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(Mother Nature Network)   Sure, anybody can prepare for a total breakdown of society. But can you prepare for a total breakdown of society without looking like a complete lunatic?   (mnn.com) divider line 105
    More: Unlikely, weather disasters, lunatics  
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6600 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2013 at 1:47 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-24 12:02:10 PM
Yes, you can. Just don't be obvious about it. 15 foot high electric fence? Yeah, sure. That would paint you out to be a target real fast.
 
2013-09-24 12:46:03 PM
I've got my winter beard already well grown. I'm going to look like your typical scary Montanan no matter what I do.
 
2013-09-24 12:52:58 PM
Anyone who prepares for "a total breakdown of society" is a complete lunatic.
 
2013-09-24 12:54:53 PM
Allow your current life to be totally consumed and directed by whatever dystopian future you can imagine on the off chance that you'll be able to live incredibly uncomfortably in a post-apocalyptic shiatstorm of murder, rape, and cannibalism.

Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

I'll take death. It's a lot less expensive and probably a lot more fun.
 
2013-09-24 01:08:19 PM

DamnYankees: Anyone who prepares for "a total breakdown of society" is a complete lunatic.


Sure, you say that NOW. But when the World War Z zombies are storming your house, you'll wish you had my 1 year bunker!

/ does not have a 1 year bunker
// I've said too much
/// have to save up slashies now
 
2013-09-24 01:16:23 PM

sigdiamond2000: Allow your current life to be totally consumed and directed by whatever dystopian future you can imagine on the off chance that you'll be able to live incredibly uncomfortably in a post-apocalyptic shiatstorm of murder, rape, and cannibalism.

Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

I'll take death. It's a lot less expensive and probably a lot more fun.


This. If the shiat really goes down, and I'm not killed in the initial disaster, I'll find a way to end my own life as painlessly as possible. Thus, I'm not going to turn my life in the here and now into a joyless hell to prepare for something I'm not equipped to survive anyway.
 
2013-09-24 01:49:26 PM

sigdiamond2000: Allow your current life to be totally consumed and directed by whatever dystopian future you can imagine on the off chance that you'll be able to live incredibly uncomfortably in a post-apocalyptic shiatstorm of murder, rape, and cannibalism.

Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

I'll take death. It's a lot less expensive and probably a lot more fun.


thanks for writing that so i didn't have to. glad i'm not the only one!
 
2013-09-24 01:52:06 PM
Survive Harder With The Brap Method

Step One:  Learn to tap people on their far shoulder and steal their Hot Pockets and Little Debbies while they turn around to see who is there.
 
2013-09-24 01:52:58 PM
Still waiting for "The Road: The Musical".
 
2013-09-24 01:52:59 PM
balancejoyanddelicias.files.wordpress.com
/hot
 
2013-09-24 01:53:08 PM
A few of those aren't too bad.  I'd recommend getting into shape and practicing your outdoorsman skills on a regular basis.
 
2013-09-24 01:54:18 PM
farking assholes with a hobby I don't like! How dare they!
 
2013-09-24 01:55:05 PM
 
2013-09-24 01:55:10 PM

But can you prepare for a total breakdown of society without looking like a complete lunatic?


You could start by preparing for smaller things that might actually happen, like blizzards, floods, wildfires, etc. (Please edit list according to locale.)
 
2013-09-24 01:56:20 PM
1. Buy a gun
2. Wait for shiat to hit fan
3. shiat hits fan
4. Kill self

or

1. Don't buy a gun
2. Wait for shiat to hit fan
3. shiat hits fan
4. Antagonize first person you see with a gun until he kills you
5. (optional) If you're literally the last person alive and can't find a gun, jump off something very very high.
6. (unlikely) If nothing high enough is left, realize you are in a Twilight Zone episode and just wait for someone to turn off the TV.
 
2013-09-24 01:56:31 PM
Preparing for a "total breakdown of society" is the grown-up equivalent of hiding in a fort made out of couch cushions.
 
2013-09-24 01:57:41 PM
13) Learn home brewing. Alcohol is the ultimate bartering tool.
 
2013-09-24 01:58:05 PM

kidakita: Yes, you can. Just don't be obvious about it. 15 foot high electric fence? Yeah, sure. That would paint you out to be a target real fast.


Yep. The guy with the fortress and bunker is sure to have the best stuff. Everybody dogpile on that guy.
 
2013-09-24 01:58:25 PM

Ned Stark: farking assholes with a hobby I don't like! How dare they!


ethikapolitika.org
 
2013-09-24 01:59:19 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: But can you prepare for a total breakdown of society without looking like a complete lunatic?


