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(Page Six)   Nice guy Anthony Bourdain is helping voluptuous Nigella Lawson get over her shocking divorce. "We're told friendship is strictly platonic"   (pagesix.com) divider line 69
    More: Spiffy, Anthony Bourdain, Nigella Lawson, Charles Saatchi, Chateau Marmont, celebrity chef, nice guy, art collectors, british tv  
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6410 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Sep 2013 at 4:03 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-23 04:01:59 PM
Anthony Bourdain sucks. He has devolved into the very sort of celebrity chef he spent so much time decrying.
 
2013-09-23 04:04:32 PM
A Nigella thread right after a Sofia thread? Can't I have just a few minutes to let my pants return to normal fit?
 
2013-09-23 04:05:50 PM
Don't stick your dick in Nutella.
 
2013-09-23 04:08:25 PM
I'd like to have my meatloaf bake in her toasty oven if you know what I mean and I think you do
 
2013-09-23 04:09:05 PM
I hope he's being hands-on with his helpfulness.

I would be.
 
2013-09-23 04:09:31 PM
that without experimentation, a willingness to ask questions and try new things, we shall surely become static, repetitive and moribund, and by the way Nigella, you clam sauce is out of this world
 
2013-09-23 04:14:56 PM

altside: that without experimentation, a willingness to ask questions and try new things, we shall surely become static, repetitive and moribund, and by the way Nigella, you clam sauce is out of this world


...so to speak.
 
2013-09-23 04:16:24 PM
are we talkin' simon cowell style, full penetration comforting?
 
2013-09-23 04:16:47 PM
I'd love to choke her.

Consensually, of course.

/she could make me a sandwich afterwards
 
2013-09-23 04:18:37 PM

altside: that without experimentation, a willingness to ask questions and try new things, we shall surely become static, repetitive and moribund, and by the way Nigella, you clam sauce is out of this world


Don't you mean "are"?  "Nigella, you clam sauce, are out of this world"?

/concurs
 
2013-09-23 04:20:10 PM

The_Six_Fingered_Man: A Nigella thread right after a Sofia thread? Can't I have just a few minutes to let my pants return to normal fit?


LOL
 
2013-09-23 04:21:25 PM
"He rushed to her side, quickly working his way around to her front"

-- Carrie Fisher, talking about her father Eddie Fisher leaving her mother Debbie Reynolds to "comfort" Elizabeth Taylor when Taylor's husband Mike Todd died.
 
2013-09-23 04:21:35 PM
Thy rack and thy locks of hair shall comfort me

ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2013-09-23 04:26:18 PM
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
"In case of emergency, break open glass!"
 
2013-09-23 04:28:20 PM

Argoran: I hope he's being hands-on with his helpfulness.

I would be.


I bet not. His current wife is 20 years younger than him and an aspiring MMA fighter, specializing in Brazilian jiu jitsu.

That would a hell of a catfight, though. BRB...
 
2013-09-23 04:28:45 PM
Don't stick your dick in Nutella.

Well done Sir.

/+25 intratoobs
 
2013-09-23 04:29:51 PM
It's gonna take a lot of love to make things right.
 
2013-09-23 04:31:49 PM
I bet he's all over that split.
 
2013-09-23 04:34:05 PM
old and frumpy.


www.contactmusic.com
 
2013-09-23 04:34:35 PM
If she doesn't like to be choked, she shouldn't piss off Bourdain's wife ....

www.thebraiser.com
 
2013-09-23 04:35:26 PM
A team of sherpas helping nice guy Anthony Bourdain get over voluptuous Nigella Lawson's mountainous titties
 
2013-09-23 04:39:10 PM
I was choking her, but I didn't have a tight grip?  Huh?
 
2013-09-23 04:43:07 PM
What a trooper.
 
2013-09-23 04:49:57 PM

jdjoker: Argoran: I hope he's being hands-on with his helpfulness.

I would be.

