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(Yahoo)   JP Morgan to Department of Justice: so how's about we write you a check with a three and nine zeros after it to make all this unpleasant bickering and arguing about a few tiny criminal and civil laws we may have violated go away?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 271
    More: Obvious, Justice Department, investigation, JPMorgan Chase & Co.  
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11063 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Sep 2013 at 11:21 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



271 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-25 11:09:19 AM
How about no and prison?
 
2013-09-25 11:13:43 AM
This is the sort of thing China executes people over.
 
2013-09-25 11:24:49 AM
Whoa, JP is willing to settel? What the fark have they found?
 
2013-09-25 11:25:07 AM
Well, why not? Prisoners (and appeals) cost money; fines make money. If you can levy a fine instead of adding a prisoner, everybody wins.
 
2013-09-25 11:25:07 AM

nekom: This is the sort of thing China executes people over.


as should we.
as should we
 
2013-09-25 11:25:43 AM
We were damn close to lynchmob levels of hatred for these farks back in 2008. It's a shame that we let them forget it.
 
2013-09-25 11:25:53 AM
How about fines AND prison?
 
2013-09-25 11:25:58 AM
I swear, there's a song that sounds relevant for this but for the life of me I can't remember what it is...
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-25 11:26:13 AM
The real question is whether they'll have to admit wrongdoing along with the fine.
 
2013-09-25 11:26:24 AM
Note: 3 billion dollars was probably taxpayer bailout money anyhow.
 
2013-09-25 11:26:54 AM
Come on guys it isn't like they laundered money for the cartels and banks don't even get in trouble for that.
 
2013-09-25 11:27:43 AM
How long did it take them to accept?
 
2013-09-25 11:28:46 AM

vudukungfu: How about no and prison?


That's what SHOULD happen, because otherwise the big financial institutions simply treat such settlements as a cost of doing business and will treat malfeasance as a strictly financial cost/benefit ratio.

But of course we all know that won't happen, they will settle for some amount and likely not even need to admit wrongdoing.
 
PJ-
2013-09-25 11:29:12 AM
Too big to fail.

Once again, billions of dollars of damage, and not one person who was responsible for this will see jail time because, COME ON DOWN!!! YOUR THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE GOVERNMENT PRICE IS RIGHT!!!!!
 
2013-09-25 11:29:17 AM
Fark Progressivism: where a $3 billion fine is chump change.
 
2013-09-25 11:29:28 AM
It's like the good old days, when a landed man could kill or rape a poor and avoid prison by buying his way out. Yay for progress.
 
2013-09-25 11:30:57 AM
J.P. stands for Just Pretend nothing happened.
 
2013-09-25 11:31:01 AM

nekom: This is the sort of thing China executes people over.


Yes, typically fast rising young executives who aren't related to the company owner and lack politically connected parents.
 
2013-09-25 11:31:46 AM
This is class warfare against the thieving grifter class.
 
2013-09-25 11:33:12 AM
Anytime a financial company offers to settle, the DOJ should counter-offer with at least one more zero.   Remember the "Robo-signing" mess? The one where all the banks were caught violating the real-eastate laws of pretty much every state in the union by falsifying foreclosure documents?

After the State Ag's got together to sue those companies jointly the  banks came, hat in hand and admitted they'd been so very bad that they were willing to settle the case and pay an eye-popping $5 billion to make things right.   The AG's almost went for it too, but Lizzie Warren, god bless her, then acting head of the CFPB had her economists do a study to determine how much money the  banks had saved themselves by violating the law the way they had.

The number came back at TWENTY billion Dollars.   That's why the evenutal settlement number in those cases was $25 billion not $5
 
2013-09-25 11:33:15 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-25 11:34:41 AM
How about add add at least one more zero, the CEO and senior staff does time (at a minimum security prison, I'm not a barbarian) and the US gov't starts actually regulating the "banking" "industry".

/Yes, I put petulant quotes on two words in a row, what of it?
 
2013-09-25 11:35:01 AM

Irving Maimway: I swear, there's a song that sounds relevant for this but for the life of me I can't remember what it is...


Bicycle, by Queen?
 
2013-09-25 11:35:13 AM
How about all of  their assets and put the top 200 managers in prison for 20 years?  That sounds fair.
 
2013-09-25 11:35:36 AM
No more buying your own justice.  This shiat ain't gonna stop until people at the top start doing hard time in prison.
 
2013-09-25 11:36:13 AM

Blues_X: How about fines AND prison?


this
 
2013-09-25 11:36:14 AM

Millennium: Fark Progressivism: where a $3 billion fine is chump change.


JPMorgan Chase 2012 Revenue: $97 billion (http://investing.money.msn.com/investments/stock-income-statement/?s ym bol=us%3ajpm)

Yea, it's kinda "chump change."
 
2013-09-25 11:36:45 AM

Magorn: The AG's almost went for it too, but Lizzie Warren, god bless her, then acting head of the CFPB had her economists do a study to determine how much money the banks had saved themselves by violating the law the way they had.


And this is why Elizabeth Warren is probably the best Senator the US has had in decades.

/I realize that Obama was a Senator, feed that into your right wing assumption machine
 
2013-09-25 11:37:05 AM
Bah, that's probably an hour's profit to them. (I'm sure someone has the figures.)

Someone with a real set of balls would have laughed right in their pasty banker's faces:

static.comicvine.com
 
2013-09-25 11:37:18 AM

Pincy: No more buying your own justice.  This shiat ain't gonna stop until people at the top start doing hard time in prison.


