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(UPI)   History of U.S. space program   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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5791 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2004 at 6:27 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

43 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-01-15 05:59:06 PM

/history with a Tom Hanks kind of spin on it
2004-01-15 06:15:39 PM  
That is a very thin history of the space program
2004-01-15 06:29:14 PM  
"A good way to distract Americans. Also, a good way to get defense contractors and aerospace companies more money when they need it."
2004-01-15 06:30:07 PM  
Just remember, it all started when they stoned Gallileo.
2004-01-15 06:31:41 PM  
Not much history here folks, move along.
2004-01-15 06:33:57 PM  
NASA: 30 years of repeating 5th grade science experiments in space in order to impress 3rd graders.
2004-01-15 06:34:19 PM  
this new space renaissance is the coolest thing bush has done.

i'm still not voting for him though.
2004-01-15 06:34:37 PM  
mrneutron: looooool. no but seriously. that was funny. i hate people that LOL. no, not people that laugh out loud. people that "LOL".
2004-01-15 06:35:14 PM  
I hated listening to George W. Bush talk about the space program. It was sort of like someone was pushing shiat through a sock, if that made a sound.
2004-01-15 06:39:24 PM  
Wernher von Braun -- Tom Lehrer

And what is it that put America in the forefront of the nuclear nations?
And what is it that will make it possible to spend 20 billion dollars of your money to put some clown on the moon?
Well, it was good old American know-how, that's what.
As provided by good old Americans like Dr. Wernher von Braun.

Gather round while I sing you of Wernher von Braun
A man whose allegiance
Is ruled by expedience
Call him a Nazi, he won't even frown
"Ha, Nazi schmazi," says Wernher von Braun

Don't say that he's hypocritical
Say rather that he's apolitical
"Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down
That's not my department," says Wernher von Braun

Some have harsh words for this man of renown
But some think our attitude
Should be one of gratitude
Like the widows and cripples in old London town
Who owe their large pensions to Wernher von Braun

You too may be a big hero
Once you've learned to count backwards to zero
"In German oder English I know how to count down
Und I'm learning Chinese," says Wernher von Braun
2004-01-15 06:40:16 PM  
NASA: Here's some money for your uh "campaign fund", please promote our space program.

Bush: Space = great!

NASA: To the Mars!

Astronaut: Houston, we've landed, and we can't get up.

Public: Nuts.
2004-01-15 06:44:53 PM  
wHy d0 TeH NaASA PePuLL wAnNT to g0 2 tEH M00N?!?
2004-01-15 06:48:49 PM  
To Mars go! To Mars go!

/So check-off that one.
2004-01-15 06:52:41 PM  
As usual they forgot Goddard.
2004-01-15 06:53:26 PM  
My wife's cousin was "Flight"
2004-01-15 06:59:54 PM  
That was an awful and oversimplified synopsis of the US space program. For instance- the shuttle, during the Nixon era, was on the verge of cancellation. But NASA convinced the Air Force to buy into the program- and the shuttle program was "saved". The Air Force then came in with a laundry list of requirements (including the never-used west coast launch facility at Vandenberg AFB)- which blew NASA's original designs and budgets for the shuttle. We ended up with an expensive shuttle with an excruciatingly slow turnaround time.

This isn't to say the military nor NASA designed the shuttle wrong- it was just that the shuttle was a solution to a question nobody asked.

just my little contribution to Farkistan. (and simplified as well- didn't even get into the whole space station part of the initial shuttle development)
2004-01-15 07:04:21 PM  
According to the French documentarian Mel'ie, all we need to reach the moon is a suspiciously 2D, large cannon with a space capsule for a bullet. We must prepare our umbrellas and canes to beat back the moon men, and once we are done, all we have to do is just huck the damn thing off the edge of the moon and we come back.

To reach Mars we need a bigger cannon. No problem.

/decided to write it because I could
2004-01-15 07:07:03 PM  
Space Man, you're partially right about the shuttle. NASA didn't convince the Air Force to buy in to the shuttle. Nixon FORCED them to. NASA and the USAF had seperate plans for seperate reusable winged vehicles, and Nixon said that they had to cooperate on a single vehicle or else neither would get shiat.
2004-01-15 07:08:09 PM  
2004-01-15 06:29:14 PM anathama
A good way to distract Americans. Also, a good way to get defense contractors and aerospace companies more money when they need it."

I like the destraction and it puts food in my kids mouth.
So quit your BIATCHIN.
2004-01-15 07:09:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
50 years and we still have not reverse engineered this thing?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-01-15 07:12:41 PM  
Is the UPI news source logo new, or just underused?
2004-01-15 07:19:59 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

hmm...the article doesn't mention anything about the reverse engineering of the captured craft at Roswell...I call shenanigans...
2004-01-15 07:24:53 PM  
NASA: Here's some money for your uh "campaign fund", please promote our space program. - nytmare

NASA can't contribute to anyone's campaign fund.

