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(Quad City Times)   Minister discusses his trip to heaven and back, which totally happened and is in no way made up   (qctimes.com) divider line 91
    More: Fail, pearly gates, ministers  
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5240 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2013 at 10:22 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-28 07:48:45 PM
Slow news day?
 
2013-09-28 08:05:02 PM
I think I might have died while reading that.
 
2013-09-28 08:10:23 PM
"But it wasn't a dream -- it was a place. And you -- and you -- and you -- and you were there."

 i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-28 09:11:16 PM

FloydA: "But it wasn't a dream -- it was a place. And you -- and you -- and you -- and you were there."

 [i105.photobucket.com image 403x300]


lol
 
2013-09-28 09:39:18 PM
...and has nothing to do with my book which you can buy for only $24.99...contact my agent for speaking engagements.
 
2013-09-28 09:49:34 PM
spiritlessons.com

I suspect that his account is no less believable than this woman's.

/Seriously, her claim sounds like the worst sort of adolescent fanfiction.
 
2013-09-28 10:11:17 PM

Dimensio: [spiritlessons.com image 208x230]

I suspect that his account is no less believable than this woman's.

/Seriously, her claim sounds like the worst sort of adolescent fanfiction.


All religion reads that way to me.
 
2013-09-28 10:18:50 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Dimensio: [spiritlessons.com image 208x230]

I suspect that his account is no less believable than this woman's.

/Seriously, her claim sounds like the worst sort of adolescent fanfiction.

All religion reads that way to me.


Imagine an adolescent creating fanfiction based upon religion, then.
 
2013-09-28 10:24:49 PM
This is a repeat from 437 BC, and you can be sure I'll be reporting it to the modmins.
 
2013-09-28 10:26:30 PM
Sort of like Kennedy conspiracy books. You can make up anything and people will buy into it. Nice cottage industry.
 
2013-09-28 10:26:34 PM
Now, I'm sure HE believes it was true. And really, what is truth?
 
2013-09-28 10:29:13 PM
Joke's on him, he doesn't realize he's really just a brain in a jar being fed simulated memories.  But then, neither do you...
 
2013-09-28 10:32:39 PM
Was he shot with a shotgun?
 
2013-09-28 10:33:29 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-28 10:33:52 PM

Dimensio: Benevolent Misanthrope: Dimensio: [spiritlessons.com image 208x230]

I suspect that his account is no less believable than this woman's.

/Seriously, her claim sounds like the worst sort of adolescent fanfiction.

All religion reads that way to me.

Imagine an adolescent creating fanfiction based upon religion, then.


So, 50 Shades for the fire-and-brimstone sadistic fantasy crowd.
 
2013-09-28 10:36:15 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Dimensio: Imagine an adolescent creating fanfiction based upon religion, then.

So, 50 Shades for the fire-and-brimstone sadistic fantasy crowd.


ecx.images-amazon.com

/hot like a hydrogen bomb
 
2013-09-28 10:38:07 PM
I once had a dream that heaven was floating on giant water lilypads in a state of total bliss. Nobody else was there and it was fantastic. No need for celestial beardy fellows or grandma telling you she's been watching you from the great voyeuristic beyond.
 
2013-09-28 10:38:44 PM
Knew this guy who said he temporarily went to heaven. He came back to life instead, as he said it full full of pedophile priests.

/Ooooo I can't print what I was going to print here. Mods will kick my ass for heavy duty trollin.
 
2013-09-28 10:38:56 PM
Meh, I'll pass.
amorphia-apparel.com
[source]
 
2013-09-28 10:44:38 PM
Why would anyone come BACK from heaven?!
 
2013-09-28 10:47:04 PM
It's almost like hypoxia, wanting something desperately and waking up from a dream state have some sort of commonality, even among athiests.

Mind you, it couldn't be physiological and psychological such as meeting God when you're on LSD. No heck no.

If you're going to really work it and make a book of it, look up Isra and Mi'raj.
 
2013-09-28 10:47:25 PM
I smoked opium once, too.

