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(Gawker)   Senator Ted Cruz taunts his political opponents with a chess analogy. Unfortunately, nobody ever taught him the rules of chess   (gawker.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Ted Cruz, rules of chess, dissidents, chess matches, chess game, analogy, senator  
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7011 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Sep 2013 at 12:40 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



242 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-09-30 04:43:26 AM  

www.mytoysdirect.comLet's play Chess!

 
2013-09-30 05:10:14 AM  

grumpfuff: wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!

Also, so much this..I just..need to know. What. The. Fark.


I hate to link to this wackadoo, but his site is worth the look just to know that someone with undeniable talent can indeed be very, very crazy.
 
2013-09-30 05:35:45 AM  

COMALite J: /How did I do that?


Did you make the space in between italicized? I always wondered if that would do it, but never cared enough to try.

I think I will, now. "Boobies."
 
2013-09-30 05:36:23 AM  
ib_thinkin: "Boobies."

Apparently not.
 
2013-09-30 05:53:37 AM  

Shadowknight: grumpfuff: wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!

Also, so much this..I just..need to know. What. The. Fark.

I hate to link to this wackadoo, but his site is worth the look just to know that someone with undeniable talent can indeed be very, very crazy.


Talent? Well, he's decent at illustration, but for artistic merit, even the old Soviet propaganda posters blow his cheesy schtick right out of the water. He's the teabagger Thomas Kinkade.
 
2013-09-30 06:00:45 AM  
He isn't playing wrong, since he is from Canada, he's playing chess the metric way.
 
2013-09-30 06:01:37 AM  
God, looking at the original tweet, in the replies...

I'm your crackaberry @emaleroland 27 Sep
@dankmtl it's called weening out the Liberal pricks that infiltrated the party @SenTedCruz @SenMikeLee

Yeah.  All those liberals that have infiltrated the Republican party in recent years are to blame.  That's it.  Totally.

I'm still dumbfounded that people can think like this.
 
2013-09-30 06:02:13 AM  

cc_rider: Shadowknight: grumpfuff: wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!

Also, so much this..I just..need to know. What. The. Fark.

I hate to link to this wackadoo, but his site is worth the look just to know that someone with undeniable talent can indeed be very, very crazy.

Talent? Well, he's decent at illustration, but for artistic merit, even the old Soviet propaganda posters blow his cheesy schtick right out of the water. He's the teabagger Thomas Kinkade.


Kinkade, who died recently, was a talented plein air painter. His commercial work was dreck. Very popular dreck.
 
2013-09-30 06:23:02 AM  
When this is all over, he'll be the sole survivor.

/pretty sneaky sis.
 
2013-09-30 06:32:51 AM  
Hey give him a break. Can't you see that the Republicans must go and scrabble to outwit Obama and the government monopoly on your life that is Obamacare? No risk is too great, when it comes to defeating that evil mastermind, lest the entire country be sorry! It is no trivial pursuit to solve this boggle, nay, excising this cancer is possibly the most important operation the world has ever seen.

/with apologies to Pocketninja and Stoparrestingme if they already arrived here and I missed them
 
2013-09-30 06:34:56 AM  
Heh... Morons.

Nice expensive chess set, too. Bet Cruz has never played it.


Best set I ever saw was a set where all the pieces were different, graphic representations of sexual positions.
 
2013-09-30 06:43:59 AM  

Draq: The best part is, if the board WERE correctly set up, his king would be exposed to a two move checkmate.


Seems like a perfect metaphor for the entire GOP strategy. Change the rules - because there's no way your strategy can succeed if everything is fair.
 
2013-09-30 07:02:48 AM  

thatboyoverthere: grumpfuff: Almost Everybody Poops: fusillade762: Sid_6.7: Uranus Is Huge!: Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

Is that Boris Becker? Are the wolves on his shirt in the original?

No, I added the Wolves a while back during a thread where someone posted the original.

Here is the original is all of it's stupid glory:

[www.thegatewaypundit.com image 550x441]

Painted by a man who likely masturbates to Tom Clancy novels.

I like this one.

[scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x572]

wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!

Also, so much this..I just..need to know. What. The. Fark.

The original showed Jesus handing down the Constitution with all of the founding fathers behind him, with the modern Democrats weeping before him. Someone just made it into the Cthulhu Mythos.


Someone just updated the Apocalypse with something more likely.
 
