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(The Toast)   At the close of this year's Banned Books Week, here are some suggestions for the kinds of books that should be banned instead   (the-toast.net) divider line 97
    More: Obvious, Banned Books Week, banned books, natural kind, death  
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8949 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2013 at 1:41 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-29 01:43:58 PM
The Bible
 
2013-09-29 01:47:30 PM

YoOjo: The Bible


Aren't you so clever?
 
2013-09-29 01:52:28 PM
The entire Twilight series. Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray.
 
2013-09-29 01:53:02 PM
Your blog sucks.
 
2013-09-29 01:53:46 PM

brimed03: YoOjo: The Bible

Aren't you so clever?


Yes he is, he figured out how to trick mommy into letting him near the computer, and he actually remembered how to type this time too, aint it cute?
 
2013-09-29 01:54:01 PM

YoOjo: The Bible



Your paradise awaits!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-29 01:54:15 PM
I recommend fifty shades and twilight because of poor writing. Twilight again for the sparkly vampire shiat.
 
2013-09-29 01:54:54 PM
Definitely this one:


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-29 01:55:51 PM
How about every book written by anyone who has ever had their own Fox News channel, or any new channel.

Also any book that overly glorifies Reagan as anything more then he was, a good actor hired by rich people.
 
2013-09-29 01:56:14 PM

YoOjo: The Bible


If you ban the Bible you will missing out on themes and words that have influence Western literature, poetry and plays since the beginning of the Bible. It would be like taking a chunk of the picture out and never showing it to anyone.

Besides, you ban the Bible another book will just pop up in its place.
 
2013-09-29 01:57:38 PM
I say "Huckleberry Finn", just because it doesn't say the word enough!
 
2013-09-29 01:59:09 PM

Anastacya: The entire Twilight series. Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray.


The old lady bought 50 shades of gay on Audible a few months ago, the problem was she didn't realize she was still logged into MY Audible account, now not only do I have that damn book cluttering up my library but Audible keeps recommending books based on that purchase, books I never wanted to know existed let alone buy 8-(
 
2013-09-29 02:00:15 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-29 02:02:17 PM

Pribar: Anastacya: The entire Twilight series. Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray.

The old lady bought 50 shades of gay on Audible a few months ago, the problem was she didn't realize she was still logged into MY Audible account, now not only do I have that damn book cluttering up my library but Audible keeps recommending books based on that purchase, books I never wanted to know existed let alone buy 8-(


Well, at the very least you know your bedroom life could be fun, AND you could be totally abusive to her a la Christian Grey and she'd love it.
 
2013-09-29 02:04:00 PM
I'm not for banning ANY books, no matter how vile or how much hate they are filled
with...unlike most liberals who want to ban anything associated with: Reagan, The Bible,
Fox News, Rush, Bill O'Reilly, I have a simple argument.  Don't like them?  Then don't
read em!  Same as banning music, video games, what can be seen on tv....if you don't
like it, skip it instead of wasting all your time trying to boycott, write letters, protest.
Just don't read/watch/listen to it.  You'll be MUCH happier.  Same as drinking, smoking,
I don't, don't care for it, but, I'll fight for YOUR right to smoke/drink anything that is
a legal substance.  No skin off my teeth...
 
2013-09-29 02:05:40 PM

mekki: YoOjo: The Bible

If you ban the Bible you will missing out on themes and words that have influence Western literature, poetry and plays since the beginning of the Bible. It would be like taking a chunk of the picture out and never showing it to anyone.

Besides, you ban the Bible another book will just pop up in its place.


All of the killing, raping, and wrath of God stuff happens in the Old Testament. The New Testament (i.e. the teachings of Christ) is what Christians should be focusing on (love neighbors, help needy, don't be a self-righteous asshole).

I would support separating the two and calling the followers of Old Testament dogma "idiots" instead of Christians. If you read the New Testament, Jesus did not agree with the "Jewish interpretation" of God's decrees. Thus, the Jewish religious leaders of the time tried and succeeded in having him killed.
 
2013-09-29 02:06:39 PM

Pribar: Anastacya: The entire Twilight series. Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray.

The old lady bought 50 shades of gay on Audible a few months ago, the problem was she didn't realize she was still logged into MY Audible account, now not only do I have that damn book cluttering up my library but Audible keeps recommending books based on that purchase, books I never wanted to know existed let alone buy 8-(


Oh, ouch. That is horrible. I have that same problem with a CD that I bought for a friend through Amazon. A few years ago I got him the Glee cast CD for one of the seasons; he is a huge fan and it was part of a gift to mock him. Anywho, when Amazon came up with the Autorip library, most of the CDs that I bought ended up as free Autorip mp3s in my song list, and of course that wretched Glee CD is one of them. So now, of course, I get all sorts of suggestions for music types, and while I do listen to many different styles and genres, I just cannot get into that show.