That's what this stupid article is about, right? No? Damnit...reading is hard.
 
2013-09-28 10:51:02 PM
Oh I can't believe it because Richard Dawkins didn't write about it and he's the smartest person in the whole wide world! I'm a millennial and I know everything so stop trying to brainwash me with your garbage!
 
2013-09-28 10:52:45 PM
Approves.

vivoscene.com

/honk like Tina's bass playing
//this is one of my memorial songs if I have one.
 
2013-09-28 10:53:09 PM
> As Piper spoke, some people in the crowd raised their hands and exclaimed "Amen," while others wiped away tears.

There are times when I'd like to abandon my conscience and take a bunch of money from brain-dead Christians. It seems so easy.
 
2013-09-28 10:54:57 PM

FunkOut: I once had a dream that heaven was floating on giant water lilypads in a state of total bliss. Nobody else was there and it was fantastic. No need for celestial beardy fellows or grandma telling you she's been watching you from the great voyeuristic beyond.


Your dream of heaven is the second chapter of an 1863  Charles Kingsley novel?
/Or too much Thai food while pregnant.
 
2013-09-28 10:56:20 PM
Now be nice. He really might not be making it up. The lack of oxygen to the brain during near death is well known to produce this kind of ecstatic hallucination.
 
2013-09-28 10:58:02 PM

enik: Oh I can't believe it because Richard Dawkins didn't write about it and he's the smartest person in the whole wide world! I'm a millennial and I know everything so stop trying to brainwash me with your garbage!


They have medicines now that can help.
 
2013-09-28 10:58:32 PM
I'm generally highly skeptical of these sorts of experiences. And I generally dismiss any of them that have a book for sale afterwards (really?! that's just not classy at all.)

 I guess the only thing I can give this one is that he was pronounced genuinely dead by medical professionals and was that way for a significant period of time (hour and a half?). So that's something.

 And, baring the classless book sale, seems to be trying to use it to help people. So that's good too.

/think I'll just sit on the fence on this one.
 
2013-09-28 10:59:09 PM
"The animals hated Moses because he told tales and did no work, but some of them believed in Sugarcandy Mountain, and the pigs had to argue very hard to persuade them that there was no such place"
 
2013-09-28 11:00:55 PM

Dimensio: Benevolent Misanthrope: Dimensio: [spiritlessons.com image 208x230]

I suspect that his account is no less believable than this woman's.

/Seriously, her claim sounds like the worst sort of adolescent fanfiction.

All religion reads that way to me.

Imagine an adolescent creating fanfiction based upon religion, then.


Mormonism?
 
2013-09-28 11:03:43 PM
Sounds like the basis for a classic Comedy.
 
2013-09-28 11:04:10 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Joke's on him, he doesn't realize he's really just a brain in a jar being fed simulated memories.  But then, neither do you...


d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net
 
2013-09-28 11:05:37 PM

FunkOut: I once had a dream that heaven was floating on giant water lilypads in a state of total bliss. Nobody else was there and it was fantastic. No need for celestial beardy fellows or grandma telling you she's been watching you from the great voyeuristic beyond.

one night I was on LSD and doing whippets. I was sitting in a car listening to the doors. I honestly thought Jim Morrison was in my head.
/and he's still there.

 
2013-09-28 11:10:35 PM
"every bone in his body", I just love that one.
 
2013-09-28 11:10:58 PM
FTFA:  On earth, word quickly spread about the accident and Piper's church began a massive prayer group that spread across the country.   Twenty-five years later, I'm still meeting some of the people who prayed for me," he said.


"And kicking their farking asses for bringing me back from paradise," he thought but did not add.

images.amcnetworks.com


/ Kirk got his ass killed over that, ya know.
 
2013-09-28 11:15:24 PM
When I was in college, my little brother (fraternity, not blood relation) smoked a bunch of weed with PCP in it. God told him to sell all his worldly possessions and live in peace with the gators in Florida.

The only problem is this kid is not very fleet of foot, so it's more likely he's living in PIECES amongst the gators.
 
