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(Salon)   Was I just being a coward? Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Hell yes   ( salon.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, zealots  
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19351 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2013 at 4:24 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-22 03:28:41 PM  
So how long until the follow-up where we find out 'Raquel' left him for 'Yasmin'?
 
2013-09-22 04:03:42 PM  
Dear Salon,

I never thought that this would happen to me, but. . .
 
2013-09-22 04:25:52 PM  
Hipster turning things down before it's cool to...
 
2013-09-22 04:26:55 PM  
this is why you don't put a ring on a bisexual. there will always be an aspect of that person that you are not equipped to satisfy, so that person will look elsewhere. cheating or resentment is practically guaranteed.
 
2013-09-22 04:28:56 PM  
Considering the number of three ways that end in an expensive divorce, or worse a stabbin'...he made the right choice.
 
2013-09-22 04:30:24 PM  
If you didn't do it then why are you bothering to write an article about it?

Booorrrring.
 
2013-09-22 04:31:19 PM  
This just in : most male fantasies wouldn't play out the way we imagine them. Plus, contrary to belief, but most men do have emotional ties and boundaries that they don't want to overshoot..
 
2013-09-22 04:31:53 PM  
Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.
 
2013-09-22 04:32:52 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: this is why you don't put a ring on a bisexual. there will always be an aspect of that person that you are not equipped to satisfy, so that person will look elsewhere. cheating or resentment is practically guaranteed.


Well no shiat. If you marry someone who is damaged psychologically then you're going to always have issues.
 
2013-09-22 04:33:10 PM  
Jesus what a sorry excuse for a man. Sack up you farking pansy...and it's not even about the three way. Have it or don't but be a man about it. And maybe have sense enough not to marry a freak when you think "experience sexualities" is dirty talk.

He'll be divorced real soon. Probably be on Fark in the near future bad mouthing his "biatch ex wife" and generally acting misogynistic.
 
2013-09-22 04:33:47 PM  

nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.


High five?
 
2013-09-22 04:34:48 PM  

Gleeman: Considering the number of three ways that end in an expensive divorce, or worse a stabbin'...he made the right choice.


Lordfortuna and I have joked about it a couple of times but ultimately I think the idea scares the hell out of both of us.
 
2013-09-22 04:35:49 PM  
"You're not goin' to do it? What do you mean, You're not goin' to do it?"
"I can't. I'm not an orgy guy."
"Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident."
"Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends. ... Naw, I'm not ready for it.
 
2013-09-22 04:36:20 PM  
I call B.S.

Not on him turning down a 3some, but on there ever being a 3some to turn down.

This is a work of fiction.
 
2013-09-22 04:36:59 PM  
Dude... come out of the closet, already.
 
2013-09-22 04:38:34 PM  

nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.



If my wife ever figures out I'm not goofing around when i ask her to do a mfm I'll let you know.
 
2013-09-22 04:38:38 PM  
"marriage" is a construct created by the church - pick one - to keep people in line.  That is all.  If you want a piece of paper to signify your commitment go ahead, I had a marriage twice and both times the woman involved thought it was best not to let me know about her other lovers.  Since my last divorce I have become more open about a lot of things and have had a few affairs.  Including a couple threesomes that were quite interesting.  Sex is just that.  Religion/rules/morality and such should be left at the door.
 
2013-09-22 04:40:56 PM  

nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.


You worried about being done first, Minute Man?
 
2013-09-22 04:40:58 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2013-09-22 04:41:03 PM  
Wouldn't have expected anything different from Salon.
 
2013-09-22 04:41:20 PM  

nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.


Yeah, this is either an old piece or has been re-written recently. That or he just lifted it from some other schmuck.
 
2013-09-22 04:42:08 PM  

people_are_chumps: "You're not goin' to do it? What do you mean, You're not goin' to do it?"
"I can't. I'm not an orgy guy."
"Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident."
"Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends. ... Naw, I'm not ready for it.


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-22 04:43:01 PM  

DrPainMD: Dude... come out of the closet, already.


No joke.
 
2013-09-22 04:43:07 PM  
As for the threesome, I can see why someone would turn it down. I've been in Poly relationships, and been the third person to married couples before. It's honestly not easy, especially if you have ANY problems what so ever with jealousy or issues in your marriage. The erotic aspect of having another person or persons involved doesn't take away the fact that you're still involving another person, physically, and sometimes emotionally.

oldwolf49: "marriage" is a construct created by the church - pick one - to keep people in line.  That is all.


