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(Gawker)   Senator Ted Cruz taunts his political opponents with a chess analogy. Unfortunately, nobody ever taught him the rules of chess   (gawker.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Ted Cruz, rules of chess, dissidents, chess matches, chess game, analogy, senator  
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7011 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Sep 2013 at 12:40 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



242 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-09-30 01:47:55 AM  

Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

What Ted Cruz actually is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 640x480]


You know, I've never noticed before that the guy holding the Constitution is wearing a three wolf moon t-shirt. There is no way possible Jon McNaughton is not trolling the Conservatives.
 
2013-09-30 01:49:49 AM  
How could anyone tell with such a garish set? Still, it's clear he didn't learn the little mnemonic "Queen on her colour."
 
2013-09-30 01:52:43 AM  

www.washingtonpost.com

 
2013-09-30 01:52:56 AM  
I like to say that Obama is playing chess while the Reps are playing checkers, but I never meant it literally.
 
2013-09-30 01:53:17 AM  

Bonanza Jellybean: How could anyone tell with such a garish set? Still, it's clear he didn't learn the little mnemonic "Queen on her colour."


The Queen is the only one with hooters in that chess set..

/although to be fair, Cruz is a Republican, so he probably thought that the big, tall, thick, meaty, masculine piece is the important one that goes on its own color, and didn't even notice that other piece's bewbz
 
2013-09-30 01:53:50 AM  

ox45tallboy: Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

What Ted Cruz actually is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 640x480]

You know, I've never noticed before that the guy holding the Constitution is wearing a three wolf moon t-shirt. There is no way possible Jon McNaughton is not trolling the Conservatives.


Not the original.
 
2013-09-30 01:54:13 AM  

Bonanza Jellybean: How could anyone tell with such a garish set? Still, it's clear he didn't learn the little mnemonic "Queen on her colour."


You would have thought a Canadian like Cruz would have remembered that weird spelling, too.
 
2013-09-30 01:57:08 AM  

Sid_6.7: Not the original.


i.qkme.me

 
2013-09-30 01:58:48 AM  

Mambo Bananapatch: I know that the very Boobieser mentioned the queen's tits, but I came here for the specific purpose of commenting on what an awesome rack the queen has, and god dammit I will do so.

That queen has some fantastic tits.


Mambo Bananapatch: Wow, I forgot about the whole "boobies" thing. I'm actually okay with the way it worked out.


You mean the thing about how you can't type "Boobies" here without it changing to that word in the final posted version (though it looks fine in Preview)? That?

/How did I do that?
 
2013-09-30 02:04:58 AM  

COMALite J: Mambo Bananapatch: Wow, I forgot about the whole "boobies" thing. I'm actually okay with the way it worked out.

You mean the thing about how you can't type "Boobies" here without it changing to that word in the final posted version (though it looks fine in Preview)? That?

/How did I do that?


Wow. I have no idea. I always heard if you type "Boobies" then the filter changes it to something else. What's up with that?
 
2013-09-30 02:07:10 AM  

ox45tallboy: COMALite J: Mambo Bananapatch: Wow, I forgot about the whole "boobies" thing. I'm actually okay with the way it worked out.

You mean the thing about how you can't type "Boobies" here without it changing to that word in the final posted version (though it looks fine in Preview)? That?

/How did I do that?

Wow. I have no idea. I always heard if you type "Boobies" then the filter changes it to something else. What's up with that?


Awww, you totally made him non-unique now and unspecial, you mean old stupidhead.
 
m00
2013-09-30 02:07:42 AM  
Maybe it's a subtle statement in support of transgender rights.
 
2013-09-30 02:11:45 AM  

m00: Maybe it's a subtle statement in support of transgender rights.


media.townhall.com
*ack* *cough* *sppplttt* "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?"

 
2013-09-30 02:12:33 AM  

Sgt Otter: TheOmni: Having a fancy chess set and a vague and not entirely accurate understanding of the rules of chess seems to fit him perfectly.

It too can be yours, for the low, low price of $799.95!

http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12025


In his defense, the catalog has it wrong too.

/Snert
 
2013-09-30 02:15:34 AM  

r1chard3: Sgt Otter: TheOmni: Having a fancy chess set and a vague and not entirely accurate understanding of the rules of chess seems to fit him perfectly.

It too can be yours, for the low, low price of $799.95!

http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12025

In his defense, the catalog has it wrong too.

/Snert


So... ordering from a pretentious douchebag supply company may make you look like a pretentious douchebag? Hmmm.
 
2013-09-30 02:26:17 AM  
Trivial but apt.
 
m00
2013-09-30 02:26:19 AM  

ox45tallboy: m00: Maybe it's a subtle statement in support of transgender rights.

