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(io9)   10 things you probably didn't know about Star Wars: Return of the Jedi   (io9.com) divider line 104
    More: Obvious, Return of the Jedi, Star Wars, Jedi, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Ian McDiarmid, Ralph McQuarrie, Billy Dee Williams  
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15005 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Sep 2013 at 10:20 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-25 09:36:21 PM
That list should have been named "Ten Really Dumb Things Lucas Almost Did".
 
2013-09-25 09:38:56 PM
The number one thing that virtually nobody knows about ROTJ:

Those little bears on Endor? You know what they're called, right? Of course, Ewoks. How did you know? They are not named in the movie. Not even a single time.

The Ewoks are George Lucas' biggest sellout, even more so than Jar-Jar Binks. They were created for the sole purpose of selling toys.
 
2013-09-25 09:52:30 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: The number one thing that virtually nobody knows about ROTJ:

Those little bears on Endor? You know what they're called, right? Of course, Ewoks. How did you know? They are not named in the movie. Not even a single time.

The Ewoks are George Lucas' biggest sellout, even more so than Jar-Jar Binks. They were created for the sole purpose of selling toys.


They were originally supposed to be Wookiees, iirc.
 
2013-09-25 10:28:47 PM
See, back then people weren't afraid to challenge Lucas on some of his stupid ideas. When it came time to make the prequels, he wasn't going to listen to anyone, and well . . . we got the pile of shiat.

Come on J.J., we're counting on your. (Please no lens flare though.)
 
2013-09-25 10:30:49 PM

fusillade762: Adolf Oliver Nipples: The number one thing that virtually nobody knows about ROTJ:

Those little bears on Endor? You know what they're called, right? Of course, Ewoks. How did you know? They are not named in the movie. Not even a single time.

The Ewoks are George Lucas' biggest sellout, even more so than Jar-Jar Binks. They were created for the sole purpose of selling toys.

They were originally supposed to be Wookiees, iirc.


Lucas couldn't reconcile at the time how a primitive race could produce someone like Chewbacca, who was so tech-savvy
 
2013-09-25 10:33:36 PM
Luke becoming Vader would have been....dumb. And out of nowhere.
 
2013-09-25 10:35:20 PM
ArkAngel:

Lucas couldn't reconcile at the time how a primitive race could produce someone like Chewbacca, who was so tech-savvy

Hell, even I could handwave that.

Their culture is old and enlightened, and they value the simpler things in life.  They aren't primitive because they don't understand tech, they're primitive because they don't value it.

Okay, now whip that up into a five page long treatise with a bunch of invented terms and shiat.
 
2013-09-25 10:36:44 PM

VTGremlin: Luke becoming Vader would have been....dumb. And out of nowhere.


Out of nowhere?  No...what about when Luke faces his own fear on Dagobah during his first round of Jedi training with Yoda?  He cuts off Vader's head and (spoiler alert!) it's Luke!  There was always that undertone of Luke possibly turning to the darkside throughout the movies...and it was explored in greater detail in the books.

Out of those 10, I actually thought that idea would have been really awesome.  And killing off Han Solo probably could have worked out pretty cool, too.
 
2013-09-25 10:37:42 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.
 
2013-09-25 10:37:43 PM
Lucas: ..."he's a teacher, not a real Jedi." And Yoda is like a Guru, who "doesn't go out and fight anybody." And Yoda wouldn't be any good in a fight, against someone like Darth Vader...

Oh George. Next you'll be telling me going back and changing movies years after they've been around is bad or that too much CG is a distraction and not be used as a substitute for plot.
 
2013-09-25 10:39:43 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: They were created for the sole purpose of selling toys.


Could you please explain exactly what part of the entirety of Star Wars that sentence doesn't apply to?

Also, Jar Jar was not selling out - unless the definition of selling out is "I will now spend an absurdist amount of time shoving a minstrel show down people's throats for no goddamn reason."  Most of use call that being a racist farktard, not selling out.
 
2013-09-25 10:41:53 PM
"No, Luke. I am your mother."
 
2013-09-25 10:45:42 PM
Everyone knows that only those with high levels of midichlorians in their blood can use the Force.

That religious mumbo jumbo that Obi Wan used to explain the Force to Luke in A New Hope? That's just what it was: religious mumbo jumbo.
 
