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(Fox News)   One year in a NYC prison costs almost as much as a whole Ivy League education. So let's just send them all to Harvard instead because BEST REALITY SHOW EVAR   (foxnews.com) divider line 61
    More: Interesting, BEST REALITY SHOW EVAR, Ivy League, fixed costs, Rikers Island, LaGuardia Airport  
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3464 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2013 at 7:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-30 07:30:00 AM  
Using announcer voice from COPS: TODAY ON HARVARD, MAXIMUM EDUCATIONAL FACILITY, THE WORST MEMBERS OF SOCIETY ALL IN ONCE PLACE
 
2013-09-30 07:36:01 AM  
8th Amendment violation, clearly.
 
2013-09-30 07:36:13 AM  
A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.
 
2013-09-30 07:37:48 AM  
So someone could go from making meth to getting a degree in chemistry? Is this the anti-Walt?
 
2013-09-30 07:37:53 AM  
Bad boys, bad boys wattchu gonna do? Wattchu gonna do when you're sent to school..

*repeat chorus*
 
2013-09-30 07:38:52 AM  
Worth every penny.
 
2013-09-30 07:39:09 AM  
On the scale of roommate crazy a meth addict and killer isn't that bad
 
2013-09-30 07:39:45 AM  
If the criminals were intelligent, they'd already be in an Ivy League school and they'd be getting their business degree.
 
2013-09-30 07:43:12 AM  
Ivy League Lockdown: Hard Time at Harvard
 
2013-09-30 07:51:08 AM  
I thought we were promised a cost reduction when they walled off Manhattan back in the 90s.
 
2013-09-30 07:55:58 AM  

The Muthaship: 8th Amendment violation, clearly.


Now I have to look it up, you #%$*, better be funny.
 
2013-09-30 07:56:40 AM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: The Muthaship: 8th Amendment violation, clearly.

Now I have to look it up, you #%$*, better be funny.


Mine wasn't, but yours is!
 
2013-09-30 07:58:50 AM  
Criminal masterminds are made, not born.
 
2013-09-30 08:06:20 AM  

Cheron: On the scale of roommate crazy a meth addict and killer isn't that bad


i18.photobucket.com
Perhaps.
 
2013-09-30 08:10:26 AM  
Say - did the gang at Faux News propose any sort of "final solution" to this problem?
 
2013-09-30 08:26:11 AM  
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.
 
2013-09-30 08:27:19 AM  
I like Norway's approach, where they basically move the inmates to an island and treat them like human beings with problems, and work with the inmates to  solve those problems. Our prison system treats inmates like caged animals. Is it any surprise that they act like animals?

//Cue the dogwhistle: "Scandinavian countries can get away with that because they're more  homogeneous."
 
2013-09-30 08:46:10 AM  
I think that, in general, we're putting too many people in prison and we're keeping them there too long.  I wish we had a system that truly focused on using the time in prison to give the inmates a real chance at a life outside of the cycle they are in that lands them in jail.

But I read that article and the biggest take-home I get is that we must be wasting huge amounts of money in our prison systems.  Because you should be able to pay an inmates "room and board" (How much should rent on a cell and three meals a day cost in bulk) plus have a tiny ratio of inmates to guards for the kind of money they're talking about.  And I bet , despite all that money, that the prison is still a crap-hole.
 
2013-09-30 08:51:32 AM  

t3knomanser: homogeneous


Which is why my solution is to serve more milk in prisons.
 
2013-09-30 09:01:19 AM  
Even if Harvard were free, most people wouldn't take advantage of it because studyin be hard & sellin out aint right.
 
2013-09-30 09:04:42 AM  

legion_of_doo: Even if Harvard were free, most people wouldn't take advantage of it because studyin be hard & sellin out aint right.


You uses werds purty
 
2013-09-30 09:07:27 AM  
Just give the inmates $400/day and let them go. See what happens. Make a reality show.
 
