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(BBC)   England could run out of burial space in twenty years, forcing the English to find somewhere else to die   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 70
    More: Interesting, England, Ministry of Justice, English, University of York, Crawley, sports field  
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1280 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2013 at 12:40 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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vpb [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 12:01:06 PM
Couldn't they just dig them up and arrange them decoratively the way the French do?
 
2013-09-27 12:03:59 PM

vpb: Couldn't they just dig them up and arrange them decoratively the way the French do?


I was thinking of the same thing.  That is so grim yet so freaking cool.
 
2013-09-27 12:19:11 PM
You have rocks and you're surrounded by water. Figure it out.
 
2013-09-27 12:23:04 PM
Vertical graves. Push old graves down another 6ft. Encourage more cremations. Failing that, go with what Sybarite said. Simple.
 
2013-09-27 12:26:13 PM

Sybarite: You have rocks and you're surrounded by water. Figure it out.


Seriously. Throw my ashes in the sea. I always loved it more anyway.
 
2013-09-27 12:26:40 PM

Sybarite: You have rocks and you're surrounded by water. Figure it out.


Are they very small rocks?  That float?
 
2013-09-27 12:27:40 PM
I wouldn't want to be buried anyway.  My hope is to be bronzed in a menacing pose and set up as a statue in a park somewhere so I can terrify small children for eternity.
 
2013-09-27 12:42:00 PM
The Pakistanis just figured out how to make new land. Maybe England can try mud volcanoes.
 
2013-09-27 12:42:26 PM
I thought that was what southern Spain was for.
 
2013-09-27 12:43:02 PM
reading.kingrat.biz
/hot
 
2013-09-27 12:44:08 PM
Cremation always has made so much more sense than burial.  I can't really see a reason that so many people would rather be buried.  I like the old Viking ideas best.  Build a pyre on a boat.  Sail it and shoot it with flaming arrows.  It's a cool way to go and leaves no mess.
 
2013-09-27 12:44:22 PM
I thought you rented burial plots in Europe. When your time is up; they dig you up. I guess they give you to a middle school science teacher, or something.
 
2013-09-27 12:45:07 PM
"When there's no more room in hell English cemeteries, the dead will walk the earth."
 
2013-09-27 12:45:59 PM
Maybe people will grow up and start doing something less moronic with their remains before that happens.

/I found a place that will cremate you and place your ashes into firework mortars that your loved ones can shoot off.
 
2013-09-27 12:46:30 PM
Cremate.  Put ashes into fireworks.  Entertain bereaved.
 
2013-09-27 12:46:39 PM

gnosis301: "When there's no more room in hell English cemeteries, the dead will walk the earth."


But I don't want to wait that long!
 
2013-09-27 12:49:15 PM

Sybarite: You have rocks and you're surrounded by water. Figure it out.


What if they weigh the same as a duck?
 
2013-09-27 12:49:56 PM
Burial is stupid anyway
 
2013-09-27 12:50:08 PM
Put me under a tree and let the woodland creatures feast. Considering the number of animals I've eaten in my lifetime, it's just desserts.
 
2013-09-27 12:51:17 PM
They used to offer to turn us into diamonds, some kind of crushing machine I imagine. I don't like diamonds though, too showy, I'd be happy being turned into some wool or a small dog, anything really except a diamond.
 
2013-09-27 12:52:28 PM
There was some manner of cock-up regarding me dole and next fing I know that tosser from Beeb took the piss outta me biscuit.
 
2013-09-27 12:53:01 PM
Dump 'em in the Thames.

or burn them up, crackle crackle crackle
 
2013-09-27 12:54:14 PM
Big rocks sink slower than little rocks. The Titanic spent an hour sinking. If the rock is big enough it becomes an island and floats. Simple science, people.
 
2013-09-27 12:54:20 PM

durbnpoisn: Cremation always has made so much more sense than burial.  I can't really see a reason that so many people would rather be buried.  I like the old Viking ideas best.  Build a pyre on a boat.  Sail it and shoot it with flaming arrows.  It's a cool way to go and leaves no mess.