2013-09-25 10:45:48 PM
Lucas worried that the reveal of a known actor would distract people, who "wouldn't take it seriously," said no George Lucas ever in his entire career.
 
2013-09-25 10:49:11 PM

Lor M. Ipsum: VTGremlin: Luke becoming Vader would have been....dumb. And out of nowhere.

Out of nowhere?  No...what about when Luke faces his own fear on Dagobah during his first round of Jedi training with Yoda?  He cuts off Vader's head and (spoiler alert!) it's Luke!  There was always that undertone of Luke possibly turning to the darkside throughout the movies...and it was explored in greater detail in the books.

Out of those 10, I actually thought that idea would have been really awesome.  And killing off Han Solo probably could have worked out pretty cool, too.


What?  You mean Episode 3 all over again?  From protecting the Jedi to killing kids in 10 minutes?

How about no?
 
2013-09-25 10:50:25 PM
One thing some of you probably knew: Femi Taylor (Oola aka Jabba's dancer that ends up Rancor lunch) was able to reprise her role for the 1997 Special Edition new scenes.

One thing you probably didn't know: she was hot in '83, she was still hot in '97, and she remains hot now.  No birth date available, but you have to figure she's in her 50's by now.  I'd still hit that like a Star Destroyer on a collision course.

/If only...
 
2013-09-25 10:53:25 PM

fusillade762: That list should have been named "Ten Really Dumb Things Lucas Almost Did".


Well, number three is blatantly trolling us with the midi-chlorian/lightsaber yoda retcons, so it's more about a really dumb thing that Lucas actually did do.
 
2013-09-25 10:54:37 PM

Mister Peejay: ArkAngel:

Lucas couldn't reconcile at the time how a primitive race could produce someone like Chewbacca, who was so tech-savvy

Hell, even I could handwave that.

Their culture is old and enlightened, and they value the simpler things in life.  They aren't primitive because they don't understand tech, they're primitive because they don't value it.

Okay, now whip that up into a five page long treatise with a bunch of invented terms and shiat.


How about: Chewbacca was a genetic experiment to try to make a race of super-warriors from teddy bears. Would that work?
 
2013-09-25 10:55:39 PM
Yeah, yeah. And in the first draft of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy was supposed to fight a Nazi with a cybernetic arm.
True story.
 
2013-09-25 10:56:03 PM

Mister Peejay: ArkAngel:

Lucas couldn't reconcile at the time how a primitive race could produce someone like Chewbacca, who was so tech-savvy

Hell, even I could handwave that.

Their culture is old and enlightened, and they value the simpler things in life.  They aren't primitive because they don't understand tech, they're primitive because they don't value it.

Okay, now whip that up into a five page long treatise with a bunch of invented terms and shiat.


Also the Empire enslaved Wookies and if I remember correctly Chewie was a slave Han freed which would account for getting familiar with tech.

Anyone feel that?  I think that was my virginity coming back....
 
2013-09-25 10:56:31 PM
I was linked to I09, and saw this link earlier.  If I'd known I could get a green just buy submitting it without any change to the article's headline...

/angry
//probably would have tried the tried and true "misspelling" headline or something
///would have come out like "10 thinks you probably didn't know about SWROJ"
////or "10 things you pro-babby didn't know about SWROJ" and peeple would have thought it was about orange juice or something
 
2013-09-25 11:00:11 PM
fta "this is for kids."

[Leia_Metal_Bikini.jpg]
 
2013-09-25 11:03:12 PM

VTGremlin: Luke becoming Vader would have been....dumb. And out of nowhere.


Honestly, something like that might have been doable if Luke had taken Vader's offer in the second film to try and know his father and in the 3rd film explored luke struggling with morality of resisting the allure of power and mitigate the tyranny of the emperor.  Sort of like the emperor reborn saga but with Vader still around and the father son relationship more developed.
 
2013-09-25 11:04:30 PM
The end of Jedi could have been worse. It could have been a Grease style song and dance with Han and Leia flying off in a souped up Landspeeder.
 
2013-09-25 11:05:21 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: The number one thing that virtually nobody knows about ROTJ:

Those little bears on Endor? You know what they're called, right? Of course, Ewoks. How did you know? They are not named in the movie. Not even a single time.