You could start by preparing for smaller things that might actually happen, like blizzards, floods, wildfires, etc. (Please edit list according to locale.)


Evacuating to a Red Cross shelter in a high school gym just doesn't have that dystopian survival-of-the-fittest feel to it.
 
2013-09-24 01:59:26 PM

kidakita: 15 foot high electric fence? Yeah, sure. That would paint you out to be a target real fast.


Forget that. #2 two on the article's list is to get to know your neighbors. These days, that's a quick and sure way to seem like a complete lunatic!
 
2013-09-24 02:00:14 PM
I'm stockpiling a years worth of frozen pepperoni pizzas, Diet Coke and York Peppermint Patties. I'll be OK.
 
2013-09-24 02:00:20 PM
My wife's parents have a modest collection of food and supplies, which isn't crazy, but they are also stockpiling gold for the inevitable bartering that will go on once Obama opens the 8th seal or whatever.   I hope it's worth as much as they paid for it when my wife inherits it.
 
2013-09-24 02:00:25 PM
Wrong.

1.  Guns
2.  More guns
3.  Get ammo.
4.  If Obama has bought all the ammo, then make ammo.
5.  More guns to defend the ammo.
6.  You need more ammo for the guns that defend the ammo
7.  Dune buggy
8.  Guns for the dune buggy.
9.  Gadsden Flag.
10.  Camo hat
 
2013-09-24 02:00:30 PM
Filthy commie rag...
 
2013-09-24 02:00:35 PM
Better have guns and ammo. That will determine who has what. Your solar panels and garden won't do much for you if you can't protect them.
 
2013-09-24 02:00:45 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: But can you prepare for a total breakdown of society without looking like a complete lunatic?


You could start by preparing for smaller things that might actually happen, like blizzards, floods, wildfires, etc. (Please edit list according to locale.)


Most people I know already do that (Montana, after all). It's a big step from "I'm prepared for 2 weeks of 30 below" to "I can't WAIT for the world to fall into ruin so I can pretend I'm in a TV show!".
 
2013-09-24 02:01:07 PM
And of course, even if the shiat does go down during your lifetime, you'll still probably die before you even know it is happening.

One of these days there will be a real pandemic, and it'll really test our society's resilience.

// Zombie planning has a ton of application to non-zombie situations.
 
2013-09-24 02:01:15 PM
14) Learn where all the Mormons live in your area.

15) Get as far away from the other humans as possible.
 
2013-09-24 02:03:29 PM
How are you going power a 15ft electric fence from 4 solar panels that are mostly likely run to an AC converter that is set to sync phase with grid power which means your solar power won't work when the grid power is out.
 
2013-09-24 02:04:46 PM
What I like about end of the world survivalists is that if some sort of apocalypse does come to pass, there will be plenty of bunkers all over the country just stuffed full of food and guns for the survivors.

Seriously, if you survive the initial breakdown then just cautiously search houses on your travels. Eventually you'll find some loons stash of assault rifles and canned vegetables.
 
2013-09-24 02:05:40 PM
I'm counting on the end of the world beginning with the Yellowstone Caldera blowing. I won't have to deal with anything but a short blast of heat.
 
2013-09-24 02:05:49 PM

JonZoidberg: My wife's parents have a modest collection of food and supplies, which isn't crazy, but they are also stockpiling gold for the inevitable bartering that will go on once Obama opens the 8th seal or whatever.   I hope it's worth as much as they paid for it when my wife inherits it.


Good luck trying to trade shiny metal for anything of value if things really did fall apart. Maybe they can sell it as electronics scrap.
 
2013-09-24 02:05:57 PM

wingnut396: How are you going power a 15ft electric fence from 4 solar panels that are mostly likely run to an AC converter that is set to sync phase with grid power which means your solar power won't work when the grid power is out.


It won't matter. The solar panels are for smashing into shards that you can use to slice open your arteries and drift into oblivion.
 
2013-09-24 02:07:15 PM
Always keep extra food and supplies incase of Blizzards or EMP. Total shutdown, wouldn't want to live through that.
 
2013-09-24 02:07:47 PM
No.
 
2013-09-24 02:09:59 PM

jake_lex: sigdiamond2000: Allow your current life to be totally consumed and directed by whatever dystopian future you can imagine on the off chance that you'll be able to live incredibly uncomfortably in a post-apocalyptic shiatstorm of murder, rape, and cannibalism.

Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

I'll take death. It's a lot less expensive and probably a lot more fun.