/css
 
2013-09-29 02:07:12 PM
Not off-topic, but a little tangential... In college I had an early 1800's edition of the complete works of Shakespeare. It wasn't a rare book, so it wasn't worth a whole lot, but it still had this feel and smell about it that just made it wonderful to hold and read.

Several moves later and I can't find it anymore. It'll probably turn up when I die and my kids are going through all my crap to see what to keep, sell, or trash.

// not really a csb
 
2013-09-29 02:10:29 PM
Star Wars Crucible

Your book sucked and I want my money back, Denning!
 
2013-09-29 02:10:41 PM
Well, I clearly said The Bible to be provocative, I don't have any illusion that it would actually receive any serious consideration, either here or in the wider community.
My reasoning was based on the simple fact that it would seem that most US book bans are as a result of the more strict followers of that book trying to impose their will over and above anyone else. Which isn't exactly fair. They may feel that they are the moral guardians of society but they've proven that not to be the case repeatedly so why do we still have to live accordingly.
Plus, that book does seem to provoke otherwise peaceful people to war.
I'm sure someone more credible than me could make a better case but there it is, I'd ban the Bible and YMMV.
/it's only an opinion on the internet, if I offended your god or you then tough, turn the page.
 
2013-09-29 02:12:02 PM

Pribar: Anastacya: The entire Twilight series. Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray.

The old lady bought 50 shades of gay on Audible a few months ago, the problem was she didn't realize she was still logged into MY Audible account, now not only do I have that damn book cluttering up my library but Audible keeps recommending books based on that purchase, books I never wanted to know existed let alone buy 8-(


You and Mike Binder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoUJvAQg7KI
 
2013-09-29 02:22:47 PM
Books about the life of the author's dog or cat which culminate in the death of the dog or cat and the lessons it taught the author and their family

Might has well ban the entire NYT bestseller list.
 
2013-09-29 02:23:27 PM
Anything by Ann Coulter.
 
2013-09-29 02:24:13 PM

YoOjo: The Bible


Hate-filled Athiest thead anyone?
 
2013-09-29 02:26:04 PM
Books about the author's decision to do something different for a whole year and how at first it was hard but then they kind of got into it and were almost sorry when the year ended but not really and now they still do that thing once a month for fun.


I'm not in favor of banning any books, but if there were a moratorium on these things I would be eternally grateful. We get it: You lived as a Fundy/Gay Man/Straight Man/Drunk/Vegan/Lactose Intolerant person for a year and your blog got a lot of hits and a mention on NPR. You're still not the author of Black Like Me.
 
2013-09-29 02:26:25 PM

tjsands1118: How about every book written by anyone who has ever had their own Fox News channel, or any new channel.

Also any book that overly glorifies Reagan as anything more then he was, a good actor hired by rich people.



Better still, a hate-filled Anti-Republican thread.
 
2013-09-29 02:26:47 PM

Whatchoo Talkinbout: YoOjo: The Bible

Hate-filled Athiest thead anyone?


I'm sorry, the gay rights lobby has checked "hate" out from the library and its due date is 2112.
 
2013-09-29 02:29:04 PM

Anastacya: Pribar: Anastacya: The entire Twilight series. Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray.

The old lady bought 50 shades of gay on Audible a few months ago, the problem was she didn't realize she was still logged into MY Audible account, now not only do I have that damn book cluttering up my library but Audible keeps recommending books based on that purchase, books I never wanted to know existed let alone buy 8-(

Oh, ouch. That is horrible. I have that same problem with a CD that I bought for a friend through Amazon. A few years ago I got him the Glee cast CD for one of the seasons; he is a huge fan and it was part of a gift to mock him. Anywho, when Amazon came up with the Autorip library, most of the CDs that I bought ended up as free Autorip mp3s in my song list, and of course that wretched Glee CD is one of them. So now, of course, I get all sorts of suggestions for music types, and while I do listen to many different styles and genres, I just cannot get into that show.

/css


You can go back through your Reccomendations or possibly Reviews management and mark the CD (or anything else you don't want included) as a gift or otherwise take it out of consideration. My husband buys a ton of spirituality books on my account, so I do this a couple of times a year.
 
2013-09-29 02:32:12 PM
i42.tinypic.com
Any objections?
 
