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(KIRO TV)   Your made-for-Fark headline of the day: "Half-naked man who destroyed yachts ran from 'female ninja'"   (kirotv.com) divider line 49
    More: Amusing, Fark, female ninja, Asians, CIA agents, birdshot, Michael Bray  
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4340 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2013 at 8:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-26 07:59:27 PM  
Court documents confirm Bray was not a CIA agent on the run, but was instead under the influence of alcohol, ecstasy and marijuana.

Why couldn't he be both?
 
2013-09-26 08:05:04 PM  
Wisdom: better late than never.
 
2013-09-26 08:06:37 PM  
>half naked man destroying a yacht

Patrick Kennedy?
 
2013-09-26 08:12:01 PM  
If I was a female ninja, I think I would prefer the term "ninjette"
 
2013-09-26 08:14:37 PM  

mesmer242: If I was a female ninja, I think I would prefer the term "ninjette"


Would it make you feel Empowered?
 
2013-09-26 08:14:40 PM  
Sorry.

:/
 
2013-09-26 08:19:30 PM  
But did he have a volcano lair? This is important!
 
2013-09-26 08:23:41 PM  

mesmer242: If I was a female ninja, I think I would prefer the term "ninjette"


I thought female ninjas were called Arabs?
 
2013-09-26 08:24:02 PM  

Boojum2k: mesmer242: If I was a female ninja, I think I would prefer the term "ninjette"

Would it make you feel Empowered?


I have a feeling I'm missing the reference here... But no, I just figure all ninjas look pretty much alike, and I'd want to be clear that it was a female ninja kicking ass. Hence, ninjette. Unless all ninjas are actually women and no one told me. That'd be pretty cool too. Maybe women should keep ninja and male ninjas should become ninjos?

/felt like slaughtering the japanese language today, apparently...
 
2013-09-26 08:25:15 PM  
It's pronounced "Throat Warbler Mangrove"
 
2013-09-26 08:27:12 PM  
Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.
 
2013-09-26 08:29:39 PM  
I'm considering buying a sailboat.  I'll have to consider keeping it at this marina, since it is protected by ninjas.

/Keeps teh pirates away.
 
2013-09-26 08:30:22 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.


As opposed to what? NOT running?
 
2013-09-26 08:32:19 PM  
 
2013-09-26 08:37:51 PM  

johnson442: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.

As opposed to what? NOT running?


Honestly, have you ever tried just sitting down and talking to your ninja?
 
2013-09-26 08:41:05 PM  
Not Florida?

son, i am disapoint.
 
2013-09-26 08:41:55 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: johnson442: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.

As opposed to what? NOT running?

Honestly, have you ever tried just sitting down and talking to your ninja?


You mean just be like "what up my ninja?"
 
2013-09-26 08:44:49 PM  
Turns out, it was a shrub.
 
2013-09-26 08:45:33 PM  
'Police showed up shortly after to find Bray straddling the stern of the boat without pants.'

Or as we call it in Florida, Thursday.

Yes our boats wear pants on their stern.
 
2013-09-26 08:45:39 PM  
You can't run from a ninja.

Ninjas don't just run at the speed of light.

Ninjas run at the speed of DARKNESS.
 
2013-09-26 08:49:17 PM  
'Bray didn't stop until a man on the shore fired a birdshot gun at the cabin...'

What the hell is a 'birdshot gun'? Story research, how does it work?
 
2013-09-26 08:51:12 PM  
Clearly, he should have set himself on fire.
 
2013-09-26 08:52:27 PM  
vampjac.com
 
2013-09-26 08:52:43 PM  
Sorry for the confusion. I was just trying out my new black hot pants suit.
 
2013-09-26 08:54:17 PM  
TIL: Shotguns can't actually kill people.
 
2013-09-26 08:54:37 PM  

Boojum2k: mesmer242: I have a feeling I'm missing the reference here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Empowered_characters#Kozue_Kabu ra gi.2C_aka_Ninjette


Thanks, now putting a hold on the first volume through the library.
 
2013-09-26 08:57:57 PM  
Not to hijack, but I have to ask - did we ever decide whether fast zombie>ninja? O the sleepless hours I have spent pondering the question...
 
2013-09-26 08:59:37 PM  
And this is new?
 
2013-09-26 09:15:32 PM  

Whatchoo Talkinbout: 'Bray didn't stop until a man on the shore fired a birdshot gun at the cabin...'

What the hell is a 'birdshot gun'? Story research, how does it work?


