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(The Morning Call)   Where else is a lonely, homeless guy supposed to masturbate?   (mcall.com) divider line 108
    More: Sad, homeless  
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9664 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2013 at 1:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



108 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-01 12:41:32 PM  
Fark is not your personal erotica site, subby.
 
2013-10-01 01:09:26 PM  
Second floor, women's health section.
 
2013-10-01 01:31:43 PM  
The public library, duh
 
2013-10-01 01:39:14 PM  
Daddy, what is that man wrestling with in the corner of the library basement?

Um, er, well I um.......that's Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel.   Um, head for the car brap jr.

But why is he?

It's time for us to go now.

But...

 I SAID GET IN THE GOT DAMN CAR!
 
2013-10-01 01:39:59 PM  
That is incredibly sad.  I'd like to give him a shower, clean him up, and give him a hand.
 
2013-10-01 01:40:23 PM  
Well, I prefer the grocery store. The library? That's weird, man. Just... weird.
 
2013-10-01 01:41:15 PM  
Well we masturbate in Allentown
And they're closing all the libraries down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing kits
Filling out forms
This is the -- this is bad.
 
2013-10-01 01:41:35 PM  
Walmart?
 
2013-10-01 01:42:06 PM  
San Diego?
 
2013-10-01 01:42:10 PM  
The halls of the Capitol Building, along with all the others.  One big farking dick-jerking contest is going on there.
 
2013-10-01 01:44:17 PM  

Buttknuckle: That is incredibly sad.  I'd like to give him a shower, clean him up, and give him a hand.


This is what I thought, also. Poor man. Even homeless people want/need to jack it sometimes (although I'm sure the library has public restrooms, hrm), and it doesn't seem like this guy was deliberately perving on anyone.

/(Your username is amusing for this story, because I am 12)
 
2013-10-01 01:44:25 PM  
Well, if masturbating in a public library is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
 
2013-10-01 01:44:33 PM  

Snarfangel: Well we masturbate in Allentown
And they're closing all the libraries down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing kits
Filling out forms
This is the -- this is bad.


Came here to do an Allentown parody. Will do it anyway.

Well I'm jerking here in Allentown
And my pants are pulled all the way down
The librarian says I have to go
But I just came
So what does she know
And I'm jerking here in Allentown
 
2013-10-01 01:45:05 PM  
Behind the dumpster at Denny's, of course.
 
2013-10-01 01:45:38 PM  

SisterMaryElephant: The halls of the Capitol Building, along with all the others.  One big farking dick-jerking contest is going on there.


Can't be a giant masturbation session, since a lot of us are actually getting screwed.
 
2013-10-01 01:45:43 PM  
You all read his last name as "strokes" and you know it.
 
2013-10-01 01:47:51 PM  
So in other words, a homeless man was just given 3 hots and a cot.  How do you know this wasn't his intent without robbing or hurting someone else?
 
2013-10-01 01:48:15 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Damn bums! Making a mess all over the city!

/The police? The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless and you people are counting on the police?!
 
2013-10-01 01:48:15 PM  
Good question, Subby, good question indeed.
 
2013-10-01 01:48:33 PM  

blatz514: You all read his last name as "strokes" and you know it.


Came here, logged in, and cruised the comments to try and say this. But, it already has.
/sadface
 
2013-10-01 01:48:57 PM  
How would you like to have to cuff that guy?
 
2013-10-01 01:49:15 PM  

Inchoate: Buttknuckle: That is incredibly sad.  I'd like to give him a shower, clean him up, and give him a hand.

This is what I thought, also. Poor man. Even homeless people want/need to jack it sometimes (although I'm sure the library has public restrooms, hrm), and it doesn't seem like this guy was deliberately perving on anyone.

/(Your username is amusing for this story, because I am 12)


12 year olds should not be giving old men "a hand".

/Call me old-fashioned
 
2013-10-01 01:50:01 PM  
www.iconsoffright.com
 
2013-10-01 01:50:24 PM  

ElLoco: Well, I prefer the grocery store. The library? That's weird, man. Just... weird.


Target. Then you can wipe off with panties, and leave a little surprise in case someone wants to try them on.
 
2013-10-01 01:51:52 PM  

JohnnyRebel88: So in other words, a homeless man was just given 3 hots and a cot.  How do you know this wasn't his intent without robbing or hurting someone else?


Very well could've been, although I hope he avoids the sex offender registry.
 
2013-10-01 01:52:01 PM  

Walker: Snarfangel: Well we masturbate in Allentown
And they're closing all the libraries down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing kits
Filling out forms
This is the -- this is bad.

Came here to do an Allentown parody. Will do it anyway.

