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(NBC News)   Not news: 14 year-old bags two on hunting trip. News: two hunters. Fark: Then shoots self in leg   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 84
    More: Dumbass, Oregon  
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7857 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2013 at 5:21 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-04 04:29:11 PM
"4 men and a boy. But the boy fought back"

Start printing the posters. I smell Box Office gold.

He shoots two, then shoots himself. So he comes BACK to the cabin asking for help?!?!? Can't wait for the details on this one.
 
2013-10-04 05:00:42 PM
The 2 dead are 43 and 64, Dad & Gramps were cramping this kids style...
 
2013-10-04 05:05:26 PM
What's the problem? Is there a bag limit on hunters?
 
2013-10-04 05:23:59 PM

mediablitz: He shoots two, then shoots himself. So he comes BACK to the cabin asking for help?!?!? Can't wait for the details on this one.


I'm going to put early money on "the older men were getting molest-y."  Kid kills them in defense of his bunghole.  The fact that the guy left alive in the cabin had enough duct tape to tape a boy to a chair is very suspicious....
 
2013-10-04 05:25:48 PM
definitely sounds a bit ... rape-y
 
2013-10-04 05:25:53 PM
I always will remember,
'twas a year ago november,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a mornin' bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day.
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,
And I say, "there's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred guernsey cow.
 
2013-10-04 05:26:52 PM

HMS_Blinkin: mediablitz: He shoots two, then shoots himself. So he comes BACK to the cabin asking for help?!?!? Can't wait for the details on this one.

I'm going to put early money on "the older men were getting molest-y."  Kid kills them in defense of his bunghole.  The fact that the guy left alive in the cabin had enough duct tape to tape a boy to a chair is very suspicious....


I don't know....seems to me a single roll of duct tape would be plenty...heck, you could probably tape someone up to the wall with a single roll of duct tape.
 
2013-10-04 05:27:19 PM

czetie: What's the problem? Is there a bag limit on hunters?


Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
 
2013-10-04 05:27:29 PM
 
2013-10-04 05:27:29 PM
Ya see, you have to get guns in kid's hands nice and early, that way they'll always respect them.
 
2013-10-04 05:28:00 PM
The boy will have freezer full of meat for the winter.
 
2013-10-04 05:28:27 PM
Video games, probably that one with Gary Coleman.
 
2013-10-04 05:28:32 PM
You shoot it, you eat it. Them's the rules kid.
 
2013-10-04 05:28:54 PM
Ok let's get it over with.

"It's GTA V's fault, video games are evil and cause people to go homicidal!"

"If video games can do this, what about other forms of media that show more horrible stuff?"

"....well... video games.. uhm.. .yeah Satan makes video games! Ban all video games!"

There.
 
2013-10-04 05:30:11 PM
That gun went completely nuts. Lucky more people weren't injured.
 
2013-10-04 05:30:49 PM
Something seems a bit off with this story.  More details, please.
 
2013-10-04 05:31:33 PM
still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?
 
2013-10-04 05:32:10 PM

Molavian: Something seems a bit off with this story.  More details, please.


My take: Brokeback Mountain II
 
2013-10-04 05:32:51 PM

uncleacid: The boy will have freezer full of meat for the winter.


Reading between the lines, I'm more inclined to believe he'll have them stuffed and mounted.
 
2013-10-04 05:32:59 PM
The boy returned to the cabin and pleaded for help from another man in the hunting party, Palmer said, but instead the man held the teen at gunpoint, forced him to get on the floor and then used duct tape to bind him to a chair.

That does not seem like an entirely unreasonable reaction given the circumstances...

/ I would like to offer sixty-seventhsies on "moar details plox"
 
2013-10-04 05:33:02 PM

HMS_Blinkin: mediablitz: He shoots two, then shoots himself. So he comes BACK to the cabin asking for help?!?!? Can't wait for the details on this one.

The fact that the guy left alive in the cabin had enough duct tape to tape a boy to a chair is very suspicious....


If you are in a remote cabin and don't have at least a couple rolls of duct tape handy, you deserve to get shot.
 
2013-10-04 05:33:14 PM

RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?


 Was he smoking hot?
 
2013-10-04 05:33:36 PM
Well, you shoot ONE dirty old man, why stop there?

/self-inflicted wound a lame suicide attempt?
//Speculation would be irresponsible, so LET'S DOOOO ITTTTT!!!!!!
 
2013-10-04 05:35:28 PM

RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?