The Ewoks are George Lucas' biggest sellout, even more so than Jar-Jar Binks. They were created for the sole purpose of selling toys.


Even at 15 years old I went from sitting there being totally blown away by the speeder bikes and that whole killer chase sequence to being disgusted at the appearance of those absurd little cheese-ball characters. It was like, am I suddenly watching the muppet show? Lucas deserves a boot in the nuts for the Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks.
 
2013-09-25 11:07:06 PM

blue_2501: [upload.wikimedia.org image 440x229]

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.


Which is why I have kept our VHS and VHS tapes of Star Wars for many years now- because I refuse to pay for the "new" versions of the movies which didn't change anything that would have made an improvement.
 
2013-09-25 11:08:56 PM
I've played through some of the SW games, seen the movies, read a few of the books, and the whole 'turn to the dark side' thing has always pestered me.

Now, I get that untrained Force people can easily turn to the dark side and go evil.   Hell, they can't help it, they're not trained or anything...

But, for the love of god, why does every Jedi that go evil do a complete swap from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil in less than 5 minutes?  Why?  It's completely unbelievable.  You've trained all your life to resist the temptation of the dark side and suddenly, after giving in ONE TIME, you become a Hannibal Lector or Pol Pot faster than shiat?  lol wat

And when you do, you suddenly become best friends with the people that were trying to kill you 90 seconds ago?  You agree to work for them?  Serve them?  What?  You might as well rename yourself Darth Snidely.
 
2013-09-25 11:10:47 PM

bborchar: blue_2501: [upload.wikimedia.org image 440x229]

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.

Which is why I have kept our VHS and VHS tapes of Star Wars for many years now- because I refuse to pay for the "new" versions of the movies which didn't change anything that would have made an improvement.


There's a set of DVDs that has the original, unedited cut on them, just in case your tapes ever wear out.

/it'd be nice if they'd simply remaster those and release them
//maybe Disney'll see the light
 
2013-09-25 11:18:43 PM

Clutch2013: One thing some of you probably knew: Femi Taylor (Oola aka Jabba's dancer that ends up Rancor lunch) was able to reprise her role for the 1997 Special Edition new scenes.


Another thing you probably know is she has the only nudity in any SW movie.
 
2013-09-25 11:20:22 PM

Zombie DJ: Yeah, yeah. And in the first draft of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy was supposed to fight a Nazi with a cybernetic arm.
True story.


What! That would have been farking rad!
 
2013-09-25 11:22:15 PM

Infernalist: But, for the love of god, why does every Jedi that go evil do a complete swap from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil in less than 5 minutes?


For the movies one has to accept that Lucas is a crappy writer but there is also the constraints of time involved.

For the books, I am not entirely certain about when Jacen Solo was set on the path to the darkside.  Hints of it came out during the Yuuzhan Vong war as Jacen started concluding that the ends justified the means and the later story line of him taking over the galactic alliance carried that over as he used ends justified the means for pretty much anything.  It may not be as quick a change as one would think based on the Lucas films.  Jacen was morphing into a dark jedi prior to actually taking on a the sith mantle.
 
2013-09-25 11:22:27 PM

Mister Peejay: ArkAngel:

Lucas couldn't reconcile at the time how a primitive race could produce someone like Chewbacca, who was so tech-savvy

Hell, even I could handwave that.

Their culture is old and enlightened, and they value the simpler things in life.  They aren't primitive because they don't understand tech, they're primitive because they don't value it.

Okay, now whip that up into a five page long treatise with a bunch of invented terms and shiat.


I think you just described  Star Trek: Insurrection. You just need some aliens who's faces are falling off and an evil Star Fleet admiral.
 
2013-09-25 11:24:21 PM

rdu_voyager: I think you just described Star Trek: Insurrection.


Oh God, I had almost forgotten about that movie.  Why did you have to remind me?
 
2013-09-25 11:25:27 PM

fusillade762: That list should have been named "Ten Really Dumb Things Lucas Almost Did will eventually incorporate into the diamond release ".


FTFY
 
2013-09-25 11:31:11 PM

AbiNormal: fusillade762: That list should have been named "Ten Really Dumb Things Lucas Almost Did will eventually incorporate into the diamond release ".

FTFY


Lucas no longer owns, nor has the ability to do anything else to Star Wars.
 
