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(Daily Mail)   Not News: Bartender refuses to serve a woman wine. News: Because she is pregnant. Fark: She is so humiliated and embarrassed she runs to the Daily Mail to complain   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 119
    More: Ironic, bartenders, Daily Mail  
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13970 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2013 at 11:45 AM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-27 11:47:25 AM
Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.
 
2013-09-27 11:48:14 AM
No link to any trouble in pregnancy has been found to light drinking, a unit or two a few times a week.
The NHS advice is overly conservative.
The bartender is a hysterical asshat.
 
2013-09-27 11:50:00 AM
CSB:

I worked at a winery back in 2002, and during our alcohol server training, we were told not to turn down service to a pregnant woman.
 
2013-09-27 11:50:20 AM
I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.
 
2013-09-27 11:50:47 AM
My mom drank a lot when she was carrying me.  I've had a wonderful family, happy life and a rewarding career I've held for the last potato years!
 
2013-09-27 11:52:41 AM

reillan: Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.


That's my take as well. You can't expect the bartender to be up to date on the latest Fetal Alcohol Syndrome research. He's being cautious and there's nothing wrong with that.
 
2013-09-27 11:52:51 AM

SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.


Why should she be humiliated? There's never been research that says "taking a single drink while pregnant is evil", only hysterics.
 
2013-09-27 11:53:17 AM
So, upon failing to score her fix at the one location, she immediately runs over to another place and finds someone willing to serve her.  Not too humiliated, I'd say.
 
2013-09-27 11:53:34 AM
Seeing as he cares so deeply for others' healthy living choices, I can see why he went into bartending.
 
2013-09-27 11:53:43 AM
None of this is news.  This happens several times a year where it is reported by some rag.  That an convenience store clerks refusing to sell cigarettes.

Happens all the time.
 
2013-09-27 11:54:00 AM
It's her body...you can't tell her what to do.
 
2013-09-27 11:54:07 AM
I work at a place that serves beer. I've had guys order a drink and had their pregnant wives take a sip. I've served pregnant women too. So long as you aren't visibly intoxicated while ordering, I don't really give a fark.

/not your doctor
//don't know your drinking history
 
2013-09-27 11:54:17 AM
Honestly,

Why take the risk? Your child is not able to say no... at the very least it cant ask for the good stuff.
 
2013-09-27 11:54:47 AM
A business reserves the right to not serve anyone for any reason. As bars have been sued for the actions of drunk people before it would cause me to think twice before serving her.
 
2013-09-27 11:55:27 AM

ToastTheRabbit: Honestly,

Why take the risk? Your child is not able to say no... at the very least it cant ask for the good stuff.


There's no risk in having a small glass every few days.
 
2013-09-27 11:57:05 AM

Gothnet: SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.

Why should she be humiliated? There's never been research that says "taking a single drink while pregnant is evil", only hysterics.


"Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive because damage can occur in the earliest weeks of pregnancy, even before a woman knows that she is pregnant." -- The noted hysterics at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
 
2013-09-27 11:57:26 AM
Pregnant women can drink about a half glass a day with absolutely no issues. In fact, it may have benefits. My wife agonized over it because she's a wine person but after reading all the research she was comfortable, as was I.

Nobody ever had an issue serving her and she never had more than a half glass.
 
2013-09-27 11:57:43 AM
Oh, and all the images of her in TFA make it look like she's dealing with a serious case of gas. It's the combination of the "who farted" look on her face and her hands on her stomach.
 
2013-09-27 11:57:55 AM

netcentric: It's her body...you can't tell her what to do.


He's not stopping her from drinking, he's just stopping her in his bar,
 
2013-09-27 11:59:08 AM

SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.


If light drinking was risky, Italians and the French bloodlines would have died out long ago. Way to be as bad as the bartender for judging the woman.
 
2013-09-27 11:59:33 AM

netcentric: It's her body...you can't tell her what to do.



By that logic, bartenders should not be able to cut me off no matter how sauced I am.

And you're right....you can't tell her what to do, but I don't like the idea of being forced to serve her either.

And it's not just her body we're talking about.

Meh.
 
2013-09-27 12:00:05 PM
Mom smoke a pack or so a day when pregnant with me. Birthweight was low (6#8oz) but I have a 145 IQ, and just about the smallest head of any adult female, so I get to blow a couple of stereotypes there.

Bigger concern is the damn cortisol levels. Set everyone up for PTSD (which I'm starting to formulate a theory about why everyone in Middle East can't get over themselves: a tendency to PTSD due to epigenetics which has caused generational infighting, then becomes a vicious cycle). Actually, I find epigenetics a fascinating field, since I think it's also what partially explains my bisexuality.