Wat? Link? The googles produce nothing.
 
2013-10-04 05:36:45 PM

mbillips: RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?

Wat? Link? The googles produce nothing.


WAPO
He's been airlifted.
 
2013-10-04 05:37:28 PM
Well......this sounds weird.

Craigslist hookup gone wrong? 4 men were pedophiles?
 
2013-10-04 05:40:14 PM

skozlaw: mbillips: RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?

Wat? Link? The googles produce nothing.

WAPO
He's been airlifted.


Says joggers tried to beat out the flames with their tops, which if it was running specific clothing was likely 'plastic' cloth, resulting in a burning man being covered in napalm-like burning plastic as well as the gasoline he'd already used.
 
2013-10-04 05:40:18 PM
In before Elmer Season?
 
2013-10-04 05:40:30 PM

RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?


You were expecting an article about a 14 year old killing 2 guys to contain information about a guy setting himself on fire?

Are these 2 things related in some way?
 
2013-10-04 05:42:46 PM
rnatalie:

[shakes tiny fists]
 
2013-10-04 05:43:29 PM
Something abut a bunch of guys alone together in the woods.cabin .. seems kinda gay.
 
2013-10-04 05:44:05 PM

rnatalie: Was he smoking hot?


Well Done
 
2013-10-04 05:50:38 PM
Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else, under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat perhaps, a large flesh-colored squirrel. at any rate, it seems to me that this marks an encouraging new trend in the field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song which I present here:

I always will remember,
'twas a year ago november,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a mornin' bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day.
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.
People ask me how I do it,
And I say, "there's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred guernsey cow.
 
2013-10-04 05:51:50 PM

skozlaw: mbillips: RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?

Wat? Link? The googles produce nothing.

WAPO
He's been airlifted.


Is it Spring already?
 
2013-10-04 05:56:47 PM

Shadune: You shoot it, you eat  clean it. Them's the rules kid.


FTFY
 
2013-10-04 06:00:56 PM

skozlaw: mbillips: RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?

Wat? Link? The googles produce nothing.

WAPO
He's been airlifted.


wy didn't he use clean natural gas it's much better for the enviroment.fark when are these people gona learn
 
2013-10-04 06:01:34 PM
At least there are survivors to testify and the kid is older.  This case has bothered me ever since it happened. Were the two victims molesting the kid or was he just a bored little toddler...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/02/19/arizona-boy-pleads-guilty-to -m urdering-dad/
 
2013-10-04 06:03:50 PM
14-year-old bags?
 
2013-10-04 06:05:59 PM
Man, this story is so full of pure Murican derp, the mind reels.  It's got everything: Cabin in the woods.  Implied boy bugger.  Homicidal mayhem.  Duct tape.  Murica! Fark yeah!
 
2013-10-04 06:07:13 PM
How exactly do you shoot 2 guys dead on accident? I can see one, and if it WAS an accident you would probably drop the gun and try to help. But 2? Then running away? Seems like murder to me. And if it was, he's a an asshole, not only for killing those 2 guys, but then crying like a biatch and begging for help ony when HE was ignorant enough to shoot himself. Should have done the world a favor and shot himself in the head.

/What asshole gave this kid a weapon anyway?
 
2013-10-04 06:09:02 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: How exactly do you shoot 2 guys dead on accident? I can see one, and if it WAS an accident you would probably drop the gun and try to help. But 2? Then running away? Seems like murder to me. And if it was, he's a an asshole, not only for killing those 2 guys, but then crying like a biatch and begging for help ony when HE was ignorant enough to shoot himself. Should have done the world a favor and shot himself in the head.

/What asshole gave this kid a weapon anyway?




/of course..if they were trying to get all rapey on him....i dont blame him at all, i would have gunned them too.
 
2013-10-04 06:12:07 PM
Gun safety is a tricky thing with kids. If you tell them they can't have their gun anymore because they weren't practicing safe muzzle control, they'll just shoot you. Hard choice.
 
2013-10-04 06:13:55 PM

RidersOfLohan: still nothing about the guy who set himself on fire in DC?


He's from Calgary.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-04 06:14:27 PM
Somehow doubt this story has anything to do with actual "hunting".... 

/needs more details for anything more really.
 
2013-10-04 06:16:10 PM
Simple.

Gramps was a Jets fan. Dad was a Bears fan. Kid is a Raiders fan.
 
