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(Jezebel)   Lady is making 300 sandwiches to get engagement from a man who tells her, "You've been up for 15 minutes and you haven't made me a sandwich?" There is hope for us all   (jezebel.com) divider line 219
    More: Fail, sandwiches, Prince Charming, Daniel Tosh  
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11229 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Sep 2013 at 5:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



219 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-25 07:38:46 PM  
Find people who actually believes that making a sandwich for anybody, male or female, is a gender power struggle.

Hit them with a brick.

Go home.  Make two sandwiches.

Give one to your sweet babboo.  Nom.  Ta da.
 
2013-09-25 07:40:06 PM  
Oh, yeah...   "MEN SUCK!   BUY OUR T-SHIRT AND KEEP THE STRUGGLE REAL!"  *snort*
 
2013-09-25 07:40:41 PM  
Jesus, can this, "I AM OUTRAGED BY SOMETHING I READ ON SOMEONE'S BLOG!" metablogging shiat stop already?

Who farking cares?
 
2013-09-25 07:44:36 PM  

China White Tea: Jesus, can this, "I AM OUTRAGED BY SOMETHING I READ ON SOMEONE'S BLOG!" metablogging shiat stop already?

Who farking cares?


Websites that count on ad revenue clicks.
 
2013-09-25 08:00:44 PM  
By the end of this that guy will never want to eat another sammich again.
 
2013-09-25 08:07:32 PM  

A Terrible Human: By the end of this that guy will never want to eat another sammich again.


You never know...

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-25 08:08:39 PM  
How about instead of 300 sandwiches, maybe a few of those crazy megasandwiches that Shaggy would make in those Scooby Doo cartoons?

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-25 08:18:07 PM  

JohnnyC: RedPhoenix122: Has it always been like this, or is it just recently that Jezebel seems to be nothing more than actively trying to look for things to be upset about?  It's almost as bad as right-wing butthurt.

Always been like this. Though no reason to be vague... the "things to be upset about" you mentioned is always men. No matter what the subject is, it is the fault of men, men did it, men ruined it, men got in the way of it, men destroyed it, men oppressed it, or any other variation where men can be hated as a result of whatever the story is.

According to Jezebel.com, women are perfect examples of humanity and men are everything that is wrong with the world. That's about it.


Jezebel's Hero:

pjmedia.com
 
2013-09-25 08:24:39 PM  
Disappointed to find nobody working on the blowjob-to-sandwich conversion rate.

I'm willing to set the bar fairly low, since I love sandwiches and they never taste as good when I make them for myself. Sheer number of ingredients isn't important, assuming it's tasty. A delicious grilled ham-and-cheese, for example, would probably clock in at 0.5 bj. A well made Reuben could get as high as 1:1, assuming the corned beef is home cooked.
 
2013-09-25 08:30:06 PM  

aelat: blowjob-to-sandwich conversion rate


www.geekologie.com
 
2013-09-25 08:41:30 PM  
I have a similar agreement with my girlfriend.
If she's there in the morning and I wake up and haven't gotten a blowie in 15 minutes or less...  her next black eye is free.
 
2013-09-25 08:44:21 PM  

RedPhoenix122: Has it always been like this, or is it just recently that Jezebel seems to be nothing more than actively trying to look for things to be upset about?  It's almost as bad as right-wing butthurt.


It's even worse than right-wing butthurt...it's left-wing female butthurt.
 
2013-09-25 08:59:01 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: I have a similar agreement with my girlfriend.
If she's there in the morning and I wake up and haven't gotten a blowie in 15 minutes or less...  her next black eye is free.


You are late to the thread, but I bet you still get some bites....

What is the one about what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
 
2013-09-25 09:02:54 PM  

Oztemprom: Ryker's Peninsula: I have a similar agreement with my girlfriend.
If she's there in the morning and I wake up and haven't gotten a blowie in 15 minutes or less...  her next black eye is free.

You are late to the thread, but I bet you still get some bites....

What is the one about what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-25 09:04:34 PM  
I'd prefer to make my own sandwiches and not put up with having a troll in the house.
 
ecl
2013-09-25 09:22:51 PM  

here to help: See... here's the thing. I don't care about these people. I do not care about the author's caring about these people and I do not care about subby's caring about the author's caring about these people.

Now all that is left to do is for some Fark snarkwit to come along and point out how my lack of caring is obviously false due to the fact I went to the bother of clicking the article, reading it then clicking on the thread and commenting on said article.

I care about that Farker least of all.


We care less about you.
 
