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(National Review)   The elitism of Michelle Obama's suggestion to drink water   (nationalreview.com) divider line 170
    More: Obvious, Michelle Obama, elite culture, Egyptians, bandwagon effects, bottled waters, distilled water  
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2801 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Oct 2013 at 3:42 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



170 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-02 03:41:51 PM
Dear Mrs Obama
Could you please next speak out in favor of berthing air? We might thin the herd faster if all your critics try to go without oxygen
 
2013-10-02 03:43:10 PM
Jonah Goldberg

I think I'll pass on deep thoughts from the Doughy Pantload.
 
2013-10-02 03:44:09 PM
Jonah Goldberg? Well, I'm thankful that they found a shorter way to say "this will be a complete waste of your time to read."
 
2013-10-02 03:44:41 PM
Why is he citing soda consumption statistics from 1998?
 
2013-10-02 03:46:13 PM
Wait, never mind. He thinks water only comes in bottles.
 
2013-10-02 03:46:55 PM
i78.photobucket.com

/Obligatory for all Jonah Goldberg threads.
 
2013-10-02 03:47:11 PM
Wow. Just freakin' wow.
 
2013-10-02 03:47:14 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jonah Goldberg

I think I'll pass on deep thoughts from the Doughy Pantload.


I really, really wrestled with wanting to see what kind of argument it was vs. knowing who wrote it and just how bad it would be.

DNRTFA.
 
2013-10-02 03:48:06 PM
FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.
 
2013-10-02 03:48:16 PM
The only people who are going to have a problem with this are the fat, Mountain Dew guzzling rednecks.
 
2013-10-02 03:48:17 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jonah Goldberg

I think I'll pass on deep thoughts from the Doughy Pantload.


But it's his Watergate moment!
 
2013-10-02 03:48:35 PM
Water?!  Like out of the toilet?

/jonah goldberg contains electrolytes
/it's what derp craves
 
2013-10-02 03:48:42 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-02 03:48:44 PM
 Jonah Goldberg

Eat a dick, subby.
 
2013-10-02 03:49:29 PM

balki1867: FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.


He's a Sunny D fan?

Aw man, not the purple stuff!
 
2013-10-02 03:49:29 PM

balki1867: FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.


Nice catch.
 
2013-10-02 03:49:38 PM

Babbs: The only people who are going to have a problem with this are the fat, Mountain Dew guzzling rednecks.


Please, they also drink Bud-we-think-corporations-are-patrotic-weiser.
 
2013-10-02 03:49:43 PM
I'm just gonna leave this here:

Murdering, Lying, Thieving, Rat-F*** Republican Pieces of Sub-Amphibian Sh**...

....mendacious, death-loving, frothing, lamprey-mouthed, inhuman, abominable, atrocious, verminous, rapacious, sadistic, bullying, invasive, grasping, psychopathic, twisted, warped, animalistic, belly-crawling, mouth-breathing, illiterate, innumerate, know-nothing, imbecilic, sheep-raping, horror movie extras masturbating into wads of money while fantasizing about war collateral damage...(inhale)...puppy-torturing, vacuous, mindless, nihilistic, evil, diseased, soulless, morally bankrupt, greedy, insecure, envious, kleptomaniac charnel-house mascots stewing in universal hatred for all life...(inhale)...toxic, ugly, bestial, humorless, loveless, compassionless, demonic human-shaped ruins forever slouching toward Bethlehem in search of some fresh nightmare to wreak on the defenseless via other people's money and heroism...(inhale)...Satanic monkey-shiat-throwing, cowardly, chickenhawkish, parasitic, baby's-candy-stealing, wife-beating, minority-purging, syphilitic Confederate poltergeists with erectile dysfunction...
.
...perverse, prurient, crocodile-eyed, necrophiliac mass-producers of human misery and gleeful destroyers of truth, justice, and the American way...sepulchre-hearted human deserts walking the Earth only to look for more victims...silly, stupid, ignorant bastards proud of every good thing they've never done, every person they've never been considerate toward, every fact they've never learned and will never acknowledge, and every virtue they will never possess or even attempt to comprehend...preternaturally drunken, bleary-eyed, zombie-like, empty vessels who wander aimlessly until given instruction by their masters...unthinking, unquestioning, unfeeling diabolus ex machina mockeries of the human condition, perpetually acting out a burlesque of the basest and least interesting psychological dysfunctions...
...face-chewing, self-devouring, medieval barbarian museum dioramas and depraved Nazi homunculi preserved in formaldehyde to frighten children...sick, ominous, loathsome,  Nosferatu-impersonating Gollum-acolytes feasting on the flesh of our society while complaining about its taste...tax-evading, sommelier-abusing, election-buying, yacht-aficionado hemmorhoids flying flags of convenience and berating their six-year-old Chinese employees for requesting bathroom breaks...
Republicans, you vile, repulsive, scum.  You're not leading this country.  You're not contributing to this country.  You're not even part of this country.  You are the maggot-ridden rot that arises in this country's damaged flesh; you are the vultures constantly picking at us to see if we're weak enough yet to become your next meal; you create problems where none would otherwise exist, just to further weaken America and quicken your own insatiable appetites; you are garbage, and you are traitors.  And you are not welcome in this country anymore.
 
