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(Independent)   "Legislation is overdue that states you may be in possession of either a car or a penis, but not both"   (independent.co.uk) divider line 69
    More: Amusing  
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5187 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2013 at 1:00 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-03 11:15:01 AM
That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.
 
2013-10-03 11:16:25 AM
Mine are all awesome, thank you.
 
2013-10-03 11:18:40 AM
So he suffers from road rage and the only thing he can think of doing to stop that is to ban all men from driving?

He needs to do more than turn in his man-card. He is a terrible person. That level of wrong headed thinking, coupled with apparently being a journalist, is a dangerous thing.
 
2013-10-03 12:11:57 PM
i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-03 01:05:13 PM
Self correcting problem.
 
2013-10-03 01:06:04 PM

basemetal: That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.

Slaxl: He needs to do more than turn in his man-card.


You two need cards to determine whether you're a man or not? How cute.
 
2013-10-03 01:07:12 PM
A. Speed up automated car development and research
B. Fine the shiat out of public road racers. (yanking their driver's license, at least in the US, cuts them off from any way to work, so that could turn them to crime. Thanks, shiatty public transportation!)
 
2013-10-03 01:09:52 PM
I have a motorcycle, a penis, and no car HA HA HA
 
2013-10-03 01:11:48 PM
I almost choked on a noodle reading that headline.
 
2013-10-03 01:12:45 PM
He needs to ride shot gun with any of my ex's.  That imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side never works.
 
2013-10-03 01:12:46 PM
wtfamireading.jpg
 
2013-10-03 01:14:36 PM
I'm fully in favor of this idiot turning in his license.
 
2013-10-03 01:15:29 PM
Get the google automated car on the road, reliable, and no DWI laws applied while it is autonomous mode and I'm in.  If I want to feel the exhilaration of manual driving I'll have no problem going to a track or scenic location set aside for such.
 
2013-10-03 01:17:39 PM

sn82: I almost choked on a noodle reading that headline.


I hope that's not a euphemism
 
2013-10-03 01:18:05 PM

new_york_monty: I'm fully in favor of this idiot turning in his license.


He's a journalist. The insurance companies all know how they drive.

/ my penis is detachable.
 
2013-10-03 01:18:09 PM
I followed up to the point where  he is a terrible driver that shouldn't be allowed in a car, but I don't see any logic between that and where he extended it to his entire gender... or where he justified excluding the other.
 
2013-10-03 01:18:11 PM
What?! And have the roads filled with all women drivers! Insanity.
 
2013-10-03 01:18:30 PM
Nobody has called him out for being an attention whore blogger yet?
Nice way to get lots of hits, come between a man and his car.

/do you feel more important now
//go brag to mommy that something you wrote got attention, I am sure she will give you a lollypop
 
2013-10-03 01:18:38 PM
Ok, if having an expensive (hummers, ferraris, those kinds of expensive cars) is a sign of having a tiny penis, having an economic midget car means you've got a gargantuan trouser snake?.
 
2013-10-03 01:18:41 PM

Theaetetus: basemetal: That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.
Slaxl: He needs to do more than turn in his man-card.

You two need cards to determine whether you're a man or not? How cute.


He never had one to begin with. Petty, condescending insults are also a prime way to get your man card revoked.
 
2013-10-03 01:19:10 PM
I was going to post a stereotypical "woman driver" pic but this was funnier.

conshriscale.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-03 01:19:39 PM
Stop selling little red cars. Those are the ones that drive too fast.
I drive a puke green Subaru, and drive like a lesbian.
 
2013-10-03 01:20:11 PM
If we mandated cannabis consumption before driving it would save countless lives.
 
2013-10-03 01:22:05 PM
DO NOT CLICK THE LINK. TROLLING FOR CLICKS.

This article is so full of blatant stupidity and sexism, we should not reward this asshat with ad impressions. He insults all genders with unquestioned negative generalizations and offends logic even more so.

Not even worth picking apart.
 
2013-10-03 01:22:35 PM
Oh, haha, this is hilarious!  Of course, if I even made a JOKE about "Women should not drive", I would probably be hunted down and fired from my job as well as "possible rapist" posters posted around my house.  Meanwhile it is a DOCUMENTED FACT that women are responsible for 90% of all vehicle accidents in north america... but they are still, by law, preferentially hired for all jobs paying more than $40,000 a year, as well as automatically getting child custody.  I know two men who have been jailed for cont

Actually I DNRTFA, who links to paywalled sites anyway?
 
2013-10-03 01:22:44 PM

CygnusDarius: Ok, if having an expensive (hummers, ferraris, those kinds of expensive cars) is a sign of having a tiny penis, having an economic midget car means you've got a gargantuan trouser snake?.


www.handresearch.com
But I thought this was how you waved at any guy driving a Hummer.
 
2013-10-03 01:24:11 PM

probesport: sn82: I almost choked on a noodle reading that headline.

I hope that's not a euphemism


;)
 
2013-10-03 01:24:13 PM

Theaetetus: basemetal: That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.
Slaxl: He needs to do more than turn in his man-card.

You two need cards to determine whether you're a man or not? How cute.


It's like the men who proclaim that they're "alpha."
 
2013-10-03 01:24:27 PM
He's kind of turned this XKCD on its head:

imgs.xkcd.com

Doesn't make what he'd saying any less sexist. FWIW, I know women who drive like he described his own experience and men who drive like he thinks all women do.
 
2013-10-03 01:25:03 PM
I figured that all of the face-slapping stupidity I would read today would be on the politics tab in regards to the federal shutdown. Way to prove me wrong, blogger.
 
2013-10-03 01:25:05 PM
But how to drive 85 while getting your wing wang squeezed without spilling your drink?
 