Either a "bird shotgun" or a "birdshot" gun (which probably doesn't exist); or else they meant "a shotgun firing birdshot" and didn't know how to write it any shorter.

Better would have been just to say "Gave him an assload of birdshot" but that probably wouldn't do for a Professor of Journalism.
 
2013-09-26 09:16:55 PM  

fusillade762: Court documents confirm Bray was not a CIA agent on the run, but was instead under the influence of alcohol, ecstasy and marijuana.

Why couldn't he be both?


Oh sure: As always, should you or any of your I.M. Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
 
2013-09-26 09:23:46 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: johnson442: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.

As opposed to what? NOT running?

Honestly, have you ever tried just sitting down and talking to your ninja?

You mean just be like "what up my ninja?"


Exactly!  It's a known fact that ninjas can't be reasoned with, but if you get them in a riddle game, you've got a shot.
 
2013-09-26 09:32:29 PM  
When I skimmed the headline, "female ninja" morphed into "mangina".
 
2013-09-26 09:33:35 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: johnson442: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.

As opposed to what? NOT running?

Honestly, have you ever tried just sitting down and talking to your ninja?

You mean just be like "what up my ninja?"


Boo.  Boo sir, I say.  Boo.

// 1 internet to the both of you
 
2013-09-26 09:38:49 PM  

mesmer242: Unless all ninjas are actually women and no one told me. That'd be pretty cool too. Maybe women should keep ninja and male ninjas should become ninjos?


FWIW, the term is kunoichi.
 
2013-09-26 09:39:06 PM  
www.officialpsds.com

Does anyone know who this equine-thighed ninja is?
 
2013-09-26 10:39:07 PM  
Could of been one of my former students.  Her name was Shinobu (忍)
 
2013-09-26 10:47:23 PM  
Seattle is full of ninjas, they're everywhere.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-26 10:51:30 PM  
When your name is basically Michael Bay, this sort of thing is obligatory.  I'll wager some of the yachts burst into giant fireballs, while the ninjette was bare-breasted.
 
2013-09-26 10:54:38 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Does anyone know who this equine-thighed ninja is?


Yeah. My new wallpaper. Thanks.
 
2013-09-26 11:19:30 PM  
mostlyfilm.files.wordpress.com

The only female ninja I care about.
 
2013-09-26 11:25:05 PM  

FatherChaos: Could of been one of my former students.  Her name was Shinobu (忍)


Hmm. Did she look like this?

www.wallmay.net
 
2013-09-26 11:51:10 PM  
Its got a FARK ready line too: "Police showed up shortly after to find Bray straddling the stern of the boat without pants."

I wont have what he's having.
 
2013-09-27 12:57:30 AM  

megarian: Quantum Apostrophe: Does anyone know who this equine-thighed ninja is?

Yeah. My new wallpaper. Thanks.


You like equine thighs too? We should hang out.
 
2013-09-27 02:08:01 AM  
I think I saw this movie.
 
2013-09-27 02:30:27 AM  

mesmer242: Boojum2k: mesmer242: I have a feeling I'm missing the reference here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Empowered_characters#Kozue_Kabu ra gi.2C_aka_Ninjette

Thanks, now putting a hold on the first volume through the library.


You'd feel real, ultimate, and powerful.
 
2013-09-27 09:06:31 AM  
I like female ninjas who are stern without pants.
 
2013-09-27 10:28:25 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: johnson442: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Running from a ninja is usually your last mistake.

As opposed to what? NOT running?

Honestly, have you ever tried just sitting down and talking to your ninja?

You mean just be like "what up my ninja?"


HEY!!! FARKER!!! That's OUR word!!!
 
2013-09-27 12:06:00 PM  

Skyrmion: mesmer242: Unless all ninjas are actually women and no one told me. That'd be pretty cool too. Maybe women should keep ninja and male ninjas should become ninjos?

FWIW, the term is kunoichi.


THANK YOU. I came here to point this out to the Sundry ignorant masses, but I see that my job is done.
 
2013-09-27 12:43:01 PM  

washington-babylon: Skyrmion: mesmer242: Unless all ninjas are actually women and no one told me. That'd be pretty cool too. Maybe women should keep ninja and male ninjas should become ninjos?

FWIW, the term is kunoichi.

THANK YOU. I came here to point this out to the Sundry ignorant masses, but I see that my job is done.


I'm actually glad to know there's a real word for female ninja, if that helps. It's good to know one exists. Thanks skyrmion!
 
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