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(Gawker)   Cute girl is heading to the gym in 26 minutes   (gawker.com) divider line 700
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28005 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2013 at 8:10 AM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-26 09:41:39 AM

kronicfeld: uber humper: His book is getting bombed in the reviews.

/That there, is an asshole

When you click "look inside," it just takes you to a video of a tumbleweed blowing across the opening to an infinitely dark abyss.


You forgot to mention the sucking sound
 
2013-09-26 09:42:04 AM
You can tell from her "I own a condo" line that she is one of those 20 somethings who's parents gave her the down payment for a condo and who's monthly support checks that they send her pays for the mortgage. I know and have known plenty of them. All think they are special and get mad at you when you point out to them that their parents are supporting them.

But with that said I bet she got so pissed at this guy because he was probably the first truly rich guy that she hooked up with in D.C, not somebody trying to look rich, and though she met the one who was going to take care of her. When he broke things off with her it ended her plans of being taken care of.
 
2013-09-26 09:42:08 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: Lady J: mesmer242: Lady J: The Muthaship: Jim from Saint Paul: Lady J: yay a woman-hating thread. we're not all biatches, just like men aren't all useless

9/10.

Simple. Effective. Broad to the point where men will feel the need to clarify, when they shouldn;t have to since it's clear who they are biatching about.

Good stuff.

DAMMIT!!!!!

I wasn't even!

Read the SECOND post in the thread, thats what prompted me to post. Perhaps too swiftly.

I know the kind of thread you're talking about, but this wasn't a likely trigger for it (and they've become less common as fark has gotten older and/or more female). Regardless, if there was ever a risk for it, your post warded it off. Sorry you had to inflict some damage to your own rep for the inoculation to work.

Rep... haha. Meh

BY the way, i was wrong

10/10 obviously. It's the only thing quoted like 15 times in the thread.

:)


Score!
 
2013-09-26 09:42:11 AM

uber humper: kronicfeld: uber humper: His book is getting bombed in the reviews.

/That there, is an asshole

When you click "look inside," it just takes you to a video of a tumbleweed blowing across the opening to an infinitely dark abyss.

You forgot to mention the sucking sound


My speakers were off for my own safety.
 
2013-09-26 09:42:37 AM

s2s2s2: mbillips: He sexted her on his work Bberry? After coffee and one date? OK, she's a psycho, but he's an idiot she's probably lying about the sexts.


Ball gowns are the new wizard's hat and robe...
 
2013-09-26 09:42:50 AM

s2s2s2: uber humper: His book

She's a man?


That's where the smart money is
 
2013-09-26 09:42:57 AM
What's the faux pas in texting a gentle "thanks, but no"? They had one date.

/ I don't even have a phone that texts, a bit luddite that way
 
2013-09-26 09:43:18 AM

serial_crusher: IdBeCrazyIf: In fact that right there is a case study in hitting on and banging the ugliest one in the group to get the best looking one to throw everything she has at you in bed

Does that work in a group like this?  She's clearly their leader, so she'll be the one gunning for you if you bang the lowest tier.
I guess the hottest one in the group (that's not saying much though.  Crazy eyes and a chin like Bruce Campbell) could be the Starscream to her Megatron and try to compete for your attention as a power grab, but now you're playing a game of endurance.  Good luck on that.


That's the awesome thing about this kind of group, the hottest one there is clearly not the leader which means it actually gives you even more power over the entire group as a whole. Yes it is endurance because you have to spurn the leader while you work your way through the group, but ultimately you will be rewarded as each successive conquest after the next will allow you to sink them even further into depravity.

Hell I'd even say that's threesome material group right there.

/lulz on the Starscream metaphor
 
2013-09-26 09:44:46 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-26 09:44:48 AM
Well, her blog just got a few more hits so... mission accomplished, Gawker.

In other news, call her ass and tell her you don't want to continue the relationship, pansy.
 
2013-09-26 09:44:49 AM
She's Hannah Horvath injected with Marnie's personality. But he thinks she's Samantha from Sex and the City.

/This post brought to you by an employed, straight male in his 30s.
 
2013-09-26 09:45:24 AM

uber humper: That's where the smart money is


I just read on Fark that it's in the boxes of cookies at Walmart.
 