2013-10-04 06:17:47 PM

haywatchthis: wy didn't he use clean natural gas it's much better for the enviroment.fark when are these people gona learn


Maybe he hates the environment even more than he hates cans?

/ fark all yall, I will force a "The Jerk" reference if I want to!
 
2013-10-04 06:19:20 PM
Let me tell you that you no, it's not so much the heat, as it is the gosh darn humidity. You no when u sit there in the bed, and your just sweaty you no? And you just, you go to reach for the water on the nightstand, and you slide right out of bed and the wife says, "Stop making so much noise! Your waking me up, go to sleep!" Well let me tell you, (yeah?) times like that, make me think bout movin up north, you no? (good idea) Ya I'd do it to. Course then I couldn't watch the Packers. You no the Packers are... Cause I like the Packers. I'd do nething for the Packers. Who can forget Vince Lombardi, you no? Back in the glory years? Not me, boy. Yeah nehow. Gettin to be that time of year, eh?(yeah, oh yeah)

Ya, I'm a deer hunter. How do you do? I got the deer huntin rep n tale for you. I'm so excited, it's my favorite time of year. I love to freeze my buns, chasin trophy deer. But don't clap your hands, to the stompin of the feet, because Yahey's like me, he can't keep a steady beat. no, m mm,

I got the great big knife, cause the hunting is my life. It's my chance to drink beer and get away from the wife. It's the boys night out, acting stupidly, say now, "baby, baby, don't you think maybe, how 'bout u n me, ya?" haha (get away!)(ow ow ow!)

Well we partied all night, never made it to our bunks. And I was sittin in the tree stand, on the tree day, drunk. Wind was blowin 45, temp 30 below. I was freezin to death, then it started to snow. So I got out from the tree stand, start headin for the truck, and thats when I seen it there, the turdy point buck.

TURDY POINT BUCK?! turdy point buck. turdy point buck. (turdy point buck)

Well, he was 8 foot tall, weighed 12,000 pounds, with every step there was a shake, sh-shakin of the ground. He was so ruthaful, so beautiful. Strutted right out of my dreams, he was created by God, just for outdoor magazines.

Now, I'm not much for thinkin, no, I dont do it often, but I had an idea. (yeah, what was that?) To put that turdy pointer, right in his coffin, ya. (turdy piont buck)

Couldn't get to my gernades, (yeah rite) the was in the shop, my stomach was tied into a monkey knot. Ya, my only hope was Betty Lou, she was the one, a combination AK 57 oozie radar laser triple-barrel double-scoped hit-seekin shotgun. (turdy point buck)

Ya, the women clappin in the back there, I gotta make that. Well he was comin toward me, gettin bigger n bigger, but my fingers were so frozen, I couldn't pull the trigger. I kicked off my boots, fired with my big toe, I was Dirty Harry, John Wayne, n G.I. Joe.

Ya, that turdy point buck, was only 10 feet away, ya, still I coudln't seem to hit him, and he wouldnt run away. And after 20 minutes, when the smoke cleared, there were hunters on the ground, and the worlds biggest dear. There, standin tall n proud, he looked at me and yawned, and then a flash of white, n there he was...gone. (oh its alrite clyde, dont worry about it)

Then 7 men got up, n the one fell down. A big lump of blaze orange, shakin on the ground. At first I thought he was one of the boys, but it was that no brother good in law of mine, from Illinois. (only cheeseheads, send him back on the next plane)

Did ya see the turdy pointer? Did ya see the turdy pointer? Did ya see the turdy pionter? Did ya see the turdy pointer?

As we jumped into the truck, and I'm gonna get that turdy point buck. Ya, I'm gonna get that turdy point buck. I'm gonna get that turdy point buck. (turdy point buck) (Hey, there he goes! There he goes!) I'm gonna get that turdy point buck. (Come on guys! Lets go get him!) Ya, I'm gonna get that turdy piont buck. (Hey grab your gun man! I got my beer, and I got that hit-seeker) If it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna get that turdy point, turdy point buck. Haha (tury point buck)
 
2013-10-04 06:20:27 PM
Considering this happened in Oregon, he's lucky they didn't all die of dysentery.
 
2013-10-04 06:27:08 PM
images.zap2it.com
 
2013-10-04 06:31:34 PM

Keeve: uncleacid: The boy will have freezer full of meat for the winter.

Reading between the lines, I'm more inclined to believe he'll have them stuffed and mounted.


But not in that order...
 
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