[media.townhall.com image 665x340]
*ack* *cough* *sppplttt* "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?"


At first I thought it was in support of transgender rights, because he has a male queen.

But then I thought maybe it's about de-stigmatizing interracial marriage, because normally you're supposed to put the white queen on the white square, but he put the white queen on the black square.
 
2013-09-30 02:27:49 AM  

ox45tallboy: Sid_6.7: Not the original.

[i.qkme.me image 500x318]


Then you can be grateful I PS'd the shirt into the image.

Also, if you can't see how the filters work, then you should come off your mod high-horse and dwell in the land of the peons. The view is much better here.
 
2013-09-30 02:28:15 AM  

Apik0r0s: This isn't a mirrored board, the squares in the lower right (from the point of view of both players) is white), as should be. It is a deformed setup, not mirrored.


www3.pictures.zimbio.com
"That was exactly what I was going for. A 'deformed setup'. Just like Obamacare."

 
2013-09-30 02:28:36 AM  
What a typical Ted Cruz supporter may look like:

https://twitter.com/emaleroland
 
2013-09-30 02:31:41 AM  

Infernalist: ox45tallboy: COMALite J: Mambo Bananapatch: Wow, I forgot about the whole "boobies" thing. I'm actually okay with the way it worked out.

You mean the thing about how you can't type "Boobies" here without it changing to that word in the final posted version (though it looks fine in Preview)? That?

/How did I do that?

Wow. I have no idea. I always heard if you type "Boobies" then the filter changes it to something else. What's up with that?

Awww, you totally made him non-unique now and unspecial, you mean old stupidhead.


WAAAH!!! Meanie!!! ;-)

(Actually, I gave hints by including the words "final" and "fine" [instead of "#xFB01;nal" and "fine"] in the same sentence on purpose, without using that technique in them. They're visually a bit different.)
 
2013-09-30 02:32:51 AM  

COMALite J: (Actually, I gave hints by including the words "final" and "fine" [instead of "#xFB01;nal" and "fine"] in the same sentence on purpose, without using that technique in them. They're visually a bit different.)


Ooops! Preview is friend!
 
2013-09-30 02:33:34 AM  

Sid_6.7: Then you can be grateful I PS'd the shirt into the image.


Perhaps a better macro would have been "I prefer it your way". It really adds to the piece, and that meme was just what came to mind. Awesome job on the 'shop, btw.

Sid_6.7: Also, if you can't see how the filters work, then you should come off your mod high-horse and dwell in the land of the peons. The view is much better here.


Absolute honesty, I used the same method he did to bypass the filter. No mod trick or anything. My posts get filtered like everyone else's.
 
2013-09-30 02:39:07 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
Your move, Sen. Cruz.
 
2013-09-30 02:40:50 AM  
rationalwiki.org
/oblig
 
2013-09-30 02:43:38 AM  
It's as if those quotes "fark up" the filter.
 
2013-09-30 02:43:57 AM  

Mikey1969: RedPhoenix122: shanrick: I know what the horse is! Does it move two steps forward and one to the side or is it one step forward and one to the diagonal?

It's 2 steps to the side and 1 forward.

Except for when it's one to the side and two forward.


It's a Tea Party horse: one step forward, and two steps back; except for the step forward.
 
2013-09-30 02:44:09 AM  

Apik0r0s: Cobb County, GA's jail (M-pod) features stainless steel dining/gaming fixture tables - all of which have a checkers/chess board etched into them - backwards, with black in the lower right. Republicans.


Dare I ask how you know this?

/only been in Fulton County and Rockdale County lockups, never Cobb.
//neither one had checker/chess boards
 
2013-09-30 02:46:40 AM  

Sid_6.7: Uranus Is Huge!: Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

Is that Boris Becker? Are the wolves on his shirt in the original?

No, I added the Wolves a while back during a thread where someone posted the original.

Here is the original is all of it's stupid glory:

[www.thegatewaypundit.com image 550x441]

Painted by a man who likely masturbates to Tom Clancy novels.


I like this one.

scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-09-30 02:50:10 AM  
Hey, Ted-ster, I can help:

images.chesskidfiles.com
 
2013-09-30 02:52:49 AM  
I can picture Cruz running around screaming "King me!"
 
2013-09-30 02:53:08 AM  

super_grass: Next up: how Cruz eats crackers like he owns the place.


Oh shut up.
 
2013-09-30 02:55:15 AM  

Apik0r0s: You been to Rice Street? Place smells like feet. I used to DUI, now I have Jesus to drive me, well, through me. I am his vessel.


Clermont Lounge!!! Let's DO IT!!!!

I think they have one chick that plays chess with her #!@^ and if you win she'll #!@$% your !#$@% with her #!@$%.

Probably could beat Ted Cruz.
 