I bet not. His current wife is 20 years younger than him and an aspiring MMA fighter, specializing in Brazilian jiu jitsu.

That would a hell of a catfight, though. BRB...


Came here to say this. Bourdain doesn't dare cheat.


Contrabulous Flabtraption: Anthony Bourdain sucks. He has devolved into the very sort of celebrity chef he spent so much time decrying.


We get it, you hate everything.
 
2013-09-23 04:55:59 PM

fusillade762: jdjoker: Argoran: I hope he's being hands-on with his helpfulness.

I would be.

I bet not. His current wife is 20 years younger than him and an aspiring MMA fighter, specializing in Brazilian jiu jitsu.

That would a hell of a catfight, though. BRB...

Came here to say this. Bourdain doesn't dare cheat.


i did not know this... uh, would not have guessed after seeing her on a couple of no reservations.
 
2013-09-23 05:10:15 PM
i.imgur.com

I would lick savory sauces off various parts of her body.
 
2013-09-23 05:11:35 PM

uknowzit: old and frumpy.


[www.contactmusic.com image 500x747]


Indeed. I mean, a turtleneck? Please.

farm6.static.flickr.com
 
2013-09-23 05:11:48 PM
she is somewhat scrumptious, like spotted dick
 
2013-09-23 05:23:59 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Anthony Bourdain sucks. He has devolved into the very sort of celebrity chef he spent so much time decrying.


Not really.  He's had choice comments for those who had very little cooking skill, never worked in the business, and then pawned themselves off as experts on TV to shill merchandise, but he doesn't do that.

He never calls himself an expert chef, routinely mentions his abilities are rather humble compared to the people he's meeting with, and brands himself as a travel and culture aficionado more than a chef anyway.  Even in his travel shows he doesn't come off as arrogant, he freely admits when he doesn't know something, or has his preconceptions shifted from new experiences.

Aside from random Travel Channel Cafepress t-shirts and the books he's written, he's not shilling products with his name on them all over the place either.
 
2013-09-23 05:27:15 PM
Bourdain is sticking it in Parts Unknown.
 
2013-09-23 05:28:17 PM

TuteTibiImperes: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Anthony Bourdain sucks. He has devolved into the very sort of celebrity chef he spent so much time decrying.

Not really.  He's had choice comments for those who had very little cooking skill, never worked in the business, and then pawned themselves off as experts on TV to shill merchandise, but he doesn't do that.

He never calls himself an expert chef, routinely mentions his abilities are rather humble compared to the people he's meeting with, and brands himself as a travel and culture aficionado more than a chef anyway.  Even in his travel shows he doesn't come off as arrogant, he freely admits when he doesn't know something, or has his preconceptions shifted from new experiences.

Aside from random Travel Channel Cafepress t-shirts and the books he's written, he's not shilling products with his name on them all over the place either.


Yeah, but his guest appearance as the Bastard Chef or whatever on Archer was great.  Hell, he even mocked himself when he was pitching a show about traveling the world and biatching about everybody does stuff wrong.
 
2013-09-23 05:32:14 PM
Who is she?

GIS

That's uhhh.... she's really....I think....

/bunk
/not coming back for a while
 
2013-09-23 05:42:14 PM

Flappyhead: Who is she?

GIS

That's uhhh.... she's really....I think....

/bunk
/not coming back for a while


Oh, you're gonna enjoy this, then.
 
2013-09-23 05:42:35 PM

TuteTibiImperes: Even in his travel shows he doesn't come off as arrogant


Wha?   His whole schtick is "I got my ripped up Ramones t-shirt, my  thumb ring, my hoop ear ring  and I'm traveling punk rawk style, man.   I'm going to take you to the REAL places that the the typical fat tourists don't have the balls to go to, man....... with the help of my pre-arranged native speaking guide that my network is paying for who will take me by the hand and lead me and do all the communicating for me and order everything for me ."
 