2013-09-30 07:03:05 AM  

PainInTheASP: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Checkmate!

/now King me!

Heyyyyy, you sank my battleship!


It's scrabbleship stupid head.
 
2013-09-30 07:06:42 AM  
 
2013-09-30 07:09:41 AM  

clkeagle: Draq: The best part is, if the board WERE correctly set up, his king would be exposed to a two move checkmate.

Seems like a perfect metaphor for the entire GOP strategy. Change the rules - because there's no way your strategy can succeed if everything is fair.


Calling what Cruz does a strategy makes Zombie Clausewitz angry.
 
2013-09-30 07:16:04 AM  

Mentat: So he doesn't understand chess of Green Eggs and Ham.  I imagine he was the type of kid who slapped the pieces off the board when he started losing at CandyLand.


I'm honestly wondering if he's just trolling to see how stupid his supporters are.

They'll love this regardless but, like the Green Eggs and Ham, will never realize the problem with his example.
 
Boe [TotalFark]
2013-09-30 07:18:38 AM  

CodeMonkey4Life: Apik0r0s: Jim_Callahan: Chirality makes a functional difference in how molecules can interact.  Mirroring the chess board does not change how the game can proceed, you have the exact same set of potential pathways either way.

The Queen not being on her color and the King being on his own (as in this setup) is not inconsequential, at all. This becomes more apparent in the late game, at the other end of the board.

he's playing good patriotic American chess, not that sissified European perversion where women don't know their place


Thanks for the clarification.  I assumed it was Canadian Rules chess.
 
2013-09-30 07:19:13 AM  
I hope soon the whole world finds out what an hero he is.
 
2013-09-30 07:27:57 AM  
A Gawker article and no accusations of racism?

Editor must be on vacation.
 
2013-09-30 07:29:43 AM  

phenn: A Gawker article and no accusations of racism?

Editor must be on vacation.


Watching your entire shiatty old value system get kicked to the curb by the next generation must suck. Tough titty, granny.
 
2013-09-30 07:33:11 AM  

jso2897: phenn: A Gawker article and no accusations of racism?

Editor must be on vacation.

Watching your entire shiatty old value system get kicked to the curb by the next generation must suck. Tough titty, granny.


My value system is fine. Gawker loves to cry racism at the drop of a hat. Yell at them.
 
2013-09-30 07:41:04 AM  

phenn: jso2897: phenn: A Gawker article and no accusations of racism?

Editor must be on vacation.

Watching your entire shiatty old value system get kicked to the curb by the next generation must suck. Tough titty, granny.

My value system is fine. Gawker loves to cry racism at the drop of a hat. Yell at them.


Poor baby. Those mean old liberals.
 
2013-09-30 07:41:06 AM  
From the comments:


img.gawkerassets.com
 
2013-09-30 07:41:56 AM  

phenn: jso2897: phenn: A Gawker article and no accusations of racism?

Editor must be on vacation.

Watching your entire shiatty old value system get kicked to the curb by the next generation must suck. Tough titty, granny.

My value system is fine. Gawker loves to cry racism at the drop of a hat. Yell at them.


And even when they don't, you'll cry about it.

Odd axe to grind.
 
2013-09-30 07:46:57 AM  
Alright libs. He's hispanic, we get it.
 
2013-09-30 07:50:18 AM  
Who is BOB?
 
2013-09-30 07:55:23 AM  
ITT: Right wing radicals trying to pull the race card. Best part - they don't actually know how, and fail at it as badly as they do at life in general.
It sure is nice to see the right dying out again, though.
2016 is going to be sweet.
 
2013-09-30 07:59:31 AM  

danwinkler: Alright libs. He's hispanic, we get it.


Hispanic? I thought he was one of the dough people.
 
2013-09-30 08:00:00 AM  
And his spoke for 21 hours about GREEN EGGS & HAM!

libs are so farking stupid
 
2013-09-30 08:00:38 AM  

Muta: Who is BOB?


He meant to type "MOD".
 
2013-09-30 08:01:18 AM  

Carl Scroot: Muta: Who is BOB?

He meant to type "MOD".


BoB is the acronym of his favorite kind of porn.
 
2013-09-30 08:01:26 AM  

Muta: Who is BOB?


BOB the Enzyte guy, apparently.  It's some sort of snarky nickname for Boehner, apparently
 
2013-09-30 08:01:44 AM  
And the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.  Checkmate!
 
