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(Some Really Paranoid Guy)   This brave man dares ask the question on all of our minds: Are militant atheists using chemtrails to poison angels?   (usahitman.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, large aircraft, dengue fever, Agent Orange, rural america, fluoridation, United States government, DDT  
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5524 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2013 at 9:03 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



150 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-28 08:33:49 AM  
I hunt 'em. They are way more challenging than ducks. Birdshot won't take out an angel, you need buckshot to knock those farkers out of the sky. And at least three dogs to retrieve them.
 
2013-09-28 08:37:52 AM  
Really? Angels are susceptible to poison? Just how dumb do you think we are?
 
2013-09-28 08:52:34 AM  
Yes. Yes we are.

MuhahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAAAAACK*cough*cough*

Ahem.
 
2013-09-28 09:01:35 AM  
Clearly the astonishing rise of militant atheism in America must factor in. So what is the ultimate answer to the mystery of the chemtrails? Have Heaven's angels forsaken us for such an offensive maneuver? Or are they actually losing, dying off in plumes of jetliner butchery? Surely America's atheists in the great halls of government are asking these very same questions

Clearly and surely he doesn't seem to realize atheists don't believe in angels either.
 
2013-09-28 09:05:21 AM  
Yes! And I'd do it again! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
 
2013-09-28 09:06:54 AM  
What

...

the

...

FARK?
 
2013-09-28 09:07:21 AM  

McCaesar: Clearly the astonishing rise of militant atheism in America must factor in. So what is the ultimate answer to the mystery of the chemtrails? Have Heaven's angels forsaken us for such an offensive maneuver? Or are they actually losing, dying off in plumes of jetliner butchery? Surely America's atheists in the great halls of government are asking these very same questions

Clearly and surely he doesn't seem to realize atheists don't believe in angels either.


He's whackadoodle, there's no way he'll realize anything.
 
2013-09-28 09:07:35 AM  
Hey NSA,

Not to tell you your jobs or anything.  Maybe, just maybe, instead of listening to every American's phone calls, you should send someone to have a conversation with a guy like this.  You know who's information is freely given, publicly available, and can be found in a 3 minute Google search.

I know this one is a long shot, but just saying.
 
2013-09-28 09:08:42 AM  
Militant atheists? Are they like intense nihilists?
 
2013-09-28 09:09:13 AM  
Isn't schizophrenia such a wonderful thing? Something tells me that a bunch of funny white men in funny white suits are coming to take him away.
 
2013-09-28 09:09:21 AM  
Chemtrails are the aerial spraying trails left by large aircraft, both commercial and federal, that are not associated with farming. Millions of images of these sky dispersals can be found on the internet. You will see thick plumes of dense whiteness ejected from the backs of jetliners with purposeful squirts. They are not continuous, but rather sporadic when planes reach a particular altitude. When such substances are released, they become hyper-heated in the atmosphere to attain a canopy-like distribution above targeted regions. Leaked images of these chemical containers in the bodies of large-sized aircraft regularly surface on the internet, underscoring the veracity of these claims.

Well, I'm convinced!  Did you see all those big words he used?  Plus, he mentioned that you can find examples on the internet.  They can't put things on the internet unless they're real.
 
2013-09-28 09:09:34 AM  
And this guy votes and can buy any gun he has the cash for. Sleep tight America!
 
2013-09-28 09:11:38 AM  
Please somebody tell me this is satire.
 
2013-09-28 09:12:11 AM  
No.

However I like the idea of someone not believing in a god, but for reason thinking that angels are real...and a threat.
 
2013-09-28 09:12:17 AM  

EvilEgg: I hunt 'em. They are way more challenging than ducks. Birdshot won't take out an angel, you need buckshot to knock those farkers out of the sky. And at least three dogs to retrieve them.


Well worth it. My mouth is watering just thinking about their sweet ethereal flesh.
 
2013-09-28 09:12:29 AM  

Bslim: Militant atheists? Are they like intense nihilists?


You can tell by the extremely long posts they make on the internet.
 
2013-09-28 09:13:04 AM  
The atheists are so insanely dedicated to their obscene cult they will try just about anything to destroy every remnant of Christian Love on this earth.

lulz
 
2013-09-28 09:15:40 AM  
You will see thick plumes of dense whiteness ejected from the backs of jetliners with purposeful squirts.

Dense whiteness and purposeful squirts?

No, I'm not going to make that joke.  I will be content with thinking it.
 
2013-09-28 09:16:20 AM  
Is there a bag limit on angels?
 
2013-09-28 09:17:54 AM  
Chemtrails are the aerial spraying trails left by large aircraft, both commercial and federal, that are not associated with farming. Millions of images of these sky dispersals can be found on the internet. You will see thick plumes of dense whiteness ejected from the backs of jetliners with purposeful squirts. They are not continuous, but rather sporadic when planes reach a particular altitude. When such substances are released, they become hyper-heated in the atmosphere to attain a canopy-like distribution above targeted regions.

