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(Fox News)   Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit hair under wings for cushioning impact   (foxnews.com) divider line 27
    More: Scary, Alitalia, Madrid, pilot report, operations room  
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6830 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2013 at 8:14 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-30 07:54:40 AM
Heh.  And that's almost accurate, too, if you remove just a single letter:

Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit air under wings for cushioning impact

It's called "ground effect".
 
2013-09-30 08:16:32 AM
Mamma mia!!!
 
2013-09-30 08:25:04 AM

dittybopper: Heh.  And that's almost accurate, too, if you remove just a single letter:

Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit air under wings for cushioning impact

It's called "ground effect".


api.ning.com
 
2013-09-30 08:26:14 AM

dittybopper: Heh.  And that's almost accurate, too, if you remove just a single letter:

Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit air under wings for cushioning impact

It's called "ground effect".


Farking puns, how do they work?
 
2013-09-30 08:30:00 AM
Eh cumpari!

/what i think of every time i hear of Alitalia Airlines
 
2013-09-30 08:32:08 AM
Hell, my aircraft always winds up on its side after landing. Be hard to pack it up if it didn't.
 
2013-09-30 08:32:32 AM
I took an Alitalia flight from Rome to Naples. When we landed, we stopped on the tarmac and began to disembark (no jetway, just stairs down to the tarmac and onto busses to get into the airport). You could get out the front stairs or the rear stairs, and since i was right in the middle, i would be the last to get off and could go either way. As i waited, i looked out the window ans saw the plane surrounded by at least half a dozen police cars, each containing several cops with full body armor and machine guns. As i finally made my way to the rear stairs, i passed by 5 guys sitting in the last 2 rows; 3 of them were in handcuffs, leg-irons and chained together. The other two had drawn handguns and stared me down with icy cold expressions. As i went down the stairs and i finally saw the paddy wagon (surrounded by more cops with machine guns), I finally realised that I just flew Italy's version of Con Air.

/CSB
 
2013-09-30 08:41:54 AM
Tyop Strikes Again.
 
2013-09-30 08:45:11 AM

aremmes: dittybopper: Heh.  And that's almost accurate, too, if you remove just a single letter:

Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit air under wings for cushioning impact

It's called "ground effect".

Farking puns, how do they work?


Not everyone knows about ground effect.

Also, Ipswich.
 
2013-09-30 09:47:35 AM
So a fairly normal landing for Italian pilots then?

Did the passengers applaud?
 
2013-09-30 10:01:07 AM
Article is worthless without video.

Charles.
 
2013-09-30 10:06:08 AM

ChopperCharles: Article is worthless without video.

Charles.


seriously, who signs their Fark Posts?

/I'm Kit Fister and I approve this message.
 
2013-09-30 10:15:15 AM
I think subby has italians confused with the french on the hair part.
 
2013-09-30 10:24:00 AM
Thanks for the visual... not!  Well done Subby.
 
2013-09-30 10:25:33 AM
seriously, who signs their Fark Posts?

Charles.

TheSwissNavy.
 
2013-09-30 10:34:41 AM

Kit Fister: seriously, who signs their Fark Posts?


Smidge204. But he's not consistent about it.
 
2013-09-30 10:38:02 AM
They were also out of coffee.
 
2013-09-30 10:43:46 AM

brantgoose: So a fairly normal landing for Italian pilots then?

Did the passengers applaud?


Yes, right before picking the pocket of the person to their left and groping the person to their right.
 
2013-09-30 10:44:15 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Kit Fister: seriously, who signs their Fark Posts?

Smidge204. But he's not consistent about it.


That. Also, sorry about calling you an asshole last night. I figured out where you were coming from, my bad.
 
2013-09-30 10:46:32 AM
They knew there was going to be trouble and no one broke out a camera. Fark 'em with a novelty dong.
 
2013-09-30 10:57:33 AM

phrawgh: dittybopper: Heh.  And that's almost accurate, too, if you remove just a single letter:

Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit air under wings for cushioning impact

It's called "ground effect".

[api.ning.com image 793x445]


The soviets were somewhat insane, weren't they?
 
2013-09-30 11:11:55 AM
Did they have a future Disney artist on board, furiously drawing cartoon wheels, and BELIEVING?
 
2013-09-30 11:38:51 AM
"Welcome to Alitalia Airlines. This is your captain speaking, Garibaldi Mangiapane. We're having trouble with the right engine, but it's nothing to worry about. Just like to let everybody know. In the meantime, have a glass of wine, and maybe some pizza; we're going to get back to you in just a little bit."

Well about forty minutes later, the voice came over the intercom. It was saying again, "Hello, this is your captain, Garibaldi Mangiapane once again. We're still having trouble with the right engine. Just for precaution, we'd like to ask everybody who knows how to swim, you should go on the right side of the airplane. And everybody who does not know how to swim, I think it's better you go on the left side of the airplane. That's just for precaution; it's nothing to worry about."

