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(Chicago Trib)   Man who stabbed bird to death gets 90 days in jail, where he will have to get used to a cockatoo for awhile   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 41
    More: Dumbass, Glendale Heights, DuPage County, Illinois, jail, dolls  
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1835 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2013 at 10:45 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-30 09:01:56 PM
Bravo subby, HOTY candidate.
 
2013-09-30 09:15:07 PM
Nicely done.
 
2013-09-30 09:31:18 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-30 09:55:17 PM
"Mr. Hrtiz's anger got the best of him,"

Anger and a startling lack of vowels in his last name.
 
2013-09-30 09:57:26 PM

fusillade762: "Mr. Hrtiz's anger got the best of him,"

Anger and a startling lack of vowels in his last name.


Short vowel syndrome
 
2013-09-30 10:23:19 PM
HOTY candidate for sure.
 
2013-09-30 10:28:16 PM
...he will have to get used to a cockatoo for awhile

That's what he gets for flying off the handle. He'll only be a jailbird for a few months, so it shouldn't be too hard to swallow. He'll just have to make some myna adjustments. He certainly won't be there long enough to go cuckoo.

/oh, stop groaning
//too lazy to work "booby," "tit," and "woodpecker" in
 
2013-09-30 10:30:15 PM

Lorelle: ...he will have to get used to a cockatoo for awhile

That's what he gets for flying off the handle. He'll only be a jailbird for a few months, so it shouldn't be too hard to swallow. He'll just have to make some myna adjustments. He certainly won't be there long enough to go cuckoo.

/oh, stop groaning
//too lazy to work "booby," "tit," and "woodpecker" in


He'll pay for his fowl deed
 
2013-09-30 10:48:05 PM
www.chicagotribune.com
 
2013-09-30 10:49:00 PM
I've had disagreements with pets before, but it's never even come close to that point.

What could the bird have said to send him off?

Was the bird being flippant?


/For the record.  You'll never win against a cat.
 
2013-09-30 10:57:06 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-30 10:59:56 PM
Yet hunting birds and eating chickens is fine. What a country!
 
2013-09-30 11:02:38 PM
I posted last week of observing this gangbanger attempting to kill this goose that bit his son.  I was with my son and couldn't believe it.  The mom pointed to a goose and said, "that lil mudder fugger did it!".  To a goose.  The family was feeding these ducks and geese, which is prohibited... but I've been known to do it in the past too.  But the way dad got all this machismo and reached for the bird mom pointed out.  WTF, dad?  Your son was spooked by a goose (son was fine, just scared), you don't go all cholo on a friggin bird.  He was seriously trying to grab it and wring its neck, in front of his kids, to teach the bird a lesson.
Fine parenting, that.
 
2013-09-30 11:02:41 PM
Interesting, and yet if I own a wind farm, I can kill as many eagles, hawks or owls as I want.  Google it moran.
 
2013-09-30 11:06:09 PM

Mean Daddy: Interesting, and yet if I own a wind farm, I can kill as many eagles, hawks or owls as I want.  Google it moran.


You probably don't do it by getting into an argument with someone, throwing the bird against a wall, then stabbing it though.
 
2013-09-30 11:07:47 PM
d3ny4pswk2x1ig.cloudfront.net
 
2013-09-30 11:09:42 PM

wild9: Mean Daddy: Interesting, and yet if I own a wind farm, I can kill as many eagles, hawks or owls as I want.  Google it moran.

You probably don't do it by getting into an argument with someone, throwing the bird against a wall, then stabbing it though.


I wouldn't bet on that.  Ol' Mean Daddy takes his wind farm as a free pass to do his free will against the avian class.  Probably still screams "Remember Benghazi", if you catch my drift.
 
2013-09-30 11:10:04 PM
It was his own bird?
 
2013-09-30 11:14:01 PM

baronbloodbath: [d3ny4pswk2x1ig.cloudfront.net image 274x274]


OH fark.  My mini schnauzer caught a dove a few weeks past.  Ripped its head off just like that.  The body was intact, and the exposed neck vertebrae was bouncing up and down as if the grim reaper was playing Yars Revenge on an Atari joystick.  When I picked it up, the wings flapped full force... and it had been decapitated a considerable amount of time.  Hundreds of tiny sugar ants were on the bloody "joystick".
 
2013-09-30 11:26:10 PM
cdn.static.ovimg.com

/he had it coming.
 
2013-09-30 11:30:51 PM
hoty front runner
 
2013-09-30 11:34:33 PM
wild9 ,
Mean Daddy: Interesting, and yet if I own a wind farm, I can kill as many eagles, hawks or owls as I want. Google it moran.
You probably don't do it by getting into an argument with someone, throwing the bird against a wall, then stabbing it though.


