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(The Daily Beast)   Renowned biblical scholar Bill O'Reilly's new book claims that Jesus died not for your sins, but for your taxes. Sounds legit   (thedailybeast.com) divider line 124
    More: Amusing, Bill O'Reilly, Biblical studies  
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1906 clicks; posted to Politics » on 27 Sep 2013 at 11:44 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-09-27 11:45:32 AM  
That's what I've been saying! Jesus died for lower top marginal income tax rates!
 
2013-09-27 11:47:40 AM  
In before Supply Side Jesus cartoon.
 
2013-09-27 11:47:57 AM  
It's in the Book of St. Bastard.

Near the back.
 
2013-09-27 11:48:37 AM  
That's one hell of a retcon. It's a smart move though because it will definitely help their cause as long as they stay away from corny character resurrections.
 
2013-09-27 11:48:52 AM  
As for Jesus himself, O Reilly thinks that one of the main reasons Jesus was appealing and successful was because he was an independent, powerful, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of guy. According to O'Reilly, "[He] had no infrastructure. He had no government behind him. He had no corporation."

If anyone in history was NOT a bootstrappy person, it's Jesus. He was born as the son of god for christsakes. He may have had no government,, infrastructure, or corporation, but he had something greater...his dad.

\of course, this is only relevant if you believe jesus was christ
\\if you're an atheist, then the whole thing is idiotic.
 
2013-09-27 11:49:08 AM  
Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3Sq3HL2OV8
 
2013-09-27 11:50:20 AM  
i.imgur.com

Jesus died for somebody's sins but not hers.

/Also, the Jesus of the Bible doesn't seem to give two shiats about taxes or really any sort of earthly concern apart from how people treat one another.
 
2013-09-27 11:51:37 AM  
"Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Not really cryptic.  Taxes are a-ok.
 
2013-09-27 11:51:50 AM  
Then saith he unto them, "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's."

God wants to tax us too?

God is a RINO!!!1!
 
2013-09-27 11:52:09 AM  
The reason the Jews eagerly anticipated the Messiah, writes O'Reilly, is, "When that moment arrives, Rome will be defeated and their lives will be free of taxation and want."

Jewish people worship in the hope that one day a messiah will come and grant them tax breaks?
 
2013-09-27 11:53:22 AM  

Aristocles: LOL! O'Reilly's  BOR's book on Jesus is going to blow that Reza guy's book outta the water!

/and O'Reilly doesn't even have to lie about his creds!
//you know what goes here, Farklibs!


FTFY
 
2013-09-27 11:53:29 AM  
Render nought unto Ceasar, for thou art taxed enough already.
 
2013-09-27 11:53:54 AM  

kidgenius: If anyone in history was NOT a bootstrappy person, it's Jesus. He was born as the son of god for christsakes. He may have had no government,, infrastructure, or corporation, but he had something greater...his dad.


It wasn't his dad that got him ahead in life, it was his inherited superpowers.  I'm pretty sure I could make bank if I could perform miracles - hell, the 'water into wine' trick alone could make me millions. Imagine being able to run that on an industrial scale with no need to actually grow grapes.  Man oh Manischewitz.
 
2013-09-27 11:54:14 AM  

Aristocles: LOL! O'Reilly's book on Jesus is going to blow that Reza guy's book outta the water!

/and O'Reilly doesn't even have to lie about his creds!
//you know what goes here, Farklibs!


Dude.

Your troll thing is getting boring. Step it up or GTFO.
 
2013-09-27 11:54:52 AM  
Jesus died because he was a rabble-rouser who disturbed the peace and challenged the authorities. Jesus didn't die for our W2s.

Maybe not hippie Jesus, but Republican JesusTM certainly did!
 
2013-09-27 11:54:53 AM  
I went to the Lincoln Memorial gift shop and they didn't have a single copy for sale. They are just discriminating against Mr. O'Reilly because he is Christian.
 
2013-09-27 11:56:49 AM  
So, Jesus screwing up tax revenue on the poor is an analogy to today because the anti-fartChrist Obama wants to raise taxes on the wealthy?

Bill, your fart-words are pretty stinky-retarded these days.

//these days = since his birth
 
2013-09-27 11:56:55 AM  
So, just about as credible as his other "history" books.
 
2013-09-27 11:57:21 AM  
Of course Pappa Bear is just as qualified as anyone else to talk about what the "son of god" intended for us mere mortals.

