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(Salon)   There is a woman out there so beautiful that she's been maimed by male attention, and she wants to tell the world about it   (salon.com) divider line 219
    More: Stupid, objectification, academic degrees, nursing  
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26663 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2013 at 9:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



219 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-29 10:12:23 AM

fredklein: She has "a genius IQ", but can't figure out why strangers, who don't know her, judge her on the one thing they do know about her-her looks, instead of personality and intelligence (which they don't know, because they don't know her).

/she also likes the word "glom".


My mom is the only other person i've heard use that word. I thought she made it up, lol.
 
2013-09-29 10:12:44 AM
According to the letter, she's upset because people have valued her only based on her looks for her entire life, and then she marries some loser who does just that, but it's society's fault?

For the record, I knew a couple of pretty attractive girls who ended up teaching high school in their early 20s.  They went out of their way to be 'less attractive' so their students would take them seriously -- i.e. wearing thicker glasses instead of contacts lenses, and having the most boring work wardrobe ever.  It's actually pretty do-able.

Then again, I also know some average-looking women who think that every guy who even talks them must be completely enamored by them.
 
2013-09-29 10:13:40 AM
Chick, if you can't find a mate just because you gained weight, it's not because all anyone cares about is beauty, it's because either you have no personality, or you're so insecure and have such a chip on your shoulder it drives people away.
That or she's just as superficial as the guys who wanted her just for her looks, and completely ignores the decent guys that don't want her just for her looks.
I got hit on quite a bit when I was skinny. I still get hit on now that I'm married and overweight. And I have guy friends that wouldn't mind a relationship with me were I single, skinny or not. They're not even ugly trolls believe it or not! So it sure as hell ain't all males that are her problem.

And as far as the ex who obsessed over her weight, that's not because all society cares about is looks, it's because she married a superficial, controlling, abusive, douchebag. I've known plenty of women who were quite beautiful and skinny when young, gained weight when they had kids, and their husbands aren't suddenly mentally abusive dickwads. I was much skinnier when I was younger, and while I wouldn't call myself strikingly beautiful I wasn't unpleasant to look at, and my husband has NEVER done the things she says her husband did. The only comments about my weight are either health related or "hey you'll feel better about yourself if you lose weight." If he really wanted to encourage me to lose weight, he'd take me out hiking and find physical activities we liked to do together or something, not to mention encouraging me to make healthy meals (but he's a country boy and likes rich foods, so he'll take that over worrying about my weight :p).

She may be much more overweight than me, which would indeed lower the dating pool, but it still sounds like a major personality/insecurity problem more than anything. I doubt all the weight came on at once, and she sounds like as soon as she gained any suddenly there was no one for her.

Lose some weight, stop being insecure, get a personality and hobbies, and don't be overly superficial. It's not that hard. There are plenty of guys looking for a woman out there even if she's not physically perfect.

Oh, and I also find it hard to believe that guys were constantly barraging her with cat calls and stuff unless she was dressing for attention. I've been friends with some quite beautiful women, and while they might get comments here and there, unless they dress in something sexy it's not that frequent other than maybe a polite "I just wanted to say, I think you're pretty."
 
2013-09-29 10:14:05 AM
"I have a genius IQ, a graduate degree, and everything I've really cared about professionally I have excelled at. "

Fat person typing detected.
 
2013-09-29 10:14:22 AM
I am empathetic.  I catch myself looking too often at women that are just really easy to look at too often.  I've always figured they were used to it.  It could be construed as low-level harassment, I s'pose.

I haven't a clue what she could possibly do about it without appearing uncivil.  It's a man thing.

Blame Darwin.
 
2013-09-29 10:15:05 AM

Chevello: I May Be Crazy But...: Same here. I'm just so sexy that hot women randomly throw their panties at me while I'm walking down the street. It's terrible.

How does your wife, Morgan Fairchild, feel about that?


She's busy throwing her underwear at me also.

Seriously, when I don't try it's bad enough. But when I put a little effort into it - you know, neaten up the neckbeard a bit, put on a slinky dress and heels, the works - I'm just irresistible.
 
2013-09-29 10:15:26 AM
I think the only maiming was done by her brain to her brain.
 
2013-09-29 10:16:04 AM
Women who can't relate to men always see it as the other way around.
 
2013-09-29 10:16:31 AM

NetOwl: Do you know what is more difficult than being pretty? Being ugly. If you think people don't take you seriously when you look good, well, try disfiguring your face. See how many people take you seriously then.


This.  I think there have been a few articles about how ugly people generally have much more difficulty in life than attractive people.
 
2013-09-29 10:18:55 AM
No pictures because she is a typical daily mail "hottie"
 
2013-09-29 10:20:37 AM

Giant Clown Shoe: show me: Pics or GTFO.