2013-09-26 09:47:32 AM
Women never seem to be able to handle rejection very well. It always brings out the inner psycho.
 
2013-09-26 09:48:07 AM
The rarest of birds, the Plump Asian Skank

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-26 09:48:40 AM

star_topology: Well, her blog just got a few more hits so... mission accomplished, Gawker.

In other news, call her ass and tell her you don't want to continue the relationship, pansy.


He doesn't want to give her the time to trace the call.
 
2013-09-26 09:48:59 AM
I love this thread so much.
 
2013-09-26 09:50:07 AM

crab66: [i.imgur.com image 850x566]


I lol'd
 
2013-09-26 09:50:33 AM

crab66: [i.imgur.com image 850x566]


Looks like they watched Sex and the City a little too closely.  Those kind of broads were the easiest --- put on a suit and smoke a cigar and they'd flock around you.

/They're 25 year old cougars
 
2013-09-26 09:52:00 AM
She's channeling Margaret Cho, too.
 
2013-09-26 09:52:45 AM

LandOfChocolate: The rarest of birds, the

North American small breasted Plump Asian Skank

[images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x540]


FTFY
 
2013-09-26 09:52:47 AM
When I was in college I pledged a frat and within a few months I realized that was a huge mistake and transferred to another college.  The new college was on a different schedule so every once in a while I was able to drop back in for a visit, it didn't matter when, there was always a party.  At one of these visits I meet a girl that wouldn't leave my side, I get pretty drunk and say, okay why not. Back to her dorm we go, about 5am I have to piss and being a girls dorm I had to go to the lobby.  The lobby guard wouldn't allow me to go back up without an escort so I left.  I didn't catch the room number or her last name.

6 months pass before I'm able to visit again. Just so happens the Frat is having a blowout party with 400+ people attending.  In the middle of this crowd I'm suddenly surrounded by 5 girls I had never seen before, poking and pushing at me and wanting to know why I haven't called their friend.  Huh? Who's your friend?  The gang of girls parts to reveal a short, dumpy, plain jane with greasy hair, coke bottle glasses, sheepish look wearing an Amish styled frock.    Nope doesn't ring a bell, I say, "I have no idea who she is", which further enraged the group. I turned and fled from the angry mob and disappearing into the mass of people.  With some breathing room I was able to gather some memories and realize who that girl was.  Jeez what an asshole I was. That was my last visit back to the old University until my son started going there 30 years later.  I gave him some advice, "don't join a frat."
 
2013-09-26 09:53:12 AM

frepnog: [img.fark.net image 850x566]let's start.

Far left - absolute CRAZY.  Will chop your dick off for any imagined slight.
Second from left - ugly girl that paints her face on with a trowel to try and build a face that doesn't look like a mask stolen from on of the guys from Slipknot.  PLUSES  - No self esteem, will let you pee on her.
Center - our hero, classic stalker.  Nuttier than squirrel shiat.  Has false self esteem - that is, none, so pretends with great force and furious anger, but will allow you to shiat on her chest, has been involved in at least one corporate bukkake party when working as an escort.  No pluses - run.
Second from right - the only sane one, not ugly, not exactly pretty.  Hangs out with these girls because they do go to interesting places, will meet some guy in accounting and get pregnant and married in less than a year.  Will move to country and churn out kids, become a full time soccer mom.  Into light BDSM, but only in secret,  total sub.
Far Right - fat girl in hiding, completely insane.  On bi-polar medication.  Arrested once for stabbing a co-worker while working at Starbucks.  Will end up farking a politician and ruin a democrat's chances for re-election.


This picture is the poster child for "hot" girls in DC. All the girls in DC are like 5/10, but since they're ALL 5/10, they all think they're 10/10.

They're all fat too.  Ugh.
 
2013-09-26 09:54:01 AM
And if a guy did the same thing to a woman, he'd be misogynist
 
2013-09-26 09:54:13 AM

uber humper: crab66: [i.imgur.com image 850x566]

Looks like they watched Sex and the City a little too closely.  Those kind of broads were the easiest --- put on a suit and smoke a cigar and they'd flock around you.