2013-09-25 11:34:02 PM

Gergesa: rdu_voyager: I think you just described Star Trek: Insurrection.

Oh God, I had almost forgotten about that movie.  Why did you have to remind me?


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

That storyline is a bit older than Insurrection.
 
2013-09-25 11:39:09 PM

fusillade762: That list should have been named "Ten Really Dumb Things Lucas Almost Did".


And we're done. Lucas was like a retard playing with a jigsaw version of The Hero with a Thousand Faces. He would assemble something recognizable and appealing only to randomly chuck his shiat at it.
 
2013-09-25 11:43:02 PM

blue_2501: [upload.wikimedia.org image 440x229]

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.


You can buy DVDs of the originals, they're just really expensive:  http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Complete-Episodes-Blu-ray/dp/B003ZSJ2 1 2/dp/B001EN71DG

My four year old daughter has only seen the original , 1977 release of Episode IV (although, it's titled simply "Star Wars" in the crawl because it's the 1977 release).  When she's old enough to get the "OMG" moment of Vader being Luke's father, I'll show her the original release of Empire.
 
2013-09-25 11:43:56 PM

doctor wu: Lucas deserves a boot in the nuts for the Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks.


Have you seen Lucas? To boot him in the nuts, you'd need to stand in a ditch. Clearly, the furry dwarves are representative of himself. His ego accounts for their excessive number.
 
2013-09-25 11:49:15 PM

timujin: bborchar: blue_2501: [upload.wikimedia.org image 440x229]

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.

Which is why I have kept our VHS and VHS tapes of Star Wars for many years now- because I refuse to pay for the "new" versions of the movies which didn't change anything that would have made an improvement.

There's a set of DVDs that has the original, unedited cut on them, just in case your tapes ever wear out.

/it'd be nice if they'd simply remaster those and release them
//maybe Disney'll see the light


The DVDs were kind of a crap release, a total middle finger to fans that wanted to at least have good quality transfers of both versions. They are widescreen, but non-anamorphic so the actual picture resolution is something like 240p if you take out the black bars, so it looks like rubbish if you put it up on a HDTV and zoom it to fill the screen.

I'm hoping that now that Disney owns the rights to the movies, they'll do a proper Blu-Ray release with the special editions plus a restored edition of the theatrical release. Robert Harris has already said he could probably put together a Godfather-quality restoration from the surviving film stock, intermediates, and good quality prints if Lucasfilm would just put him on the job. Hopefully someone at Disney will realize the money that is being left on the table and give the old school fans what they want by the time the new Trilogy hits screens.
 
2013-09-25 11:51:35 PM

blue_2501: That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.


The originals were put out on SvD a long while ago. They probably will be again.
 
2013-09-25 11:52:59 PM
I just don't care.

And, yes, I came in here to state this.
 
2013-09-25 11:57:49 PM

meanmutton: My four year old daughter has only seen the original , 1977 release of Episode IV (although, it's titled simply "Star Wars" in the crawl because it's the 1977 release).  When she's old enough to get the "OMG" moment of Vader being Luke's father, I'll show her the original release of Empire.


Has she called you out on caring way too much about absurd things and told you to put Dora the Explorer back on yet?

//I mean, I grabbed the one DVD release of the original cuts when it was available too, but c'mon, seriously?  At the end of the day it's just a pulp-derivative action movie like half the output of Hollywood in the two decades bracketing it.  All she's going to get out of it is going to be "people in the 70s and 80s sure loved their corny dialogue" anyhow, no need to obsess.
 
2013-09-25 11:59:29 PM

Mad_Radhu: timujin: bborchar: blue_2501: [upload.wikimedia.org image 440x229]

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.

Which is why I have kept our VHS and VHS tapes of Star Wars for many years now- because I refuse to pay for the "new" versions of the movies which didn't change anything that would have made an improvement.

There's a set of DVDs that has the original, unedited cut on them, just in case your tapes ever wear out.

/it'd be nice if they'd simply remaster those and release them
//maybe Disney'll see the light

The DVDs were kind of a crap release, a total middle finger to fans that wanted to at least have good quality transfers of both versions. They are widescreen, but non-anamorphic so the actual picture resolution is something like 240p if you take out the black bars, so it looks like rubbish if you put it up on a HDTV and zoom it to fill the screen.