2013-09-25 09:25:24 PM  
Jezebel was a princess, identified in the Hebrew Book of Kings as the daughter of Ethbaal, King of Tyre (Phoenicia) and the wife of Ahab, king of north Israel.

According to the biblical accounts, Jezebel incited her husband King Ahab to abandon the worship of Yahweh and encourage worship of the deities Baal and Asherah instead. Jezebel is said to have persecuted the prophets of Yahweh, and to have fabricated false evidence of blasphemy against an innocent landowner who refused to sell his property to King Ahab, causing the landowner to be put to death. For these transgressions against the God and people of Israel, the Bible relates, Jezebel met a gruesome death - thrown out of a window by members of her own court retinue, and the flesh of her corpse eaten by stray dogs.



Yeah... Nice farkin' role model, ladies.

Jezebel is where bitter, angry women go for their Two-Minutes' Hate... All day.
 
2013-09-25 09:32:30 PM  
I've only read the article from the NYPOST(Which she writes for)

Still thing the dude is a douchebag, and if she feels she has to make a shiatton of unique sandwiches to sell a book and/or get a diamond ring from him more power to her.

I'll still be free to think it comes off as foolish and desperate, whether it be for his attention or the world's.
 
2013-09-25 09:34:14 PM  
Those sandwiches should be the only thing he's allowed to eat for the rest of his life, no matter how much they rot.
 
2013-09-25 09:43:07 PM  
www.slashfood.com
 
2013-09-25 09:43:18 PM  
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-25 09:48:16 PM  
Coco LaFemme:

Damn you posted a lot of this thread... but the thing I don't get, and this is re: marriage.

Can you imagine how much money you would have saved on taxes alone?

Romantic nonsense aside, marriage has and always will be a financial arrangement in addition to whatever cultural flavor of lovey doveyness you ascribe to. That's just leaving money on the table, I don't get it.
 
2013-09-25 09:51:12 PM  
Erin Gloria Ryan has some really serious emotional problems.
 
2013-09-25 10:03:19 PM  

Researcher: Coco LaFemme:

Damn you posted a lot of this thread... but the thing I don't get, and this is re: marriage.

Can you imagine how much money you would have saved on taxes alone?

Romantic nonsense aside, marriage has and always will be a financial arrangement in addition to whatever cultural flavor of lovey doveyness you ascribe to. That's just leaving money on the table, I don't get it.


Is this a trust troll?
 
2013-09-25 10:05:51 PM  
It doesn't sound like this guy clarified that the 300 sandwiches be different kinds of sandwiches.

/PB&J for all 300.
 
2013-09-25 10:09:23 PM  
Read some of TFA. That's so stupid!
Same guy after they get married.

i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-25 10:35:00 PM  
I'm no expert or anything, but I'm guessing that 90% of the story she's peddling has been either outright made up or dramatically overhyped in order to drum up additional traffic to her website. Nothing gains clicks more than saying something outrageous to the right newspaper that's geared to get the maximum amount of butthurt from both sides.
 
2013-09-25 10:40:39 PM  
Just make him a manwich, dear.
 
2013-09-25 10:53:52 PM  

libranoelrose: Researcher: Coco LaFemme:

Damn you posted a lot of this thread... but the thing I don't get, and this is re: marriage.

Can you imagine how much money you would have saved on taxes alone?

Romantic nonsense aside, marriage has and always will be a financial arrangement in addition to whatever cultural flavor of lovey doveyness you ascribe to. That's just leaving money on the table, I don't get it.

Is this a trust troll?


He has a point. She could save herself some money on taxes and take half of his shiat if she ever decides to leave. There are zero downsides for her.

/for her bf on the other hand...
 
2013-09-25 11:51:28 PM  

mediablitz: PsiChick: ReapTheChaos: PsiChick: mediablitz: The woman who wrote the story doesn't sound bitter AT ALL.

Because naturally, when watching someone make three hundred sandwiches for a guy whose morning line is 'why haven't you made me a sandwich yet', the first reaction is to be jealous and bitter that you can't attract THAT fine specimen of humanity.

/Seriously, articles like this are great reminders of why being single can be a good thing.

Perhaps if you read the woman's actual blog, instead of the rant filled man hate biatch fest on Jezebel, you would have a better understanding of the situation. But then again you may simply prefer to hate a guy you know nothing about.

Aaaand the guy still comes off as a social retard. It's not hate. Some people are jerks--on purpose or accidentally, whatever--and that's how the world spins. Just because Jezebel says something doesn't mean it's automatically wrong.

