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(Huffington Post)   You play your music too loud. Does your neighbor C) chew your penis off without the benefit of a full set of teeth?   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 56
    More: Weird, Jeremie Calo, Knox County, Fei Lin, Pam  
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7673 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2013 at 10:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-22 10:00:48 PM
No mention of what kind of horrible music set this normally peaceful man off.
 
2013-09-22 10:05:17 PM
An English man with only a couple of teeth was found guilty this week of biting -- or should we saw gumming

Saw gumming?


willy

"bits and bobs"


Oh you Brits.
 
2013-09-22 10:12:06 PM
TFA is just a swarm of British cliches.
 
2013-09-22 10:16:24 PM
Well hot damn, zero to penis chomping in 12 words.
 
2013-09-22 10:18:22 PM
Wat
 
2013-09-22 10:18:53 PM
Mash n' Bangers?
 
2013-09-22 10:19:01 PM
How long would this have taken?
 
2013-09-22 10:21:03 PM
It's all fun and games until your bobs get bit, then it's a barney
 
2013-09-22 10:22:01 PM
Banjos. It is always banjos.
 
2013-09-22 10:22:17 PM
Damn.  Usually you have to pay extra for that.
 
2013-09-22 10:23:39 PM
And yet they mock the French.
 
2013-09-22 10:24:30 PM
"He also noted, '"The thought of putting a man's penis in my mouth. Well, it's not for me.""

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-22 10:24:35 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: No mention of what kind of horrible music set this normally peaceful man off.


Lesson learned: exercise caution when you rock out with your cock out.
 
2013-09-22 10:26:26 PM

Brick-House: How long would this have taken?


According to TFA, long enough for one brief bite through the poor sap's pajamas. Either the victim has the world's skimpiest dick or the other guy's few remain teeth have the ability to zip back and forth much like a hedge clipper's.
 
2013-09-22 10:27:27 PM
I know he chewed off a raw penis, but that's still more appetizing than most English cuisine.
 
2013-09-22 10:29:22 PM

GDubDub: Banjos. It is always banjos.


When I bought my banjo it came with a waiver that said my penis would probably be chewed off at some point. It's standard stuff. This guy knew what he was getting into.
 
2013-09-22 10:31:40 PM
Remember this next time you mock British dentition.
 
2013-09-22 10:33:31 PM
Was it spotted?
 
2013-09-22 10:36:14 PM
www.movieactors.com

I mean, I had mine removed surgically under general anesthesia. But to have it bitten off in a Buick...
 
2013-09-22 10:36:59 PM
Was he playing "Yackety Sax" too loud?
Because that would make this tragic penis-chewing incident hilarious!
 
2013-09-22 10:38:33 PM
This is the next step after a strongly worded letter with the Brits.

You've been warned.
 
2013-09-22 10:41:10 PM
An English man with only a couple of teeth

Redundant journalism is redundant.
 
2013-09-22 10:44:51 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-22 10:49:00 PM
That was one determined old man.

Gummed him. Gummed him good.

(If you have seen The Mighty Boosh,  I recommend reading that with the accent of the Green Cockney Geezer. You'll know the one I mean when you see him.)
 
2013-09-22 10:51:13 PM

Brainsick: It's all fun and games until your bobs get bit, then it's a barney


Barney?

Barney rubble...

Trouble!
 
2013-09-22 10:53:19 PM
Disturbing the peace results in disturbing the piece. Off-setting penalties.
 
2013-09-22 10:55:13 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: No mention of what kind of horrible music set this normally peaceful man off.


Nickleback?
 
2013-09-22 10:57:22 PM
It was the complainer, Henderson, whose penis was bitten off.  Also, the biter, Martin, is only 41.
 
2013-09-22 10:57:51 PM

freak7: No King Missile comments yet?


Gnaw.
 
2013-09-22 10:58:00 PM
Why do I read this shiat before bedtime?
 
2013-09-22 11:01:53 PM
APB: "Be on the lookout for a nearly toothless man running around Kent."
Officer Nigel: "Bloody hell. Way to narrow it down, dispatch"
 
2013-09-22 11:04:26 PM
I could go for some gummy worms right now.
 
2013-09-22 11:05:10 PM
It's been done before.

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-22 11:11:21 PM

FrancoFile: TFA is just a swarm of British cliches.


Bally Jerry...pranged his kite right in the how's yer father...hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
 
2013-09-22 11:14:32 PM
This is a fairly old trope. I seem to recall it doing the rounds last year....
 
2013-09-22 11:22:27 PM
He was charged with....disturbing the penis. Yeeeeeah.
 
2013-09-22 11:51:15 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-09-23 12:00:46 AM
Sweet baby Jaysus with a root canal!
How do things come to this?
 
2013-09-23 12:33:28 AM
I submitted this story with a better headline. Three days ago.
 
2013-09-23 12:37:30 AM
IT TOOK SEVERAL HOURS.

...too obscure?
 
2013-09-23 12:40:07 AM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: I know he chewed off a raw penis, but that's still more appetizing than most English cuisine.


There's a middle ground:
www.brandidentityguru.com
 
2013-09-23 12:43:23 AM
 
2013-09-23 12:45:23 AM

bwilson27: Was it spotted?


Well, if it wasn't before, pretty sure it is NOW, yes.
 
2013-09-23 12:49:19 AM
Boshes his dingers right proper he did, bloxy sod!
 
2013-09-23 01:00:27 AM
Unavailable for comment


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-23 01:05:52 AM

belhade: I mean, I had mine removed surgically under general anesthesia. But to have it bitten off in a Buick...


Your teeth or your penis?
 
2013-09-23 01:20:04 AM

bwilson27: Was it spotted?


Ha ha ha!

British cuisine. Is there no end to the entertainment it provides?
 
2013-09-23 01:30:44 AM
Put ya bits through the ol time sandy and boom, bob's ya uncle.

I'm biased, but would rather put up with US hicks than lower class saucy Brits.

Freshen ya drink, gov'nah?
 
2013-09-23 01:31:17 AM

broberds: FrancoFile: TFA is just a swarm of British cliches.

Bally Jerry...pranged his kite right in the how's yer father...hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.


Tally-ho! That absolutely whangs the nail over the crumpet, what? It struck me really, as being the caterpillars boots.
 
2013-09-23 02:02:09 AM
So, "wrecking ball"?
 
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