 

Shaggy_C: kidgenius: If anyone in history was NOT a bootstrappy person, it's Jesus. He was born as the son of god for christsakes. He may have had no government,, infrastructure, or corporation, but he had something greater...his dad.

It wasn't his dad that got him ahead in life, it was his inherited superpowers.  I'm pretty sure I could make bank if I could perform miracles - hell, the 'water into wine' trick alone could make me millions. Imagine being able to run that on an industrial scale with no need to actually grow grapes.  Man oh Manischewitz.



That fits perfect into the prosperity gospel. Nobody should get help from icky thinks like society or government, but if you inherit your success then that is ok and actually proves you were destined to be a better person.
 
2013-09-27 11:58:57 AM  
Judging from the historical accuracy and fact-checking of his Killing Kennedy and Killing Lincoln books I can only assume that he pins the blame for the death of Our Lord on purple Martians.
 
2013-09-27 11:59:22 AM  

shut_it_down: "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Not really cryptic.  Taxes are a-ok.


I'm not sure you're interpreting that properly there.  I read it more to the theory of "Yeah, I'll pay your damned tribute when you get your troops the hell out of God's land".
 
2013-09-27 11:59:52 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-27 11:59:58 AM  
Can we just limit the news to times republicans don't posit the opposite of reality.  It'd be a much smaller set of things to read.
 
2013-09-27 12:01:04 PM  
"Jesus was killed because of taxes. That's more or less the message of Bill O'Reilly's new book. Professor Candida Moss on what else the Fox host gets wrong-and what he leaves out."

Pffft. A rebuttal from an elitist ethnic vegetable stand.
 
2013-09-27 12:01:05 PM  
When someone on the Right wants to educate you, just look the other way.

They spend all their time ridiculing education spending, ridiculing college educations as 'liberal, elitist' and then they turn around and write "books" about "stuff".  It is pure propaganda that muddies the water and makes you more retarded on the subject.  Their motive is purely to fleece you and keep you appropriately stupid and fearing / hating the unknown, change, and anything that is for the betterment of a society rather than the betterment of the individual (as long as that individual is you, which it probably isn't).
 
2013-09-27 12:01:17 PM  
You're going to have to revise that whole bit about Zaccheus the tax collector then.
 
2013-09-27 12:02:26 PM  

BarrRepublican: You're going to have to revise that whole bit about Zaccheus the tax collector then.


Matthew was the tax collector. Zaccheus was a Pharisee.
 
2013-09-27 12:02:28 PM  
latimesblogs.latimes.com

What a Jesus that pays taxes might look like
 
2013-09-27 12:02:41 PM  
Steve Bartman is a big fan of baseball but that doesn't mean he is going to write a book about it.

Bill, take Steve's advice, and hide.  Forever.
 
2013-09-27 12:02:42 PM  
According to O'Reilly, "[He] had no infrastructure. He had no government behind him. He had no corporation."

Yup. Jebus didn't take any handouts from the gubmint.  He merely used nepotism to accept divinity from Dad.

Why are all you poor farks sitting around doing nothing?!?  Why don't you pull yourself up by your own bootstraps given to you by an omnipotent sky-wizard?
 
2013-09-27 12:02:48 PM  
Bill O'Reilly pushing an ideological agenda?!

images.wikia.com
 
2013-09-27 12:03:42 PM  
Book title is incredibly fitting.

O'Reilly is practically pounding the nails in with his own ego.
 
2013-09-27 12:04:03 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: BarrRepublican: You're going to have to revise that whole bit about Zaccheus the tax collector then.

Matthew was the tax collector. Zaccheus was a Pharisee.


D'oh! Ignore this post. I was thinking of Nicodemus. I have the dumb.

Matthew was a tax collector, but so was Zachaeus.

/DAMMIT WEENER
 
2013-09-27 12:04:13 PM  

Aristocles: thismomentinblackhistory: Aristocles: LOL! O'Reilly's  BOR's book on Jesus is going to blow that Reza guy's book outta the water!

/and O'Reilly doesn't even have to lie about his creds!
//you know what goes here, Farklibs!

FTFY

Actually, BO = Bill O'Reilly... either is acceptable.


BOO.
As in your trolling is of poor quality today.  Go drink some coffee and come back when you're ready.
 
2013-09-27 12:04:23 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: Then saith he unto them, "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's."

God wants to tax us too?

God is a RINO!!!1!


Oh, NOES!!
Does he know what we're doing to his reltives?
 
2013-09-27 12:04:33 PM  
My mind is clearer now.
 