2013-09-29 02:35:11 PM
Wow. How did this thread turn into a bunch of persecuted, butt-hurt Republican white folks whining about how society doesn't respect their lifestyle choices?
 
2013-09-29 02:35:37 PM

Prophet of Loss: Thus, the Jewish religious leaders of the time tried and succeeded in having him killed.


lolwut
 
2013-09-29 02:36:21 PM

hardinparamedic: Wow. How did this thread turn into a bunch of persecuted, butt-hurt Republican white folks whining about how society doesn't respect their lifestyle choices?


I'd say you've never been to the Politics but..well, I know you have. Don't worry, they'll find a way.
 
2013-09-29 02:37:59 PM

Whatchoo Talkinbout: tjsands1118: How about every book written by anyone who has ever had their own show on Fox News channel, or any new channel.

Also any book that overly glorifies Reagan as anything more then he was, a good actor hired by rich people.


FIFM

Better still, a hate-filled Anti-Republican thread.

I have nothing against moderate republicans or moderate democrats for that fact, but people on any cable new channel are far from moderate, all they do is spread hate for the other side.

But you know what, from your posts, you seem like a conservative religious nut, so yeah let just make the thread about hating you.

/You dumbass imaginary friend having racist redneck piece of crap,
 
2013-09-29 02:38:47 PM
1. Books written by Republican pundits and then purchased by the hundreds of thousands of copies by Right Wing think tanks to pump up their worthless sales and kick-back large sums of money to the author without breaking campaign or other laws, plus anything else by, or about, or handed out by these people, even if it is exposés written by liberals or Democrats.
2. Books written by Republicans which achieve huge sales because every dumbass liberal buys them as a joke gift at Christmas for their dumbass liberal and conservative relations and every dumbass Republican does the same.
3. Books written by Republicans for the brain-washing of innocent children.
4. Anything with Ayn Rand taken seriously as literature or thought.
5. Books written by Republicans which can be boiled down to a schoolyard chant. I Know You Are But What Am I: The Michael Moore Story by Rush Limbaugh
6. Lists of the worst Liberals, the best conservatives, or the top 100 anything political.
7. Patriotic clap trap written by conservatives or Republicans or libertarians and which is based on historical revisionism or "tales-we-tell-children" ad purport to be history.
8. Books written by Ann Coulter or the like and whose titles are basically the short of BS that lynch mobs hoot as they are stringing up an innocent or any person with an IQ above 80. Suggested titles: Liar! Traitor! Commie! N-word!
9. Books written to sell well in Texas or any other state with a vowel in it's name.
10. Any book written by a conservative Republican or any person too right wing to be a conservative Republican. There's more arrant nonsense in those than there was in the books of astrology and magic in the Great Library of Alexandria.

Yeah, I'm feeling political today. Don't mind me.
 
2013-09-29 02:41:54 PM

mekki: YoOjo: The Bible

If you ban the Bible you will missing out on themes and words that have influence Western literature, poetry and plays since the beginning of the Bible. It would be like taking a chunk of the picture out and never showing it to anyone.

Besides, you ban the Bible another book will just pop up in its place.


Like the Koran.  I threw my copy in the trash after I finished reading it. The misogyny and calls to violence are very offensive and they completely undermine whatever moral authority it tries to present.

I wouldn't ban it however, I don't believe in banning books at all.
 
2013-09-29 02:42:28 PM
Anastacya
Pribar:

she didn't realize she was still logged into MY Audible account, now not only do I have that damn book cluttering up my library but Audible keeps recommending books based on that purchase

I have that same problem with a CD that I bought for a friend through Amazon.


Assuming amazon.de isn't unique: someone at amazon figured out that this might be a problem.
If you log into your amazon account, there should be a menu item somewhere were you can tune amazon's recommendations for you: it lists all the the crap you've bought and, among other things, you can select that a product should be ignored when calculating recommendations for you.

Audible belongs to amazon, so maybe it has a similar feature.
Buying stuff for other people might not be as common on audible, but it would make sense to allow people to rate stuff as total garbage if they didn't like it.
 
2013-09-29 02:43:51 PM
The author has a very weak grasp on the concept of the bildungsroman.
 
2013-09-29 02:43:55 PM

brantgoose: Yeah, I'm feeling political today. Don't mind me.


Speaking of Ann Coulter...
 
2013-09-29 02:45:21 PM
Prophet of Loss: All of the killing, raping, and wrath of God stuff happens in the Old Testament. The New Testament (i.e. the teachings of Christ) is what Christians should be focusing on (love neighbors, help needy, don't be a self-righteous asshole).

