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(Daily Mail)   Not News: Bartender refuses to serve a woman wine. News: Because she is pregnant. Fark: She is so humiliated and embarrassed she runs to the Daily Mail to complain   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 42
    More: Ironic, bartenders, Daily Mail  
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14021 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2013 at 11:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-27 11:53:34 AM  
4 votes:
Seeing as he cares so deeply for others' healthy living choices, I can see why he went into bartending.
2013-09-27 11:47:25 AM  
4 votes:
Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.
2013-09-27 12:31:07 PM  
3 votes:
Ok, as a former bartender, this is something that really pisses me off.  You're (mostly) all hypocrites.
Either give the bartenders the power to refuse to serve anyone at any time for any reason or -
Absolve them of any responsibility for any accidents, problems, defects or issues with the fact that you drank.
As a bartender, I'm legally liable if you go and do something stupid after drinking.
If you kill someone, their family can sue me.
If you have a stillborn baby, you can sue me. (Probably - I don't know this for a fact)
If you cause an accident, several people could sue me.
If I serve someone, I can be found liable by a prosecutor and get a ticket.
The worst part is that whoever the last bartender was is the one who is solely responsible.
IE, you're out at some bar all night drinking, but you stop by my bar on your way home.  All you have to do is not be too drunk to walk in without stumbling, and be able to say "Bud".  Once I put the beer down in front of you, I'm legally liable.
Did this bartender know where she had been all night?  If she'd had other drinks?  If she's an alcoholic who drinks at home?  He's legally responsible for her welfare after she leaves his bar.
He should have the power, authority and responsibility to refuse her alcohol if he's responsible for her.
2013-09-27 12:24:52 PM  
3 votes:
Frankly, I don't think either person is really in the worng here.  The Bartender acted in what he felt was good faith given the circumstances.  The woman seems to be confident that a small amount of alcohol consumption isn't a significant threat to her pregnancy.  All this is is a difference of opinion.

Personally, having married a high-school teacher at a school that specializes in kids with F.A.S. as well as other conditions (autism, behavioural disorders, drug dependencies, etc.) I can totally understand the Bartender's hesitation.  Foetal Alcohol Syndrome has a huge (and lifelong) impact on people.  There's certainly some debate on whether complete abstention from alcohol is always necessary, but the majority of medical advice still seems to land on the side of caution.

What I don't understand is why she decided it's worthy of the Press.  It's one guy saying he didn't want to give a pregant lady a drink.  Besides, if drinking alcohol is THAT important to you, I think it suggests a much bigger underlying problem.
2013-09-27 11:52:41 AM  
3 votes:

reillan: Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.


That's my take as well. You can't expect the bartender to be up to date on the latest Fetal Alcohol Syndrome research. He's being cautious and there's nothing wrong with that.
2013-09-27 12:24:28 PM  
2 votes:
I've never given the stink-eye to pregnant woman with a glass of wine in her hand.  What I have given the stink-eye to, and started a verbal altercation with, was a woman doing shots at the bar while holding her 3-month-old.  This was late at night at a semi-crowded bar before the smoking bans had taken effect.  She and her drunk-ass husband then proceeded to tell me and my friends that because we were from out of town, that we didn't know how things were done 'round here and we should go back to the big city.  That's an enduring impression of Ocean City MD that I'll never forget.
2013-09-27 12:13:34 PM  
2 votes:
The woman is an asshat.

/not because she wanted a drink
//but because she ran to the Daily Fail.
2013-09-27 12:10:36 PM  
2 votes:

reillan: Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.


I totally agree with him. Serving alcohol to a pregnant woman is the equivalent to serving alcohol to a minor. That is the bar's responsibility, not her's. Go Barkeep. Kudos.
2013-09-27 12:04:16 PM  
2 votes:
When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, we went out to dinner with her mom.  She really wanted a glass of wine but was very self-consious about drinking while visibly pregnant, even though she knew it was okay.  I ordered a botttle of wine and the server brought three glasses, turned to my wife, and said something along the lines of, "I hope you're going to enjoy some of this wonderful bottle."  It totally put her at ease and was an overall great gesture.  He got a little extra tip for that.

/csb
2013-09-27 11:57:26 AM  
2 votes:
Pregnant women can drink about a half glass a day with absolutely no issues. In fact, it may have benefits. My wife agonized over it because she's a wine person but after reading all the research she was comfortable, as was I.

Nobody ever had an issue serving her and she never had more than a half glass.
2013-09-27 11:55:27 AM  
2 votes:

ToastTheRabbit: Honestly,

Why take the risk? Your child is not able to say no... at the very least it cant ask for the good stuff.


There's no risk in having a small glass every few days.
2013-09-27 11:52:51 AM  
2 votes:

SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.


Why should she be humiliated? There's never been research that says "taking a single drink while pregnant is evil", only hysterics.
2013-09-27 03:41:30 PM  
1 votes:
If a women is pregnant, then the fetus consumes what ever the mother consumes. So if the bartender had served her, he would of been serving the fetus too, therefore serving a minor.
2013-09-27 03:00:12 PM  
1 votes:

meanmutton: Gothnet: SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.