2013-10-02 03:50:12 PM

balki1867: FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.


I laughed.
 
2013-10-02 03:50:13 PM
Oh good, I get more use out of this image:

Jonah Goldberg article?

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-10-02 03:51:03 PM

NuttierThanEver: Dear Mrs Obama
Could you please next speak out in favor of berthing air?


lh4.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-10-02 03:51:10 PM
Grape soda? Really?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-02 03:51:19 PM
ecx.images-amazon.com

Makes water mighty mighty tasty
 
2013-10-02 03:52:11 PM
gods help me, I actually read the article and I STILL have no idea what he's saying.
 
2013-10-02 03:53:48 PM
Next you're going to tell me that the biatch is eating crackers like she owns the place.
 
2013-10-02 03:54:06 PM
that has to be one of the dumbest articles I have read today, and today has been absolutely chock full of dumb articles. Kudos for making me dumber Mr. Goldberg.

btw, what the fark was your point to begin with?
 
2013-10-02 03:54:09 PM
WTF did I just read?
 
2013-10-02 03:54:21 PM

skyotter: gods help me, I actually read the article and I STILL have no idea what he's saying.


well the water thing is ironic because it is also elitist which isn't really necessary but i do drink beer from time to time which is great but you know those youths don't like plastic bottles in bottled water so that is noblesse oblige (i think)
 
2013-10-02 03:54:51 PM
Finally! We can definitively answer the question, "Is there anything the Obamas can say that the Right won't complain about?"
 
2013-10-02 03:54:56 PM

NuttierThanEver: Dear Mrs Obama
Could you please next speak out in favor of berthing air?


But only if you're married. All these out-of-wedlock airs are making god angry.

// alternatively, you could store it in a train section, but you'd need an impermeable membrane to hold it there
 
2013-10-02 03:55:02 PM

sprawl15: skyotter: gods help me, I actually read the article and I STILL have no idea what he's saying.

well the water thing is ironic because it is also elitist which isn't really necessary but i do drink beer from time to time which is great but you know those youths don't like plastic bottles in bottled water so that is noblesse oblige (i think)


i drink tap water out of a plastic bottles

what now, president baobab bababa
 
2013-10-02 03:55:04 PM

balki1867: FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.


I noticed that too.  Just a coincidence, I'm sure.
Altho shouldn't it have been Kool-Aid?
 
2013-10-02 03:55:13 PM

LasersHurt: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jonah Goldberg

I think I'll pass on deep thoughts from the Doughy Pantload.

I really, really wrestled with wanting to see what kind of argument it was vs. knowing who wrote it and just how bad it would be.

DNRTFA.


From the best I can tell, and mind you, I'm kinda guessing here cuz I stopped being able to follow it, it's something to the effect of "Other people told us to eat healthy. Moochelle is just jumping in front of all of them and trying to steal their glory."

Mind you, I only made it about 3 paragraphs in.
 
2013-10-02 03:55:43 PM
According to Beverage Tracker (you don't subscribe?), in 1998, soda was our No. 1 drink of choice, with Americans consuming 54 gallons of the stuff every year. Today, it's down to 44 gallons, while water consumption has hit 58 gallons and rising.

