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(Independent)   Someone sold the Iraqis phony bomb detectors, and was sent to jail for it. Fark: The Iraqis are still using them   (independent.co.uk) divider line 46
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4369 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2013 at 2:44 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-03 02:17:36 PM
Maybe they're looking for phony WMDs.
 
2013-10-03 02:43:52 PM
Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.
 
2013-10-03 02:49:19 PM
www.corbisimages.com
 
2013-10-03 02:51:07 PM
s3.vidimg02.popscreen.com

Marty McFly: Doc, you don't just walk into a store and-and buy plutonium! Did you rip that off?

Dr. Emmett Brown: Of course. From a group of Libyan nationalists. They wanted me to build them a bomb, so I took their plutonium and, in turn, gave them a shoddy bomb casing full of used pinball machine parts. Come on! Let's get you a radiation suit. We must prepare to reload.
 
2013-10-03 02:51:10 PM
DNRTFA but has anyone thought to tell the bomb sniffers?  I know this may be the obvious but I know there have been some mistakes made over there.
 
2013-10-03 02:53:19 PM
Yes. But they are finding a lot of golf balls. Iraq, it seems, is just one large sand trap.
 
2013-10-03 02:53:57 PM

EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.


Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.
 
2013-10-03 02:55:05 PM
McCormick is said to have made a total of $75m (£46.2m) from the Iraqi government, charging $40,000 for each unit, which cost $20 to produce.

McCormick is on track to be the first hu-man to be elevated to Grand Nagis.
 
2013-10-03 02:56:35 PM
www.freedomsphoenix.com

Someone sold the US phony bomb detectors.  They didn't go to jail for it, but profited handsomely.  Fark: the TSA quit using some of them, and purchased a new generation of bomb detectors that also don't work
 
2013-10-03 02:56:38 PM
Troll of the Decade award?

/it's one thing to go down for fraud
//another if your trolling is STILL BEING BELIEVED afterward
///Sweden has another spaghetti crop, too.
 
2013-10-03 03:03:44 PM

WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.


On the other side of that coin, there's a guy in the area who everyone relies on to drill their wells.  It's nothing so woo as dowsing, but he has a talent for going into areas where existing surveys tell you very little about where water might be, and despite that guessing where to drill and to what depth with a positive result about 80% of the time.  I wouldn't call it dowsing so much as a good instinct, but can anybody explain what subtle cues his instinct relies on that the rest of us are missing?  Nope.
 
2013-10-03 03:07:18 PM
Placebo effect applied to technology

The sentries feel a bit more secure so they look confident in their job

Potential bombers may be deterred

(as long as most people stay ignorant)

Bit like back in pre-scientific medicine days - prayer/witchdoctors no real use except psychologically, so better than nothing
 
2013-10-03 03:09:22 PM
Dowsing, how does it farking work? (It doesn't.)
 
2013-10-03 03:10:33 PM

WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.


Dowsing for pipes totally works. Take one of those little flags that the locator guys put in the ground and pull off the flag. This should leave you with a foot long wire. Make sure its bare metal, no plastic coating or anything. Bend a 90 degree angle about three inches into it. Hold it in your hand so the long part is horizontal. Grip it very lightly. Slowly walk forward with it pointing straight ahead, and whenever you walk over an old linear excavation the wire will rotate 90 degrees. Works best if you use one in each hand, and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe. Construction workers use it all the time. Basically you can use this to find old trenches for pipes, etc.
 
2013-10-03 03:15:07 PM

Veritas333: WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.

Dowsing for pipes totally works. Take one of those little flags that the locator guys put in the ground and pull off the flag. This should leave you with a foot long wire. Make sure its bare metal, no plastic coating or anything. Bend a 90 degree angle about three inches into it. Hold it in your hand so the long part is horizontal. Grip it very lightly. Slowly walk forward with it pointing straight ahead, and whenever you walk over an old linear excavation the wire will rotate 90 degrees. Works best if you use one in each hand, and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe. Construction workers use it all the time. Basically you can use this to find old trenches for pipes, etc.


