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(Salon)   There is a woman out there so beautiful that she's been maimed by male attention, and she wants to tell the world about it   (salon.com) divider line 219
    More: Stupid, objectification, academic degrees, nursing  
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26656 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2013 at 9:43 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-30 07:51:28 AM

Abox: I could have been an ax murderer and they would have accepted it because of my looks


I personally would love to meet an ultra-hottie with an interesting side-hobby.


i516.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-30 08:54:11 AM

WhiskeyBoy: A man flattering a woman over her Louboutins typically does not garner the kind of male-hatred you think it does.


I looked at your profile and I think you're a fairly handsome man. I'm sorry for my reverse misogyny. I'm prepared to accept your completely reasonable outrage.

I understand, because when a man tells me he thinks I'm attractive I feel like I've been mentally raped and humiliated.

/rape culture, yada yada
//yes I said rape twice
 
2013-09-30 08:59:42 AM

WhiskeyBoy: Dammit.  That should have read "White-hating misandrist racist".  My hands got ahead of my brain while typing.
Though, I could probably argue the misogyny angle pretty easily as well.


It's ok. It's easy to confuse someone pointing out bad behavior with actually being the one to perpetuate that bad behavior. Kind of like police who blame the people in the bank for not stopping the bank robber.

But I'm not the Patty Hurst of misogyny and racism. Pointing it out does not mean I'm joining in or makes me the prime suspect.

That's your own bias talking and it's fairly common. No YOU must hate white people....because you felt discriminated against. No YOU must hate men...because a lot of men's attitudes about women belong in the dark ages.

See, it must be me. Because otherwise you'd have to examine your own issues far too closely for your comfort. It's much easier just to blame me and make me out to be a biatch for daring to say anything at all.
 
2013-09-30 09:51:46 AM

Hermione_Granger: See, it must be me. Because otherwise...


Do you ever wonder why so many people have you farkied as a racist?
 
2013-09-30 10:10:47 AM

Hermione_Granger: WhiskeyBoy: Dammit.  That should have read "White-hating misandrist racist".  My hands got ahead of my brain while typing.
Though, I could probably argue the misogyny angle pretty easily as well.

It's ok. It's easy to confuse someone pointing out bad behavior with actually being the one to perpetuate that bad behavior. Kind of like police who blame the people in the bank for not stopping the bank robber.


The problem with this analogy is that in this case, the "bad behavior" is a thought. I propose that it is possible for a person to believe that he or she is "pointing out bad behavior," but in fact be operating from skewed perceptions driven by the very same sorts of thoughts. In a situation like that, the "pointing out bad behavior" would in fact be bad behavior, would it not?

But I'm not the Patty Hurst of misogyny and racism. Pointing it out does not mean I'm joining in or makes me the prime suspect.

I (and, I suspect, many others in your opposition) believe that the situation I outlined above is, in fact, the situation you are in. You are "pointing out" nothing but your own faulty perceptions, and rather than adjust your perception to match the reality -something only you can do, because we cannot think for you- you simply repeat your perception again and again, as though repetition would bend reality to match it.

I reiterate my philosophical question. When a thing is spoken, who decides what it means: the speaker, or the listener? I ask this question because I believe that our points of view concerning the issue at hand depend heavily on the way we answer this more general question. For my part, I believe that the speaker decides. What do you believe?
 
2013-09-30 10:46:42 AM
Stopped reading as soon as she mentioned her "genius IQ".

There is no such thing - which anyone with even just your garden variety high IQ true would know.
 
2013-09-30 11:23:38 AM

Hermione_Granger: WhiskeyBoy: Dammit.  That should have read "White-hating misandrist racist".  My hands got ahead of my brain while typing.
Though, I could probably argue the misogyny angle pretty easily as well.

It's ok. It's easy to confuse someone pointing out bad behavior with actually being the one to perpetuate that bad behavior. Kind of like police who blame the people in the bank for not stopping the bank robber.

But I'm not the Patty Hurst of misogyny and racism. Pointing it out does not mean I'm joining in or makes me the prime suspect.

That's your own bias talking and it's fairly common. No YOU must hate white people....because you felt discriminated against. No YOU must hate men...because a lot of men's attitudes about women belong in the dark ages.

See, it must be me. Because otherwise you'd have to examine your own issues far too closely for your comfort. It's much easier just to blame me and make me out to be a biatch for daring to say anything at all.



No.  Just no.  You see, the thing is, I'm neither racist or misogynistic, and you jumping to those conclusions should be a big red flag to you for your own approach to these issues.  I'm old enough to have learned and dealt with life's issues.  In fact, I'm probably what most people would describe as average, and boring.  You and I both disapprove of racists, misogynists and others in their ilk.  You just hate them so much that you see it in everything, and everyone.  You've lost touch with the reality of reality.
 
2013-09-30 12:22:24 PM
She never sought attention. MRA farkwits publicized the letter so they could blame the woman for seeking publicity and being an attention whore, per their usual tactics. The evidence is all in the article for anyone not already predisposed to shoveling MRA credo as a primary hobby.

Fark actually has an ugly MRA problem already. Forum posts? sure, Greenlights? no. Way too many MRA troll posts being greenlit these days just so the insecure can have their yet another calling out all women on their insecurities thread.
 
2013-09-30 12:40:19 PM

Protricity: She never sought attention.


Writing a letter to a public news outlet doesn't qualify as seeking attention?

