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(Daily Mail)   Hello, I am Russia Customs. I have 20 billion Euros in warehouse, and need your help to remove it after final proof that you are owner. For only cost of plane ticket you have money. Bring suitcase large enough for 200 pallets   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 37
    More: Interesting, Saddam Hussein, Russia, Moscow, euro note, Roman Abramovich, Gaddafi, forged document  
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11412 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2013 at 5:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-29 03:32:49 PM  
Like fark anyone "loses" that much money. I am sure it is being closely guarded, and I don't mean by the guards in the hangar. Someone knows who the money belongs to but they sure as hell aren't going to talk!
 
2013-09-29 04:19:19 PM  
Oh shiat - that's where I left that. Yup, that's mine, you can send back to me now.
Love,
Urger
 
2013-09-29 04:46:01 PM  
Why has no group gone in and taken it?  Hell - there are warlords in Somalia who cold send a small army for it and be out of there in no time.
 
2013-09-29 05:24:17 PM  
Good thing all that money is safe instead of moving around and buying toaster ovens and Similac and pork chops.
 
2013-09-29 05:28:55 PM  
The sad thing, if the US could somehow legitimately claim it over international laws of some sort for the cost of running the Iran War that took out Saddam, it still won't cover more than half a year's worth of fighting.

/The war would pay for itself from oil revenues, they said.
//My ass.
 
2013-09-29 05:30:47 PM  
The money belongs to Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfield, stolen from the Green Zone during the Gulf War.  They shifted it there because they knew that a Democrat was going to win the 2008 elections and they needed to hide the money until a Republican administration could retake the White Hourse.
 
2013-09-29 05:35:30 PM  
Yeah, back around that time I had that money in checked baggage on United.  You know how much United sucks.  Anyways, it looks like it got lost there and didn't end up in that Unclaimed Baggage place in Alabama.

Can I have some?  You can even have a 95% finders fee...
 
2013-09-29 05:39:03 PM  
Now we know the plot of the next Fast and Furious movie.
 
2013-09-29 05:39:50 PM  
Hold on, I have the Nigerian prince on Line 1.
 
2013-09-29 05:44:23 PM  
The Russian government has so far not seized the money. Lyalin added: 'It turns out that there are no reasonable grounds for seizing it.

They should take lessons from the United States. Just say it's drug money, and keep it unless someone can prove otherwise.
 
2013-09-29 05:47:02 PM  
Subject: CHARITY DISTRIBUTION
From:
Mr. Peter Attah 

URGENT - HELP ME DISTRIBUTE MY $15 MILLION TO CHARITY

IN SUMMARY:- I have 15,000,000.00 (fifteen million) U.S. Dollars and I want you to assist me in distributing the money to charity organizations. I agree to reward you with part of the money for your assistance, kindness and participation in this Godly project. This mail might come to you as a surprise and the temptation to ignore it as unserious could come into your mind but please consider it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense of humility.

I am Mr Peter Attah and I am a 55 years old man. I am a South African living in the Garden City of Port Harcourt - Nigeria. I was the President/CEO of TOMOBA OIL LIMITED - an oil servicing comapny in Port Harcourt. I was also married with two children. My wife and two children died in a car accident six years ago. Before this happened my business and concern for making money was all I was living for and I never really cared about other people.

But since the loss of my family, I have found a new desire to assist the helpless. I have been helping orphans in orphanages/motherless homes.I have donated some money to orphans in Sudan, Ethiopia, Cameroon,Spain,Austria,Germany and some Asian countries.

Before I became ill, I kept $15 Million in a long-term deposit account in Allied Bank PLC. Presently, I am in the hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for oesophageal cancer and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations. Because my relatives and friends has plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them. 

Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the $15 Million and the interest accrued on the deposit from Allied Bank and distributes it amongst charity organizations.

You are at liberty to use your discretion to distribute the money and feel free as well to reimburse yourself when you have the money for any expenses you incur in the course of collecting and distributing the money to charity organizations. I am willing to reward you for your assistance and kindness.

Kindly expedite action and contact me via e-mail: p­e­t­e­r­a­t­tah2007[nospam-﹫-backwards]oo­h­a­y*co­*u­k if this proposal is acceptable to you.

May the good Lord bless you and your family.

Best Regards,
Mr Peter Attah
 
2013-09-29 05:49:02 PM  
Somewhere out there, someone has just started writing a new heist movie.
 
2013-09-29 06:00:15 PM  
Saddam Hussein's?!!! NO! Couldn't it be some of the billions that went missing in Baghdad between April 2003 and June 2004, $12 billion in U.S. currency? I'm sure Russia was happy to help out and just misplaced the money?
 
2013-09-29 06:01:40 PM  

Ivo Shandor: The Russian government has so far not seized the money. Lyalin added: 'It turns out that there are no reasonable grounds for seizing it.

They should take lessons from the United States. Just say it's drug money, and keep it unless someone can prove otherwise.


The only reason they wouldnt have seized it is because they know who it belongs to and do not wish to ruffle those particular feathers, for whatever reason.

Or, there is also the odd chance that they simply dont want to seize it  because its 27  billion dollars.  "Dont know whos it is, but they're probably not somebody I should fark with...."
 
2013-09-29 06:19:23 PM  
Bring a van to move the barrels, just watch out for Nazis

www.gq.com
 
2013-09-29 07:07:43 PM  
If Russia is not seizing it then it means that they know who it belongs to, and that person/organization is alive but unable to claim it at the moment, and that person/organization has blackmail info on Putin or another important Russian.
 
2013-09-29 07:14:09 PM  
damn.  jorji really did hit it big.  now i'm pissed i only got two 20s from him.
glory to arstotzka!
 