Sorry, but this stopped being true when our legal system deemed civil unions secular, and created laws which grant unique benefits to couples who legally wed.
 
2013-09-22 04:43:07 PM  
George: So what happened?

Jerry: She's into it.

George: Into what?

Jerry: The menage. And not only that. She just called me and said she talked to the roommate and the roommate's into the menage too.

George: That's unbelievable.

Jerry: Oh, it's a scene man.

George: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?

Jerry: What are you talking about? I'm not goin' to do it.

George: You're not goin to do it? What do you mean, You're not goin to do it?

Jerry: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.

George: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident.

Jerry: Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends. ... Naw, I'm not ready for it.

George: If only something like that could happen to me.

Jerry: Oh, shut up you couldn't do it either.

George: I know.
 
2013-09-22 04:43:52 PM  
So first he can't do the threesome, and then he goes and writes about his wife's personal desires where all her friends can read about it. He isn't a coward, he's an egotistic idiot.
 
2013-09-22 04:45:33 PM  

Into the blue again: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.


If my wife ever figures out I'm not goofing around when i ask her to do a mfm I'll let you know.


What's your motivation? Double the pleasure for her or you want some dingaling? Or both?
 
2013-09-22 04:45:46 PM  
We need to bring back the draft.
 
2013-09-22 04:45:50 PM  
People_are_chumps


Hmmm, I guess I should have read this thread before posting.
 
2013-09-22 04:46:13 PM  
I can identify with him. I'll just leave it at that.
 
2013-09-22 04:46:41 PM  
Raquel may not be her real name but his is Stu Podasso
 
2013-09-22 04:46:50 PM  
While the Fark Sharp Knees Brigade will no doubt castigate the guy, I would say that he's being castigated for the wrong reason: he should've known better than to get involved with someone who wasn't willing to "settle" for him.  That's asking for a whole bunch of hurt.
 
2013-09-22 04:47:33 PM  

the_rhino: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.

You worried about being done first, Minute Man?


No. Like "done" done.  Do you order a pizza?
 
2013-09-22 04:48:38 PM  

Aristocles: I call B.S.

Not on him turning down a 3some, but on there ever being a 3some to turn down.

This is a work of fiction.


Yep. milquetoast OCD Bible-thumper meets bisexual nympho fetish model actress on a Harry Potter website and they get married?

Either this is his version of fantasy erotica, or the bisexual nympho actress is a 300-lb. repressed-lesbian wiccan who's with him because he's slight and feminine and the European dream girl is a diesel dyke from Stugart with bad teeth and doubtful hygiene.
 
2013-09-22 04:48:53 PM  
steeshes.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-22 04:50:21 PM  

BumpInTheNight: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.

High five?


Pyramid high five.
 
2013-09-22 04:50:55 PM  
hardinparamedic:
oldwolf49: "marriage" is a construct created by the church - pick one - to keep people in line.  That is all.

Sorry, but this stopped being true when our legal system deemed civil unions secular, and created laws which grant unique benefits to couples who legally wed.


True, it seems now marriage is more about property rights and discouraging running around on each other. I have decided though that if things ever go south (enough), I'm not remarrying. I'm not exactly pleased with the amount of bullshiat I'd have to go through to dissolve our current situation.

/recent bad times
//but also good
///slashies, just like marriage
 
2013-09-22 04:52:31 PM  

notatrollorami: Into the blue again: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.


If my wife ever figures out I'm not goofing around when i ask her to do a mfm I'll let you know.

What's your motivation? Double the pleasure for her or you want some dingaling? Or both?


My sick brain thinks double the pleasure for her is super hot. I don't know why, but it is a real turn on for me. I don't have any bi feelings whatever, I can't even do anal sex with her. Nothing about it I even remotely find pleasurable.
 
2013-09-22 04:52:56 PM  

nucal: the_rhino: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.

You worried about being done first, Minute Man?

No. Like "done" done.  Do you order a pizza?


I figured a high five and then pizza, so, yea.
 
2013-09-22 04:53:33 PM  

nucal: the_rhino: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.

You worried about being done first, Minute Man?

No. Like "done" done.  Do you order a pizza?


Nah some PS 3

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-22 04:53:59 PM  

ladyfortuna: hardinparamedic:
oldwolf49: "marriage" is a construct created by the church - pick one - to keep people in line.  That is all.

Sorry, but this stopped being true when our legal system deemed civil unions secular, and created laws which grant unique benefits to couples who legally wed.

