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(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)   "My God, it's full of penises"   (post-gazette.com) divider line 82
    More: Amusing, Heidelberg, Pat Martin, state Department of Transportation  
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12271 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2013 at 10:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-27 08:35:57 AM  
Posts are by their very nature phallic, these really aren't that bad.
 
2013-09-27 08:52:11 AM  
It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't installed the Georgia O'Keefe paintings across the road.
 
2013-09-27 09:17:57 AM  
That's not so bad. Nearly every one of the light fixtures in our house look like breasts.
 
2013-09-27 09:39:47 AM  
Are there over nine-thousand of them?
 
2013-09-27 09:44:39 AM  

Dimensio: Are there over nine-thousand of them?


Ok, I laughed. Good point.
 
2013-09-27 10:01:25 AM  
Now someone just needs to take a can of black spray paint and make a little line on each one.
 
2013-09-27 10:06:08 AM  
I see this is the majority of where most of the Fark community lives.
 
2013-09-27 10:14:31 AM  
It's like Chatroulette, but on a sidewalk!
 
2013-09-27 10:15:57 AM  
"I think those posts are too far apart. I think a small car like a Volkswagen could get through," he said.

That sounds uncomfortable.
 
2013-09-27 10:19:52 AM  
Just whack a few of these about to sort the problem out.

us.123rf.com
 
2013-09-27 10:21:19 AM  
memestorage.com
 
2013-09-27 10:22:07 AM  

blatz514: I see this is the majority of where most of the Fark community lives.


No, there wouldn't be any complaints.

/except about size
 
2013-09-27 10:23:53 AM  
From TFA:
Commissioner Bill Wells wondered whether the tops of the offending bollards could be flattened
Yes - its called circumcision
 
2013-09-27 10:26:56 AM  
I've seen these in other cities and without someone pointing out what they look like I really didn't give it much thought.   Maybe because penises are on my mind enough.
 
2013-09-27 10:27:07 AM  
I suggest the good people of Scott calm down unless their teenage daughters start frotting the bollards.
 
2013-09-27 10:27:28 AM  
Instead of flattening the tops, I think they should drill a hole down the center and plumb them as fountains.  You could have a syncronized water display that would be the envy of Las Vegas and a year-round tourist destination.  Think outside the box, people.
 
2013-09-27 10:29:29 AM  
I learned a new word, "bollard". Sounds like British slang for a dick.
 
2013-09-27 10:30:27 AM  
Never mind the bollards.
 
2013-09-27 10:30:43 AM  
Nobody has painted them pink?
Or black for the taller ones.
 
2013-09-27 10:30:46 AM  
Sometimes a bollard is just a bollard.

If you flatten the tops, there'll be a sharper rim around the top, more likely to cause injury, and there'll be a flat surface where people will leave cups and other trash.

Much cheaper and more effective to just let the "adults" in your community get over their sixth-grade mindsets.
 
2013-09-27 10:31:22 AM  
fta "People need to get their minds out of the gutters," Carnegie manager Steve Beuter said

No.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-27 10:32:18 AM  
Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me.

That was a childhood anthem that was popular among the tots back in my day, when we were breast fed on a healty slurry of patriotism, LSD, and a mandatory draft.

Now with the the Lady Gogas and the hippety hop and the feel good dipwads glorping around their padded Nintendo cubes molly coddled on no-contact sports and feel-good traffic barriers wouldn't know how to miss-see a roadside barrier if it was spoon fed to them.  If I didn't think some Castro Street funboy would sneak up behind me, throw Nipsy Russell's jockstrap over my eyes, and mount me like Trigger, I'd bend over and dry-heave.

Kids nowadays are raised to look at the world with penis-colored glasses. It sickens me.

How I long for a simpler age.

Yours in rage,

Ed Anger
 
2013-09-27 10:35:25 AM  
Such a boring design.  They could have gone with:
designyoutrust.com
 
2013-09-27 10:35:47 AM  

jfarkinB: Sometimes a bollard is just a bollard.

If you flatten the tops, there'll be a sharper rim around the top, more likely to cause injury, and there'll be a flat surface where people will leave cups and other trash.

Much cheaper and more effective to just let the "adults" in your community get over their sixth-grade mindsets.


No.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-27 10:36:34 AM  
Good thing they dont live in Amsterdam

static.autoblog.nl
 
2013-09-27 10:37:15 AM  
i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-27 10:37:33 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-27 10:38:27 AM  
FTFA:But the elongated shape and rounded top of the bollards has drawn some derision.

Dear Post-Gazette: I understand your need to maintain some level of decorum for the sake of the rapidly-aging tea-sippers who are the core readership of the Suburban Living section. But seeing as the word penis already made it past at least one editor, let's address the whole problem.