2013-09-30 08:02:44 AM  
Gin!

img.fark.net
 
2013-09-30 08:02:45 AM  

jso2897: Carl Scroot: Muta: Who is BOB?

He meant to type "MOD".

BoB is the acronym of his favorite kind of porn.


I thought that was "ATM"?
 
2013-09-30 08:08:14 AM  

bgddy24601: Mikey1969: RedPhoenix122: shanrick: I know what the horse is! Does it move two steps forward and one to the side or is it one step forward and one to the diagonal?

It's 2 steps to the side and 1 forward.

Except for when it's one to the side and two forward.

It's just a jump to the left.


Only because I didn't see a response, but no, that wasn't obscure.

/misses the live shows
//I should get total generational cred for that, because I'm only 30
 
2013-09-30 08:12:43 AM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but being born in Canada, he is ineligible for the US Presidency.
 
2013-09-30 08:13:12 AM  

danwinkler: Alright libs. He's hispanic, we get it.


There are more references to him being Canadian, mister poutrage.
 
2013-09-30 08:13:20 AM  

cc_rider: even the old Soviet propaganda posters blow his cheesy schtick right out of the water.


Even the old Soviet propaganda posters? Some of those posters were absolutely brilliant works of design.

api.ning.com
russiatrek.org
youthoughtwewouldntnotice.com
 
2013-09-30 08:14:13 AM  

jakomo002: Correct me if I'm wrong, but being born in Canada, he is ineligible for the US Presidency.


Not in the new, misspelled Teabagger constitution he isn't.
 
2013-09-30 08:16:51 AM  

Carl Scroot: jakomo002: Correct me if I'm wrong, but being born in Canada, he is ineligible for the US Presidency.

Not in the new, misspelled Teabagger constitution he isn't.


Depends on whether or not his mother spent 10 consecutive years in the U.S., five of which has to be before the age of 19. If she did, then he's a natural-born citizen and can be prez *shudder*.
 
2013-09-30 08:23:01 AM  
He should have done this. Just as wrong, but a more accurate message:

www.bitlogic.com
 
2013-09-30 08:28:46 AM  
Somehow I ended up on the Hammacher-Schlemmer mailing list and got one of their catalogs. Good god, the people who buy anything from them must be bone-crushingly stupid, or maybe they just have more money than god and nobody to show them how to work the computer. My favorite item is the $60 8GB flash drive called "The 8,000 picture digital storage vault". From what I saw in the catalog, the vast majority of product titles are "The Best X" and "The Best Y" as if their cheap Chinese crap is somehow bestowed the virtue of being worthy of possession by the ignorant wealthy just because it costs 10x as much as an equivalent consumer-grade product from Amazon or whatever.

There's also a remarkable amount of woo-woo "science" there in the form of "reflexology" massagers, infrared baldness "cures", and their ilk.
 
2013-09-30 08:40:10 AM  

syrynxx: It's not like chess rules are rigorous.  There are dozens of ways to start off.


Of course.  Personally, I like to replace a few of my bishops with more queens.
 
2013-09-30 08:54:29 AM  

Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

What Ted Cruz actually is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 640x480]


I like Obama's "Look-out We Got A Badass Over Here" look.
 
2013-09-30 09:03:45 AM  
Sounds like Canadian-rules Chess to me.
 
2013-09-30 09:06:00 AM  
Been saying it for quite a while now.  Obama's playing chess, the Republicans are playing checkers.
 
2013-09-30 09:42:41 AM  

cc_rider: Talent? Well, he's decent at illustration, but for artistic merit, even the old Soviet propaganda posters blow his cheesy schtick right out of the water. He's the teabagger Thomas Kinkade.


What I'm saying is that he can actually make a pretty enough looking picture.  His technique is actually pretty nice.  His subjects are the things schizophrenia are made for, but the man can wield a brush.
 
2013-09-30 09:43:49 AM  
Does anyone know if the story is true that the 'Tea Party' threatened to run a primary challenger to Boehner if he failed to allow the House GOP bill to be passed?  I heard some rumor Saturday that they basically threatened to 'primary' him in the next election with an ultra conservative candidate if he didn't get the rest of the house GOP in line with their new version of the budget bill that delayed the ACA for a year.  Since we know Boehner has no spine this would be easy to convince him to do it, but I cannot find any confirmation.
 
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