Not that there aren't ulterior motives here, but NASA itself isn't behind them.
2004-01-15 08:00:03 PM  
Man, I am all for getting off this rock, away from all the losers.
2004-01-15 08:13:26 PM  
The history of the US space program could be summed up with a photo of a flushing toilet with a bunch of cash in it.
2004-01-15 08:20:24 PM  


The only way we are getting to mars is by a private effort. Either some ultra rich nut brain puts up the 10 B$, are you interested Billy Gates?, or someone figures out how to make money there.

NASA couldn't get there with less than a trillion dollars, and 20 years.
2004-01-15 08:21:45 PM  
"The history of the US space program could be summed up with a photo of a flushing toilet with a bunch of cash in it."

or maybe a photo of some uneducated farker typing "What did the space program ever do for me? FAP FAP FAP FAP"
2004-01-15 08:31:12 PM  
NASA: a way to keep a bunch of overeducated americans gainfully employed while producing very little of value...besides unbreakable condoms and memory foam.

Indeed, all the imagery of the space program could have been faked for far less money, and with probably the same result. And the quality would look far better to boot.
2004-01-15 08:37:30 PM  
Everyone that works at NASA (janitors included) is smarter than every farker who has posted in this thread. Sorry, I'll take their word over yours. Every time.
2004-01-15 08:40:02 PM  

How would a pic of an uneducated farker sum up the history of the US space program? You're not making sense.

But I guess if earning an MBA left me uneducated, you may just be speaking over my head.
2004-01-15 08:44:27 PM  
I think until we've another significant motivational tool like the Cold War was in the Sixties, the space program will never achieve the glory or success it once had. Just my .02.
2004-01-15 09:03:42 PM  
Courtesy of NASA: the human powered centrifuge.

[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-15 09:19:07 PM  
Based on the managers I have had an MBA does seam to make the holders significantly less intelligent. But then I have only worked for NASA contractors maybe it is different in the "real world".
The "best and brightest left NASA a long long time ago to go make some real money. The only ones left are old men waiting to retire, bureaucrats, political rats and a few dedicated men and women who are willing to ride any thing into space that has 1/2 a chance of getting them home. OK there may be a few very smart scientists that are trying to do their best to push the envelope and expand human knowledge but they are way too few and far between.
2004-01-15 09:49:12 PM  
"How would a pic of an uneducated farker sum up the history of the US space program? You're not making sense."

Go back and read again, nice and slow if you have to.

Thanks for proving my point.
2004-01-15 11:58:25 PM  
Well, there was Liberty Bell 7, where Gus Grissom survived:

[image from too old to be available]

And Aurora 7, where Scott Carpenter survived after being lost at sea:

[image from too old to be available]

And Gemini VIII, where Neil Armstrong and Dave Scott almost died:

[image from too old to be available]

And Apollo 1, where Gus Grissom *didn't* survive. Nor did Ed White, nor Roger Chaffee:

[image from too old to be available]

And then Apollo XIII, where Lovell, Swigert, and Haise survived:

[image from too old to be available]

And then we go all the way up to Challenger, where Christa McAuliffe, Judy Resnick, Ron Mc Nair, Ellison Ozawa, Dick Scobee, and - dang can't think of the other two - didn't survive:

[image from too old to be available]

Topping it with Columbia, losing six Americans and the first Israeli astronaut:

[image from too old to be available]

But other than that, space travel is completely safe.

Oh, did I mention the Russians? They had some problems, too.
2004-01-16 12:03:31 AM  
Bush announces we are going to put a man on the moon!
Also unveils another great leap in science, the technologically advanced rear engine Corvair.
2004-01-16 01:25:20 AM  
In a very real....and legally binding sense.
2004-01-16 02:01:27 AM  
Yes, and if something isn't entirely safe or doesn't have obvious immediate monetary gains, we shouldn't even bother to try..

2004-01-16 02:28:40 AM  
I wrote my feelings in a haiku:

Space, you prodigal
muse. How much money will you
suck into the void?
2004-01-16 03:40:29 AM  
I'd rather stay here
Than expand, produce and learn
What shortsighted views?

My ideals from not me
Blindly I wander, going
Only where I've been

/Trying to start the ol' haiku thing up again
2004-01-16 09:04:52 AM  

I wouldn't brag about an MBA. You might as well praise lawyers.

I guess you missed my anecdote the other week.
2004-01-16 09:56:23 AM  
/Trying to start the ol' haiku thing up again
game on!

Not one experment
had the necessity of
zero gravity
2004-01-16 11:23:24 AM  
2004-01-15 06:29:14 PM anathama
A good way to distract Americans. Also, a good way to get defense contractors and aerospace companies more money when they need it.

Personally, I rather see these educated, hard-working people getting government money to expand our knowledge, than giving "handouts" for "programs" that merely enrich some bureaucracy, satisfy a political agenda, and solve nothing.

/flamewar in 3...2...1...
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