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(WTOP)   More and more coffee shops are having to invent policies for dealing with the cheap asshats who camp out all day for free WiFi but don't actually ever buy anything   (wtop.com) divider line 147
    More: Obvious, Wi-Fi, Elias Montilla  
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9040 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2013 at 1:33 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



147 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-30 01:23:11 PM
Not buying anything? GTFO.
And no, you may not use the restroom, either.

See how easy that was?
 
2013-09-30 01:26:55 PM

bearded clamorer: Not buying anything? GTFO.
And no, you may not use the restroom, either.

See how easy that was?


or go high tech. Require an access code to log on. Print log on code on receipts.


But I like your answer more.
 
2013-09-30 01:36:05 PM
Just throttle down the bandwitdth on every MAC address by 20% for each hour it has been connected in the last 24 hours.
 
2013-09-30 01:36:07 PM
See it all the time.

What they need to do is provide a login code with each receipt with $1 worth of purchase being equal to 15 minutes of time.  Get a $5 coffee?  That's an hour and fifteen minutes of Wifi.  Want more?  Buy another $5 coffee.
 
2013-09-30 01:38:02 PM
Just set a time limit and bandwidth cap on each mac address that resets every morning.  Problem solved.
 
2013-09-30 01:38:16 PM
Invent a policy? Can't they just turn off the farking router?
 
2013-09-30 01:38:27 PM
Move along, hipster, no one wants your smell in here all day......

/unless you're buying.....
 
2013-09-30 01:39:26 PM

CJHardin: Just set a time limit and bandwidth cap on each mac address that resets every morning.  Problem solved.


Well, they don't want people to not come in.  They just need to learn how to tie the Wifi usage to continual small purchases that justify their use of the Wifi.
 
2013-09-30 01:39:35 PM
Change the daily access code and print it on a receipt. Buy anything over $10 and get access to free wifi.
 
2013-09-30 01:39:55 PM
Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business
 
2013-09-30 01:41:02 PM
With smartphones and mobile devices facilitating mobile offices, some customers take root in coffee shops and gobble up bandwith, without buying drink or food.

Thanks Obama.
 
2013-09-30 01:41:03 PM
I often see signs that say "Restrooms are for customers only" or some variation thereof. Change the word "restrooms" to the word "Wi Fi". How hard is that? I gotta think of everything...
 
2013-09-30 01:42:01 PM

Infernalist: See it all the time.

What they need to do is provide a login code with each receipt with $1 worth of purchase being equal to 15 minutes of time.  Get a $5 coffee?  That's an hour and fifteen minutes of Wifi.  Want more?  Buy another $5 coffee.


I know several places that do just that. The codes are printed on all receipts whether you want to use wi-fi or not. Codes are usually good for 6-ish hours.
 
2013-09-30 01:43:12 PM
"There were lots of people that would come in - if you were lucky they would maybe order a large coffee but sometimes they would just demand water - and sit there for hours," according to Jane Shihadeh, the former owner of Shoes.


I thought the headline was exaggerating, but there it is.
 
2013-09-30 01:43:58 PM

ElLoco: Infernalist: See it all the time.

What they need to do is provide a login code with each receipt with $1 worth of purchase being equal to 15 minutes of time.  Get a $5 coffee?  That's an hour and fifteen minutes of Wifi.  Want more?  Buy another $5 coffee.

I know several places that do just that. The codes are printed on all receipts whether you want to use wi-fi or not. Codes are usually good for 6-ish hours.


It's the most rational solution.  They don't mind people using their Wifi, they just want to get something out of it.  Most of the people using their Wifi are going to be chain-drinking those lattes anyways, so this method only excludes the freeloaders who don't buy anything and still use the Wifi.
 
2013-09-30 01:44:07 PM

sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.


You obviously are not a true porn aficionado.
 
2013-09-30 01:45:39 PM

sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business


agreed. To a point.  Most people will do there thing and move on. However you will always have the people that will torrent from local businesses.  Worse is the people who live close to the locations and use it as home wi-fi.
 
2013-09-30 01:46:13 PM
It will only take a few times of a manager loudly calling out a "water sipper" a few times to weed out the squatters.
"You're a WHAT?! A customer? No, you've had 4 glasses of free water, sat here taking up space and have been streaming video for the last hour. We are a business. Businesses offer perks for their PAYING customers. Now what do you want to be?"
 
2013-09-30 01:46:25 PM
If I sit in a coffee shop all day with a laptop I make sure to buy something every hour or so.  By about 3pm I am peeing like a racehorse and my hands are shaking like a Fox.  Am I doing it wrong?
 
2013-09-30 01:49:43 PM

sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business


Granted, but I can see business owners wanting the tables for people who are actually, y'know, buying stuff.  I'm probably not the only person who will turn around and drive out of the parking lot if I see the inside is too crowded.

But then, I would feel bad if I sucked up wi-fi without buying anything, or even if I stayed past the time it took me to consume my coffelike beverage in order to use their wi-fi.
 
2013-09-30 01:50:09 PM

basemetal: Move along, hipster, no one wants your smell in here all day......

/unless you're buying.....