And homeopathy really works too.
 
2013-10-03 03:18:24 PM

Veritas333: WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.

Dowsing for pipes totally works. Take one of those little flags that the locator guys put in the ground and pull off the flag. This should leave you with a foot long wire. Make sure its bare metal, no plastic coating or anything. Bend a 90 degree angle about three inches into it. Hold it in your hand so the long part is horizontal. Grip it very lightly. Slowly walk forward with it pointing straight ahead, and whenever you walk over an old linear excavation the wire will rotate 90 degrees. Works best if you use one in each hand, and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe. Construction workers use it all the time. Basically you can use this to find old trenches for pipes, etc.


or, ya know, you could just follow the spraypainted line the locator put on the ground, thats a good way to locate pipes too.
 
2013-10-03 03:21:36 PM

JesseL: Veritas333: WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.

Dowsing for pipes totally works. Take one of those little flags that the locator guys put in the ground and pull off the flag. This should leave you with a foot long wire. Make sure its bare metal, no plastic coating or anything. Bend a 90 degree angle about three inches into it. Hold it in your hand so the long part is horizontal. Grip it very lightly. Slowly walk forward with it pointing straight ahead, and whenever you walk over an old linear excavation the wire will rotate 90 degrees. Works best if you use one in each hand, and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe. Construction workers use it all the time. Basically you can use this to find old trenches for pipes, etc.

And homeopathy really works too.


Also if you spray oven cleaner on your license plate red light cameras can't take a clean picture of it, and if you're in a courtroom displaying a flag with gold fringe on it you're actually in a maritime court and they can't try you since you aren't a ship.
 
2013-10-03 03:26:44 PM
Which I imagine they probably knew already, and were simply using them to make people think they had the ability to detect bombs, but the potential bombers were not aware of, until now.
 
2013-10-03 03:27:43 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: [s3.vidimg02.popscreen.com image 464x348]

Marty McFly: Doc, you don't just walk into a store and-and buy plutonium! Did you rip that off?

Dr. Emmett Brown: Of course. From a group of Libyan nationalists. They wanted me to build them a bomb, so I took their plutonium and, in turn, gave them a shoddy bomb casing full of used pinball machine parts. Come on! Let's get you a radiation suit. We must prepare to reload.


Came for pinball machine parts.
Leaving satisfied
 
2013-10-03 03:38:30 PM
Was he from the Ministry of Housinge?
 
2013-10-03 03:39:54 PM
Just hook up a lie detector to the allegedly fake bomb detector to see if the bomb detector is lying. That should get to the bottom of it.
 
2013-10-03 03:39:57 PM
McCormick is said to have made a total of $75m (£46.2m) from the Iraqi government, charging $40,000 for each unit, which cost $20 to produce.

A fine businessman after our own kind.
 
2013-10-03 03:50:49 PM
Hey, it's better than nothing, subby!
 
2013-10-03 03:52:08 PM

trappedspirit: Hey, it's better than nothing, subby!


Yeah, really.  Suddenly a false sense of security is a bad thing.  If it's good enough for America, it's good enough for them!
 
2013-10-03 03:58:19 PM
FTA:  "My cousin is a policeman and he says they know these things do not work, but they have no orders to stop using them and they have been given nothing else."

Wait, so... they know they don't work, but have not received orders to not use them... so haven't they bothered to put in place any other preventive measures in the meantime?

The article doesn't say if they've put anything else in place to actually try to prevent bombs from getting through or not, but considering: "Around 20 dogs were bought to guard the capital's Green Zone, but the country's parliamentary security committee discovered they had not actually been trained to detect explosives" my hopes are not high that they've thought this far forward yet.
 
2013-10-03 04:03:16 PM

Sin_City_Superhero


gave them a shoddy bomb casing


I always thought it was a shiny bomb casing.
 