I agree with you that she wasn't seeking the sort of attention she has turned out to get. But to say that she wasn't seeking attention at all is, I think, rather far-fetched. She chose Salon, after all, and that's not an outlet known for employing MRA farkwits. More likely, I think, is that she expected an outpouring of public sympathy.

MRA farkwits publicized the letter so they could blame the woman for seeking publicity and being an attention whore, per their usual tactics. The evidence is all in the article for anyone not already predisposed to shoveling MRA credo as a primary hobby.

Salon has a legion of MRA farkwits on their staff? That would be news to me. They're no Jezebel -few outlets are- but they have a long and reliable track record of staunch opposition to that sort of thing. All I see in the article, at the absolute worst, is an appeal to use her agency: that if she does not want to be seen as an object to be acted upon, she needs to stop waiting (or asking) to be acted upon, and instead act in her own right. Is that really MRA farkwittery?
 
2013-09-30 12:53:41 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-30 01:34:20 PM
My name is Lena, and....I like being told I'm pretty. I know, i know...I'm supposed to hate it and complain, but gotdammit, I was not an attractive youth until late high school, and I felt, keenly, the lack of objectification that my more comely friends enjoyed.

I have, as long as I can remember, enjoyed random compliments. They are nice words, and as long as someone doesn't get angry at only receiving gracious thanks in return, rather than accepting their proffered penii, it is pleasant.

She needs to stop taking herself so seriously. That's unattractive as hell.
 
2013-09-30 01:40:15 PM

Millennium: I have a philosophical question. When a thing is spoken, who decides what it means: the speaker, or the listener?



If you are my GF speaking to me- it's the speaker who decides.  If you are my GF listening to me....it's the listener.
 
2013-09-30 02:34:19 PM

rogue_L_chick: My name is Lena, and....I like being told I'm pretty. I know, i know...I'm supposed to hate it and complain, but gotdammit, I was not an attractive youth until late high school, and I felt, keenly, the lack of objectification that my more comely friends enjoyed.


I'm sorry that is not allowed.  You will have to surrender your woman card immediately.  Hand it over.
 
2013-09-30 03:48:05 PM

rogue_L_chick: My name is Lena, and....I like being told I'm pretty. I know, i know...I'm supposed to hate it and complain, but gotdammit, I was not an attractive youth until late high school, and I felt, keenly, the lack of objectification that my more comely friends enjoyed.

I have, as long as I can remember, enjoyed random compliments. They are nice words, and as long as someone doesn't get angry at only receiving gracious thanks in return, rather than accepting their proffered penii, it is pleasant.

She needs to stop taking herself so seriously. That's unattractive as hell.




But if I do that, or enjoy looking at you, probably even so much as think to myself "Wow, that woman is beautiful", I'm a misogynistic bastard apparently.
 
2013-09-30 05:26:48 PM

Huggermugger: Gergesa: NetOwl: Do you know what is more difficult than being pretty? Being ugly. If you think people don't take you seriously when you look good, well, try disfiguring your face. See how many people take you seriously then.

This.  I think there have been a few articles about how ugly people generally have much more difficulty in life than attractive people.

I'm an ugly woman, and I wasted way too much time thinking that if I was attractive it would solve all my problems, but I've since seen so many men treat beautiful women like raw sewage while at the same time feeling conflicted about their overwhelming attraction to said women, that I don't entirely envy them.

My perfect world would be to have the ability to switch it on and off for about an hour a week. Otherwise, I prefer living life being invisible to most men. It's worth the absence of harassment and sexual assault. Being stared at is definitely a form of harrassment. Men have a very hard time understanding that, but a lot of those same men are also very skittish and defensive if they are forced to interact with women they consider repulsive.


Take what you want, and pay for it. You could be the object of male attraction. Is that what you want?

For one thing, lose the weight so you'll be healthy. Also, being beautiful isn't just about being the target of sexual assault. Be healthy and take care of your body. Not just physically, but emotionally. Life happens on many levels. Build yourself up. Grow a thick skin. Grow yourself, FTW.
 
2013-09-30 05:54:41 PM

ocendot: Sounds like she's looking for love in all the wrong places. She consciously (or perhaps not) picks the wrong guy, and when things go south she says ,"Uh huh! See! see!". Meanwhile there a lot of great guys she can't see because she's not looking for the. She gets off on playing the victim.


How dare she not date men she's not attracted to.
 
2013-09-30 07:08:34 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: ocendot: Sounds like she's looking for love in all the wrong places. She consciously (or perhaps not) picks the wrong guy, and when things go south she says ,"Uh huh! See! see!". Meanwhile there a lot of great guys she can't see because she's not looking for the. She gets off on playing the victim.

How dare she not date men she's not attracted to.


OK then, she's pathologically attracted to jerks. What's the definition of insanity?
 
2013-09-30 07:33:18 PM

rogue_L_chick: My name is Lena, and....I like being told I'm pretty. I know, i know...I'm supposed to hate it and complain, but gotdammit, I was not an attractive youth until late high school, and I felt, keenly, the lack of objectification that my more comely friends enjoyed.

I have, as long as I can remember, enjoyed random compliments. They are nice words, and as long as someone doesn't get angry at only receiving gracious thanks in return, rather than accepting their proffered penii, it is pleasant.

She needs to stop taking herself so seriously. That's unattractive as hell.


You look good in your profile picture and you seem well grounded and nice.
 
2013-09-30 10:22:04 PM
She sounds fat.
 
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