Unless of course the place is designed for Hipsters. http://www.trystdc.com/ (one of the venues mentioned in the story) The whole front page makes me want to punch the person who designed it.
 
2013-09-30 01:51:36 PM

Grave_Girl: sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business

Granted, but I can see business owners wanting the tables for people who are actually, y'know, buying stuff.  I'm probably not the only person who will turn around and drive out of the parking lot if I see the inside is too crowded.

But then, I would feel bad if I sucked up wi-fi without buying anything, or even if I stayed past the time it took me to consume my coffelike beverage in order to use their wi-fi.


I'll go and camp out at a Starbucks for a few hours and sample their stuff and surf the net and do some people-watching...

I'll always buy something at least once an hour that comes to at least $5.  You don't abuse good perks and expect them to last.
 
2013-09-30 01:51:55 PM
There's a Starbuck in the Newbury/Boylston St. area that has an access code printed on the receipt that will gain you access to their restroom.
 
2013-09-30 01:52:12 PM

TheWhoppah: If I sit in a coffee shop all day with a laptop I make sure to buy something every hour or so.  By about 3pm I am peeing like a racehorse and my hands are shaking like a Fox.  Am I doing it wrong?


Yes, you want to be peeing like a fox and have your hands shaking like a racehorse.

/am I doing it wrong?
 
2013-09-30 01:52:26 PM

SeedFreak: Change the daily access code and print it on a receipt. Buy anything over $10 and get access to free wifi.



FTFY.
 
2013-09-30 01:53:18 PM
I remember, back in the day before wifi, this was a "problem", but with people hanging out playing chess or reading a book.  Except, back then, it was worse, because the owner had to walk uphill both ways if s/he wanted to confront the customer.
 
2013-09-30 01:53:27 PM

CJHardin: Just set a time limit and bandwidth cap on each mac address that resets every morning.  Problem solved.


That requires someone with network skills at the coffee shop.  Or a turnkey solution from a wi-fi router vendor that some high school kid can figure out.
 
2013-09-30 01:53:27 PM

TheWhoppah: If I sit in a coffee shop all day with a laptop I make sure to buy something every hour or so.  By about 3pm I am peeing like a racehorse and my hands are shaking like a Fox.  Am I doing it wrong?


Well, for one, you're sitting in a coffee shop all day. If you are studying for school or something, public libraries would better meet your needs. If you're working, just suck it up and go to the office. If you're from out of town, use your hotel's WiFi instead.
 
2013-09-30 01:55:17 PM
Before I encrypted it, cops used to sit outside my house in their cars and steal my wifi.
I'd shut if off and they would drive away.
 
2013-09-30 01:55:34 PM

nickerj1: TheWhoppah: If I sit in a coffee shop all day with a laptop I make sure to buy something every hour or so.  By about 3pm I am peeing like a racehorse and my hands are shaking like a Fox.  Am I doing it wrong?

Yes, you want to be peeing like a fox and have your hands shaking like a racehorse.

/am I doing it wrong?


Always fun to clean up after the shaky ones.
 
2013-09-30 01:55:41 PM
What the fark happened to "if you build it",,,
 
2013-09-30 01:55:53 PM
FTFA:
"Being able to get away from your office or home routine and find a place where you can concentrate without your coworkers or kids interrupting is priceless," says Elias Montilla, general manager of Tryst in Adams Morgan.

"We offer no WiFi on weekends," says Montilla.
"We believe that you have the right to let your hair down and relax, get to meet new people, and chat with your friends," says Montilla.


As a former denizen of the Adams Morgan neighborhood (Lived on Ontario Rd. NW between Euclid and Kalorama, the rent was cheap) I'd rather Tryst believe in the right of the customer to get a farking cup of coffee in under a half hour without a healthy side of snarkiness from the aloof and generally bored looking cashiers/baristas.

It'd also help if the enforced their policies and kicked out the bastidges who take up a huge table for their laptop and a million separate pieces of paper even though they aren't buying anything.

Fark Tryst, you can get the exact same coffee/chai/whatever across the Duke Ellington without the heaps of hipsters at Open City (same restaurant group) and don't have to contend with nearly as much snarkiness. Though the hostesses on the weekend leave a lot to be desired.
 
2013-09-30 01:56:16 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Before I encrypted it, cops used to sit outside my house in their cars and steal my wifi.
I'd shut if off and they would drive away.


What?!  Why didn't you didn't video tape that shiat and post it to youtube?!
 
2013-09-30 01:59:27 PM

Lucky LaRue: HotIgneous Intruder: Before I encrypted it, cops used to sit outside my house in their cars and steal my wifi.
I'd shut if off and they would drive away.

What?!  Why didn't you didn't video tape that shiat and post it to youtube?!

Or at least re-name your network: watchingcopsontheweb

 
2013-09-30 02:00:18 PM

sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business


Yea, you are a shiatty coffee shop if this is a problem for you. I have never had any business say to me "If you aren't going to buy anything- GET OUT!"
 