As far as alcohol goes, I want to have a habit of having a glass of red wine at dinner, and I don't plan on stopping that just because I get pregnant.
 
2013-09-27 12:00:20 PM

Gothnet: ToastTheRabbit: Honestly,

Why take the risk? Your child is not able to say no... at the very least it cant ask for the good stuff.

There's no risk in having a small glass every few days.


Yeah? What if she drinks Yellow Tail? Nobody is policing the quality of booze she is subjecting her baby to.
 
2013-09-27 12:00:41 PM
I'd just give her the whole bottle. Chicks with FAS are hot.
 
2013-09-27 12:00:58 PM

meanmutton: "Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive because damage can occur in the earliest weeks of pregnancy, even before a woman knows that she is pregnant." -- The noted hysterics at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.


As mentioned, advisory bodies tend to give ultra-conservative advice in this area. It's not backed up by good evidence and never has been. We would have had whole generations born with FAS if it was a risk.
 
2013-09-27 12:01:37 PM
So she goes to the bar, is refused a drink and runs to the Daily Mail "humiliated."

Or, she goes to the bar, has a drink, gives birth, finds out there's something wrong with the child, and then runs to the Daily Mail blaming the bar for serving her that drink.
 
2013-09-27 12:01:38 PM
The fact that the bartender was foolish doesn't make this newsworthy
 
2013-09-27 12:01:52 PM
so humiliated that she had to get her fix some place else...home and alone?


better way to handle it: oh i was just seeing what you would say just give me a water
 
2013-09-27 12:02:00 PM

ToastTheRabbit: Yeah? What if she drinks Yellow Tail? Nobody is policing the quality of booze she is subjecting her baby to.


That's a crime whether pregnant or not!
 
2013-09-27 12:02:39 PM

Gig103: SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.

If light drinking was risky, Italians and the French bloodlines would have died out long ago. Way to be as bad as the bartender for judging the woman.


When I was 7.5 months pregnant and traveling in France and Italy, waiters would frequently attempt to pour me a *second* glass of wine. That's how blase they were there to the sight of preggos drinking.
 
2013-09-27 12:03:27 PM

ToastTheRabbit: Yeah? What if she drinks Yellow Tail? Nobody is policing the quality of booze she is subjecting her baby to.



Carlo Rossi Paisano = child abuse
 
2013-09-27 12:04:16 PM
When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, we went out to dinner with her mom.  She really wanted a glass of wine but was very self-consious about drinking while visibly pregnant, even though she knew it was okay.  I ordered a botttle of wine and the server brought three glasses, turned to my wife, and said something along the lines of, "I hope you're going to enjoy some of this wonderful bottle."  It totally put her at ease and was an overall great gesture.  He got a little extra tip for that.

/csb
 
2013-09-27 12:04:44 PM
Unites? Did the NHS acquire the Ministry of Housinge?
 
2013-09-27 12:06:02 PM
All I could think of was this skit.
http://youtu.be/phVCN6TxdCg

That said, if the new research says a drink a week is ok, it probably is. However, the bartender has no way of knowing if it's her first drink of the week or her 30th.

I'm all for giving the preggo whatever she wants, but you have to figure people are going to stinkeye you if you are pregnant and drinking in public.

People pitched a fit years ago when Gwyneth Paltrow was photographed drinking a Guinness while pregnant.

The do's and don't's while pregnant is a huge, ever changing list and its hard for even pregnant women to keep up with it.
 
2013-09-27 12:09:09 PM

ocd002: I'm all for giving the preggo whatever she wants, but you have to figure people are going to stinkeye you if you are pregnant and drinking in public.


Generally not so much in the UK AFAICT, publicly judging the behaviour of the pregnant is an American hobby.
 
2013-09-27 12:10:07 PM
She's pregnant, she waddled, she didn't run.
 
2013-09-27 12:10:36 PM

reillan: Sounds like a non-story.  She read the research, he did not.  Based on his knowledge that alcohol is bad for babies (which is true, just in greater quantities than we had expected), he opted not to serve her.  No one would ever find that to be unconscionable if they weren't either A: pregnant or B: a reporter for the Daily Fail.


I totally agree with him. Serving alcohol to a pregnant woman is the equivalent to serving alcohol to a minor. That is the bar's responsibility, not her's. Go Barkeep. Kudos.
 