2013-10-03 01:25:40 PM
So Mazda Miata owners?
 
2013-10-03 01:28:21 PM

basemetal: That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.


He was trying SO HARD to be clever and funny I almost felt bad for him.
 
2013-10-03 01:29:01 PM

Theaetetus: basemetal: That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.
Slaxl: He needs to do more than turn in his man-card.

You two need cards to determine whether you're a man or not? How cute.


You pretend to not know what they mean. How cute.
 
2013-10-03 01:29:15 PM
But they have the added bonus of being far more suited to regular-people driving

Uh huh.

I guarantee that on my commute home tonight I will see, if I pay attention, at LEAST ten examples of women:

1. Camping the left or middle lanes and forcing people to undertake them
2. Driving at highway speeds within 2 cars lengths of the car in front
3. Changing lanes - no turn signal - within 1 or 2 car lengths of the person they're moving in front of so that person has to hit their brakes
4. Merging without looking
5. Driving WELL below the prevailing speed for no obvious reason such that a line of half a dozen or more cars are collected behind her

I'll bet if I watch for talking or texting and subtract 2 for every man I see doing it and add 1 for every woman I see doing it I could almost hit my quota just on that.
 
2013-10-03 01:29:36 PM

new_york_monty: I'm fully in favor of this idiot turning in his license.


Or at least his penis.
 
2013-10-03 01:36:30 PM

Fano: But how to drive 85 while getting your wing wang squeezed without spilling your drink?


There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. 

So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' 75 in an 18-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
 
2013-10-03 01:37:23 PM

Slaxl: So he suffers from road rage and the only thing he can think of doing to stop that is to ban all men from driving?


Wait, is this a gun control thread?
 
2013-10-03 01:39:04 PM

Theaetetus: basemetal: That little snowflake just needs to handover his man card.
Slaxl: He needs to do more than turn in his man-card.

You two need cards to determine whether you're a man or not? How cute.


HA!
 
2013-10-03 01:42:18 PM

LeroyBourne: CygnusDarius: Ok, if having an expensive (hummers, ferraris, those kinds of expensive cars) is a sign of having a tiny penis, having an economic midget car means you've got a gargantuan trouser snake?.

[www.handresearch.com image 150x250]
But I thought this was how you waved at any guy driving a Hummer.


my fella drives a Miata.  on our first date, i made that joke of the two kinds of people who drive Miatas.  turns out he actually was a helicopter pilot.  and as for the pants element, that is true, too.  ouch.
 
2013-10-03 01:42:23 PM

Jim_Callahan: I followed up to the point where  he is a terrible driver that shouldn't be allowed in a car, but I don't see any logic between that and where he extended it to his entire gender... or where he justified excluding the other.


He's trying to excuse his douche-bag behavior by suggesting that anyone with a penis is just as big a douche as he is. He should definitely turn in his and the soft dangley things hanging under it.  Don't worry you'll be happier, calmer more affectionate.  It's in your best interest really.
 
2013-10-03 01:44:04 PM
What cars are those, Ferraris? Looks like the horse badge to me.
 
2013-10-03 01:49:20 PM
Yeah anyway, what's the story behind those mangled supercars in the pic??
 
2013-10-03 01:52:22 PM

wingnut396: Get the google automated car on the road, reliable, and no DWI laws applied while it is autonomous mode and I'm in.  If I want to feel the exhilaration of manual driving I'll have no problem going to a track or scenic location set aside for such.


And those of us who get carsick when not driving?
 
2013-10-03 01:52:51 PM
 
2013-10-03 01:55:03 PM
So dumbass has this delusion that he represents all men and that because he is a douche who should have his balls cut off, he thinks that all men should have their balls cut off.  Sorry dumbass, you pay for your own sins, other men should not have to also pay for it, just because you were weak doesn't mean all men are weak.
 
2013-10-03 01:56:30 PM
Here's the actual article:  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8934718/Astonishing-accident - involving-eight-Ferraris-worlds-most-expensive-car-crash.html

(Previous link has some very interesting Ferrari statistics though)
 
2013-10-03 01:58:38 PM

CoysOdie: What cars are those, Ferraris? Looks like the horse badge to me.


The Ferrari models understood to have been involved in the pile-up include a F355, F512, F355, F430 and a F360.


*cries*
 
2013-10-03 02:00:04 PM

skozlaw: But they have the added bonus of being far more suited to regular-people driving

Uh huh.

I guarantee that on my commute home tonight I will see, if I pay attention, at LEAST ten examples of women:

1. Camping the left or middle lanes and forcing people to undertake them
2. Driving at highway speeds within 2 cars lengths of the car in front
3. Changing lanes - no turn signal - within 1 or 2 car lengths of the person they're moving in front of so that person has to hit their brakes
4. Merging without looking
5. Driving WELL below the prevailing speed for no obvious reason such that a line of half a dozen or more cars are collected behind her

I'll bet if I watch for talking or texting and subtract 2 for every man I see doing it and add 1 for every woman I see doing it I could almost hit my quota just on that.


That reminds me of when I was on the PA turnpike. The car in front of me had a blue hair and was going 55, so I checked my left mirror and looked out the side window. Nothing there, so I signaled for a few seconds before moving over to pass. As I'm crossing the lane markers I hear a horn blasting. I look again and I still see nothing, but the horn doesn't stop so I get back in the lane. This little subcompact moves forward out of my blind spot and there's this young woman glaring at me. biatch stayed there the next hundred miles as traffic piled up behind us.
 
2013-10-03 02:09:08 PM
I don't even care what this hassle has to say.  Clearly he is jealous and is probably a hipster. Someone should take his penis, cut it off and stick it on a bike seat so go f..  well you guys are smart, figure it out.


/didn't read past the first line
 
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