/They're 25 year old cougars


Twiddle a glass of single malt and they think your impressive.
Buy them one and they're yours.

Blech. Blech. Blech.
/Did the D.C. dating thing.
//Never again.
///Will never touch another woman who drinks whiskey.
//slashies
 
2013-09-26 09:56:12 AM

CleanAndPure: Anyone want to bet daddy bought that condo for her that she is so proud of?


Back in the day, I went on a blind date with some woman who was in her early 20s and living in Boston. We met for dinner and I asked what she does for a living. She said she was a school teacher. We talked about careers and being out of college, and she kept going on about how it's awesome to have "finally made it", you know, "arrived in life." Later in the conversation it came up that she lives on Newbury Street (which, in Boston, is a very expensive area to live) and drove a BMW. On a school teacher's salary? Also mentioned was her family's house on Martha's Vineyard. So now I pretty much know that everything she has was given to her by her parents. Her attitude of being self-made was so off-putting.

topcon: Um, "dating" for two weeks, it's perfectly acceptable to "break up" over text.


Around the same time as the above story I went on one date with a woman who was roommates with my friend's girlfriend. No chemistry. A week later my friend and I were throwing a Halloween party at his place. Of course his GF was there, but she brought along her roommate without telling us. So I'm flirting with this other woman at the party, and the roommate girl comes up behind me, puts her arms around me and says "Surprise! I made it!" and I get the stink-eye from the girl I was hitting on. Roommate girl continues to cling on me for the rest of the party. She gets horrendously drunk. She wanders off and ends up laying down on my roommates bed. She starts puking, and someone comes up to me and says, "Your GF is asking for you. She wants to get some water." WTF?! So I bring her water, and she looks up at me with puke on her chin and says, "Some second date, huh?" I go find her roommate, tell her to take her home, and we pour her into the car. The next day she send me an email promising that our "third date" will go better. I wrote back and said I didn't think it had been a date, and honestly, I wasn't interested. I was absolutely BERRATED by the entire gaggle of her friends the next time I ran into them for "breaking up with her over email."
 
2013-09-26 09:56:48 AM
"I'm better than you,"

By Miss Pu.

Except:

I was born in abject poverty in Cobb county Georgia. I remember looking forlornly at our 50ft outdoor swimming pool and being envious of the Wangs down the street with their indoor-heated pools. I knew then I wanted to rise above it. I couldn't see living in a 4000sq ft cottage for the rest of my life.

Daddy always said I was special and if I worked hard anything was possible. So I moved to DC to work hard on getting banged up by a senator. With a little down payment from Daddy my hard-work payed off and I found myself the owner of a condo. At just 25 I had my own place.

I couldn't find any senators that met my expectations, so one morning between twinkees I decided I didn't need a senator; I am special and better than everyone else. What I needed was a loser from a bar. Someone who would be privileged to date me.

I found a drunk loser... took him home, gave him bjs and let him stick it in my majestic arsehole.

He didn't say much... just groaned and said "oh yeah... that's good" but I knew it meant he loved me and I would give meaning to his life. We would be married before I turned a matronly 26. Little did I know he had a mental disorder that wouldnt allow him to see that I am a goddess and a perfect catch.
 
2013-09-26 09:57:57 AM

mbillips: I bet her Craig's List ad says that she's "sassy" (a biatch), "painfully honest" (mean), and "a free spirit" (crazy), who "wants the best" (is a snob) and is "willing to go out and get it." (selfish and greedy).


THANK YOU!  Finally, a data dictionary of this shiate.
 
2013-09-26 09:58:05 AM
No amount of hotness could make up for this level of crazy.
 
2013-09-26 09:59:19 AM
just met he is not looking for a relationship and hopes she'll understand because she's "funny, smart" and "cool"; girl proceeds to ruin guy's life by forwarding private text messages he sent her to his bosses, said the website that makes its living posting inane bits of people's private lives.
 
2013-09-26 10:00:28 AM

LandOfChocolate: The rarest of birds, the Plump Asian Skank

[images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x540]


Hilarious
 
2013-09-26 10:00:40 AM

Slaxl: I once broke up with a girl by text because I didn't quite think the relationship had reached any point of seriousness. I misjudged where she thought the relationship was. It was all shiat, I'm still surprised she even liked me, well she doesn't anymore. Still, it taught me a lesson, never assume stuff, and just break up in person. Though I still haven't learned where the best place to do it is. Everywhere is too public.