Why should she be humiliated? There's never been research that says "taking a single drink while pregnant is evil", only hysterics.

"Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive because damage can occur in the earliest weeks of pregnancy, even before a woman knows that she is pregnant." -- The noted hysterics at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.


You do realize prior to pasteurization and available clean water EVERYONE including children drank MAINLY wine and beer right? If this were even slightly true half true 95% would have FAS.

Snakeophelia: EHe denied her a single glass of wine because he was worried about the health of her child. She could have just gone to another bar, or to the store.

Can't wait to see what type of mother she'll be.


Annnnnd... how would you feel if a waiter refused to serve an overweight person? Really, its none of his business. It's not like she was getting sloppy here.
2013-09-27 02:00:37 PM  
1 votes:

cgraves67: reillan: Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.

That's my take as well. You can't expect the bartender to be up to date on the latest Fetal Alcohol Syndrome research. He's being cautious and there's nothing wrong with that.


How does he even know she is pregnant?  For all he knows, she's just fat.  It's none of his business.
2013-09-27 01:56:47 PM  
1 votes:

Joe1549: She might want to explore treatment for alcoholism if she can't even stop for a few months.


Why? There's no reason to stop, and the odd drink has no risk.

You should probably check that bacon addiction if you can't stop arbitrarily for a couple of years at my demand. What's that? You like bacon? Irrelevant, you're clearly an addict if you don't stop right now because I say so.
2013-09-27 01:50:52 PM  
1 votes:
When pregnant my dr. told me a glass of red wine was good for me and the baby, so I'm getting a kick out of some of these responses, and the bartender's failure to tend bar.
2013-09-27 12:54:52 PM  
1 votes:

Doom On You: If he had served her that drink and she felt even the least bit tipsy afterward, perhaps tripping and falling and hurting the baby, he'd be the one getting blamed because he served her the alcohol.  The bartender felt he was making the best decision at that moment.  Pregatroll needs to get over herself.


Disagree, unless you can cite a bartender being sued because someone who was not obviously inebriated was served and then hurt themselves. If she isn't intoxicated serve her. Don't get me wrong, her running to the media makes her a douchy troll but bartender was overly cautious in my opinion.
2013-09-27 12:47:43 PM  
1 votes:

Edymnion: I like how everybody is harping on the "one small glass a week won't harm the baby" without noticing the obvious.

The bartender has no way of knowing how much she drinks, or if she is aware of what the limits should be.  For all he knows she was ordering alcohol with every meal three times a day.

He erred on the side of caution.  He made the right call.



It's not really his decision to make though, it's overly paternalistic. His job is to make sure he doesn't serve people who are already drunk, or underage. Nothing more.
2013-09-27 12:45:37 PM  
1 votes:

Khryswhy: Did this bartender know where she had been all night? If she'd had other drinks? If she's an alcoholic who drinks at home? He's legally responsible for her welfare after she leaves his bar.
He should have the power, authority and responsibility to refuse her alcohol if he's responsible for her.


Then he should never serve anyone, ever.

Also no, in the UK he is in trouble if he serves someone obviously already intoxicated (never enforced) but not responsible for them.

inglixthemad: I remember that women were told to quit smoking & drinking at all during pregnancy or DOOM WILL BEFALL BABY! Also you had better eat healthy, take it easy (no workout), avoid sex, et al.


They've certainly been told that at various times, but it never had the backing of evidence, fact, rationality, all those good things. The very fact we don't have entire generations with FAS after women were encouraged to drink guiness when pregnant ought to tell you that.
AFAIK it's still wise to cut out smoking entirely. But that's true whether pregnant or not!
2013-09-27 12:44:20 PM  
1 votes:
I like how everybody is harping on the "one small glass a week won't harm the baby" without noticing the obvious.

The bartender has no way of knowing how much she drinks, or if she is aware of what the limits should be.  For all he knows she was ordering alcohol with every meal three times a day.

He erred on the side of caution.  He made the right call.
2013-09-27 12:38:43 PM  
1 votes:
As far as I know, and I could be wrong, a bartender is not required to serve anyone regardless of the reason.
I do know that trying to argue with a bartender after they have refused you will 100% not lead to you getting a drink, regardless of the excuse.
2013-09-27 12:32:50 PM  
1 votes:

Gothnet: No link to any trouble in pregnancy has been found to light drinking, a unit or two a few times a week.
The NHS advice is overly conservative.
The bartender is a hysterical asshat.


I remember that women were told to quit smoking & drinking at all during pregnancy or DOOM WILL BEFALL BABY! Also you had better eat healthy, take it easy (no workout), avoid sex, et al.

Bartender just didn't get the update.
2013-09-27 12:30:21 PM  
1 votes:

The_Sponge: CSB:

I worked at a winery back in 2002, and during our alcohol server training, we were told not to turn down service to a pregnant woman.


Exactly - because a pregnant woman in need of a class of wine can probably claim temporary insanity in the trial for your murder if you deny her.  It's just safer to hand it over.
2013-09-27 12:21:10 PM  
1 votes:

The_Sponge: CSB:

I worked at a winery back in 2002, and during our alcohol server training, we were told not to turn down service to a pregnant woman.