2013-09-29 07:20:39 PM  
So if no one comes to claim it, then the finder gets to keep it, right?
 
2013-09-29 07:25:33 PM  
Organized crime makes more sense than Saddam's money

If anything the money Saddam took is most likely with his wives
 
2013-09-29 07:29:47 PM  

Ivo Shandor: The Russian government has so far not seized the money. Lyalin added: 'It turns out that there are no reasonable grounds for seizing it.

They should take lessons from the United States. Just say it's drug money, and keep it unless someone can prove otherwise.


Except that never actually happens.
 
2013-09-29 07:40:32 PM  
... and Fark gets flagged as a scam site.
 
2013-09-29 08:16:26 PM  

2BuckChuck: Bring a van to move the barrels, just watch out for Nazis


Came here to say I don't have room for 200 pallets but I can fit six barrels in my van.
 
2013-09-29 08:16:49 PM  
Easy.... Just like in Europe

It belongs rightly to the dragon family.
 
2013-09-29 08:25:28 PM  
OK I see two options:

1) We steal a ground transport and dress up as baggage handlers.  I'll disable the power grid, which should give you 3 minutes to get in the hangar, take out the guards, grab the loot, and get out.

2) We hijack a plane on the other side of the airfield.  While the guards are dealing with that, we fly in a small plane, blow the hangar doors, and get back in the air before they know what happened.

Which is it, sneaky or shooty?
oyster.ignimgs.com
 
2013-09-29 08:53:59 PM  
FTFA: The stash, now under high security in a cargo depot, is held on 200 wooden pallets each worth 100 million euros

They stored the money on 20 billion euros worth of wooden pallets? Sounds ostentatious. Were they carved by Grinling Gibbons or something?

/obscure?
//the Daily Fail, failing once again
 
2013-09-29 08:55:51 PM  

talkertopc: If Russia is not seizing it then it means that they know who it belongs to, and that person/organization is alive but unable to claim it at the moment, and that person/organization has blackmail info on Putin or another important Russian.


===============

More than likely the Russians know who it belongs to and is tormenting them by waving it under their noses.  "You want your money? Huh?  You want your money?  We got your money.  All you have to do is show up and claim it.  It's just that easy.  Show up in Moscow and claim it."
 
2013-09-29 09:07:16 PM  
Yeah, I wouldn't touch that money. www.mediacircus.net
 
2013-09-29 09:12:33 PM  
It's Iranian money.  They sent it to the Russians to pay for setting up the centrifuges and the rest of the nuclear weapons stuff or there is some sort of oil smuggling through Russia to get around the embargo and the Russians are going to "return" the money to Iran under the ruse that they got it from an Iranian in the first place.
 
2013-09-29 09:44:55 PM  

KimNorth: Saddam Hussein's?!!! NO! Couldn't it be some of the billions that went missing in Baghdad between April 2003 and June 2004, $12 billion in U.S. currency? I'm sure Russia was happy to help out and just misplaced the money?


Well, considering that the cash is in euros, not dollars, that's unlikely.
 
2013-09-29 10:10:34 PM  

KimNorth: Saddam Hussein's?!!! NO! Couldn't it be some of the billions that went missing in Baghdad between April 2003 and June 2004, $12 billion in U.S. currency? I'm sure Russia was happy to help out and just misplaced the money?


How do you suppose the converted US dollars into Euros without some banks noticing? Doing exchanges at $500 a pop would probably take about 1000 years if the exchange was done once per bank per day, and getting from one bank to another as quick as possible.
 
2013-09-29 10:27:04 PM  
Oh I'm real sorry about that I'll be right over to get it out of your way.
 
2013-09-29 10:40:00 PM  

puckrock2000: KimNorth: Saddam Hussein's?!!! NO! Couldn't it be some of the billions that went missing in Baghdad between April 2003 and June 2004, $12 billion in U.S. currency? I'm sure Russia was happy to help out and just misplaced the money?

Well, considering that the cash is in euros, not dollars, that's unlikely.


dericwater: KimNorth: Saddam Hussein's?!!! NO! Couldn't it be some of the billions that went missing in Baghdad between April 2003 and June 2004, $12 billion in U.S. currency? I'm sure Russia was happy to help out and just misplaced the money?

How do you suppose the converted US dollars into Euros without some banks noticing? Doing exchanges at $500 a pop would probably take about 1000 years if the exchange was done once per bank per day, and getting from one bank to another as quick as possible.


Russian mob can launder 12 billion no problem, into Euro's as if it was a kids magic trick. You know nothing and have see nothing until you Google the shiat they pull off.

But as where the money came from it is true it is anyone's guess but for sure dirty.

Look up :
How a big US bank laundered billions from Mexico's murderous drug gangs
 
2013-09-29 10:44:05 PM  
Am I the only one who imagined that headline read in this guy's voice?
i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-29 10:47:45 PM  

maachubo: OK I see two options:


Could we pay a warlord from a former satellite state to attack? That would be the perfect diversion.
 
2013-09-29 11:17:09 PM  
It isn't mine, but I packed it for the owner. Bastage still owes me the $40K pallet/wrapping fee. If ya'll wouldn't mind forwarding that over, I'll send the invoice your way.
 
2013-09-30 01:36:39 AM  
I'll store the pallets in my garage for a reasonable* fee.
That should help out some, yes?

*One layer of one pallet, per week.
Now you're probably saying that's unreasonable. But think of it this way, after enough weeks have past, the problem has resolved itself. The storage fees have consumed all cash and the problem goes away.
 
2013-09-30 03:44:30 AM  
Mexico. Just sayin'...
 
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