2013-09-27 12:11:25 PM

ocd002: All I could think of was this skit.
http://youtu.be/phVCN6TxdCg

That said, if the new research says a drink a week is ok, it probably is. However, the bartender has no way of knowing if it's her first drink of the week or her 30th.

I'm all for giving the preggo whatever she wants, but you have to figure people are going to stinkeye you if you are pregnant and drinking in public.


And if you're the bartender serving the wine to the pregnant woman, well, you'll probably get some of that stinkeye, too. Probably not ideal for business...
 
2013-09-27 12:13:34 PM
The woman is an asshat.

/not because she wanted a drink
//but because she ran to the Daily Fail.
 
2013-09-27 12:14:34 PM

meanmutton: Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive


That'll drop the birthrate.

Interesting read
 
2013-09-27 12:16:38 PM
lh3.ggpht.com

Your slipping fark.
 
2013-09-27 12:17:32 PM
I'm looking forward to the story about her looking for someone to blame when her baby is born walleyed.
 
2013-09-27 12:18:05 PM
News flash:  Bars and liqour stores can refuse to serve anyone at any time for any reason they see fit.  Consider the position they are in, in this day and age.  If they sell to someone who is (for instance) already drunk, and that person kills someone in a car wreck on the way home, the bar can be sued.

I remember when I was 22 or so, I walked into the store to buy a 12-pack and the guy at the register refused to serve me.  I was like, "WTF?!".  He essentially said, "You look drunk already."  In reality, I was not drunk.  I had just woken up from a nap.  (Musta been a really good nap)

Whatever...  The point is, even though it was kinda embarassing, I had nothing else to say on the matter.  I walked out and went to a different store.
 
2013-09-27 12:19:17 PM

syberpud: My mom drank a lot when she was carrying me.  I've had a wonderful family, happy life and a rewarding career I've held for the last potato years!


A few years ago my Mom admitted to smoking while I was potato, and I potato just potato.

/potato
 
2013-09-27 12:21:10 PM

The_Sponge: CSB:

I worked at a winery back in 2002, and during our alcohol server training, we were told not to turn down service to a pregnant woman.


It's against the ADA.

/probably covered up thread.
//tldr
 
2013-09-27 12:21:27 PM
"...the Deutsche Bank worker, who is overdue with her first baby, was left dumbfounded after a barman at Pi bar, in Liverpool, told her: 'Sorry, I can't serve you.'"

not sure if name of bank, or describing pregnant woman who wanted a drink...
 
2013-09-27 12:22:44 PM

meanmutton: Gothnet: SeesWhatYouDidThere: I understand the research and all, but shouldn't she have been a bit more "humiliated" walking into a bar and asking for a drink while about to pop?  I'm sure there were other people in there there didn't do the research either and were giving here the stink-eye.

Why should she be humiliated? There's never been research that says "taking a single drink while pregnant is evil", only hysterics.

"Women should avoid alcohol entirely while pregnant or trying to conceive because damage can occur in the earliest weeks of pregnancy, even before a woman knows that she is pregnant." -- The noted hysterics at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.


But if they're pregnant and don't know it, when should they avoid alcohol?
 
2013-09-27 12:23:08 PM
Excellent use of the ironic tag subby.

/golf clap
//I need a drink.
 
2013-09-27 12:24:28 PM
I've never given the stink-eye to pregnant woman with a glass of wine in her hand.  What I have given the stink-eye to, and started a verbal altercation with, was a woman doing shots at the bar while holding her 3-month-old.  This was late at night at a semi-crowded bar before the smoking bans had taken effect.  She and her drunk-ass husband then proceeded to tell me and my friends that because we were from out of town, that we didn't know how things were done 'round here and we should go back to the big city.  That's an enduring impression of Ocean City MD that I'll never forget.
 
2013-09-27 12:24:52 PM
Frankly, I don't think either person is really in the worng here.  The Bartender acted in what he felt was good faith given the circumstances.  The woman seems to be confident that a small amount of alcohol consumption isn't a significant threat to her pregnancy.  All this is is a difference of opinion.

Personally, having married a high-school teacher at a school that specializes in kids with F.A.S. as well as other conditions (autism, behavioural disorders, drug dependencies, etc.) I can totally understand the Bartender's hesitation.  Foetal Alcohol Syndrome has a huge (and lifelong) impact on people.  There's certainly some debate on whether complete abstention from alcohol is always necessary, but the majority of medical advice still seems to land on the side of caution.

What I don't understand is why she decided it's worthy of the Press.  It's one guy saying he didn't want to give a pregant lady a drink.  Besides, if drinking alcohol is THAT important to you, I think it suggests a much bigger underlying problem.
 
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