
 
2013-10-05 10:49:49 PM
Someone call Epic Meal Time.
 
2013-10-05 11:26:31 PM
No bacon Mosque models?
 
2013-10-06 12:23:15 AM
What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have."
 
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