Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WMCTV)   Missing skydiver found 28,006 feet from where someone last saw him   (wmctv.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, West Tennessee, Head Start, WMC-TV  
•       •       •

8741 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2013 at 2:56 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-09-24 09:46:09 AM  
He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright,He checked all his equipment and made sure his pack was tight;He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar,He ain't gonna jump no more!(CHORUS)Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,He ain't gonna jump no more!"Is everybody happy?" cried the Sergeant looking up,Our Hero feebly answered "Yes," and then they stood him up;He jumped into the icy blast, his static line unhooked,He ain't gonna jump no more.(CHORUS)He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock,He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop,The silk from his reserves spilled out, and wrapped around his legs,He ain't gonna jump no more.(CHORUS)The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome,Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones;The canopy became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground.He ain't gonna jump no more.(CHORUS)The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind,He thought about the girl back home, the one he'd left behind;He thought about the medic corps, and wondered what they'd find,He ain't gonna jump no more.(CHORUS)The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild,The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they rolled their sleeves and smiled,For it had been a week or more since last a 'Chute had failed,He ain't gonna jump no more.(CHORUS)He hit the ground, the sound was "SPLAT", his blood went spurting high;His comrades, then were heard to say "A hell of a way to die!"He lay there, rolling 'round in the welter of his gore,He ain't gonna jump no more.(CHORUS)(slowly, solemnly; about half the speed of the other verses)There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the chute,Intestines were a-dangling from his paratroopers suit,He was a mess, they picked him up, and poured him from his boots,He ain't gonna jump no more.Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,He ain't gonna jump no more!
 
2013-09-24 09:48:14 AM  
Don't know what the hell happened there....lets try again with less fail

He was just a cherry trooper and he surely shook with fright
as he checked all his equipment and made sure his pack was tight
He had to sit and listen to the awful engines roar,
And he ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:
Gory, Gory, What a helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a helluva way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.

"Is everybody happy?" cried the Sergeant, looking up.
Our hero feebly answered "yes," and then they stood him up.
He leaped right out into the blast, his static line unhooked.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock;
He felt the wind, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop;
He jerked his cord, the silk spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:

The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome;
The lines were snarled and tied in knots, around his skinny bones;
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:

The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind;
He thought about the girl back home, the one he'd left behind;
He thought about the medics and wondered what they'ed find.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:

The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild;
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they rolled their sleeves and smiled;
For it had been a week or more since last a chute had failed.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:

He hit the ground, the sound was splat, his blood went spurting high;
His comrades were then heard to say, "A helluve way to die";
He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
REFRENG:

There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the chute;
Intestines were a-dangling from this paratrooper's boots;
They picked him up, still in his chute and poured him from his boots.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
 
2013-09-24 10:17:24 AM  
HALODA jumper, High Altitude Low Opening Darwin Approves.
 
2013-09-24 10:55:39 AM  

Eugoogoolizer: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: High Altitude Low Opening? He pretty much tied the record for low opening.

From what I understand, it's actually High Altitude Low Oxygen. Not Opening as the article says.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_altitude_military_parachuting

" HALO (high altitude - low opening) "
 
2013-09-24 10:56:37 AM  
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
 
2013-09-24 11:00:46 AM  

utsagrad123: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.


Or EOD.   Initial success or total failure
 
2013-09-24 11:28:08 AM  
.. and out of a perfectly good airplane ..
 
2013-09-24 11:48:18 AM  
Since it was suppose to be a High Altitude Low Opening jump and the chute doesn't seem to be fully deployed maybe he pulled too low.
 
2013-09-24 11:54:49 AM  

Krikkitbot: shanrick: I wonder what the last thing was that went through his mind.

his feet


His ass.
 
2013-09-24 12:33:12 PM  
The comments below the article say, "Pray for him."
How would that go?

"Dear god, please ... "  what?
 
2013-09-24 01:00:09 PM  

Yes this is dog: wademh: cman: I wonder if they found actual remains that they can do something with

The WTC was 1300 feet and people turned into spaghetti when they hit the ground on 9/11. This guy fell 28000 feet, so yeah.

Terminal velocity and all but why I would respond to you I do not know. Must be time to quit drinking.

On the one hand, a person probably wouldn't hit terminal velocity from 1300 feet, especially in a flopping about free fall. On the other, the skydiver may have had some drag from a partially opened chute.


You reach terminal velocity after about 10 seconds of free fall.  If you jump from an aircraft you reach it faster since you are already traveling the speed of the plane on exit.
 
2013-09-24 01:18:44 PM  
ok, I'll do it...

Looks like he hit...  puts on sunglasses...

terminal velocity.
 
2013-09-24 01:30:27 PM  

CaliNJGuy: Yes this is dog: wademh: cman: I wonder if they found actual remains that they can do something with

The WTC was 1300 feet and people turned into spaghetti when they hit the ground on 9/11. This guy fell 28000 feet, so yeah.

Terminal velocity and all but why I would respond to you I do not know. Must be time to quit drinking.

On the one hand, a person probably wouldn't hit terminal velocity from 1300 feet, especially in a flopping about free fall. On the other, the skydiver may have had some drag from a partially opened chute.

You reach terminal velocity after about 10 seconds of free fall.  If you jump from an aircraft you reach it faster since you are already traveling the speed of the plane on exit.


Someone doesn't understand vectors.
 
2013-09-24 02:14:44 PM  

chopit: CaliNJGuy: Yes this is dog: wademh: cman: I wonder if they found actual remains that they can do something with

The WTC was 1300 feet and people turned into spaghetti when they hit the ground on 9/11. This guy fell 28000 feet, so yeah.

Terminal velocity and all but why I would respond to you I do not know. Must be time to quit drinking.

On the one hand, a person probably wouldn't hit terminal velocity from 1300 feet, especially in a flopping about free fall. On the other, the skydiver may have had some drag from a partially opened chute.

You reach terminal velocity after about 10 seconds of free fall.  If you jump from an aircraft you reach it faster since you are already traveling the speed of the plane on exit.

Someone doesn't understand vectors.


that.
 
2013-09-24 03:35:33 PM  
well if the plane was flying straight down...  (the only good time to jump out of one)
 
2013-09-24 04:52:49 PM  

Darkrover2: [upload.wikimedia.org image 200x317]
Seen lurking in the nearby woods and wanted for questioning.




Nemesis: Sperm bank
 
2013-09-24 06:16:32 PM  
Wonder if they were jumping from the B90 King Air? That's a nice plane.
 
2013-09-25 12:36:24 AM  

shanrick: I wonder what the last thing was that went through his mind.


I am ashamed of you all.

it was "Oh no, Not again".

or a bowl of petunias.
petunias
petunias .
 
2013-09-25 04:21:28 AM  
The one time I had to cut away I think I messed my nice OD green pants up a bit.

And other than total terror and a fast review of all the ways I could screw up
on a cutaway and how I'd be the next lawn dart at Pinal golf course if anything went wrong, was mostly embarrassment
and this bizarre sense of what a stupid way to buy it this was about to be.
 
Displayed 19 of 69 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report