The exceptional heat at 30,000 feet, most familiar to laymen through the tales of those whose attempts to scale the great desert mountain of Everest end in heatstroke and hallucination.
 
2013-09-28 09:18:52 AM  
Actually the chemtrails were put there by Christians to kill the God of Athiests.

Apparently, it is super effective...
 
2013-09-28 09:18:54 AM  

kim jong-un: Is there a bag limit on angels?


However many can fit on the head of a pin.
 
2013-09-28 09:19:31 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: The atheists are so insanely dedicated to their obscene cult they will try just about anything to destroy every remnant of Christian Love on this earth.

lulz


It's a shame that the Christian god is so weak and feeble.
 
2013-09-28 09:19:52 AM  
They are not continuous, but rather sporadic when planes reach a particular altitude. When such substances are released, they become hyper-heated in the atmosphere to attain a canopy-like distribution above targeted regions.

It's hotter up there because it's closer to the sun.
 
2013-09-28 09:20:32 AM  
You will see thick plumes of dense whiteness ejected from the backs of jetliners with purposeful squirts.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-28 09:22:05 AM  
With the scourges of typhus, malaria and dengue fever raging through communities in the 1940s, the United States government did a curious thing. They loaded up airplanes with the chemical DDT and commenced aerial spraying to wipe out the insects spreading these diseases.
...
For those of us who grew up in farming communities, this technology is not an abstract concept. Crop dusting is a common site in rural America. It's an essential way to spread seed and pesticide. We encounter it often in the planting season.
Is this guy serious? DDT is a pesticide that is highly effective in killing mosquitoes and other insects that carry disease like typhus, malaria, dengue, etc. And considering that mosquitoes lay eggs in water and most of these areas are hard to get to, flying and spraying DDT would be the most logical solution. So why would it be curious?
And why would crop dusting farmers be normal? They're spreading pesticides over fields to kill insects that kill crops. Any good conspiracy theorist worth their salt would be pouncing on this and claiming that we're genetically modifying crops for some insidious purpose that falls in line with the Reptilian-Annunaki-New World Order secret government's plan for global domination.
 
2013-09-28 09:22:07 AM  
The first thing that popped into my head when I read the headline. "If grandma was alive, she would believe this!"
 
2013-09-28 09:22:13 AM  
These guys could probably help

d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2013-09-28 09:22:25 AM  

Albino Squid: Chemtrails are the aerial spraying trails left by large aircraft, both commercial and federal, that are not associated with farming. Millions of images of these sky dispersals can be found on the internet. You will see thick plumes of dense whiteness ejected from the backs of jetliners with purposeful squirts. They are not continuous, but rather sporadic when planes reach a particular altitude. When such substances are released, they become hyper-heated in the atmosphere to attain a canopy-like distribution above targeted regions.

The exceptional heat at 30,000 feet, most familiar to laymen through the tales of those whose attempts to scale the great desert mountain of Everest end in heatstroke and hallucination.


I think he meant hypo-heated.
 
2013-09-28 09:22:46 AM  
It must be nice to be so crazy that you have no self-doubt like that.
 
2013-09-28 09:22:49 AM  
every time I hear the word "Chemtrail " I get a little stabby.
 
2013-09-28 09:24:27 AM  
" Our heavens are coated in a thick aerosol haze of spiritual hate and this nation's faith is sinking."

Atheist haze running thru my brain,
Lately things they don't seem the same,
Acting funny but I don't know why,
'Scuse me while I gay marry this guy!
 
2013-09-28 09:24:27 AM  
I like dicing angels with helicopters.
 
2013-09-28 09:24:42 AM  
FTFA: President George W. Bush famously fought against the scientists entrenched in his administration. At many points they promoted evolution "theory" and "global warming" over good old-fashioned common sense. They tried to uproot Christianity in our schools through activist judges. And while President Bush fought the good fight, he ultimately did not win the battle.

My favorite part, the page has been up for longer than a month : 0 Comments.

No One wants touch that steaming pile of crazy.
 
2013-09-28 09:26:54 AM  

vwarb: It must be nice to be so crazy that you have no self-doubt like that.


Sanity is a one trick pony. All it gives you is logical thinking. But when you're good and crazy, who hoo hoo, the sky's the limit!
 
2013-09-28 09:28:02 AM  
As much as I don't like to generalize, anytime someone seriously mentions "chemtrails" I know they have nothing else to offer
 
2013-09-28 09:28:18 AM  
I bet this guy was STOKED to get the Internet, and not just have to bother Art Bell day after day.
 