[www.designofsignage.com image 600x600]

This.


Meh, she looks like 15 year old boy from Ethiopia
 
2013-09-29 10:21:03 AM

bibli0phile: You all realize this article is 8 years old right?


Presumably men no longer pay attention to her, then.  Problem solved.
 
2013-09-29 10:21:11 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-29 10:21:39 AM
theinsider.etonline.com
"Hello? No one showers me with attention anymore! Help!"
 
2013-09-29 10:22:46 AM

Bslim: "I have a genius IQ, a graduate degree, and everything I've really cared about professionally I have excelled at. "

Fat person typing detected.


I will say this: her Under the Dome fan fiction isn't bad at all.

LewDux: Meh, she looks like 15 year old boy from Ethiopia


Amen brother... real women have their own gravitational field.
 
2013-09-29 10:23:00 AM
Nobody will knooow you, when you're ooold.
 
2013-09-29 10:23:02 AM

Egalitarian: Men Guys and Bros tend to see women as symbols and not as real human beings, the more so when good looks are in play.


The rest of us are post-adolescent.
 
2013-09-29 10:23:03 AM

Dear Not Just Another Pretty Face,


shut up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take this advice: Happiness is an inside job. ~William Arthur Ward


seriously, if you are a whining little biatch, who wants to date you?

 
2013-09-29 10:26:33 AM

thamike: Egalitarian: Men Guys and Bros tend to see women as symbols and not as real human beings, the more so when good looks are in play.

The rest of us are post-adolescent.


I think it's an issue about where you are or who you're dealing with.
 
2013-09-29 10:27:22 AM
Sounds like Rebecca Watson.

If you can't be bothered to look her up then this would be the woman who basically howled on and on about misogyny because somebody had the audacity to ask her up their room for coffee on an elevator.
 
2013-09-29 10:27:26 AM
In the grand scheme of fatness, sixty pounds isn't THAT much. If she was getting as much attention as she said, sixty pounds is not going to make that stop. I'm pretty fat, but pretty faced and I still get a lot of male attention. Far more than my thinner, younger friend who has the face of a pug, bless her. As someone else pointed out, if I wear a low shirt, there might as well be no other women in the room.
 
2013-09-29 10:28:25 AM
You should have disregarded men and acquired assets. By assets, I mean education and financial resources that allow you to do explore hobbies, travel, take a sabbatical to write a book, whatever is fulfilling for you. Servicing men until past your prime rarely ends well for women and is not very fulfilling. And for most men with options, no, they're not going to still love you when you're fat (unless they're chubby chasers). Men aren't women....they're visual and need a lot of sex and sammiches. Don't kid yourself.
 
2013-09-29 10:29:00 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: thamike: Egalitarian: Men Guys and Bros tend to see women as symbols and not as real human beings, the more so when good looks are in play.

The rest of us are post-adolescent.

I think it's an issue about where you are or who you're dealing with.


Batgirl would probably count as a symbol.
 
2013-09-29 10:29:35 AM
Reminds me of someone..

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-09-29 10:30:58 AM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: Reminds me of someone..

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x649]


Man, I hate it when John Kerry goes trick-or-treating.
 
2013-09-29 10:33:16 AM
I'm sure she's always been friends and dated with regular looking guys because of their intellect and other interesting things about them.
 
2013-09-29 10:33:30 AM
I like that this poor biatch has not ONE pic to go with the article. FAIL.
 
2013-09-29 10:35:06 AM

NetOwl: As a supremely ugly person (not fat-ugly, which can be fixed, but ugly-faced, which cannot be fixed), I have no sympathy for people like this.


Do you know what is more difficult than being pretty?  Being ugly.  If you think people don't take you seriously when you look good, well, try disfiguring your face.  See how many people take you seriously then.


Have you ever read one of those "Men's Rights" screeds about how male privilege doesn't exist?  Your letter reads just like those.


Gotta agree with this.

Also, "I married the first guy who treated me well..."

Ladies, please stop doing this.
 
2013-09-29 10:36:04 AM

thamike: Batgirl would probably count as a symbol.


And nothing's hotter than a paraplegic crime fighter.

I mean, maybe a couple things, but I can't think of them right now.
 
rpm
2013-09-29 10:37:24 AM

randomjsa: Sounds like Rebecca Watson.

If you can't be bothered to look her up then this would be the woman who basically howled on and on about misogyny because somebody had the audacity to ask her up their room for coffee on an elevator.


Right. "Guys, don't do that" is howling on and on.

Getting asked to someone's you don't know room at 2 AM, not skeevy at all, nope.
 