2013-09-28 11:18:41 PM

whatshisname: Why would anyone come BACK from heaven?!


They prayed him back, and I bet he was really pissed at first. Damned busybodies!
 
2013-09-28 11:20:34 PM
It's acknowledged that he suffered brain damage from his accident, and yet they take it as 'gospel' that he actually went to a heaven with pearly gates(a new imagining of Heaven that was born in the 1800s).
 
2013-09-28 11:21:30 PM

snocone: "every bone in his body", I just love that one.


I don't have a redneck bone in my body, but my old ex once did. The slut.
 
2013-09-28 11:21:32 PM
It was a long road to recovery for Piper, who had brain damage and had broken every bone in his body except for his right arm.

He broke his tiny middle ear bones?  His carpal/tarsal bones?  And each vertebra?  And he's not paralyzed?  That takes some talent.
 
2013-09-28 11:24:08 PM

Sneakytoes: That takes some talent.


Praise Jeebus!
 
2013-09-28 11:24:17 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Dimensio: Benevolent Misanthrope: Dimensio: [spiritlessons.com image 208x230]

I suspect that his account is no less believable than this woman's.

/Seriously, her claim sounds like the worst sort of adolescent fanfiction.

All religion reads that way to me.

Imagine an adolescent creating fanfiction based upon religion, then.

So, 50 Shades for the fire-and-brimstone sadistic fantasy crowd.



The horror, the horror . . .

http://spiritlessons.com/mary_k_baxter_a_divine_revelation_of_hell.h tm


I sometimes wonder what the original bible authors would think of some of the modern interpretations of heaven and hell.


/ judgment is set
 
2013-09-28 11:27:37 PM
Wonderful. Here come all the Fark atheists (aka nattering nabobs of negativism ).

Even if it didn't happen, so what? It is not important whether it actually happened or God inspired him to believe it happened, as long as it inspired others and gives them hope. It just takes faith. The story might even inspire faith in others who have doubt - nothing wrong with that.

Obviously, the minister is an instrument of God and God wants to reach out to us all. Let it be and stop trashing the faithful.
 
2013-09-28 11:29:58 PM

Sneakytoes: It was a long road to recovery for Piper, who had brain damage and had broken every bone in his body except for his right arm.

He broke his tiny middle ear bones?  His carpal/tarsal bones?  And each vertebra?  And he's not paralyzed?  That takes some talent.


The casts were a beyotch to put on those ear bones.
 
2013-09-28 11:30:14 PM
Is Heaven like Disneyland with fog up to your shins or like that Eisher drawing with all the stairs 90 degrees to each other?
 
2013-09-28 11:35:43 PM

Sneakytoes: It was a long road to recovery for Piper, who had brain damage and had broken every bone in his body except for his right arm.

He broke his tiny middle ear bones?  His carpal/tarsal bones?  And each vertebra?  And he's not paralyzed?  That takes some talent.


My money is on Evel Knievel. If breaking bones gets you to heaven, he's the man.
But, ya know, with that there Christian god, maybe it is breaking other people's bones.
Then I would go with Chuck Norris.

Yea baby.
 
2013-09-28 11:38:12 PM

phrawgh: Wonderful. Here come all the Fark atheists (aka nattering nabobs of negativism ).

Even if it didn't happen, so what? It is not important whether it actually happened or God inspired him to believe it happened, as long as it inspired others and gives them hope. It just takes faith. The story might even inspire faith in others who have doubt - nothing wrong with that.

Obviously, the minister is an instrument of God and God wants to reach out to us all. Let it be and stop trashing the faithful.


It's great until the faithful start using things like this as proof that everyone in the country should live the way they believe is correct.
 
2013-09-28 11:40:06 PM

jayessell: Is Heaven like Disneyland with fog up to your shins or like that Eisher drawing with all the stairs 90 degrees to each other?


Both...Stair Drawing, only each step is covered in fog up to your neck.
 
2013-09-28 11:40:39 PM
Interesting. I don't suppose there is a news account of the original accident.
 
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