2013-09-30 02:01:28 PM
CSB
A couple of years ago, I was working in St Paul, MN.
Happened to answer the phone one day.
It was a researcher for City, wanting to know how important it was that the City was installing WiFi for the downtown area.
I glanced out the window and watched a woman break her ankle stepping in a hole in broken, uneven, heaved sidewalk.
The researcher got an answer, but I did threadjack it.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-30 02:02:27 PM
I have done installs for friends with businesses that give you a code for WiFi good for 1 hour per $5 spent.
No muss, no fuss. The code drops dead at the proper time and the WAP's only serve up the captive portal page after that.

There is also a barcode that let's you in to the restrooms.
Never seems to be a problem, and everyone plays by the rules.
 
2013-09-30 02:02:34 PM
With smartphones and mobile devices facilitating mobile offices, some customers take root in coffee shops and gobble up bandwith, without buying drink or food.

If they're not buying anything, then they're not customers.  GTFO.
 
2013-09-30 02:04:31 PM

spidermilk: sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business

Yea, you are a shiatty coffee shop if this is a problem for you. I have never had any business say to me "If you aren't going to buy anything- GET OUT!"


Are you in the habit of freeloading in restaurants and such?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-30 02:05:02 PM

Pinner: Lucky LaRue: HotIgneous Intruder: Before I encrypted it, cops used to sit outside my house in their cars and steal my wifi.
I'd shut if off and they would drive away.

What?!  Why didn't you didn't video tape that shiat and post it to youtube?!

Or at least re-name your network: watchingcopsontheweb


Slacker! I would have dropped rootkits on them.
 
2013-09-30 02:05:18 PM

sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business


That, and your average barista has no interest in being a bouncer, and isn't paid enough for that task.  It's bad enough dealing with people who are super-fussy about their elaborate beverages without having to confront table squatters.
 
2013-09-30 02:07:04 PM

Raoul Eaton: sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business

That, and your average barista has no interest in being a bouncer, and isn't paid enough for that task.  It's bad enough dealing with people who are super-fussy about their elaborate beverages without having to confront table squatters.


If they're not getting free wifi, they'll leave and try some other place.  Freeloaders are like that.
 
2013-09-30 02:07:17 PM
They are not a bunch of freeloaders, it's just called Bethesda, MD. And Georgetown, and Chevy Chase, and.....
 
2013-09-30 02:08:19 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Before I encrypted it, cops used to sit outside my house in their cars and steal my wifi.
I'd shut if off and they would drive away.


Before everyone got all security conscious, when I was on the road I'd drive through a neighborhood with my laptop open looking for wifi.  When I found one unsecured, I'd pull over and check my email n stuff.  Never did anything malicious.
 
2013-09-30 02:11:07 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Before I encrypted it, cops used to sit outside my house in their cars and steal my wifi.
I'd shut if off and they would drive away.


You should have spoofed their MAC and started torrenting kiddie porn, then unspoofed their MAC.  But then logged everything on the network (except the spoofing and unspoofing) and taken video footage synced to your network logs.

Then called it in.
 
2013-09-30 02:11:47 PM

bucket_pup: They are not a bunch of freeloaders, it's just called Bethesda, MD. And Georgetown, and Chevy Chase, and.....


I don't care where they're from or where it's at.  If you're soaking up a company's bandwidth and you're not paying for something while doing so, you're a freeloader.
 
2013-09-30 02:13:03 PM

Grave_Girl: sir_oswaldo: Last time I checked bandwidth isn't a scare resource.

Offer these people coupons for being in your coffee shop, they'll buy.

It's probably never a good policy to chase people out of your business

Granted, but I can see business owners wanting the tables for people who are actually, y'know, buying stuff.  I'm probably not the only person who will turn around and drive out of the parking lot if I see the inside is too crowded.

But then, I would feel bad if I sucked up wi-fi without buying anything, or even if I stayed past the time it took me to consume my coffelike beverage in order to use their wi-fi.


I don't even use the restroom somewhere without buying a drink or a cookie or something.

/Manners, people, manners.
 
2013-09-30 02:14:24 PM

bearded clamorer: Not buying anything? GTFO.
And no, you may not use the restroom, either.

See how easy that was?


Cover charge.  You walk in, it's five dollars.  Stay more than 90 mins, another $10 dollars
 
2013-09-30 02:14:52 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: I often see signs that say "Restrooms are for customers only" or some variation thereof. Change the word "restrooms" to the word "Wi Fi". How hard is that? I gotta think of everything...


Then you get people peeing on  your router.
 
2013-09-30 02:15:17 PM

cgraves67: TheWhoppah: If I sit in a coffee shop all day with a laptop I make sure to buy something every hour or so.  By about 3pm I am peeing like a racehorse and my hands are shaking like a Fox.  Am I doing it wrong?

Well, for one, you're sitting in a coffee shop all day. If you are studying for school or something, public libraries would better meet your needs. If you're working, just suck it up and go to the office. If you're from out of town, use your hotel's WiFi instead.



Actually, I work from home but sometimes its just too quiet or maybe I just get lonely.  I try to buy something every hour and leave a decent tip for each transaction so I don't seem like a mooch.  It runs $40 - $50 by the end of the day.
 
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