2013-09-29 10:38:16 AM

The_Gallant_Gallstone: LewDux: Meh, she looks like 15 year old boy from Ethiopia

Amen brother... real women have their own gravitational field.


No no, I commented on the shape and color of the arrow as if it was picture of woman we're discussing. Farkers' expectations were confounded and from thence the humour arose
 
2013-09-29 10:39:53 AM

rpm: Getting asked to someone's you don't know room at 2 AM, not skeevy at all, nope


If both parties are on the level, it's only skeevy to the uninvited.
 
2013-09-29 10:40:02 AM
Just because men give you attention and tell you, you are beautiful, doesn't mean that you are beautiful. It means they want to bang you.
 
2013-09-29 10:40:12 AM

show me: Pics or GTFO.


Amen brother!
 
2013-09-29 10:40:15 AM

poison_amy: In the grand scheme of fatness, sixty pounds isn't THAT much


I didn't see the 60 lb part. That is not big enough to completely eliminate your chance for finding any guy other than feeder fetishists.

Say she's 5'3" which is a little under average height. For an adult woman of that height 130 is a fairly healthy weight - a little over what would be optimal. So 60 lbs would make her 190. Realistically she probably started skinnier than that and doesn't even weigh 190 if she's gained 60 lbs, but I'm erring on the upper side.

This is 5'3" 190, and a woman that actually works out and lifts a little weight would look smaller and more toned. At 5'2" and 190 I'm built about like the 2nd pic, and people also tend to under-guess my weight cuz I'm still active and have muscle tone.
http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/503-190.html
 
2013-09-29 10:41:59 AM
Her story doesn't add up, she married the "first guy who treated me well", but supposed this same guy "would get angry at my slightest weight gain, and would act out including weighing me and measuring my food, and doing stuff like peering in food cartons in the pantry when he got home from work to see how much was left". That doesn't sound like treating someone well. Obviously she is such a genius that she can't tell the difference between somebody sincerely treating her well and a guy on his best behavior to get at the goodies. You can't tell me a guy that "would get angry at my slightest weight gain, and would act out including weighing me and measuring my food, and doing stuff like peering in food cartons in the pantry when he got home from work to see how much was left" showed absolute zero signs of ever being inclined to this sort of behavior ever before she got married. Maybe her interpretation of treating her well meant buying her things? He probably complimented her intelligence sensing that was the type of thing she wanted to hear. Also, do geniuses deal with depression by overeating? I would think a genius would go see a psychiatrist instead. I may not be a genius but I think I can tell the difference between somebody sincerely in love with me and somebody kissing my ass.
 
2013-09-29 10:49:47 AM

rpm: randomjsa: Sounds like Rebecca Watson.

If you can't be bothered to look her up then this would be the woman who basically howled on and on about misogyny because somebody had the audacity to ask her up their room for coffee on an elevator.

Right. "Guys, don't do that" is howling on and on.

Getting asked to someone's you don't know room at 2 AM, not skeevy at all, nope.


If she complained once and let it drop then nobody would have cared.

She kept bringing it up, and bringing it up, and bringing it up. To the point that even Richard Dawkins made a statement about it. Do you think Dawkins seriously put out a statement about it if she just casually mentioned it and let it go? It was only after people started going 'Damn, we get it, you freaked out about something that was basically harmless, now shut up about it already' that we got the 'just casually mentioned it once or twice' talking point.

This is also putting aside the fact that she is among the people trying to turn the Atheist movement in to a radical feminist organization and everyone that disagrees with that idea is probably a pervert and a potential creep. This plan failed so now they've moved on to the 'new one' thanks to PZ Meyers. We'll see if that blows up in their faces as spectacularly as I think it will.
 
2013-09-29 10:50:05 AM

theusercomponent: Obviously she is such a genius that she can't tell the difference between somebody sincerely treating her well and a guy on his best behavior to get at the goodies.


To be fair, having a genius level IQ has nothing to do with common sense when it comes to interpreting people.

I have a few friends that have extremely an extremely high IQ but have absolutely no people skills, and can't interpret other's motivations at all. Think about someone who is autistic. They could have a very high IQ on paper, but be absolutely retarded when it comes to interacting with people and understanding other's emotions and intentions.

Whereas someone might have an average IQ but do extremely well interpreting other people. Like a top salesman. Most probably aren't genius level IQ but they can tell by someone's voice tone, facial expressions, etc. exactly what they want and how to manipulate them.

Or a stripper. They're likely to know exactly what guys want, and how to get money out of them, but most of the ones I've known sure as hell aren't geniuses.

IQ means little when it comes to interacting with people.
 