I'm hoping that now that Disney owns the rights to the movies, they'll do a proper Blu-Ray release with the special editions plus a restored edition of the theatrical release. Robert Harris has already said he could probably put together a Godfather-quality restoration from the surviving film stock, intermediates, and good quality prints if Lucasfilm would just put him on the job. Hopefully someone at Disney will realize the money that is being left on the table and give the old school fans what they want by the time the new Trilogy hits screens.


That's what I've been waiting for for many years now.  I heard really bad things about the DVD version, so I kept waiting for an HD version.  I hope Disney would give the people what they want because it would be an easy way to make a buck for all of the people who want an HD version of the original.
 
2013-09-26 12:13:03 AM
11. The sand on Tatooine was actually cocaine, and Carrie Fisher snorted it ALL.
 
2013-09-26 12:16:20 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Everyone knows that only those with high levels of midichlorians in their blood can use the Force.

That religious mumbo jumbo that Obi Wan used to explain the Force to Luke in A New Hope? That's just what it was: religious mumbo jumbo.


Well, that certainly explains why the Admiral was so dismissive of Vader. If men of science know that the "force" is nothing more than dogmatic religious mumbo jumbo some cultist made up to explain side-effects of being infected by space bacteria; then those who would continue to believe that being Sith/Jedi is necessary to harnessing the power would probably be looked upon poorly. They'd be intelligent design preachers of the Star Wars universe.
 
2013-09-26 12:21:05 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: "No, Luke. I am your mother."


Oh, dont go there.
unrealitymag.bcmediagroup.netdna-cdn.com

/or do you?
 
2013-09-26 12:25:15 AM

ArkAngel: Lucas couldn't reconcile at the time how a primitive race could produce someone like Chewbacca, who was so tech-savvy


Easy.

Luke: But I don't understand!

Han Solo: Shut up you whiny hick.
 
2013-09-26 12:31:53 AM

Korzine: AverageAmericanGuy: Everyone knows that only those with high levels of midichlorians in their blood can use the Force.

That religious mumbo jumbo that Obi Wan used to explain the Force to Luke in A New Hope? That's just what it was: religious mumbo jumbo.

Well, that certainly explains why the Admiral was so dismissive of Vader. If men of science know that the "force" is nothing more than dogmatic religious mumbo jumbo some cultist made up to explain side-effects of being infected by space bacteria; then those who would continue to believe that being Sith/Jedi is necessary to harnessing the power would probably be looked upon poorly. They'd be intelligent design preachers of the Star Wars universe.


It's not "infected" nor is it space bacteria.  They make it VERY clear throughout the OT that the Force is INHERITED. It's strong in your family... Your father, your sister... blah blah blah. There's never a doubt that the ability to detect and control the Force, in the final versions of the films (not the SE, but the original theatrical), is a genetic trait that Luke is likely to have because his father was strong in the Force.

And I still say the idea that Shmi was impregnated by midichlorians is silly; It's clear what happened. She was impregnated by Sidious or Plagueis (the old fashioned way), who used the Force to wipe her memory of the event... The goal was the creation of Vader and/or Luke. Bringing about the prophecy to "bring balance" to the Force, which if you look at the score at the time (Jedi: 10,000, Sith: 2) meant killing a lot of Jedi.

And the Jedi were too mired in their red tape and tradition to interpret the prophecy that way. Their downfall was their arrogance and loss of connection to the living Force. Qui Gon knew this.
 
2013-09-26 12:35:36 AM

meanmutton: blue_2501: [upload.wikimedia.org image 440x229]

That this extended music number never existed in the original.  You know, because an entire generation cannot see the originals, and they wouldn't know.

So much stupid BS with the added scenes.

You can buy DVDs of the originals, they're just really expensive:  http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Complete-Episodes-Blu-ray/dp/B003ZSJ2 1 2/dp/B001EN71DG

My four year old daughter has only seen the original , 1977 release of Episode IV (although, it's titled simply "Star Wars" in the crawl because it's the 1977 release).  When she's old enough to get the "OMG" moment of Vader being Luke's father, I'll show her the original release of Empire.



If you actually care about surprising her with that twist, keep in mind that she will find out about it much sooner than you realize (especially if she's interested in Star Wars at all).
 
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