It's not just the elongated shape. It's not just the rounded top. It's the seemingly gratuitous groove molded into said top. What function could it have other than as a designer's private (snicker) joke?

db66abc2c256b763aaef-ce5d943d4869ae027976e5ad085dd9b0.r76.cf2.rackcdn.com
 
2013-09-27 10:40:17 AM  
We have a few similar, but shorter and wider concrete "penises" in the city. Some of them are painted to resemble R2D2. They look cool.
 
2013-09-27 10:40:25 AM  

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Good thing they dont live in Amsterdam

img.fark.net


Yeah, i was going to say "At least they're not purple and showing veins".
 
2013-09-27 10:41:53 AM  

i upped my meds-up yours: It's not just the elongated shape. It's not just the rounded top. It's the seemingly gratuitous groove molded into said top. What function could it have other than as a designer's private (snicker) joke?


The groove allows you to tether your horse cock to it when you're done riding.
 
2013-09-27 10:47:06 AM  

jfarkinB: Sometimes a bollard is just a bollard.

If you flatten the tops, there'll be a sharper rim around the top, more likely to cause injury, and there'll be a flat surface where people will leave cups and other trash.

Much cheaper and more effective to just let the "adults" in your community get over their sixth-grade mindsets.


That's the best solution
 
2013-09-27 10:47:32 AM  

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Good thing they dont live in Amsterdam

[static.autoblog.nl image 225x202]


Or Bhutan?
Or South Korea?
 
2013-09-27 10:47:52 AM  
i.qkme.me
 
2013-09-27 10:50:07 AM  

brap: Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me.

That was a childhood anthem that was popular among the tots back in my day, when we were breast fed on a healty slurry of patriotism, LSD, and a mandatory draft.

Now with the the Lady Gogas and the hippety hop and the feel good dipwads glorping around their padded Nintendo cubes molly coddled on no-contact sports and feel-good traffic barriers wouldn't know how to miss-see a roadside barrier if it was spoon fed to them.  If I didn't think some Castro Street funboy would sneak up behind me, throw Nipsy Russell's jockstrap over my eyes, and mount me like Trigger, I'd bend over and dry-heave.

Kids nowadays are raised to look at the world with penis-colored glasses. It sickens me.

How I long for a simpler age.

Yours in rage,

Ed Anger


Now your kids with your loud music, and your Dan Fogleberg, your Zima, hula hoops and pac-man video games, don't you see? People today have attention spans that can only be measured in nanoseconds!

www.11points.com

Ted Denslow
 
2013-09-27 10:50:29 AM  
Yeesh, how about warning us about the NSFW images, subby?
 
2013-09-27 10:53:41 AM  

HailRobonia: I learned a new word, "bollard". Sounds like British slang for a dick.


We use the term in the US too. Any reinforced obstruction designed to protect doorways, fuel pumps, or whatever from vehicle damage is a bollard. Typically they are steel pipes filled with cement and painted yellow, but any design will do. The Target stores around here have big, red spherical bollards. I like to say that "Target puts the ball in bollard" when I visit their stores. Them my wife shushes me.
 
2013-09-27 10:53:59 AM  
Ribbed for her pleasure.

www.idealshield.com
 
2013-09-27 10:54:29 AM  

i upped my meds-up yours: FTFA:But the elongated shape and rounded top of the bollards has drawn some derision.

Dear Post-Gazette: I understand your need to maintain some level of decorum for the sake of the rapidly-aging tea-sippers who are the core readership of the Suburban Living section. But seeing as the word penis already made it past at least one editor, let's address the whole problem.

It's not just the elongated shape. It's not just the rounded top. It's the seemingly gratuitous groove molded into said top. What function could it have other than as a designer's private (snicker) joke?


Not everything is about dicks you pansy.
 
2013-09-27 10:57:28 AM  

Via Infinito: That's not so bad. Nearly every one of the light fixtures in our house look like breasts.


www.rusticlodgefurnishings.com
 
2013-09-27 11:02:22 AM  
I need one of these for my front porch now, to ward off the evil eye.
Perhaps town hall should install one too, to ward off bollard giggles.
 
2013-09-27 11:02:35 AM  
www.annarbor.com

Size matters.
 
2013-09-27 11:04:48 AM  
Bollocks?
Nah
 
2013-09-27 11:14:37 AM  
Add a vertical line on either side to make it look less penis like.
 
2013-09-27 11:14:41 AM  
Paris Hilton?
 
2013-09-27 11:18:53 AM  
Bollocks!

Well, sort of.
 
2013-09-27 11:19:18 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't installed the Georgia O'Keefe paintings across the road.


Why not install the paintings directly on the penises
www.baltimoresun.com
farm9.staticflickr.comwww.trbimg.com
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-27 11:22:05 AM  
To some people, everything is penises. What can you do, right?
 