This. If the shiat really goes down, and I'm not killed in the initial disaster, I'll find a way to end my own life as painlessly as possible. Thus, I'm not going to turn my life in the here and now into a joyless hell to prepare for something I'm not equipped to survive anyway.


I'm gonna revel in the end of civilization and the freedom it brings.
 
2013-09-24 02:12:26 PM

mediablitz: I'm counting on the end of the world beginning with the Yellowstone Caldera blowing. I won't have to deal with anything but a short blast of heat.


How about an asteroid hit triggering that eruption.
 
2013-09-24 02:13:37 PM

mediablitz: I've got my winter beard already well grown. I'm going to look like your typical scary Montanan no matter what I do.


I am working on mine. I will look like your typical scary Utahn...because, well, I live in Utah.
 
2013-09-24 02:15:01 PM

johnny_vegas: Ned Stark: farking assholes with a hobby I don't like! How dare they!


No, that's pretty much it. Its how they get their kicks. I don't see how being ready for an apocalypse that isn't coming is any more crazy than all guardsmen and russes I have in my closet.
 
2013-09-24 02:23:09 PM
The idiocy of preparing for an apocalypse aside, what the fark good is making your own biodiesel gonna do?  Where do they propose you obtain waste vegetable oil once all your neighbors join nomadic desert biker rape gangs?  Is the KFC still gonna be open?
 
2013-09-24 02:27:18 PM

Valiente: Still waiting for "The Road: The Musical".


The baby bbqing on the spit segment should be great.
 
jvl
2013-09-24 02:28:40 PM
A backyard garden to live off of? Uh, no. If it actually came to that, I'd rather travel to an agricultural area and beg for a job.
 
2013-09-24 02:29:54 PM

sigdiamond2000: Allow your current life to be totally consumed and directed by whatever dystopian future you can imagine on the off chance that you'll be able to live incredibly uncomfortably in a post-apocalyptic shiatstorm of murder, rape, and cannibalism.

Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

I'll take death. It's a lot less expensive and probably a lot more fun.


I'm prepped for a major earthquake with one week's worth of food/water/gear.  But if the shiat really goes down, then I'm eating a bullet.
 
2013-09-24 02:31:18 PM

Ned Stark: Its how they get their kicks


hmmmmm.....good point
 
2013-09-24 02:36:24 PM

mjohnson71: sigdiamond2000: Allow your current life to be totally consumed and directed by whatever dystopian future you can imagine on the off chance that you'll be able to live incredibly uncomfortably in a post-apocalyptic shiatstorm of murder, rape, and cannibalism.

Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

I'll take death. It's a lot less expensive and probably a lot more fun.

I'm prepped for a major earthquake with one week's worth of food/water/gear.  But if the shiat really goes down, then I'm eating a bullet my neighbor.

 
2013-09-24 02:37:58 PM

Esroc: What I like about end of the world survivalists is that if some sort of apocalypse does come to pass, there will be plenty of bunkers all over the country just stuffed full of food and guns for the survivors.

Seriously, if you survive the initial breakdown then just cautiously search houses on your travels. Eventually you'll find some loons stash of assault rifles and canned vegetables.


There is a list online of every currently maintained and decommissioned nuke bunker from the cold war. Almost all of them you cannot get to right now because you'll be having an uncomfortable talk with Military Police and then Homeland security, but in the advent of a societal break down I imagine they would make good hold up spots.
 
2013-09-24 02:45:21 PM

Rezurok: The idiocy of preparing for an apocalypse aside, what the fark good is making your own biodiesel gonna do?  Where do they propose you obtain waste vegetable oil once all your neighbors join nomadic desert biker rape gangs?  Is the KFC still gonna be open?


Gosh, I sure hope so. Boneless chicken is the epitome of our society.
 
2013-09-24 02:46:24 PM
1. Own a cabin in the middle of the woods with generator, solar, and wind power to run the services, a well, and no nearby settlements/cities.
2. Stock with food and outdoor gear.
3. Quietly leave town when shiat starts to go south.
4. ???
5. fark you, I got mine.
 
2013-09-24 02:46:33 PM

BMFPitt: JonZoidberg: My wife's parents have a modest collection of food and supplies, which isn't crazy, but they are also stockpiling gold for the inevitable bartering that will go on once Obama opens the 8th seal or whatever.   I hope it's worth as much as they paid for it when my wife inherits it.

Good luck trying to trade shiny metal for anything of value if things really did fall apart. Maybe they can sell it as electronics scrap.


F'realz. I might trade my pound of canned goods for your pound of gold - assuming I know someone stupid enough to trade me 2 pounds of canned goods for that pound of gold.
 
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