2013-09-23 05:53:45 PM

InmanRoshi: TuteTibiImperes: Even in his travel shows he doesn't come off as arrogant

Wha?   His whole schtick is "I got my ripped up Ramones t-shirt, my  thumb ring, my hoop ear ring  and I'm traveling punk rawk style, man.   I'm going to take you to the REAL places that the the typical fat tourists don't have the balls to go to, man....... with the help of my pre-arranged native speaking guide that my network is paying for who will take me by the hand and lead me and do all the communicating for me and order everything for me ."


So you're saying he should be doing shows based on bus tours for middle-aged American and British tourists?  I don't understand the complaint.

Does he have fixers?  Sure, he freely admits it, and introduces them half of the time.  And yes, he doesn't speak every language in the world fluently, so he often has translators.  I've never gotten the impression that he's doing it to rub it in the audience's face though, or saying 'I'm more extreme than you'.  He's just showing some of the gems off the beaten path, though sometimes he shows things that are well known as well, and tries to talk to as many locals as he can to get a feeling of what really drives a place.  A lot of the places he goes many people would feel uncomfortable going, but he doesn't say 'you shouldn't ever go here' or 'you have to come here to really experience wherever' he's just showing that it exists, what's special about it, and letting the audience live vicariously through him for a bit.

As for his fashion sense, what does that have to do with anything?
 
2013-09-23 05:54:09 PM

TuteTibiImperes: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Anthony Bourdain sucks. He has devolved into the very sort of celebrity chef he spent so much time decrying.

Not really.  He's had choice comments for those who had very little cooking skill, never worked in the business, and then pawned themselves off as experts on TV to shill merchandise, but he doesn't do that.

He never calls himself an expert chef, routinely mentions his abilities are rather humble compared to the people he's meeting with, and brands himself as a travel and culture aficionado more than a chef anyway.  Even in his travel shows he doesn't come off as arrogant, he freely admits when he doesn't know something, or has his preconceptions shifted from new experiences.

Aside from random Travel Channel Cafepress t-shirts and the books he's written, he's not shilling products with his name on them all over the place either.


He even went so far on a recent show to point out that he's *not* a chef anymore.

But you'll never convince Contrabulous. He hates Neil deGrasse Tyson, ffs. He's like the Life cereal kid of celebrity professionals.
 
2013-09-23 06:00:41 PM

someonelse: uknowzit: old and frumpy.


[www.contactmusic.com image 500x747]

Indeed. I mean, a turtleneck? Please.

[farm6.static.flickr.com image 640x480]


Holy.. he's gone from hunter s thompson that can cook to mr. roger in what, 5 years?
 
2013-09-23 06:07:49 PM
People actually hate Bourdain? Jesus fark you losers, get a life.
 
2013-09-23 06:12:23 PM
 TuteTibiImperes: I've never gotten the impression that he's doing it to rub it in the audience's face though, or saying 'I'm more extreme than you'.

His show motto was "Be at traveler,not a tourist".   How he is he not one of those oh-so-dreaded, ugly "tourists"?     He never immerses himself into a culture longer than the few days it takes for him to do his shoot.   He's constantly in his little comfortable safety bubble of his camera and production crew that he's been traveling with for years   He's being led around by his native speaking guides that his production crew have set up with him before hand.    So how is he not a "tourist"?    Oh, because he wears a Ramones shirt instead of a Hawainn floral print.
 
2013-09-23 06:23:46 PM

fusillade762: TuteTibiImperes: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Anthony Bourdain sucks. He has devolved into the very sort of celebrity chef he spent so much time decrying.

Not really.  He's had choice comments for those who had very little cooking skill, never worked in the business, and then pawned themselves off as experts on TV to shill merchandise, but he doesn't do that.

He never calls himself an expert chef, routinely mentions his abilities are rather humble compared to the people he's meeting with, and brands himself as a travel and culture aficionado more than a chef anyway.  Even in his travel shows he doesn't come off as arrogant, he freely admits when he doesn't know something, or has his preconceptions shifted from new experiences.