2013-09-27 11:22:24 AM  

Sybarite: Now someone just needs to take a can of black spray paint and make a little line on each one.


whatsupchuck: Instead of flattening the tops, I think they should drill a hole down the center and plumb them as fountains.  You could have a syncronized water display that would be the envy of Las Vegas and a year-round tourist destination.  Think outside the box, people.


Now, you see - this is the kind of thinking we need more of at the local governmental level.
 
2013-09-27 11:24:43 AM  

Canton: To some people, everything is penises. What can you do, right?


unhinge your jaw?
 
2013-09-27 11:24:46 AM  
Geoffrey Nasty wanted for questioning?
 
2013-09-27 11:26:05 AM  

lockers: Canton: To some people, everything is penises. What can you do, right?

unhinge your jaw?


Hoo boy. There's an image.

You'd think the concrete would do a number on their teeth, though.
 
2013-09-27 11:27:05 AM  
Europeans are not amused.
 
2013-09-27 11:31:54 AM  

ChrisDe: [www.annarbor.com image 249x375]

Size matters.


Came here to post this
 
2013-09-27 11:32:14 AM  
sounds like someone is either jealous, aroused or both at the same time
 
2013-09-27 11:33:07 AM  
It's been done before. Keizer, Oregon:
realitybong.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-27 11:34:17 AM  
I kinda like them. Don't know why
 
2013-09-27 11:38:42 AM  

Gayzilla: I kinda like them. Don't know why


Your fark handle makes this post perfect
 
2013-09-27 11:43:14 AM  

ChrisDe: [www.annarbor.com image 249x375]

Size matters.


The souvenir stand next to it is very popular. At least I think it's a souvenir stand...
 
2013-09-27 11:43:58 AM  
I don't know. It's just so wrong ..

i.huffpost.com
 
2013-09-27 11:44:09 AM  
Sure, it's easy to say you're sorry when they're only three feet tall, but what about when it's 600 feet tall?

cdn.homedit.com
 
2013-09-27 11:47:46 AM  
cdn-www.cracked.com
www.nigeriamasterweb.com
pic20.picturetrail.com
weknowmemes.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
lolbot.net
 
2013-09-27 11:57:53 AM  
 
2013-09-27 12:01:18 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-27 12:03:47 PM  
imageshack.com
 
2013-09-27 12:04:35 PM  
Whose inbox are we talking about?
 
2013-09-27 12:08:02 PM  

HailRobonia: I learned a new word, "bollard". Sounds like British slang for a dick.


2.bp.blogspot.com

/obscure
 
2013-09-27 12:08:12 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Whose inbox are we talking about?


your moms
 
2013-09-27 12:44:06 PM  
Just add a few of these:

upload.wikimedia.org

/You don't want to rub the head directly...
 
2013-09-27 12:45:23 PM  
People are just weird. They have exactly the same sort of pylons in front of a local supermarket; nobody's ever complained.

They also have giant BALLS in front of Target stores now, and I haven't heard any complaints about those, either.
 
2013-09-27 12:59:34 PM  
"My God, it's full of penises"

"Your mom's vagina" too busy to comment.
 
2013-09-27 01:01:59 PM  

JonnyBGoode: People are just weird. They have exactly the same sort of pylons in front of a local supermarket; nobody's ever complained.

They also have giant BALLS in front of Target stores now, and I haven't heard any complaints about those, either.


a0.twimg.com
 
2013-09-27 01:12:07 PM  
That's a bollard and NOT a parrot. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved.
 
2013-09-27 01:19:18 PM  

Wellon Dowd: I suggest the good people of Scott calm down unless their teenage daughters start frotting the bollards.



Thankyou for my bandname.
 
2013-09-27 01:20:46 PM  

cwheelie: From TFA:
Commissioner Bill Wells wondered whether the tops of the offending bollards could be flattened
Yes - its called circumcision


img.fark.net

Approves.
 
2013-09-27 01:26:31 PM  

Sybarite: Now someone just needs to take a can of black spray paint and make a little line on each one.


Yours has a black line on it?  Did I get short changed or something?
 
2013-09-27 01:32:54 PM  
601wcompanies.com
 
2013-09-27 03:29:56 PM  
i upped my meds-up yours

It's not just the elongated shape. It's not just the rounded top. It's the seemingly gratuitous groove molded into said top. What function could it have other than as a designer's private (snicker) joke?


Span a rope between them.
 
2013-09-27 04:02:25 PM  
I hate when submitters make up quotes for the headline.
 
2013-09-27 04:31:59 PM  
baconbeard:

OK that... that... I actually laughed.  That's Naomi Wolf, isn't it?

/supports feminism, but also loves the Christmas-lights-guy meme
 
2013-09-27 07:39:20 PM  
Let me just leave this here... A Song For Freud
 
2013-09-27 09:14:48 PM  
"I wonder," said La Farge, "just how much Molyneaux."

img.fark.net
 
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