2013-09-28 09:28:18 AM  
When I was just out of school (early 90's) I dealt with a guy sort of like this.  He was lucid, thoughtful, articulate and completely insane.  He was utterly convinced that he was 'Tommy', as in The Who.  He had volumes of evidence (all of which he produced himself by writing it in the form of notes, memoirs, etc.) and he could clearly explain every piece of it.  Of course, intermixed in all of his 'Tommy' proof was information about George Bush trying to assassinate him, the CIA dumping malathion in his house and so on.  I originally thought he was harmless enough, just a little nutty.  That was not so.  I have no idea if it's typical with these types, but he had a very dark facet to his personality and I have no doubt that he would have eventually acted upon it.  Anyway, the guy loved to write.  Everyone needed to know what he knew.  It was as though he felt that he owed it to society.  That, and he really wanted me to track down Roger Daltrey for him.
 
2013-09-28 09:29:32 AM  

zzrhardy: Actually the chemtrails were put there by Christians to kill the God of Athiests.

Apparently, it is super effective...


geekystamps.weebly.com
 
2013-09-28 09:29:34 AM  
Thanks Obama.
 
2013-09-28 09:29:44 AM  
I went on a very nice date once with my friend's brother that ended abruptly when he began a diatribe on chemtrails. When I told his sister about our evening the next day, she said "In his defense, he's stupid."
 
2013-09-28 09:29:44 AM  
Wait, is this parody or does this guy actually mean it?   I used to be good at knowing what was parody and what wasn't, but in recent years I honestly am having more and more difficulty telling the two apart.
 
2013-09-28 09:30:39 AM  
Okay, he got me. On  http://www.lipstickalley.com/f246/militant-atheists-using-chemtrails- p oison-angels-541298/  the story is attributed to Stephenson Billings, the same author of other parodies on Christwire.
 
2013-09-28 09:34:02 AM  
www.bentoandstarchky.com
 
pla
2013-09-28 09:34:05 AM  
No.  The chemtrails merely spread weak hallucinogens to increase the number of people having completely silly "religious" experiences, thereby diluting the whole idea of your "god".

The airplanes do have active anti-angelic defense systems, but they've largely gone unused ever since Reagan sent those androgynous bastards fleeing for the silver city back in 1981.  What, you really thought he gave two shiats about some petty union negotiations?  Nope - Bobby Inman, then-head of the NSA and now head of Academi/Xe/Blackwater (by no small coincidence the largest non-government controlled military in the world), carefully arranged the PATCO strike, so we could mave nothing but "inside" men at the radar consoles.  This, then, left no evidence of the launch of the 13th fleet into hyperdimensional space to neutralize the en-route JHVH2 (aka "second coming") wave of those winged freaks.  Eschaton my arseWe make the plans around here, and after going through so much trouble to close that "virgin birth" wormhole[1], we have no intention of giving up a footsoulsecond of ground ever again!

So have no fears, friend - We've already secured American airspace from any annoying angelic influence, and any religious experiences you may still have come straight from Merck (or actual psychosis - It becomes increasingly difficult to tell the difference).


1) Oh, BTW, you really shouldn't let yourself get so worked up about the implications of all this - As a side effect of closing the wormhole, no one born since we finished the job at Bikini in 1958 has had a soul anyway.  You have as much right to "heaven" as does your dog or your lawnmower.

/ Have a nice day.  And breathe deeply, I arranged for a little something special in the 1430 fly-by of your county.
 
2013-09-28 09:34:56 AM  
As with most of the lunatics like junior Jones here, you can usually just search their site for a keyword like 'chemtrails' and find past articles that directly conflict with their current claims.  Today chemtrails are killing angels while yesterday, they were part of a weapon we were building to combat UFO's.

You can not be taken seriously if you believe every conspiracy theory is true because they contradict each other often.

Anyone listen to Mysterious Universe Podcast?  The contradictions in the beliefs is very entertaining.  Are ghosts the results of dead people or are they Sasquatch shadow people from another universe?
 
2013-09-28 09:35:03 AM  
We need to find where he lives. That way, we can have somebody dress up in an angel costume, run up and ring his doorbell, then when he opens the door beg for protection.
"Please hide me, they're after me...the militant atheists!"
 
2013-09-28 09:35:05 AM  
Could be a cousin of the guy that Lileks has been writing about.
About 6 paragraphs down the page.
 
2013-09-28 09:38:11 AM  

Mayhem_2006: Please somebody tell me this is satire.


Yes, and a clumsy, hamfisted one that I got bored with 3 paragraphs in.
 
2013-09-28 09:40:00 AM  

Richard C Stanford: Isn't schizophrenia such a wonderful thing? Something tells me that a bunch of funny white men in funny white suits are coming to take him away.



s3.amazonaws.com
Why, that's racist, old bean.
 
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