PROBLEM SOLVED COMPLETELY AND FOREVER! Checkmate, Ms. Obama.
 
2013-10-02 03:56:28 PM
let them drink grape soda
 
Bf+
2013-10-02 03:56:28 PM

balki1867: FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.



water...melon...water...melon...
We're through the looking glass here, people.
 
2013-10-02 03:56:42 PM
I have three Brita pitchers that I bought from Goodwill for $2.96 each. What now, Republicans?
 
2013-10-02 03:56:50 PM

ikanreed: Babbs: The only people who are going to have a problem with this are the fat, Mountain Dew guzzling rednecks.

Please, they also drink Bud-we-think-corporations-are-patrotic-weiser.


Come on, True Patriots drink Coors.  Much more of a derpy company.
 
2013-10-02 03:56:59 PM

grumpfuff: LasersHurt: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jonah Goldberg

I think I'll pass on deep thoughts from the Doughy Pantload.

I really, really wrestled with wanting to see what kind of argument it was vs. knowing who wrote it and just how bad it would be.

DNRTFA.

From the best I can tell, and mind you, I'm kinda guessing here cuz I stopped being able to follow it, it's something to the effect of "Other people told us to eat healthy. Moochelle is just jumping in front of all of them and trying to steal their glory."

Mind you, I only made it about 3 paragraphs in.


A braver man than I.
 
2013-10-02 03:57:51 PM
I'm drinking water right now.

Drawn straight from the tap!

OH GOD, SHE'S GOTTEN TO ME!!!


SOMEBODY HELP!!!!!
 
2013-10-02 03:58:13 PM

urbangirl: balki1867: FTFA: But it might take up belly space that otherwise would have gone to grape soda, Red Bull, or some other sugary concoction.

We get it.

I noticed that too.  Just a coincidence, I'm sure.
Altho shouldn't it have been Kool-Aid?


24.media.tumblr.com

Off-screen guy agrees.

"Yo, see if they got Kool-Aid!"
 
2013-10-02 03:59:16 PM
I read five lines, then I was thinking, for about 10 minutes, why did I do that?

How was it possible that I managed to read 5 lines? What the hell is wrong with me?
 
2013-10-02 03:59:18 PM
List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):
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WHO
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Water Link
 
2013-10-02 03:59:31 PM

skyotter: gods help me, I actually read the article and I STILL have no idea what he's saying.


Yeah neither did I. I think he was trying to imply that the First Lady was jumping onto a trend, rather than suggesting drinking water for health reasons, but it just kind of fizzled out with a "You silly Liberals" at the end.
 
2013-10-02 03:59:36 PM
30.media.tumblr.com
The hatred of the Obamas is so delusional.
 
2013-10-02 03:59:42 PM
Can't these people just eat their farking guns already? The darkness isn't going to lift for another 999.3 years anyways.
 
2013-10-02 03:59:44 PM
I know, it's like how drinking and driving has gone down in recent decades, and I still see ads encouraging people to not drink and drive.  Way to jump on the bandwagon, jerks!
 
2013-10-02 04:01:00 PM
I love the comments beneath the article where conservatives argue that soda is the purest water. I'm kidding:

"My wife gives me grief for buying a soda instead of water when I am on the road. Water comes out of the faucet and costs $1.50 a bottle on up. Soda has water (the purest possible), flavor, color, corn syrup and a host of other ingredients, all mixed together using the best of technology to yield a flavorful beverage and it costs less than the bottle of water.

Soda is also stimulative to the economy. Look at the farmers and the chemists and the "mixologists" that are employed by the soda company, all using pure, clean water as the base ingredient to their delicious beverage."
 
2013-10-02 04:01:15 PM

Kuroshin: I'm drinking water right now.

Drawn straight from the tap!

OH GOD, SHE'S GOTTEN TO ME!!!


SOMEBODY HELP!!!!!



Too late, son.  Too..... LATE!
 
2013-10-02 04:01:34 PM
I wish that, rather than food and nutrition, Michelle Obama had chosen childhood literacy for her pet cause; hearing the hyper-right wing rant against kids reading books would be a refreshing breath of honesty from them.
 
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