Well about five minutes later, the voice come over the intercom was saying again, "Uh oh! April Day! April Day!" I guess he meant to say "mayday," but in Cropani that's the way they talk. He says, "It looks like we're gonna have to make a splashdown landing on the water. We're about five hundred feet above the water. Soon as we hit the water, everybody who knows how to swim, it's better you go right to the exit sign, and swim straight ahead. You got nothing to worry about, because we's less than a mile from shore. And everybody on the left side of the airplane who does not know how to swim, we say to you, thanks a lot for flying Alitalia Airlines."
 
2013-09-30 12:02:58 PM

cptjeff: phrawgh: dittybopper: Heh.  And that's almost accurate, too, if you remove just a single letter:

Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit air under wings for cushioning impact

It's called "ground effect".

[api.ning.com image 793x445]

The soviets were somewhat insane, weren't they?


Actually, it made a lot of sense.  Faster than a naval ship, but lower and higher carrying capacity than a regular aircraft.

What killed the idea was carrier-borne airborne early warning aircraft.

The idea behind it was that it would dash in to missile range, launch, and dash out, before the ships could mount an effective response.  With conventional WWII-style naval ships and aircraft, that would be quite possible.  But when you can put your radar warning aircraft up 20,000 feet, and have them a 100 miles away from your ship along the likely threat axis, that increases your radar warning to such an extent that you could deal with them before they could launch.

Radio horizon is 1.4*sqrt(height in feet) = miles.  So for a radar antenna on a ship that's 200 feet off the surface, looking at something 80 feet in height, that's a maximum range of
(1.4*sqrt(200)) + (1.4*sqrt(80))  = ~32 miles.

If you've got a radar warning aircraft at 20,000 feet looking for something that's 200 feet tall, maximum range is going to be (1.4*sqrt(20000)) + (1.4*sqrt(80)) = ~210 miles.  If it's 100 miles away from the ship in the same direction as the threat, that's 310 miles.

At 400 mph, that's a difference in warning of about 3.5 minutes for the ship-borne radar, and almost 47 minutes for airborne early warning.
 
2013-09-30 12:47:59 PM

jimpoz: "Welcome to Alitalia Airlines. This is your captain speaking, Garibaldi Mangiapane. We're having trouble with the right engine, but it's nothing to worry about. Just like to let everybody know. In the meantime, have a glass of wine, and maybe some pizza; we're going to get back to you in just a little bit."

Well about forty minutes later, the voice came over the intercom. It was saying again, "Hello, this is your captain, Garibaldi Mangiapane once again. We're still having trouble with the right engine. Just for precaution, we'd like to ask everybody who knows how to swim, you should go on the right side of the airplane. And everybody who does not know how to swim, I think it's better you go on the left side of the airplane. That's just for precaution; it's nothing to worry about."

Well about five minutes later, the voice come over the intercom was saying again, "Uh oh! April Day! April Day!" I guess he meant to say "mayday," but in Cropani that's the way they talk. He says, "It looks like we're gonna have to make a splashdown landing on the water. We're about five hundred feet above the water. Soon as we hit the water, everybody who knows how to swim, it's better you go right to the exit sign, and swim straight ahead. You got nothing to worry about, because we's less than a mile from shore. And everybody on the left side of the airplane who does not know how to swim, we say to you, thanks a lot for flying Alitalia Airlines."


dafuq?

Was this supposed to make any sense or be humorous?
 
2013-09-30 12:51:48 PM

tripleseven: jimpoz: "Welcome to Alitalia Airlines. This is your captain speaking, Garibaldi Mangiapane. We're having trouble with the right engine, but it's nothing to worry about. Just like to let everybody know. In the meantime, have a glass of wine, and maybe some pizza; we're going to get back to you in just a little bit."

Well about forty minutes later, the voice came over the intercom. It was saying again, "Hello, this is your captain, Garibaldi Mangiapane once again. We're still having trouble with the right engine. Just for precaution, we'd like to ask everybody who knows how to swim, you should go on the right side of the airplane. And everybody who does not know how to swim, I think it's better you go on the left side of the airplane. That's just for precaution; it's nothing to worry about."

Well about five minutes later, the voice come over the intercom was saying again, "Uh oh! April Day! April Day!" I guess he meant to say "mayday," but in Cropani that's the way they talk. He says, "It looks like we're gonna have to make a splashdown landing on the water. We're about five hundred feet above the water. Soon as we hit the water, everybody who knows how to swim, it's better you go right to the exit sign, and swim straight ahead. You got nothing to worry about, because we's less than a mile from shore. And everybody on the left side of the airplane who does not know how to swim, we say to you, thanks a lot for flying Alitalia Airlines."

dafuq?

Was this supposed to make any sense or be humorous?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNHFGyWQicw
 
2013-09-30 09:54:22 PM

Strobeguy: I think subby has italians confused with the french on the hair part.


Nope. The Italians used to have it worse.
Not sure how things have changed since I haven't been there in a long time.

I do remember being there as a teen, in the eighties and seeing this probably late teen beautiful girl who looked like a young Madonna (again, this was the eighties) as I was looking at her she saw someone she knew and waved hi....and Tina Turner popped out.


/stolen joke is stolen
 
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