2013-09-27 12:04:34 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: BarrRepublican: You're going to have to revise that whole bit about Zaccheus the tax collector then.

Matthew was the tax collector. Zaccheus was a Pharisee.


You might want to change the entire Wiki article then
 
2013-09-27 12:04:40 PM  

kidgenius: As for Jesus himself, O Reilly thinks that one of the main reasons Jesus was appealing and successful was because he was an independent, powerful, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of guy. According to O'Reilly, "[He] had no infrastructure. He had no government behind him. He had no corporation."

If anyone in history was NOT a bootstrappy person, it's Jesus. He was born as the son of god for christsakes. He may have had no government,, infrastructure, or corporation, but he had something greater...his dad.

\of course, this is only relevant if you believe jesus was christ
\\if you're an atheist, then the whole thing is idiotic.


If an atheist looked up to jesus for being bootstrappy, they would be looking up to a lying con artist.

There may or may not be a god, but jesus is not a bootstrappy hero in either case.

Though I can see why the lying pundit oreilly would look up to a poor man who lied his way to power.
 
2013-09-27 12:08:14 PM  
cdn-usa.gagbay.com
 
2013-09-27 12:08:19 PM  
Is this... I mean, seriously? Seriously?!

I never thought I'd be living in times like these. I always figured people got smarter as civilization moved along, but nope, here we are. Wow.
 
2013-09-27 12:09:25 PM  
So when Jesus returns he'll come back as a teabagger?

And I looked, and beheld a golden mobility scooter descending from the clouds. And upon its sides were jewels of onyx and emerald and chalcedony and saphireand its motor made sounds of praise unto He who rode upon it, going "Holy, holy, holy" instead of "vreeeeeeeeeeee" as do the lesser earthbound scooters of man. Upon his head was a golden crown of gold. In one hand he held a staff upon which was affixed an unrolled scroll of purest white upon which were written the words "TAXES = SLAVVERY," and in the other he held a yellow flag emblazoned with a serpent.

Revelation 13:13
 
2013-09-27 12:10:18 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: BarrRepublican: You're going to have to revise that whole bit about Zaccheus the tax collector then.

Matthew was the tax collector. Zaccheus was a Pharisee.

You might want to change the entire Wiki article then


Yes, yes... I've already done my penance for my error: 3 Bloody Marys and 4 Hello Dollys.
 
2013-09-27 12:10:45 PM  
Stop responding to Aristocles.
 
2013-09-27 12:13:23 PM  

Bloody William: Stop responding to Aristocles.


People keep saying this, and I wonder if they have amnesia.
This shiat never works. People always get roped in by trolls. Always. Just add him to ignore if you can't breeze past him like a banner ad.
 
2013-09-27 12:13:50 PM  
To be fair, Jesus goes Galt at the end of the book.
 
2013-09-27 12:15:18 PM  

Bloody William: Stop responding to Aristocles.


But he's keeping the lights on...
 
2013-09-27 12:17:59 PM  

GhostFish: Bloody William: Stop responding to Aristocles.

People keep saying this, and I wonder if they have amnesia.
This shiat never works. People always get roped in by trolls. Always. Just add him to ignore if you can't breeze past him like a banner ad.


I don't have anybody on ignore. Not because I find myself above that sort of thing or think that other people shouldn't. It's more like watching a train wreck that keeps on giving.
 
2013-09-27 12:18:02 PM  

kidgenius: As for Jesus himself, O Reilly thinks that one of the main reasons Jesus was appealing and successful was because he was an independent, powerful, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of guy. According to O'Reilly, "[He] had no infrastructure. He had no government behind him. He had no corporation."

If anyone in history was NOT a bootstrappy person, it's Jesus. He was born as the son of god for christsakes. He may have had no government,, infrastructure, or corporation, but he had something greater...his dad.

\of course, this is only relevant if you believe jesus was christ
\\if you're an atheist, then the whole thing is idiotic.


Crucifixes are a kind of infrastructure...
 
2013-09-27 12:18:11 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: To be fair, Jesus goes Galt at the end of the book.


No, at the end of the book he comes back for some kind of LSD fueled, heavy metal themed battle royale.
 
2013-09-27 12:19:19 PM  

shut_it_down: "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Not really cryptic.  Taxes are a-ok.


If I where aliv eback then and I heard Jesus say that I'd think, "What part of my belongings are Caesar's?"  The answer would be, "none".    I'd still give Caesar something since he'd kill me if I didn't but that is an anti-tax line.
 
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