Aside from random Travel Channel Cafepress t-shirts and the books he's written, he's not shilling products with his name on them all over the place either.

He even went so far on a recent show to point out that he's *not* a chef anymore.


Indeed. He is always very clear that even at his best he was never more than an average chef and a disappointment to his school; that at his worst he was a drug addict selling his possessions on the sidewalk; and that all things considered, life has dealt him a pretty good hand.

But you'll never convince Contrabulous. He hates Neil deGrasse Tyson, ffs. He's like the Life cereal kid of celebrity professionals.

The important thing is that he's found a way to feel superior to all of us.
 
2013-09-23 06:29:24 PM

Dr.Zom: People actually hate Bourdain? Jesus fark you losers, get a life.


!!!
 
2013-09-23 06:37:28 PM
Gay men don't like women.
 
2013-09-23 06:39:44 PM
I mean she's OK and everything but those fun bags have got to be to her knees with no support.  just not my type.

/sharp knees etc.
//fap  anyway....
 
2013-09-23 06:39:46 PM
When CNN dumps him he'll be begging Sandra Lee for a job.
 
2013-09-23 06:45:45 PM

fusillade762: Came here to say this. Bourdain doesn't dare cheat.


You are kidding.

Bourdain has 100lbs and is a foot taller.

she would come at him and he would put his hand on her head and she would be swinging away like a farking three stooges movie
 
2013-09-23 06:46:12 PM

uncleacid: When CNN dumps him he'll be begging Sandra Lee for a job.


no, he'll probably write some more books and laugh all the way to the bank.
 
2013-09-23 06:50:22 PM

doublesecretprobation: uncleacid: When CNN dumps him he'll be begging Sandra Lee for a job.

no, he'll probably write some more books and laugh all the way to the bank.


Ya this. Anthony Bourdain has nothing to worry about financially for the rest of his life.
 
2013-09-23 06:50:25 PM

InmanRoshi: TuteTibiImperes: I've never gotten the impression that he's doing it to rub it in the audience's face though, or saying 'I'm more extreme than you'.

His show motto was "Be at traveler,not a tourist".   How he is he not one of those oh-so-dreaded, ugly "tourists"?     He never immerses himself into a culture longer than the few days it takes for him to do his shoot.   He's constantly in his little comfortable safety bubble of his camera and production crew that he's been traveling with for years   He's being led around by his native speaking guides that his production crew have set up with him before hand.    So how is he not a "tourist"?    Oh, because he wears a Ramones shirt instead of a Hawainn floral print.


I don't know how long they stay to film each episode, but many of the places Bourdain features are places that he's been himself before and already knows the lay of the land, others are a fresh look for him, so, there's a mix.

When I think 'ugly tourist' I think of the people who mock the culture or the people they're guests of, who never take a trip that isn't featured in a brochure at the hotel, who don't eat anywhere other than the hotel restaurant, tourist traps, or Western chains with outposts in the foreign country, and who care more about shopping for souvenirs than actually getting a feel for the culture and its history.  Bourdain is the antithesis of that.

I'm still not sure why you're busting on him for having guides, translators, and his production crew.  It could be interesting to see a show based on dropping a couple guys off somewhere without any support team and watching them try to figure everything out for themselves, but that isn't the show Bourdain makes, and I don't think it needs to be.

They do take risks in the productions, he's been trapped in Beirut during an Israeli-Lebanese conflict, his crew has been hassled by Congolese rebels and Libyan roaming militias, and he's gone quite far off the path numerous times in Africa and Asia.  Is some of the drama hyped up for TV?  Possibly, but it's not like they're making it all up either.
 
2013-09-23 06:53:27 PM

Arachnophobe: Oh, you're gonna enjoy this, then.


"My clam flesh is absolutely addictive."
 
2013-09-23 07:06:28 PM
Since I have the power of TotalFark for a month, I don't like Alton Brown either.
 
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