I, like you, love to watch stuff on TV about "Vikings"

While I assume you use the term "cool" figuratively, I can assure you it does leave a mess. A nasty, bloated, rotten, poisoning mess.

RIP Ganges
 
2013-09-27 12:55:48 PM
Has anybody else read Bill Bryson's "At Home"?

In it he talks about how the height of the land in rural England ,around churches especially, has been raised over the years. Due to all the people  buried and the dirt excavated to put them there.
 
2013-09-27 12:55:56 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-27 12:57:26 PM
I have no preference as to how my body is disposed. So cremation, I guess.

My wife wants to be mummified.

She likes mummies.
 
2013-09-27 12:57:49 PM
Found a quote from the book regarding this topic;


"'Have you ever noticed,' Brian (a local archaeologist) said as we stepped into the church-yard (next door) how country churches nearly always seem to be sinking into the ground? Well, it isn't because the church is sinking... It's because the churchyard has risen. How many people do you suppose are buried here?'"
The answer, arrived at after a bit of calculation and estimation, was twenty thousand burials in that one churchyard. No wonder the church appeared to be "in a slight depression, like a weight placed on a cushion."
 
2013-09-27 12:58:27 PM
Come to think of it, now that I've already posted, being enclosed in a lucite cube could be cool. Action pose. Slight sneer, like I usually have.
 
2013-09-27 12:58:53 PM
Soylent Green anyone?
 
2013-09-27 12:59:01 PM
I'd rather have my body launched into space, towards a distant galaxy.
 
2013-09-27 01:01:24 PM
Cremation. Either spend thousands of dollars on embalming and preparation costs, thousands of dollars on the casket, thousands of dollars on the plot and headstone and upkeep, and thousands of dollars on the service for people to have to endure your dead presence, or spend a couple hundred to be burned and a couple hundred for a niche and plaque or simply be scattered somewhere neat.

Average funeral costs with vault but without monument or similar is $8,343 (http://nfda.org/about-funeral-service-/trends-and-statistics.html); friends, toss my body into a fire, leave me to spread to the winds, take the remaining $8,200 you did not spend on a sufficient bonfire and proper scotch to be passed around, and head to Las Vegas.
 
2013-09-27 01:04:02 PM
Do same thing you do when there are to many people living in one area, build up, skyscaper masoleums.
 
2013-09-27 01:04:25 PM

Snarfangel: gnosis301: "When there's no more room in hell English cemeteries, the dead will walk the earth."

But I don't want to wait that long!


Get back in the ground, you.
 
2013-09-27 01:05:09 PM
There's always New Jersey....
 
2013-09-27 01:15:01 PM

id10ts: Soylent Green anyone?


No thanks, I had some red hots.
 
2013-09-27 01:18:06 PM
"And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes may have been we commit your final mortal remains to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean."

/Good night, sweet prince
 
2013-09-27 01:19:17 PM

robohobo: Come to think of it, now that I've already posted, being enclosed in a lucite cube could be cool. Action pose. Slight sneer, like I usually have.


I want to be shot out of a cannon to become someone else's problem.
 
2013-09-27 01:22:03 PM

vpb: Couldn't they just dig them up and arrange them decoratively the way the French do?


The French are still a bit touchy about the last time they had to build a mass grave...

www.st-georges-fr.com
 
2013-09-27 01:23:07 PM
That's strange, I thought all of Britain's elderly had already been shipped off to somewhere in the south of France or the Iberian peninsula.
 
2013-09-27 01:25:15 PM
Use them to fertilize potatos in Ireland.
 
2013-09-27 01:26:19 PM
Why can't they just reuse old gravesite? The bodies decomposed right?
 
2013-09-27 01:26:34 PM
Didn't they do something similar in the years after the Plague? I think most of Europe has been doing that kind of thing for centuries.
It's Friday and I'm too lazy to look it up.

They ought to be able to find a little more land, I've been to England and it has swaths of countryside, they could use some of it to plan some new cemeteries. Maybe they can build the vaults where they place you into a cubby and cement a stone over the end.