2013-10-03 04:22:54 PM
If you gave the Iraqi police bomb detectors that worked 100% of the time, they'd detect the same number of bombs they do now- the ones from people they disagree with religiously.

//If you're going out on a patrol, and the Iraqis refuse to go with you, there will be IEDs.
 
2013-10-03 04:22:59 PM
James McCormick, a former policeman, was convicted at the Old Bailey in April. His trial heard that the devices he was selling, called ADE-651, were based on novelty golf-ball finders and had no scientific means of detecting explosives.

I move that charges be dismissed, on grounds that the infraction was hilarious.
 
2013-10-03 04:24:07 PM
This is so awesome, that anyone would buy all of those with no vetting. I thought those dumbass guys in florida who were selling old communist ammo to the US gov to be used in Afghanistan was brilliant as far as evil crimes go. but this takes the cake.
 
2013-10-03 04:26:48 PM

Seraphym: FTA:  "My cousin is a policeman and he says they know these things do not work, but they have no orders to stop using them and they have been given nothing else."

Wait, so... they know they don't work, but have not received orders to not use them... so haven't they bothered to put in place any other preventive measures in the meantime?

The article doesn't say if they've put anything else in place to actually try to prevent bombs from getting through or not, but considering: "Around 20 dogs were bought to guard the capital's Green Zone, but the country's parliamentary security committee discovered they had not actually been trained to detect explosives" my hopes are not high that they've thought this far forward yet.


Sounds almost like they've got a cargo cult going on for their security.
 
2013-10-03 04:29:50 PM

WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.


That exact same thing happened to me.  My guy also told me he found the water line into the house.  He was in the right general area for the septic (which given the layout of the property is pretty easy to guess) but the wrong side of the house for the water line.  Later, when they were doing some road work further down our street, I saw him using a dowsing rod to mark where the sewer lines were.  The fact that they're right in the middle of the road and there is a manhole cover marked "sewer" about every 40 feet probably wasn't much of a clue.
 
2013-10-03 04:54:07 PM

Harry Freakstorm: McCormick is said to have made a total of $75m (£46.2m) from the Iraqi government, charging $40,000 for each unit, which cost $20 to produce.

McCormick is on track to be the first hu-man to be elevated to Grand Nagis.


The oomax will be legendary.  But someone confused the 34th and 35th Rules of Acquisition.
 
2013-10-03 05:02:25 PM
What a relatively cheap and effective bomb detection device may look like.

netdna.puppytoob.com

/Also, it can be refueled with Snausages and cuddling.
 
2013-10-03 05:03:28 PM
Lest anyone start feeling superior to those dumb Iraqis, I seem to recall the US Navy buying an equally absurd product called "Sniffex" last decade.

Oh yeah, and a few thousand Police agencies (including the Texas Rangers), schools, airports, etc. bought into the Quadro Tracker in the '90s.
 
2013-10-03 05:20:10 PM

fnordfocus: Lest anyone start feeling superior to those dumb Iraqis, I seem to recall the US Navy buying an equally absurd product called "Sniffex" last decade.

Oh yeah, and a few thousand Police agencies (including the Texas Rangers), schools, airports, etc. bought into the Quadro Tracker in the '90s.


I can't imagine anyone thinking there is a shortage of stupid people anywhere in the world.
 
2013-10-03 05:23:01 PM

Veritas333: WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.

Dowsing for pipes totally works. Take one of those little flags that the locator guys put in the ground and pull off the flag. This should leave you with a foot long wire. Make sure its bare metal, no plastic coating or anything. Bend a 90 degree angle about three inches into it. Hold it in your hand so the long part is horizontal. Grip it very lightly. Slowly walk forward with it pointing straight ahead, and whenever you walk over an old linear excavation the wire will rotate 90 degrees. Works best if you use one in each hand, and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe. Construction workers use it all the time. Basically you can use this to find old trenches for pipes, etc.


Dowsing is just your subconscious responding to your own expectations based on environmental cues.