2013-09-30 09:11:18 AM  
God Bless the USA. We're willing to spend more on punishing people than helping them. Good Christian values.

legion_of_doo: Even if Harvard were free, most people wouldn't take advantage of it because studyin be hard & sellin out aint right.


That explains all our empty universities and the enormous amount of people that get turned down by Ivy league schools.
 
2013-09-30 09:20:12 AM  
Hey guys. What's goin' on in this thread?

ionetheurbandaily.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-30 09:20:55 AM  

legion_of_doo: Even if Harvard were free, most people wouldn't take advantage of it because studyin be hard & sellin out aint right.


Harvard is free, if your family make less than 65,000.00 they consider you poor and you qualify for a full scholarship.
 
2013-09-30 09:22:23 AM  

SpankMeJohnny: A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.


i agree. we should simply execute the entire prison population. it would be much cheaper. in fact, we could scrap the entire legal side of the criminal justice system and have the police execute people they stop, regardless of the offense. so whether you've been caught jaywalking or murdering your wife, you get a bullet to the head.

simple. effective. clean. ok, well not so clean, literally, but you know what i mean.
 
2013-09-30 09:27:29 AM  

FlashHarry: SpankMeJohnny: A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.

i agree. we should simply execute the entire prison population. it would be much cheaper. in fact, we could scrap the entire legal side of the criminal justice system and have the police execute people they stop, regardless of the offense. so whether you've been caught jaywalking or murdering your wife, you get a bullet to the head.

simple. effective. clean. ok, well not so clean, literally, but you know what i mean.


That would be Dredd-full
 
2013-09-30 09:40:37 AM  

SpankMeJohnny: A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.


fark you sideways.
 
2013-09-30 09:40:45 AM  
TeaParty, shut down public education, build more prisons.
 
2013-09-30 09:44:15 AM  
Ahh yes, the fark thread about prison costs and population, the one where everyone complains about us putting people in jail for idiotic reasons... to be followed by the thread about some jackass committing petty crime where it will be advocated that he and his entire family be sentenced to prison for decades.
 
2013-09-30 09:47:57 AM  

FlashHarry: SpankMeJohnny: A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.

i agree. we should simply execute the entire prison population. it would be much cheaper. in fact, we could scrap the entire legal side of the criminal justice system and have the police execute people they stop, regardless of the offense. so whether you've been caught jaywalking or murdering your wife, you get a bullet to the head.

simple. effective. clean. ok, well not so clean, literally, but you know what i mean.


Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue
 
2013-09-30 09:52:57 AM  

Cheron: Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue


a fair point. perhaps stunned and then poisoned. i do agree that their organs should be harvested for the use of the living. especially the young ones caught shoplifting or skipping school.
 
2013-09-30 09:56:04 AM  

FlashHarry: Cheron: Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue

a fair point. perhaps stunned and then poisoned. i do agree that their organs should be harvested for the use of the living. especially the young ones caught shoplifting or skipping school.


Oh yeah.  Let me know when a good set of sturdy 20 year old knees comes up for sale.
 
2013-09-30 10:10:09 AM  
No no. You see, the tax money spent on prisoners goes to private corporations. Hell will freeze over before they hand that kind of money over to the taxpayers themselves to better their lives with.
 
2013-09-30 10:22:14 AM  
Hold the phone... You mean to tell me that it costs more to run a facility in which you have to make sure nobody can leave, and provide for their needs so they don't die on you, than it does to run a facility in which the people can walk out any time they want to, and you don't have to provide for their needs? Well you could just knock me over with a feather right now.
 
2013-09-30 10:23:05 AM  

J. Frank Parnell: No no. You see, the tax money spent on prisoners goes to private corporations. Hell will freeze over before they hand that kind of money over to the taxpayers themselves to better their lives with.


No it doesn't. Less than 10 percent of U.S. prisons are privatized.
 
2013-09-30 10:40:03 AM  
86% of the cost is going to the union members. Not shocked.
 
