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(Business Insider)   Drink a lot of coffee? Here are ten reasons why it's a bad idea, because it does some crazy things to your body   (businessinsider.com) divider line 16
    More: PSA, coffee  
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15825 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2013 at 5:27 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-29 04:29:19 PM
6 votes:
Coffee: I drink it so you don't die.
2013-09-29 03:30:22 PM
5 votes:
Bonus from drinking coffee- I don't cut to ribbons the first person who annoys me.
2013-09-29 05:15:55 PM
4 votes:
You can get my coffee when you pry it from my cold, dead hands...

lh6.googleusercontent.com
2013-09-29 07:00:05 PM
2 votes:
The only harmful effect of coffee is what is going to happen to you if you try to deny me coffee
2013-09-29 05:34:54 PM
2 votes:
There are some convincing arguments for lowering coffee intake, but I nursed my latte through that whole trite, slapshot article.
2013-09-29 08:53:33 PM
1 votes:

Veteran of the Cola Wars: After reading through this thread, I have arrived at only one logical coherent conclusion.

More coffee means fewer grunt rings applied to exiting turdlettes.

And come on. We all know what a grunt ring is. That moment of exquisite agony as a turd the size of an old DeSoto sedan only makes it halfway out and then comes to a screeching halt, causing involuntary whimpers of pain, as we breathe deep and our leather cheerio clenches, applying a grunt ring to what appears to be the love child of Benjamin Grimm and She Hulk. After a few seconds, which actually feels like a few years, the pain train begins to move again, trying to evacuate the reinforced brick clogging up our backside, the nigh indestructible Turdzilla being birthed, the beast that no sharpened sphincter can slice. The nearly religious experience of true pain, each protruding peanut slicing away at our poopchute like slivers of glass forged in the deepest pits of Mordor. Yes, real pain, true pain, the pain where even atheists cry out "Oh God!" and for the briefest moment, have a desire to believe that some divine being could save them from this torment.


Geez dude, a little fiber every day (and coffee) keeps titanic turds from getting trapped in your exit chute.  I bet you probably have to reach up in there and break it off occasionally too, eh?

Nasty.
2013-09-29 08:36:33 PM
1 votes:
After reading through this thread, I have arrived at only one logical coherent conclusion.

More coffee means fewer grunt rings applied to exiting turdlettes.

And come on. We all know what a grunt ring is. That moment of exquisite agony as a turd the size of an old DeSoto sedan only makes it halfway out and then comes to a screeching halt, causing involuntary whimpers of pain, as we breathe deep and our leather cheerio clenches, applying a grunt ring to what appears to be the love child of Benjamin Grimm and She Hulk. After a few seconds, which actually feels like a few years, the pain train begins to move again, trying to evacuate the reinforced brick clogging up our backside, the nigh indestructible Turdzilla being birthed, the beast that no sharpened sphincter can slice. The nearly religious experience of true pain, each protruding peanut slicing away at our poopchute like slivers of glass forged in the deepest pits of Mordor. Yes, real pain, true pain, the pain where even atheists cry out "Oh God!" and for the briefest moment, have a desire to believe that some divine being could save them from this torment.
2013-09-29 08:11:14 PM
1 votes:

FatherDale: I'm convinced. I'm going to quit reading Business Insider articles.


Not worth letting the entire internet run scripts on your machine, eh? I'm surprised NoScript didn't crash...
2013-09-29 07:30:53 PM
1 votes:
I'm convinced. I'm going to quit reading Business Insider articles.
2013-09-29 05:51:21 PM
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: I'd rather be an asshole than the kind of naive, wide-eyed idiot I recall you to be.


Well, I presume you substitute idiot for holding different points of view than you, which is fine. There's a difference, though, in disagreeing and being unecessarily abusive to anyone who disagrees with you.
2013-09-29 05:42:16 PM
1 votes:
I can function without coffee, in much the same way as an internal combustion engine can function with a broken water pump: Not for very long and not at peak efficiency.

However, there's a happy medium between this:
crow202.org
And this:
crow202.org
2013-09-29 05:42:10 PM
1 votes:
Glad I only drink one cup a day.

i.imgur.com
2013-09-29 05:39:47 PM
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: I got really bad with my espresso maker, only when I came to empty the hopper did I realize I must be throwing back 12-15 a day. Plus tea. But it doesn't really do anything until I stop. Then I get lethargic for a day or two, then I get better. No headache.


No wonder you're an asshole.
2013-09-29 05:38:57 PM
1 votes:
If I don't get my coffee I start to go over all Communist. Two days without and I am braying for the blood of the parasite class.

I swear this genuinely is 100% true.
2013-09-29 05:35:37 PM
1 votes:
I don't drink coffee, but I will be the first one to offer you a cup.
2013-09-29 04:44:54 PM
1 votes:
That list applies only to those who drink a cup of coffee every hour on the hour.  For those who drink a couple of cups a day, you might get a mild headache after 36 hours. . .maybe.
 
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