Heck, an old Necropolis like the Romans, Greeks, and Egyptians had would work. I'm sure there are some perfectly good hills.

/Just beware the barrow-wights.
 
2013-09-27 01:36:38 PM
I would have thought England had faced and dealt with this problem a long time ago. Evidently, I was wrong.

I don't care what you do with me (preference: being shipped off to a room full of medical school students), but whatever it is, PLEASE MAKE SURE I'M DEFINITELY DEAD.

/"hey! that tickles! quit it!"
 
2013-09-27 01:37:19 PM

YoOjo: They used to offer to turn us into diamonds, some kind of crushing machine I imagine. I don't like diamonds though, too showy, I'd be happy being turned into some wool or a small dog, anything really except a diamond.


Shine on.
 
2013-09-27 01:38:45 PM

Vangor: Cremation. Either spend thousands of dollars on embalming and preparation costs, thousands of dollars on the casket, thousands of dollars on the plot and headstone and upkeep, and thousands of dollars on the service for people to have to endure your dead presence, or spend a couple hundred to be burned and a couple hundred for a niche and plaque or simply be scattered somewhere neat.

Average funeral costs with vault but without monument or similar is $8,343 (http://nfda.org/about-funeral-service-/trends-and-statistics.html); friends, toss my body into a fire, leave me to spread to the winds, take the remaining $8,200 you did not spend on a sufficient bonfire and proper scotch to be passed around, and head to Las Vegas.


What parts of the linked cost breakdown would apply to a cremation service?  Let's say my father passes away in New Jersey but plans to be cremated and have his cremains buried next to my mother in New Hampshire.  Can I get the cremation done locally without the services of a funeral director here, drive the remains up to NH myself and hand them off to a funeral director there?  Or am I going to have to pay two FDs, one to move the body from the Hospital to the crematory and another to manage the services in NH?
 
2013-09-27 01:40:20 PM
Couldn't they use dead bodies as landfill, and expand the island?

In the year 13,427, England has successfully reclaimed the Atlantic Ocean.
 
2013-09-27 01:45:29 PM

steve_wmn: Vangor: Cremation. Either spend thousands of dollars on embalming and preparation costs, thousands of dollars on the casket, thousands of dollars on the plot and headstone and upkeep, and thousands of dollars on the service for people to have to endure your dead presence, or spend a couple hundred to be burned and a couple hundred for a niche and plaque or simply be scattered somewhere neat.

Average funeral costs with vault but without monument or similar is $8,343 (http://nfda.org/about-funeral-service-/trends-and-statistics.html); friends, toss my body into a fire, leave me to spread to the winds, take the remaining $8,200 you did not spend on a sufficient bonfire and proper scotch to be passed around, and head to Las Vegas.

What parts of the linked cost breakdown would apply to a cremation service?  Let's say my father passes away in New Jersey but plans to be cremated and have his cremains buried next to my mother in New Hampshire.  Can I get the cremation done locally without the services of a funeral director here, drive the remains up to NH myself and hand them off to a funeral director there?  Or am I going to have to pay two FDs, one to move the body from the Hospital to the crematory and another to manage the services in NH?


My brother had my mother's remains cremated in Michigan where she died and then he transported her to Pennsylvania later in the year when we were able to get all 3 of her children together back in our home town. We had a very nice memorial service for family and friends, then took Mom on a boat ride and sent her down the Allegheny to follow Dad.

Only one FD involved.
 
2013-09-27 01:52:37 PM
Britain has some sort of protectorate status thing with Belize doesn't it?
They can send all their old folks to Belize.
 
2013-09-27 02:01:52 PM
CptnSpldng:
My brother had my mother's remains cremated in Michigan where she died and then he transported her to Pennsylvania later in the year when we were able to get all 3 of her children together back in our home town. We had a very nice memorial service for family and friends, then took Mom on a boat ride and sent her down the Allegheny to follow Dad.

Only one FD involved.


Thanks.  Sure is dusty in here.
 
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