Never, ever break up in private. Ever. You do, and it's your word against his/hers - and guess who everyone will believe?
 
2013-09-26 10:00:50 AM
She reminds me of my co-worker. Her last boyfriend left her by moving all of his stuff out of their place while she was at work and texting her that they were done. He then changed his number, stopped checking the e-mail she had, and abandoned his Facebook account. He basically went into witness protection.

Knowing her, it was the best way he could have handled it. He was right to be scared.
 
2013-09-26 10:02:09 AM

theflatline: She comes in the room gives you less than stellar breakfast head, and throws her stubbly leg over yours and starts planing your life together.


Oh god, the stubbly leg...
 
2013-09-26 10:03:46 AM

FinFangFark: flup: 1) Obviously we have a dumb insecure biatch situation here

2) I don't understand the headline. What's the whole gym in 26 minutes joke?

longtime fat joke on Fark.


No, it's not.
 
2013-09-26 10:05:24 AM

serial_crusher: s2s2s2: mbillips: He sexted her on his work Bberry? After coffee and one date? OK, she's a psycho, but he's an idiot she's probably lying about the sexts.

Ball gowns are the new wizard's hat and robe...


So that's why I've been seeing them a lot at Target

/andthanksfortheTF!
 
2013-09-26 10:05:40 AM
I'm sure this has been said, or perhaps I'm missing something...  But why is she so clearly upset over a guy whom she only went out with twice?  Maybe the guy should have broken up in person, but what the hell, she clearly took that insult and responded 3 or 4 levels above the original transgression.  I'm willing to bet she overreacts frequently.

I'm also pretty sure her little lesson and attempt to teach this guy to treat women better has totally backfired and he's probably laughing at all this.
 
2013-09-26 10:08:36 AM
She looks fat.
 
2013-09-26 10:09:12 AM
There's a reason there aren't many cum dumpster blogs dishing D.C. dirt.
Kissing and telling and not having the social intelligence to know why not will get you put outside the house there.
 
2013-09-26 10:09:18 AM
She "likes" Sen. Ted Cruz on her Fb page. Proof that she's a twunt.
 
2013-09-26 10:10:05 AM

Rapmaster2000: It reminds me of "I live in a Buckhead high-rise WITH a concierge".


It's douchey to use that as a status symbol but trust me, if you ever make the mistake of sticking your dick in crazy, a concierge is great to have. Most won't even have the nerve to come in the building and try to get past the doorman and the few who do, won't get anywhere near your door.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I'm still trying to figure out the "as a 25 year old with a condo" comment. That makes you cool...why? Doesn't this just say to the world, "I hate renting, but I love sharing walls with complete strangers"?


It's a question of quality of construction and quality of neighbors. If you own in a quality building with logically thought out floor plans and good construction practices, you rarely hear the neighbors. If you're in a low end building made up of cheap sheetrock with bedrooms next to the neighbor's living room and half the units rented out to freshmen at the local community college, you're going to have a bad time.
 
2013-09-26 10:12:42 AM
If your whole attitude is "OMG U can't HANDLE me!!1!!" - well, sure we can, ladies.  Maybe with a RACAL suit and some headache meds.  But why bother?  Emotional rabies isn't "passionate".  It's a nail in the foot of whoever is dating you.
 
2013-09-26 10:13:32 AM

frepnog: [img.fark.net image 850x566]let's start.

Far left - absolute CRAZY.  Will chop your dick off for any imagined slight.
Second from left - ugly girl that paints her face on with a trowel to try and build a face that doesn't look like a mask stolen from on of the guys from Slipknot.  PLUSES  - No self esteem, will let you pee on her.
Center - our hero, classic stalker.  Nuttier than squirrel shiat.  Has false self esteem - that is, none, so pretends with great force and furious anger, but will allow you to shiat on her chest, has been involved in at least one corporate bukkake party when working as an escort.  No pluses - run.
Second from right - the only sane one, not ugly, not exactly pretty.  Hangs out with these girls because they do go to interesting places, will meet some guy in accounting and get pregnant and married in less than a year.  Will move to country and churn out kids, become a full time soccer mom.  Into light BDSM, but only in secret,  total sub.
Far Right - fat girl in hiding, completely insane.  On bi-polar medication.  Arrested once for stabbing a co-worker while working at Starbucks.  Will end up farking a politician and ruin a democrat's chances for re-election.