2013-09-30 02:57:59 AM  

fusillade762: Sid_6.7: Uranus Is Huge!: Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

Is that Boris Becker? Are the wolves on his shirt in the original?

No, I added the Wolves a while back during a thread where someone posted the original.

Here is the original is all of it's stupid glory:

[www.thegatewaypundit.com image 550x441]

Painted by a man who likely masturbates to Tom Clancy novels.

I like this one.

[scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x572]


wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!
 
2013-09-30 02:58:00 AM  

Jim_Callahan: BuckTurgidson: Republicanism

[i14.photobucket.com image 640x360]

WIINNING!

Um... I know why I, as someone employed by another institution in the sate, make fun of Perry for going to A&M.  But what's your beef with the school, exactly?

//I mean, the dog-sweater is stupid, but that picture's no dumber than what any other college student was wearing at the time.


Wait. Is that Rick Perry? I have never seen those before.
 
2013-09-30 02:58:13 AM  
www.rookenterprizes.com
-ie mistake.
 
2013-09-30 03:00:29 AM  

Mistymtnhop: I can picture Cruz running around screaming "King me!"


therightscoop.com
"A winner is MEEEEEE!!!!!"

 
2013-09-30 03:18:20 AM  

PainInTheASP: you sank my battleship!


i4.ytimg.com

Best two out of three.
 
2013-09-30 03:18:51 AM  

Mikey1969: RedPhoenix122: shanrick: I know what the horse is! Does it move two steps forward and one to the side or is it one step forward and one to the diagonal?

It's 2 steps to the side and 1 forward.

Except for when it's one to the side and two forward.


It's just a jump to the left.
 
2013-09-30 03:31:27 AM  
fxowen.files.wordpress.com

+

www.savingwithshellie.com

=

www.wbez.org
 
2013-09-30 03:44:46 AM  

tbhouston: What does Ted Cruz have against white queens


Same thing he's got against black Presidents, I suspect.
 
2013-09-30 03:45:18 AM  

PanicMan: PainInTheASP: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Checkmate!

/now King me!

Heyyyyy, you sank my battleship!

I've drunkenly tried to combine battleship and twister, just so I could use the phrase "You sunk my right hand red!" Sadly I was too busy drinking to work out the exact rules of twistership.


You and I need to drink together sometime.
 
2013-09-30 03:46:01 AM  

Almost Everybody Poops: fusillade762: Sid_6.7: Uranus Is Huge!: Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

Is that Boris Becker? Are the wolves on his shirt in the original?

No, I added the Wolves a while back during a thread where someone posted the original.

Here is the original is all of it's stupid glory:

[www.thegatewaypundit.com image 550x441]

Painted by a man who likely masturbates to Tom Clancy novels.

I like this one.

[scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x572]

wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!


Also, so much this..I just..need to know. What. The. Fark.
 
2013-09-30 03:58:14 AM  

BuckTurgidson: Republicanism

[i14.photobucket.com image 640x360]

WIINNING!


I love how the 'books' are so transparently fake, and simply disappear in the second photo.  A metaphor, perhaps.
 
2013-09-30 04:00:34 AM  

Apik0r0s: This isn't a mirrored board, the squares in the lower right (from the point of view of both players) is white), as should be. It is a deformed setup, not mirrored.


Is reading one bloody post back so mind-breakingly hard that you'd really rather repeat shiat from less than three lines up the conversational thread and pretend you're contributing something?

We know this, we're talking about something else.
 
2013-09-30 04:00:51 AM  

KWess: A metaphor, perhaps.


No, he actually burned them.
 
2013-09-30 04:14:02 AM  
The best part is, if the board WERE correctly set up, his king would be exposed to a two move checkmate.
 
2013-09-30 04:14:40 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

It's way past time we talked.The gloves are off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press.
 
2013-09-30 04:22:40 AM  

grumpfuff: Almost Everybody Poops: fusillade762: Sid_6.7: Uranus Is Huge!: Sid_6.7: Who Ted Cruz thinks he is:

[i140.photobucket.com image 625x502]

Is that Boris Becker? Are the wolves on his shirt in the original?

No, I added the Wolves a while back during a thread where someone posted the original.

Here is the original is all of it's stupid glory:

[www.thegatewaypundit.com image 550x441]

Painted by a man who likely masturbates to Tom Clancy novels.

I like this one.

[scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x572]

wha... WTF is that supposed to mean?!

Also, so much this..I just..need to know. What. The. Fark.


The original showed Jesus handing down the Constitution with all of the founding fathers behind him, with the modern Democrats weeping before him. Someone just made it into the Cthulhu Mythos.
 
2013-09-30 04:35:42 AM  
Ted Cruz doesn't play by your rules, libtards!
 
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