No. You made a snap judgement. You just admitted you didn't go to the woman's blog until I said something. Your confirmation bias was firmly in place. Nothing was going to change your mind.

Your critical thinking was non-existent.

I agreed with Jezebel yesterday regarding a real housewife and her husband promoting spousal rape. I agreed because I FOLLOWED UP beyond the initial story.

You were ready to hate, and Jezebel made it easy. Obfuscate all you want.


Hey, genius? It's not a snap judgement if you're reading excerpts from the blog...that turn out to be  literally the content of the page. Jezebel didn't take anything out of context, didn't screw up facts.  It's the same damn scenario--a moran cares more about sandwiches than anything else, and another moran is sticking around for some reason. That's stupid. It'd be stupid no matter what gender was on what side, what color the people involved, or if the people involved were three-headed aliens.
 
2013-09-26 12:03:07 AM  

JohnnyC: Literally Addicted: If my guy ever said 300 sandwiches = an engagement ring, I would make all 300 in one day and make him eat them and watched his stomach explode like the guy in Seven.

Perhaps you should warn him about this... He should know how easily you would go completely psychotic on him and attempt to kill him like a serial killer. It's only fair you warn him now before he makes the mistake of offering an engagement ring in an 'unapproved' fashion (or at all).


'Unapproved'? No - it was purely insulting. No person should think themselves such a great catch that they're willing to debase someone else to prove (or in this guy's case, bestow) their love. Its pure humiliation.

Relationships should be an equal partnership, not blackmail.
 
2013-09-26 12:04:45 AM  
PsiChick:
Hey, genius? It's not a snap judgement if you're reading excerpts from the blog...that turn out to be  literally the content of the page. Jezebel didn't take anything out of context, didn't screw up facts.  It's the same damn scenario--a moran cares more about sandwiches than anything else, and another moran is sticking around for some reason. That's stupid. It'd be stupid no matter what gender was on what side, what color the people involved, or if the people involved were three-headed aliens.

Why do you seem so mad about it? What is this "anything else" that he should be focusing on more than his shared interests with his fellow foodie spouse?

I'm going to go ahead and say I think you're not being honest about this--either with us ITT or with yourself--and that you do, actually, care that it's a man that likes sandwiches and a woman who is "sticking around" with him. I call shenanigans on your "no matter what gender" unless you can convince me that this is otherwise worthy of such hatred in more detail than "that's stupid."

/you make me lol sometimes
//thank you :)
 
2013-09-26 12:08:36 AM  

FrancoFile: Let me suggest an interpretation that's fair and reasonable to all involved.

"Make me 300 sandwiches" means "be involved with my life for a year, and do something kind, loving, supporting, and nurturing for me."

You only want to marry someone that you know well.  You only want to marry someone who will do nice things for you.  You only want to marry someone with staying power, who can show commitment to a promise and to a person.

Making 300 sandwiches is a way of demonstrating that she fits into those categories.


/or you can put an Oedipus complex interpretation on this
//he wants to marry his mommy cause she makes sammidges for him
///and cuts off the crust, too.


Given that interpretation - where was his show of committment? Or what did he do daily to be nice?

There's really not enough info in the TFA, or even the blog that indicated a 'give and take'.

Sure, I would snark about some guy being all caveman, but IRL, if its not equal, or close enough, forget it. Marrying someone you respect has staying power too.
 
2013-09-26 12:09:32 AM  

Literally Addicted: JohnnyC: Literally Addicted: If my guy ever said 300 sandwiches = an engagement ring, I would make all 300 in one day and make him eat them and watched his stomach explode like the guy in Seven.

Perhaps you should warn him about this... He should know how easily you would go completely psychotic on him and attempt to kill him like a serial killer. It's only fair you warn him now before he makes the mistake of offering an engagement ring in an 'unapproved' fashion (or at all).

'Unapproved'? No - it was purely insulting. No person should think themselves such a great catch that they're willing to debase someone else to prove (or in this guy's case, bestow) their love. Its pure humiliation.

Relationships should be an equal partnership, not blackmail.


For a lot of men food really does equate to love. She's being a good lover, as is he apparently, since he seems to do a lot of culinary stuff as well. What you people being shocked about this don't seem to get is that they're likely bonding over a shared interest. It seems quite healthy to me. She clearly takes pride in creating these sandwiches, making each one unique. Who the fark are you to tell her she should feel humiliated?
 
2013-09-26 12:10:40 AM  

Literally Addicted: FrancoFile: Let me suggest an interpretation that's fair and reasonable to all involved.