2013-09-30 10:51:22 AM  
Waiting a year before trial ...

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial ...

We apparently need to put an actual time limit on these things. If the civil authorities can't get their shiat together after a certain number of days, you're off the hook and they pay a fine for inconveniencing you. Imagine how much that would reduce the amount of frivolous arrests.

*googles*

Apparently there is already a test in place, and anything under a year is considered speedy. Needs to be shortened to a month. A year is just ridiculous.
 
2013-09-30 10:52:46 AM  

fireclown: FlashHarry: Cheron: Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue

a fair point. perhaps stunned and then poisoned. i do agree that their organs should be harvested for the use of the living. especially the young ones caught shoplifting or skipping school.

Oh yeah.  Let me know when a good set of sturdy 20 year old knees comes up for sale.


Mmmmm... organlegging.... Somewhere, Larry Niven nods knowingly.
 
2013-09-30 10:54:12 AM  
Harvard would never let them in. They're not Jewish.
 
2013-09-30 10:54:36 AM  

MayoSlather: God Bless the USA. We're willing to spend more on punishing people than helping them. Good Christian values.

legion_of_doo: Even if Harvard were free, most people wouldn't take advantage of it because studyin be hard & sellin out aint right.

That explains all our empty universities and the enormous amount of people that get turned down by Ivy league schools.


Prison or college - either way, the rich are making money on the backs of the ambitious. It's a great system.
 
2013-09-30 11:00:05 AM  
"No, Jack, you aren't supposed to bring your own Skull-and-Bones."
 
2013-09-30 11:09:30 AM  

FlashHarry: Cheron: Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue

a fair point. perhaps stunned and then poisoned. i do agree that their organs should be harvested for the use of the living. especially the young ones caught shoplifting or skipping school.



Well hang on a second there, I don't want any negroid organs in me!
Probably gonna make me turn black like that Korean war documentary I saw:
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-30 11:41:02 AM  
It's all about making Big Jim McBob feel better. Knowing that someone is being educated in evil secular knowledge at Princeton makes Big Jim unhappy. Knowing that someone is locked up for petty theft makes Big Jim happy. Knowing that Big Jim is happy makes Fox News happy.
 
2013-09-30 12:00:44 PM  

SpankMeJohnny: A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.


Oh Johnny, you are one seriously bad motherfarker.  Like Stalin. Except Stalin would have billed the family for the cost of the bullet.  Food for thought, eh?

You are also a bad motherfarker who, based on the $0.50 estimate, is spending way too much on ammo.
 
2013-09-30 12:00:54 PM  
I thought Foxnews was all for the prison industrial complex.
 
2013-09-30 12:13:50 PM  

Cheron: FlashHarry: SpankMeJohnny: A 9mm bullet cost about $.50.  Problem solved.

i agree. we should simply execute the entire prison population. it would be much cheaper. in fact, we could scrap the entire legal side of the criminal justice system and have the police execute people they stop, regardless of the offense. so whether you've been caught jaywalking or murdering your wife, you get a bullet to the head.

simple. effective. clean. ok, well not so clean, literally, but you know what i mean.

Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue


And then we turn the rest of the carcass into soylent green. Brilliant!

Seriously, the US has way too many people in prison. It's pretty farked up. It's probably a safe assumption that most people who go to prison are royally farked for the rest of their lives. Maybe y'all should be trying to fix this.
 
2013-09-30 12:15:51 PM  
Better yet, get the cost per inmate per year down to about $50. Better yet, liberal application of the death penalty. And not the expensive bullshiat kind. I'm talking the kind where the judge shoots the farker right there after the verdict is read.
 
kgf
2013-09-30 12:15:53 PM  
Costs less to send them to Penn State than to the state pen.
 
2013-09-30 12:23:30 PM  
I would totally watch that.
 