I would support separating the two and calling the followers of Old Testament dogma "idiots" instead of Christians. If you read the New Testament, Jesus did not agree with the "Jewish interpretation" of God's decrees. Thus, the Jewish religious leaders of the time tried and succeeded in having him killed.


Jesus would agree with you. Matthew 15:8-9 (Jesus quoting Isaiah):

"'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.' "

Pretty much sums up today's evangelicals, dominionists, and "Properity Gospel" proponents.

And then Jesus goes on to overturn one of the Old Testament laws:

Matthew 15:10-14:

Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen and understand.  What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them."  Then the disciples came to him and asked, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?"He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit."

Christians use this to justify eating pork and shellfish (although, reading earlier in the chapter, it's actually about not washing your hands before eating). But they don't understand the deeper meaning: it's what's in your heart that makes you good or bad, not what you say or do (or don't say or don't do).

I personally extend this to gay marriage as well. If two people (hey, or more, even!) are devoted to each other, then why shouldn't they be allowed to marry? I have a feeling that if Jesus were here today, he'd be ok with it.

Besides, who am I to judge?  Oh yeah, Jesus even said to worry about your own sins instead of the sins of others.

Matthew 7:1-3:

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

Anyway, enough Sunday school for today.

// atheist, but has probably read more of the bible than "these people"
 
2013-09-29 02:46:52 PM

rdu_voyager: // atheist, BECAUSE I read more of the bible than "these people"


FTFY
 
2013-09-29 02:48:50 PM

maxx2112: YoOjo: The Bible


Your paradise awaits!

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x832]


Targets have been programmed and saved to redundant systems guidance queues.
 
2013-09-29 02:49:45 PM
I think we should ban blog entries that, instead of naming titles, link to websites that require an email address to see what they were talking about.
 
2013-09-29 02:49:46 PM

brantgoose: 9. Books written to sell well in Texas or any other state with a vowel in it's name.


Maybe it's just me but...isn't that all of them?
 
2013-09-29 02:51:07 PM
Breaking Bad: The American bildungsroman.
 
2013-09-29 02:52:01 PM
i2.listal.com

My God this book just rambled on and on and on and on.  Was there no editor?
 
2013-09-29 02:52:18 PM

Pribar: brimed03: YoOjo: The Bible

Aren't you so clever?

Yes he is, he figured out how to trick mommy into letting him near the computer, and he actually remembered how to type this time too, aint it cute?


You give him far too much credit. Found an open cubicle at the library.
 
2013-09-29 02:52:38 PM
Answer: none, you ninny.

Also

Books with "REMAINDER" stickers on them that will never give up their horrible residue, no matter how much time you spend idly digging at them with your fingernail.

Ever heard of Goo Gone*? Hell, I used to use WD-40* on my old DnD books back in the day; worked just fine.

/apply conservatively
 
2013-09-29 02:54:11 PM
tjsands1118: How about every book written by anyone who has ever had their own Fox News channel, or any new channel.

Also any book that overly glorifies Reagan as anything more then he was, a good actor hired by rich people.


Any book written by a conservative.  Obvious troll was too obvious.
 
2013-09-29 02:54:37 PM

worlddan: rdu_voyager: // atheist, BECAUSE I read more of the bible than "these people"

FTFY


Yes, yes you did. Thanks...
 
2013-09-29 02:54:53 PM
My Father bought my Mother 50 Shades of Gray on her Kindle. She thinks he must have heard about it but had no idea what the contents were like. She says it was a terrible book.

But she apparently read the whole thing.

I bought her Go Ask Alice back when it was a succès de scandal. It is human to want to know what the fuss is about.

I myself read the first Harry Potter book which I purchased for $1 about three or four years after it became a super success. It is essentially one of those British private school (AKA public school) stories written by and for those elements of the middle classes which wish they could have sent their children to a public school. Full of ancient ancestral clichés but not without invention or skillful craft.

As a general rule I make it a point of honour to not read bad books when they are fashionable. Maybe a few years after the general public has moved on. If the general public has still not entirely forgotten them, they are safe in the same way that depleted uranium shells are "safe", which is to say that the radioactivity won't kill you before the momentum does.

Reading something by Dan Brown is like picking up depleted uranium fragments from a beach. It's mostly harmless. Besides, I read all of his "research" materials including the guys who sued him for plagiarism years and decades, before he started to type.

Readers who liked Dan Brown should have read The Name of the Rose and  Foucault's Pendulum instead. If they wanted something less scholarly, they should have read Lincoln and Leigh, etc. And so it goes, and so it goes.

That would be a useful service: a guide to tell you which books you should have read instead of the crap you didn't like or did like but shouldn't have read.
 
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