True, it seems now marriage is more about property rights and discouraging running around on each other. I have decided though that if things ever go south (enough), I'm not remarrying. I'm not exactly pleased with the amount of bullshiat I'd have to go through to dissolve our current situation.

/recent bad times
//but also good
///slashies, just like marriage


Third time's a charm?
 
2013-09-22 04:54:33 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
Yeah, most threesome never live up to their billing.
 
2013-09-22 04:55:05 PM  

nucal: the_rhino: nucal: Thought I had read this 3 years ago.  He's still a puss.  His wife brought it up for crissakes.

Now an MFM threesome might be another issue.  Not so much the sex part.  But what do you do when you're done?  That seems like it could be really awkward.

You worried about being done first, Minute Man?

No. Like "done" done.  Do you order a pizza?


You could do that, presumably, but what if you and the girl have this thing where you like to split the pizza toppings, and the guy does too? Then you have to specify that they need to dress it up in thirds, and cut the thing into 6 or 12 slices -- probably 12, since you'll be hungry after all that sex -- and maybe that'll be fine, but if they're not used to cutting it that way or dressing it that way, then you know you're going to get some issues with pizza toppings scattered over the wrong portion, not to mention the fact that a new partner means there's a greater chance somebody's got a gluten problem, and then...

/ sorry
// it's been a while
 
2013-09-22 04:55:16 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: this is why you don't put a ring on a bisexual. there will always be an aspect of that person that you are not equipped to satisfy, so that person will look elsewhere. cheating or resentment is practically guaranteed.


I'd say it really depends on the couple.  This guy admits that he's very uptight, conservative, and uncomfortable with sexuality.  I can see why a threesome would be scary to him.  It also makes it a bit odd that he's with a woman who has a much more powerful sex drive and who is much more open sexually.  Typically mismatches like that, just like huge mismatches in intelligence, compassion, fiscal responsibility, etc, don't lend themselves to strong long term relationships.

She's obviously looking to expand their horizons in the bedroom to help meet her own needs, but he isn't giving any way.

I'm not sure if I would consider it cheating if I were dating a bisexual woman and she had sexual relations with other women, as long as she was open about it and it was all about sex, not emotional intimacy, and as long as they were an occasional dalliance, and I was still her primary partner in the bedroom.

Of course, I've never been in that situation, so the conclusion I come to thinking about it logically might not be the same as the one I come to with actual feelings involved.
 
2013-09-22 04:57:49 PM  
You Farkers, always with the finger pointing judgment.
Give the guy a break-you like what you like, and he's just not feeling it.

He's a thing to be pitied for his utter failure as a man, not scorned for his total and absolute rejection of the gifts that Fate herself has dropped in his limp lap.

You big jerks.

Like any of you guys would actually go through with joining your hot wife in ravishing the sexy new European girl.
 
2013-09-22 04:58:26 PM  

Aristocles: I call B.S.

Not on him turning down a 3some, but on there ever being a 3some to turn down.

This is a work of fiction.


Pretty much this.
 
2013-09-22 04:59:54 PM  
Threesome doesn't live up to the hype. Really difficult to try and pay attention to and please two women at the same time. Probably would be easier if you just don't care if they are having a good time.
 
2013-09-22 05:01:19 PM  

oldwolf49: "marriage" is a construct created by the church - pick one - to keep people in line.  That is all.  If you want a piece of paper to signify your commitment go ahead, I had a marriage twice and both times the woman involved thought it was best not to let me know about her other lovers.  Since my last divorce I have become more open about a lot of things and have had a few affairs.  Including a couple threesomes that were quite interesting.  Sex is just that.  Religion/rules/morality and such should be left at the door.


REVALUATION OF ALL VALUES!!!

/amirite?
 
2013-09-22 05:03:41 PM  
Having been in mfm ffmm mmm and mff threesomes... all drunk and more or less by accident... as someone with pretty bad anxiety and who is pretty non-sexual... lack of jealousy definitely helps.

Being confident in your own skills as a lover is the first step to enjoying a 3+some experience. You don't have to have confidence in your body or parts if people are inviting you into bed.

Drinks in the morning after all-night sex always help with awkwardsness.
 
2013-09-22 05:03:43 PM  

Pumpernickel bread: Threesome doesn't live up to the hype. Really difficult to try and pay attention to and please two women at the same time. Probably would be easier if you just don't care if they are having a good time.


So which corner do you sit in? or do you hide in the closet?
 
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