Well I'm jerking here in Allentown
And my pants are pulled all the way down
The librarian says I have to go
But I just came
So what does she know
And I'm jerking here in Allentown




Lol you suck for posting this and I suck for laughing at this.
 
2013-10-01 01:52:21 PM  
This is why I thought Hardees existed?

You mean to tell me people eat there?
 
2013-10-01 01:52:35 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: The public library, duh


Wait, this WASN'T at the public library?
 
2013-10-01 01:53:03 PM  
District Judge Robert Halal

Prosecutor: Bruce Shawarma
Defense Attorney: Angela Cous-Cous
 
2013-10-01 01:53:10 PM  
Sorry officer, I was just making a bookmark.
 
2013-10-01 01:53:57 PM  
Our library is forced by our state to provide unrestricted internet. You always see people watching porn there and it is disturbing.
 
2013-10-01 01:54:36 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: The public library, duh


this. with all the other homeless guys.
 
2013-10-01 01:55:50 PM  
So to be clear here, we are all in favor of our tax dollars being used to build masturbatoriums for the homeless? I mean, I AM, but I'm just checking. For a friend.
 
2013-10-01 01:58:40 PM  

Fano: So to be clear here, we are all in favor of our tax dollars being used to build masturbatoriums for the homeless? I mean, I AM, but I'm just checking. For a friend.


o dear gawd that was funny ...
 
2013-10-01 01:58:41 PM  
If nothing sees you but a security camera is it still public lewdness? This answers it: yes.
 
2013-10-01 01:58:51 PM  
The City outskirts.
 
2013-10-01 02:00:35 PM  

CygnusDarius: The City upoutskirts.

 
2013-10-01 02:02:27 PM  
The Center for Crusty Juggling?
 
2013-10-01 02:04:26 PM  
On your mom like everybody else?
 
2013-10-01 02:05:06 PM  
Alright, joking aside...
Starbucks.
Single use bathroom, dimmed lights, soft music.

What? I was hitch-hiking for a few months. What was I supposed to do, Jiz my sleeping bag?
Don't look at me like that. You'd do it too.
 
2013-10-01 02:05:15 PM  
That is why there is an insanity problem among today's homeless. That activity is also known to cause blindness as well as growing hair on your palms. Don't do it for your own sake!!
 
2013-10-01 02:07:17 PM  

Walker: Snarfangel: Well we masturbate in Allentown
And they're closing all the libraries down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing kits
Filling out forms
This is the -- this is bad.

Came here to do an Allentown parody. Will do it anyway.

Well I'm jerking here in Allentown
And my pants are pulled all the way down
The librarian says I have to go
But I just came
So what does she know
And I'm jerking here in Allentown


I was warming to a pretty good shot
It'd been a while so it would be a lot.
but I missed a camera pointed at that place
The cops came and interrupted my O face, oh oh oh.

Chemical castration here in Allentown
And it's hard to keep a good man down.
But it won't be getting up todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaah.
 
2013-10-01 02:07:57 PM  
i.imgur.com

Sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do.
 
2013-10-01 02:09:22 PM  
The Allentown library?  Thanks, but no thanks, I'll stick to the local college libraries.  Muhlenberg, Lehigh and Lafayette all have very good libraries.
 
2013-10-01 02:14:53 PM  
10:48 PM? Apparently no kids or anyone else around? If I were the cop I just would have shooed him away. What's the point in arresting him? It's not like he walked into a crowded Denny's and started jacking it while howling the lyrics Madonna's "Get Into the Groove."

Escaping homelessness is tough enough (difficulty maintaining image/smell for job interviews, etc) without having a conviction for jerking off.

Furthermore, who in this thread has never had sex in a public place? Well, this is Fark but usually the answer to that question is "no one." How more offensive is it that I'm balls-deep in a coed's ass but the cops just smirk, tell us to get dressed, and leave?
 
2013-10-01 02:17:11 PM  
But ... but ... but did he get to finish?
 
2013-10-01 02:19:14 PM  
If you're in lovely San Bernardino you can catch the occasional hobo whack off in broad daylight while he leans up against a building.

San BeanerNegro is really going down hill these days.
 
2013-10-01 02:24:46 PM  
teylix:
12 year olds should not be giving old men "a hand".
/Call me old-fashioned


He was born on Feb. 29.  He's actually 48 years old, but has only had 12 birthdays.

hailin:
Our library is forced by our state to provide unrestricted internet. You always see people watching porn there and it is disturbing.

I was led to believe it's generally librarians who hate censorship, and governments who want it...
 
2013-10-01 02:26:02 PM  
"Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!"
 
2013-10-01 02:26:41 PM  

ElLoco: Well, I prefer the grocery store. The library? That's weird, man. Just... weird.


If flogging the bishop in the plumbing section of the Home Depot is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
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