In my religion that is the clean way to kill an animal. It is called the Kohalal food.

Don't judge me and my personal faith and I I deal with god you judgmental jerk.
 
2013-09-30 11:34:45 PM
img.youtube.com
Any-cock-will-do!
 
2013-09-30 11:39:10 PM

tuna fingers: baronbloodbath: [d3ny4pswk2x1ig.cloudfront.net image 274x274]

OH fark.  My mini schnauzer caught a dove a few weeks past.  Ripped its head off just like that.  The body was intact, and the exposed neck vertebrae was bouncing up and down as if the grim reaper was playing Yars Revenge on an Atari joystick.  When I picked it up, the wings flapped full force... and it had been decapitated a considerable amount of time.  Hundreds of tiny sugar ants were on the bloody "joystick".


Wow, we have an awful pigeon problem here in Arizona. My mini schnauzer has never caught a bird but I've always wondered how he would react if he did, if his ratter instincts would kick in. He knows the word "squirrel" and goes BERZERK. "Crow" too. One of my schnauzers we had when I was a kid caught a little bunny and tore it open; he was so proud of himself. This schnauzer I have now though, you have given me ideas, tuna fingers. I will see what happen when I call those damn pigeons "crows" too and let my little guy loose on them. His name is Dexter, after all.
 
2013-09-30 11:39:52 PM
img.fark.net

Bravo, Subby. BRAV-O.
 
2013-09-30 11:49:55 PM
Danmitsomuch!!! On my phone or I would post a pic of the Palm Cockatoo that he'd (hopefully) be bunking with.
 
2013-09-30 11:53:15 PM
Was it a mockingbird or a dove?

/cause killing a mockingbird is fine, as long as you leave the doves alone
//I think I'm stretching that reference
 
2013-10-01 12:03:37 AM
Oddly enough, his hairstyle is reminiscent of a crested male bird.
 
2013-10-01 12:06:18 AM

harlock: HOTY candidate for sure.


Yes, by all means, celebrate a headlne that suggest a man will be violently beaten and raped by other men

Yeah!
Good Job

not worthy of slahies
 
2013-10-01 12:12:00 AM

snake_beater: Was it a mockingbird or a dove?

/cause killing a mockingbird is fine, as long as you leave the doves alone
//I think I'm stretching that reference


3.bp.blogspot.com

Thinks you're getting it completely wrong.
 
2013-10-01 12:17:12 AM

I_Am_Weasel: For the record. You'll never win against a cat.


You'd be surprised (apprently); cats are stupid farking animals given the right stimulus.

/just like any other animal
 
2013-10-01 12:21:18 AM
You win the internet for today submitter!
 
2013-10-01 12:29:29 AM
Here's Austin Tayshus doing that cockatoo joke in 1983 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EUpg9JLzzE
 
2013-10-01 12:31:27 AM
Poor bird. What a way to go.
 
2013-10-01 12:57:58 AM
Did he do it on a lark? It was probably just that bird's tern to die. I'm starling to think owl hear more about this in a later fark thread. Didn't RTFA but I bet the bird didn't go down without a flight. I bet it was a crow...... they're murder to deal with. When there's too many, ya gotta gull the herd.
 
2013-10-01 12:58:00 AM

Bob Down: Here's Austin Tayshus doing that cockatoo joke in 1983 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EUpg9JLzzE

~
Came here to post a pic of Austin Tayshus "approving" the headline.

Here's a pic of Bob Down[e] instead....

i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-01 01:44:27 AM
+1
 
2013-10-01 01:49:46 AM

DownDaRiver: harlock: HOTY candidate for sure.

Yes, by all means, celebrate a headlne that suggest a man will be violently beaten and raped by other men

Yeah!
Good Job

not worthy of slahies


It's this thing called humor.   Also, in real life, highly unlikely to happen during his meager county jail stint.

lightenupfrancis.jpg
 
2013-10-01 02:04:33 AM
So sad.  That poor bird will never be able to say:  "Stick a fork in me, I'm done"
 
2013-10-01 10:20:52 AM

Danger Avoid Death: snake_beater: Was it a mockingbird or a dove?

/cause killing a mockingbird is fine, as long as you leave the doves alone
//I think I'm stretching that reference

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 600x327]

Thinks you're getting it completely wrong.


Shoot, it was the other way around, wasn't it?
 
2013-10-01 09:52:00 PM

harlock: DownDaRiver: harlock: HOTY candidate for sure.

Yes, by all means, celebrate a headlne that suggest a man will be violently beaten and raped by other men

Yeah!
Good Job

not worthy of slahies

It's this thing called humor.   Also, in real life, highly unlikely to happen during his meager county jail stint.

lightenupfrancis.jpg


Because rape is never funny!

/unless you are raping a clown
//thought this was common knowledge
 
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