Not just any prison:

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-09-25 11:37:44 AM

pseudoscience: Millennium: Fark Progressivism: where a $3 billion fine is chump change.

JPMorgan Chase 2012 Revenue: $97 billion (http://investing.money.msn.com/investments/stock-income-statement/?s ym bol=us%3ajpm)

Yea, it's kinda "chump change."


I'm also assuming you can write fines off at tax time too.  So it won't even feel like a full 3 billion.
 
2013-09-25 11:38:33 AM
Banks can loan themselves to create the cash out of nothing. Then, they can default on their own loan and write it off their taxes.
 
2013-09-25 11:40:18 AM

Prophet of Loss: Banks can to loan to themselves to create the cash out of nothing. Then, they can default on their own loan and write it off their taxes.

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning."

-- Henry Ford
 
2013-09-25 11:40:21 AM

Apik0r0s: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x737]


Indeed. Remember when Usury wasn't just a word but a sin? Sigh.
 
2013-09-25 11:40:48 AM

MadSkillz: Note: 3 billion dollars was probably taxpayer bailout money anyhow.


JP Morgan got $25b from the American tax payer and has paid that back, in fact the taxpayer made a $1.75b profit on the deal. GM on the other hand have still cost the tax payer $15.

Source

/Don't work for JPMC
//OK, working onsite at JPMC
 
2013-09-25 11:41:16 AM
Take the check *and* move forward with prosecution in court.
 
2013-09-25 11:41:56 AM
fine or bribe?
 
2013-09-25 11:42:24 AM

Irving Maimway: Pincy: No more buying your own justice.  This shiat ain't gonna stop until people at the top start doing hard time in prison.

Not just any prison:

[076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcd n .com image 720x336]


Came to mention....that PMITA was a necessity....leaving satisfied.
 
2013-09-25 11:42:24 AM
And not a person will spend time in jail, nor will any 'settlement' go to actual victims as restitution.
 
2013-09-25 11:42:26 AM
I will take that 3 billion bribe, and continue to charge you even MORE.  in fact, we are going to remove your ability to insure your money with the FDIC and the ability to settle out of court forever
 
2013-09-25 11:42:36 AM

Millennium: Fark Progressivism: where a $3 billion fine is chump change.


It's chump change if you made more than $3 billion out of your misdeeds.
 
2013-09-25 11:42:41 AM

blazemongr: Well, why not? Prisoners (and appeals) cost money; fines make money. If you can levy a fine instead of adding a prisoner, everybody wins.


Because some people need to go to jail.  I'd like to see some greedy fark(s) who knowingly broke the law, causing the tanking of the economy and the ruin of millions of Americans way of life and lots of others have taken a substaitial hit in the quality of their lives, through no fault of their own.

Not only that, but flat out lying about junk products they were selling and defrauding investors.  Don't you think those people deserve that?  I know I'll never see a penny of that money, so I'd rather see those farkers go to jail.
 
2013-09-25 11:43:25 AM

Sonneillon: MadSkillz: Note: 3 billion dollars was probably taxpayer bailout money anyhow.

JP Morgan got $25b from the American tax payer and has paid that back, in fact the taxpayer made a $1.75b profit on the deal. GM on the other hand have still cost the tax payer $15.

Source

/Don't work for JPMC
//OK, working onsite at JPMC


I'm pretty sure GM is on the hook for more than 15 bucks.....
 
2013-09-25 11:44:31 AM

Cold_Sassy: blazemongr: Well, why not? Prisoners (and appeals) cost money; fines make money. If you can levy a fine instead of adding a prisoner, everybody wins.

Because some people need to go to jail.  I'd like to see some greedy fark(s) who knowingly broke the law, causing the tanking of the economy and the ruin of millions of Americans way of life and lots of others have taken a substaitial hit in the quality of their lives, through no fault of their own.

Not only that, but flat out lying about junk products they were selling and defrauding investors.  Don't you think those people deserve that?  I know I'll never see a penny of that money, so I'd rather see those farkers go to jail.


I'm a fan of confiscating their wealth, distributing it to their victims, and putting them in a PMITA Federal Prison. There's no reason we can't do all three.
 
2013-09-25 11:46:48 AM
Make no mistake about it. While there are significantly more zeros involved, our government is the penultimate "coke whore".
 
2013-09-25 11:47:09 AM
At the very least, breaking up the banks so they aren't too big to fail should be the cornerstone of every settlement like this.
 
2013-09-25 11:47:11 AM

gweilo8888: Millennium: Fark Progressivism: where a $3 billion fine is chump change.

It's chump change if you made more than $3 billion out of your misdeeds.


Hey, Guyz, I have an idea,,, NO!
Like that'll happen.

Maybe it will cool down w/ another 4-5 years of "investigation".
 
2013-09-25 11:47:30 AM
Jail everybody that was on their board of directors at the time AND fine the bejeeziz out of the company on top of the cost of reparations and court costs.
 
2013-09-25 11:47:32 AM
From that I've heard there is going to be some serious jail time, not the top people who still have jobs, but the traders that caused the latest "problem". The people responsible for what is known as the London Whale scandal are busy trying to blame each other for the $6.2b loss. More here
 
2013-09-25 11:48:29 AM

snocone: gweilo8888: Millennium: Fark Progressivism: where a $3 billion fine is chump change.

It's chump change if you made more than $3 billion out of your misdeeds.

Hey, Guyz, I have an idea,,, NO!
Like that'll happen.

Maybe it will cool down w/ another 4-5 years of "investigation".


We'll be past the statute of limitations by then.
 
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