"Make me 300 sandwiches" means "be involved with my life for a year, and do something kind, loving, supporting, and nurturing for me."

You only want to marry someone that you know well.  You only want to marry someone who will do nice things for you.  You only want to marry someone with staying power, who can show commitment to a promise and to a person.

Making 300 sandwiches is a way of demonstrating that she fits into those categories.


/or you can put an Oedipus complex interpretation on this
//he wants to marry his mommy cause she makes sammidges for him
///and cuts off the crust, too.

Given that interpretation - where was his show of committment? Or what did he do daily to be nice?

There's really not enough info in the TFA, or even the blog that indicated a 'give and take'.

Sure, I would snark about some guy being all caveman, but IRL, if its not equal, or close enough, forget it. Marrying someone you respect has staying power too.


...So you just assume he's a total dick, naturally.
 
2013-09-26 12:11:11 AM  
It's like Jezebel readers intentionally ignore humor in order to be outraged by the bare words when it's a man saying them.

Clearly, the couple were having a laugh together and his statement was ironic, not a serious "get in there and make me a sammich, biatch."

I run into this a lot around here. People read my posts as if I'm speaking them in anger, and it never occurs to them that I'm laughing or smiling as I write. It's a joke, people. I swear, some of you were born ACHING to be offended.
 
2013-09-26 12:14:23 AM  

Fafai: PsiChick:
Hey, genius? It's not a snap judgement if you're reading excerpts from the blog...that turn out to be  literally the content of the page. Jezebel didn't take anything out of context, didn't screw up facts.  It's the same damn scenario--a moran cares more about sandwiches than anything else, and another moran is sticking around for some reason. That's stupid. It'd be stupid no matter what gender was on what side, what color the people involved, or if the people involved were three-headed aliens.

Why do you seem so mad about it? What is this "anything else" that he should be focusing on more than his shared interests with his fellow foodie spouse?

I'm going to go ahead and say I think you're not being honest about this--either with us ITT or with yourself--and that you do, actually, care that it's a man that likes sandwiches and a woman who is "sticking around" with him. I call shenanigans on your "no matter what gender" unless you can convince me that this is otherwise worthy of such hatred in more detail than "that's stupid."

/you make me lol sometimes
//thank you :)


Um...I'm not actually  mad. I'm just rolling my eyes. I'm  annoyed that someone decided that my logic sucked because I don't hate Jezebel, but I'm not mad at the couple. Not sure why I'm coming off that way, sorry.

/The fails of text...
//But hey, laughing good! XD
 
2013-09-26 12:15:32 AM  

mediablitz: Smelly Pirate Hooker: She should definitely marry him. It can't possibly end badly. He sounds like a real winner.

/had a sandwich for lunch
//made it myself, because I'm a grownup

Pretty funny to see how many people made ZERO effort to go to the website in question, and instead made a snap judgement based on the Jezebel article.

Says a lot...


Lighten up, Francis - its Fark. We're supposed to jump to conclusions and snark. That's half the fun.

Getting peoples' panties in a twist is the other half.

Does NPR have a website? If so, maybe that's the place to read the highbrow comments.
 
2013-09-26 12:20:11 AM  

Fafai: Literally Addicted: FrancoFile: Let me suggest an interpretation that's fair and reasonable to all involved.

"Make me 300 sandwiches" means "be involved with my life for a year, and do something kind, loving, supporting, and nurturing for me."

You only want to marry someone that you know well.  You only want to marry someone who will do nice things for you.  You only want to marry someone with staying power, who can show commitment to a promise and to a person.

Making 300 sandwiches is a way of demonstrating that she fits into those categories.


/or you can put an Oedipus complex interpretation on this
//he wants to marry his mommy cause she makes sammidges for him
///and cuts off the crust, too.

Given that interpretation - where was his show of committment? Or what did he do daily to be nice?

There's really not enough info in the TFA, or even the blog that indicated a 'give and take'.

Sure, I would snark about some guy being all caveman, but IRL, if its not equal, or close enough, forget it. Marrying someone you respect has staying power too.

...So you just assume he's a total dick, naturally.


I said no such thing. I said there wasn't enough info to indicate...oh, nevermind. Read it how you want.
 
2013-09-26 12:23:07 AM  

Kenny B:


That made me laugh.
 
2013-09-26 12:25:34 AM  
It's like people think she's weak or "giving in" to her man as though loving union were a constant bloody battle between two hate-fueled combatants or some shiat. It never occurs to them that someone who gives selflessly could be happy or strong. They fail to see that by saying "I'll marry you at 300," he is subverting the traditional gender/power roles and putting the ball in her court, effectively giving her the power to propose, as it were. You'd think these people would recognize and appreciate that kind of stuff but all they want to do is hate.
 