2013-09-30 12:44:39 PM  

jso2897: Say - did the gang at Faux News propose any sort of "final solution" to this problem?


No "final solutions" are a socialist thing.
 
2013-09-30 01:10:56 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If the criminals were intelligent, they'd already be in an Ivy League school and they'd be getting

their business degree.

So true, four years is a small price to pay for getting sent to white-collar jail when you commit crimes.
 
2013-09-30 01:11:25 PM  
"Executions for college funds" reality show.

Wanna be Ivy League farks execute worthless prisoners in exchange for an Ivy Leauge education!

Previously on Executions:
Barbara the bare handed killer executed Stan the rapist.
Kevin "stabin" Mensa executed Rudy the pothead.

Because incarceration is now way to waste taxes!
 
2013-09-30 01:14:07 PM  

purdeyisa10: TeaParty, shut down public education, build more prisons.


I thought the public schools were prisons...
 
2013-09-30 01:32:24 PM  

kgf: Costs less to send them to Penn State than to the state pen.


Yes, but only one of them protects their cornholes.
 
2013-09-30 01:38:52 PM  

FlashHarry: Cheron: Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue

a fair point. perhaps stunned and then poisoned. i do agree that their organs should be harvested for the use of the living. especially the young ones caught shoplifting or skipping school.


You can't reuse the parts if you poison them.
 
2013-09-30 01:49:11 PM  
I love how the article starts out by trying to blame the high rate of spending on the Rikers Island facility, but then halfway through the article you get this gem: "The DOC says 86 percent of its operating costs go for staff wages."

Then two paragraphs later: "Nick Freudenberg, a public health professor at Hunter College, said the latest city figures show that declining incarceration rates haven't translated into cost savings."
Well, if you aren't reducing your staff (you know, the 86% of your costs) at a rate proportional to the reduction in inmates, then you aren't going to see much of an impact on your operating costs.

FTA: "The city's Independent Budget Office annual figure of $167,731 - which equates to about $460 per day for the 12,287 average daily New York City inmates last year - was based on about $2 billion in total operating expenses..."
"But there are particularly expensive costs associated with Rikers.
The department says it spends $30.3 million annually alone on transportation costs, running three bus services that usher inmates to and from court throughout the five boroughs, staff from a central parking lot to Rikers jails and visitors to and around the island. There were 261,158 inmates delivered to court last year.
A way to bring down the costs, Horn has long said, would be to replace Rikers Island with more robust jails next door to courthouses.
"

So his brilliant plan is to build a bunch of new jails in order to reduce a portion of the budget that accounts for a whopping 1.5% of overall operating costs? I can only wonder which local general contractor gave him that idea.........
 
2013-09-30 01:49:58 PM  

ornithopter: FlashHarry: Cheron: Barbaric.  If someone offends against society they should repay society by being humanly killed and broken up for parts.  A bullet waist useful tissue

a fair point. perhaps stunned and then poisoned. i do agree that their organs should be harvested for the use of the living. especially the young ones caught shoplifting or skipping school.

You can't reuse the parts if you poison them.


halal exsanguination?
 
2013-09-30 04:37:03 PM  
Meh. They already tried this at Stanford.

/Zimbardo ftw!
 
2013-09-30 05:23:41 PM  
In a perfect world, prisoners should pay for my rent/mortgage, food, utility services, tv, internet, gym, membership, health care .... etc.

Not the other way around, .... this makes no sense!!!!

Norwegian model seems a good step that way, send them to work, tax 'em 100%

Only send them to work 16 hours a day, 365 days per year.


When their time is served, let 'em keep the job and find them an apartment.
And reduce the work schedule ;)
 
2013-10-01 12:13:25 AM  
Wait wait wait...it's not okay to make a post suggesting we kill violent criminals on primetime TV for a reality show I'd actually watch, but it's okay to make a headline suggesting we turn them loose on college campuses and watch the fallout as good primetime reality TV?

Your lessons are confusing, mods. :(
 
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