It's against the ADA.

/probably covered up thread.
//tldr
2013-09-27 12:18:05 PM  
1 votes:
News flash:  Bars and liqour stores can refuse to serve anyone at any time for any reason they see fit.  Consider the position they are in, in this day and age.  If they sell to someone who is (for instance) already drunk, and that person kills someone in a car wreck on the way home, the bar can be sued.

I remember when I was 22 or so, I walked into the store to buy a 12-pack and the guy at the register refused to serve me.  I was like, "WTF?!".  He essentially said, "You look drunk already."  In reality, I was not drunk.  I had just woken up from a nap.  (Musta been a really good nap)

Whatever...  The point is, even though it was kinda embarassing, I had nothing else to say on the matter.  I walked out and went to a different store.
2013-09-27 12:16:38 PM  
1 votes:
lh3.ggpht.com

Your slipping fark.
2013-09-27 12:09:09 PM  
1 votes:

ocd002: I'm all for giving the preggo whatever she wants, but you have to figure people are going to stinkeye you if you are pregnant and drinking in public.


Generally not so much in the UK AFAICT, publicly judging the behaviour of the pregnant is an American hobby.
2013-09-27 12:06:02 PM  
1 votes:
All I could think of was this skit.
http://youtu.be/phVCN6TxdCg

That said, if the new research says a drink a week is ok, it probably is. However, the bartender has no way of knowing if it's her first drink of the week or her 30th.

I'm all for giving the preggo whatever she wants, but you have to figure people are going to stinkeye you if you are pregnant and drinking in public.

People pitched a fit years ago when Gwyneth Paltrow was photographed drinking a Guinness while pregnant.

The do's and don't's while pregnant is a huge, ever changing list and its hard for even pregnant women to keep up with it.
2013-09-27 12:01:52 PM  
1 votes:
so humiliated that she had to get her fix some place else...home and alone?


better way to handle it: oh i was just seeing what you would say just give me a water
2013-09-27 12:00:58 PM  
1 votes:

meanmutton: "Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive because damage can occur in the earliest weeks of pregnancy, even before a woman knows that she is pregnant." -- The noted hysterics at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.


As mentioned, advisory bodies tend to give ultra-conservative advice in this area. It's not backed up by good evidence and never has been. We would have had whole generations born with FAS if it was a risk.
2013-09-27 12:00:05 PM  
1 votes:
Mom smoke a pack or so a day when pregnant with me. Birthweight was low (6#8oz) but I have a 145 IQ, and just about the smallest head of any adult female, so I get to blow a couple of stereotypes there.

Bigger concern is the damn cortisol levels. Set everyone up for PTSD (which I'm starting to formulate a theory about why everyone in Middle East can't get over themselves: a tendency to PTSD due to epigenetics which has caused generational infighting, then becomes a vicious cycle). Actually, I find epigenetics a fascinating field, since I think it's also what partially explains my bisexuality.

As far as alcohol goes, I want to have a habit of having a glass of red wine at dinner, and I don't plan on stopping that just because I get pregnant.
2013-09-27 11:59:33 AM  
1 votes:

netcentric: It's her body...you can't tell her what to do.



By that logic, bartenders should not be able to cut me off no matter how sauced I am.

And you're right....you can't tell her what to do, but I don't like the idea of being forced to serve her either.

And it's not just her body we're talking about.

Meh.
2013-09-27 11:59:08 AM  
1 votes:

SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.


If light drinking was risky, Italians and the French bloodlines would have died out long ago. Way to be as bad as the bartender for judging the woman.
2013-09-27 11:57:05 AM  
1 votes:

Gothnet: SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.

Why should she be humiliated? There's never been research that says "taking a single drink while pregnant is evil", only hysterics.


"Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive because damage can occur in the earliest weeks of pregnancy, even before a woman knows that she is pregnant." -- The noted hysterics at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
2013-09-27 11:54:47 AM  
1 votes:
A business reserves the right to not serve anyone for any reason. As bars have been sued for the actions of drunk people before it would cause me to think twice before serving her.
2013-09-27 11:54:17 AM  
1 votes:
Honestly,

Why take the risk? Your child is not able to say no... at the very least it cant ask for the good stuff.
2013-09-27 11:54:00 AM  
1 votes:
It's her body...you can't tell her what to do.
2013-09-27 11:53:17 AM  
1 votes:
So, upon failing to score her fix at the one location, she immediately runs over to another place and finds someone willing to serve her.  Not too humiliated, I'd say.
2013-09-27 11:50:47 AM  
1 votes:
My mom drank a lot when she was carrying me.  I've had a wonderful family, happy life and a rewarding career I've held for the last potato years!
2013-09-27 11:50:20 AM  
1 votes:
I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.
2013-09-27 11:48:14 AM  
1 votes:
No link to any trouble in pregnancy has been found to light drinking, a unit or two a few times a week.
The NHS advice is overly conservative.
The bartender is a hysterical asshat.
 
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