I was once taken on a tour of Stonehenge by an "archeologist" who subscribed to ley lines. My group was a pretty skeptical one, but when primed by this lady about where the ley lines in the area were and how dowsing really worked to find them, most of us had dowsing rods move in our hands at the right places.

And yet, every experiment that has tested dowsers under controlled conditions, where there were no cues to work with, have found them to perform no better than chance. It's a trick of our subconscious telling us something it already knows, whether from priming about ley lines or experience with common ways of laying water pipes.
 
2013-10-03 05:24:48 PM

fnordfocus: Lest anyone start feeling superior to those dumb Iraqis, I seem to recall the US Navy buying an equally absurd product called "Sniffex" last decade.

Oh yeah, and a few thousand Police agencies (including the Texas Rangers), schools, airports, etc. bought into the Quadro Tracker in the '90s.


I'll gladly feel superior to any and all idiots who bought into this hokum at the Navy, Texas Rangers, schools, and airports too.
 
2013-10-03 05:51:25 PM
Cue the training scene from arrested development's iraq story line..
 
2013-10-03 05:52:40 PM

blacknite: Veritas333: WhoopAssWayne: EvilEgg: Dowsing for bombs?  They really should try crystal power, because while dowsing is obviously fake, no one can deny the power in crystals.

Dowsing is actually real. The trick is that the power has to be given to you by someone with the ability. After they hand it down, they lose the power. All of this was told to me by the guy who, outside my house, pulled out his dowsing rods, they spun around in his hands a bit, and then he accurately found my sewage line. His said the fact I showed him where it came out of the house and where the septic tank was had no effect whatsoever.

Dowsing for pipes totally works. Take one of those little flags that the locator guys put in the ground and pull off the flag. This should leave you with a foot long wire. Make sure its bare metal, no plastic coating or anything. Bend a 90 degree angle about three inches into it. Hold it in your hand so the long part is horizontal. Grip it very lightly. Slowly walk forward with it pointing straight ahead, and whenever you walk over an old linear excavation the wire will rotate 90 degrees. Works best if you use one in each hand, and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe. Construction workers use it all the time. Basically you can use this to find old trenches for pipes, etc.

or, ya know, you could just follow the spraypainted line the locator put on the ground, thats a good way to locate pipes too.


It doesn't work too well for cable lines, though.
 
2013-10-03 07:34:45 PM
Big deal. They are still using forked sticks to divine for water.

They find a lot more buried weapons than water. That may be a factor in their credulity.
 
2013-10-03 08:57:41 PM
Confirmation bias.  I went out and didn't get blown up while using this!  It must work!

Works especially well when the naysayers don't have much left to say.


I wasn't sure until this part.  Well played.

Veritas333: and if you are walking perpendicular to the pipe.

 
2013-10-03 09:29:51 PM
img156.imageshack.us
 
2013-10-03 09:30:16 PM
Makes sense, fake WMD's, fake Iraqi tanks at Kuwaiti border, fake terrorists, fake OBL, fake OBL death, fake Bengasi, fake Libya, fake Syria and fake Obamer Care.
 
2013-10-03 10:34:36 PM
Try it sometime over a steel culvert running under a road.
You might be surprised.
 
2013-10-03 10:52:13 PM

mjjt: Placebo effect applied to technology

The sentries feel a bit more secure so they look confident in their job

Potential bombers may be deterred

(as long as most people stay ignorant)

Bit like back in pre-scientific medicine days - prayer/witchdoctors no real use except psychologically, so better than nothing


That sounds suspiciously like Liberals belief in Gun Control. It doesn't work, we know it doesn't work, we know why it doesn't work, but we keep trying it anyway because it sounds good.
 
2013-10-04 05:20:29 AM

ex-nuke: That sounds suspiciously like Liberals belief in Gun Control. It doesn't work, we know it doesn't work, we know why it doesn't work, but we keep trying it anyway because it sounds good.


dickinabox.net

/Who let you out of the politics tab?
 
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