Your newsletter sir, I wish to subscribe.
 
2013-09-26 10:13:35 AM

RedTank: I'm sure this has been said, or perhaps I'm missing something...  But why is she so clearly upset over a guy whom she only went out with twice?  Maybe the guy should have broken up in person, but what the hell, she clearly took that insult and responded 3 or 4 levels above the original transgression.  I'm willing to bet she overreacts frequently.

I'm also pretty sure her little lesson and attempt to teach this guy to treat women better has totally backfired and he's probably laughing at all this.


We can only assume that she was far more in to this dude than she wants anyone to know.  If that weren't the case, she wouldn't have put out so much energy to get back at him for the insult of how he dumped her.

Of course, now we all know that she was far more in to him than she wants anyone to know.  Clearly she is nowhere near as smart as she thinks she is.
 
2013-09-26 10:14:15 AM
Christ, this chick sounds like an ex of mine.  This is exactly the type of person (not just woman) that I avoid.  Once this level of narcissism becomes evident, I steer clear, unless I have to deal with them in a professional manner.  And she needs to be dealt with in a professional manner.  Maybe a good psychologist or...

th01.deviantart.net
 
2013-09-26 10:14:55 AM

RedTank: I'm sure this has been said, or perhaps I'm missing something...  But why is she so clearly upset over a guy whom she only went out with twice?


She's crazy. I can tell by the pixels, and I've dated a few crazy women in my day.
 
2013-09-26 10:15:18 AM

EngineerAU: It's a question of quality of construction and quality of neighbors. If you own in a quality building with logically thought out floor plans and good construction practices, you rarely hear the neighbors.


I don't think I will ever shell out 200k for the privilege of sleeping in an apartment building,
 
2013-09-26 10:15:26 AM
You can see the insecurity seeping out of her pores. She's a slightly overweight, average looking girl with tits that are already sagging at 25. Everything she says/writes screams "validate how awesome I am! I'm awesome, right?"

Men do this too, btw. CSB: I once met a guy online and we had one date. One date. He drove from an hour away and we spent the day together, dining, shopping, hiking (hiked around a winery). He documented the entire day, having strangers take pics of us standing under a gazebo set for a wedding, and one at our table...it wasn't a casual "hey were having wine and cheese pic...he took my hands and gazed into my eyes for this very serious, touching picture. He was sweating and shaking the whole time. He had a habit of grabbing my arm to lead me around. He also was brutally up front and honest about his IBS problem and openly, loudly farted. Being in the car with him was like a rolling Dutch oven.

I was creeped out by his intensity, so told him by phone I wasn't interested in another date (I forget the excuse I made up). Anyway, this guy called me for six months after that and always acted indignant and pissed when I didn't recognize his number. He even showed up at my house twice (and he lives an hour away) and once at my office.

Apparently, some people take that first date pretty damn seriously.
 
2013-09-26 10:15:47 AM

bunner: a 26-year-old DC "memoirist" who runs a Beltway "events, society, and gossip" blog

:  /

:  \

Is that code for "some chick daddy's unmarriable chubby little princess without a job who hangs out with people who do found her to be an easy conduit into daddy's wallet"?


Yep.  Spot on, bunner.
 
2013-09-26 10:16:18 AM

Zombie Eater: Christ, this chick sounds like an ex of mine.  This is exactly the type of person (not just woman) that I avoid.  Once this level of narcissism becomes evident, I steer clear, unless I have to deal with them in a professional manner.  And she needs to be dealt with in a professional manner.  Maybe a good psychologist or...

[th01.deviantart.net image 300x396]


Good thing his rule was only no women no kids, now all you gotta do is come down to price and disposal
 
2013-09-26 10:16:48 AM
If Martha Stewart were fat, Asian, and an successful loser with no sense of style.
 
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