2013-09-26 12:26:32 AM  
PsiChick:
Hey, genius? It's not a snap judgement if you're reading excerpts from the blog...that turn out to be  literally the content of the page. Jezebel didn't take anything out of context, didn't screw up facts.  It's the same damn scenario--a moran cares more about sandwiches than anything else, and another moran is sticking around for some reason. That's stupid. It'd be stupid no matter what gender was on what side, what color the people involved, or if the people involved were three-headed aliens.

I feel sorry for your love life if you don't see there is at least a chance that this is a romantic gesture based on a non serious joke. Jezebel's response is infantile. Why do you think it is healthy to view every action as some power game?
 
2013-09-26 12:27:33 AM  

Literally Addicted: Read it how you want.


You wanted to kill the guy like in Seven. That was you right?
 
2013-09-26 12:35:17 AM  
Man, that author is a farking coont.
 
2013-09-26 12:43:01 AM  

Mock26: Man, that author is a farking coont.


I'm thinking it is an act. No one would put up with her shrill non-sense for any period of time. She is either: lonely and bitter, a hypocrite who says things for a paycheck or a self hating feminist. You cannot believe that crazy stuff and be in an adult relationship. I guess I left out that she has found herself a sufficiently self loathing male, but that just brings us back to hypocrite.
 
2013-09-26 12:50:44 AM  

Fafai: Literally Addicted: Read it how you want.

You wanted to kill the guy like in Seven. That was you right?


Did I write that about him? No.

Did I say if MY guy tried to equate making sandwiches to a requirement in earning a proposal of marriage that I would make him eat all 300 at once until he busted a gut? Yes.

If you're going to pick on what I say, at least have the courtesy to read.
 
2013-09-26 12:55:02 AM  
FTA:

all women have needed to do this whole time is make sandwiches. Every magazine that you gals like to read can go ahead and close up shop

It's sarcastic but this is totally true. Sandwiches, cookies, banana bread... all better advice than anything in those magazines.
 
2013-09-26 12:55:45 AM  

lockers: PsiChick:
Hey, genius? It's not a snap judgement if you're reading excerpts from the blog...that turn out to be  literally the content of the page. Jezebel didn't take anything out of context, didn't screw up facts.  It's the same damn scenario--a moran cares more about sandwiches than anything else, and another moran is sticking around for some reason. That's stupid. It'd be stupid no matter what gender was on what side, what color the people involved, or if the people involved were three-headed aliens.

I feel sorry for your love life if you don't see there is at least a chance that this is a romantic gesture based on a non serious joke. Jezebel's response is infantile. Why do you think it is healthy to view every action as some power game?


Well, yes, there is a  chance, I just don't think it's very  likely based on how the author of the blog is phrasing things and talking about what she does.

I am also firmly of the opinion that most people in love are stupid anyway. Myself included.
 
2013-09-26 01:01:43 AM  

Literally Addicted: Fafai: Literally Addicted: Read it how you want.

You wanted to kill the guy like in Seven. That was you right?

Did I write that about him? No.

Did I say if MY guy tried to equate making sandwiches to a requirement in earning a proposal of marriage that I would make him eat all 300 at once until he busted a gut? Yes.

If you're going to pick on what I say, at least have the courtesy to read.


In your hypothetical, your man is a stand-in for this guy just as you are a stand-in for her. You set up the same scenario except with you and your man in their places so you could demonstrate how it should have gone and show this poor woman how she should have reacted. Which was to commit murder by sandwich.
 
2013-09-26 01:03:05 AM  

PsiChick: lockers: PsiChick:
Hey, genius? It's not a snap judgement if you're reading excerpts from the blog...that turn out to be  literally the content of the page. Jezebel didn't take anything out of context, didn't screw up facts.  It's the same damn scenario--a moran cares more about sandwiches than anything else, and another moran is sticking around for some reason. That's stupid. It'd be stupid no matter what gender was on what side, what color the people involved, or if the people involved were three-headed aliens.

I feel sorry for your love life if you don't see there is at least a chance that this is a romantic gesture based on a non serious joke. Jezebel's response is infantile. Why do you think it is healthy to view every action as some power game?

Well, yes, there is a  chance, I just don't think it's very  likely based on how the author of the blog is phrasing things and talking about what she does.

I am also firmly of the opinion that most people in love are stupid anyway. Myself included.


I agree.
 
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