2013-09-29 10:51:35 AM
theusercomponent: (a genius does this, a genius does that)

Being a genius only means you can figure out problems, it does not mean that you are well disciplined and make good life choices.
 
rpm
2013-09-29 10:52:52 AM

randomjsa: If she complained once and let it drop then nobody would have cared.


She farking did drop it. The MRA didn't. I take it you're on the slymepit?

This is also putting aside the fact that she is among the people trying to turn the Atheist movement in to a radical feminist organization and everyone that disagrees with that idea is probably a pervert and a potential creep. This plan failed so now they've moved on to the 'new one' thanks to PZ Meyers. We'll see if that blows up in their faces as spectacularly as I think it will.

Treat women as more than farktoys. Wow, radical feminism in action.

Why is it that everyone that misrepresents PZ can't spell his name?
 
2013-09-29 10:53:20 AM

LewDux: No no, I commented on the shape and color of the arrow as if it was picture of woman we're discussing. Farkers' expectations were confounded and from thence the humour arose


It ain't making me laugh,  but I get it.
 
2013-09-29 10:53:33 AM

megarian: Huh. I thought that unicorn rambling article a few headlines down was a waste of time. And then I read this.

So now we're here. How do we fix this?


If only someone would post a pic of the Blue Rebel then we would see what a beautiful woman looks like.
 
2013-09-29 10:55:24 AM
"maimed by male attention"

Is this a new euphemism for penising someone?
 
2013-09-29 10:57:54 AM

Gergesa: NetOwl: Do you know what is more difficult than being pretty? Being ugly. If you think people don't take you seriously when you look good, well, try disfiguring your face. See how many people take you seriously then.

This.  I think there have been a few articles about how ugly people generally have much more difficulty in life than attractive people.


I'm an ugly woman, and I wasted way too much time thinking that if I was attractive it would solve all my problems, but I've since seen so many men treat beautiful women like raw sewage while at the same time feeling conflicted about their overwhelming attraction to said women, that I don't entirely envy them.

My perfect world would be to have the ability to switch it on and off for about an hour a week. Otherwise, I prefer living life being invisible to most men. It's worth the absence of harassment and sexual assault. Being stared at is definitely a form of harrassment. Men have a very hard time understanding that, but a lot of those same men are also very skittish and defensive if they are forced to interact with women they consider repulsive.
 
2013-09-29 11:00:34 AM

Ihaveanevilparrot: poison_amy: In the grand scheme of fatness, sixty pounds isn't THAT much

I didn't see the 60 lb part. That is not big enough to completely eliminate your chance for finding any guy other than feeder fetishists.

Say she's 5'3" which is a little under average height. For an adult woman of that height 130 is a fairly healthy weight - a little over what would be optimal. So 60 lbs would make her 190. Realistically she probably started skinnier than that and doesn't even weigh 190 if she's gained 60 lbs, but I'm erring on the upper side.

This is 5'3" 190, and a woman that actually works out and lifts a little weight would look smaller and more toned. At 5'2" and 190 I'm built about like the 2nd pic, and people also tend to under-guess my weight cuz I'm still active and have muscle tone.
http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/503-190.html


I'm a 5'11" man who weighs 190. A good bit of that is muscle, but I constantly fight not to eat the stuff I want and would like to lose 10 pounds or so. The women pictured can't be that heavy. A 5'2" woman at 190 is very obese, nearly "morbidly" so. That's a medical definition, not just being a dick.
 
2013-09-29 11:03:05 AM
OK, 60 pounds overweight. Translation; needs to wipe ass with a rag on a stick. That is more than likely 60 pounds per ass cheek.
 
2013-09-29 11:03:09 AM
Anyone suggest a burka yet?
 
2013-09-29 11:03:30 AM
Damn you Handicapper General, Diana Moon Glampers!
 
2013-09-29 11:05:36 AM

Egalitarian: She has a point even if she's whiny and blaming too much of her current bad situation on the looks thing.

Men tend to see women as symbols and not as real human beings, the more so when good looks are in play.

This was a problem for me back when I was young, relatively slender and good-looking compared to most other geeky girls. Geeky guys just saw my external looks and when they saw glimpses of my immaturity, weirdness, insecurity and other issues, they subconsciously turned up their noses, but consciously refocused back on my looks. I could smell that and ran far away.

This gal should work on developing maturity, a sense of humor, get a decent job, and lose 30 pounds and then see where that takes her. Get over the bitterness.

Around 39 I finally found a guy with some emotional maturity and who loves me for being a weirdo, not in spite of it.


I guess we know what her Fark handle is.
 
2013-09-29 11:07:41 AM
If she  was still a teenager I would have some sympathy.  Excessive attention from males freaked me out when I was a kid too.  Then I grew up and got over it.
 
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