If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Kotaku)   If you are a weirdo, you can use your nipples to unlock your new iPhone 5S, apparently   (kotaku.com) divider line 57
    More: Weird, iPhones, nipples  
•       •       •

3716 clicks; posted to Video » on 21 Sep 2013 at 3:17 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-09-21 12:15:30 PM
That's the big upgrade that people waited in line all night for, a fingerprint scanner? People think their shiat is so important they need MI6 level security for their phone?
 
2013-09-21 12:20:39 PM

Mugato: That's the big upgrade that people waited in line all night for, a fingerprint scanner? People think their shiat is so important they need MI6 level security for their phone?


Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.
 
2013-09-21 12:22:50 PM
next up.. bonerphone
 
2013-09-21 01:00:26 PM
Are moobs required?
 
2013-09-21 01:38:18 PM
Subby sounds repressed. Look to the future
 
2013-09-21 01:55:23 PM
This tidbit of weirdness brought to you today by Japan.

me texan: next up.. bonerphone


Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring bonerphone!
 
2013-09-21 02:02:25 PM

Mugato: That's the big upgrade that people waited in line all night for, a fingerprint scanner? People think their shiat is so important they need MI6 level security for their phone?


Most people aren't  upgrading from the 5 to the 5S, so moving from a 4 to a 4S the difference is bigger.  Plus, the 5S also has a much faster processor and more powerful graphics chip, which personally seems like a bigger deal than a fingerprint scanner.  It also has an improved camera.
 
2013-09-21 02:44:03 PM

TuteTibiImperes: Mugato: That's the big upgrade that people waited in line all night for, a fingerprint scanner? People think their shiat is so important they need MI6 level security for their phone?

Most people aren't  upgrading from the 5 to the 5S, so moving from a 4 to a 4S the difference is bigger.  Plus, the 5S also has a much faster processor and more powerful graphics chip, which personally seems like a bigger deal than a fingerprint scanner.  It also has an improved camera.


I guess people don't care that they have the technology five years ahead of what they're releasing and they're just dolling it out a little at a time to sell more units. But look, new hat!
 
2013-09-21 03:36:10 PM

Mugato: TuteTibiImperes: Mugato: That's the big upgrade that people waited in line all night for, a fingerprint scanner? People think their shiat is so important they need MI6 level security for their phone?

Most people aren't  upgrading from the 5 to the 5S, so moving from a 4 to a 4S the difference is bigger.  Plus, the 5S also has a much faster processor and more powerful graphics chip, which personally seems like a bigger deal than a fingerprint scanner.  It also has an improved camera.

I guess people don't care that they have the technology five years ahead of what they're releasing and they're just dolling it out a little at a time to sell more units. But look, new hat!


You have people walking in the streets that can't walk, chew gum and text at the same time.... good luck with technology
 
2013-09-21 03:46:19 PM

Mugato: TuteTibiImperes: Mugato: That's the big upgrade that people waited in line all night for, a fingerprint scanner? People think their shiat is so important they need MI6 level security for their phone?

Most people aren't  upgrading from the 5 to the 5S, so moving from a 4 to a 4S the difference is bigger.  Plus, the 5S also has a much faster processor and more powerful graphics chip, which personally seems like a bigger deal than a fingerprint scanner.  It also has an improved camera.

I guess people don't care that they have the technology five years ahead of what they're releasing and they're just dolling it out a little at a time to sell more units. But look, new hat!


There's so much competition in the mobile segment that I highly doubt Apple is doing any significant amount of sandbagging when it comes to new features and performance.  Sure, there are more powerful processors out there than the ARM chips used in the majority of phones, but they have to strike a balance between performance and battery life.

Apple could have put in a finger print reader before this, but they wanted to wait until the technology was mature enough (and I'm sure affordable enough) to make sure that it provided a positive experience for owners and didn't hurt the bottom line.  The same goes for LTE, other companies got there first, but the first LTE chips sucked up battery life incredibly quickly, Apple waited until low power chips were available before they integrated it.
 
2013-09-21 03:46:57 PM
The glans of the penis also has a unique print. Just sayin'.

/penis phone
 
2013-09-21 03:49:45 PM
"Nip it!"
i1.ytimg.com

 
2013-09-21 04:02:14 PM

TuteTibiImperes: Apple could have put in a finger print reader before this, but they wanted to wait until the technology was mature enough (and I'm sure affordable enough) to make sure that it provided a positive experience for owners and didn't hurt the bottom line.  The same goes for LTE, other companies got there first, but the first LTE chips sucked up battery life incredibly quickly, Apple waited until low power chips were available before they integrated it.


Yeah right, they don't sit on technology so they can release it a little at a time. They've been doing that ever since they came out with the first PC.
 
2013-09-21 04:05:53 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: The glans of the penis also has a unique print. Just sayin'.

/penis phone


That's not true...mine's a perfect match to this other guy I...um...nevermind.
 
2013-09-21 04:13:35 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: The glans of the penis also has a unique print. Just sayin'.


I'll be right back. I just have to go frantically wipe down my neighbor's windowsill, the watercooler at work, and the envelope dispenser at the nearby ATM for no reason.
 
2013-09-21 04:56:48 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.


Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?
 
2013-09-21 04:59:07 PM

Cagey B: ecmoRandomNumbers: The glans of the penis also has a unique print. Just sayin'.

I'll be right back. I just have to go frantically wipe down my neighbor's windowsill, the watercooler at work, and the envelope dispenser at the nearby ATM for no reason.


I loled and just about choked on a cheez-it, and it's all your fault.
 
2013-09-21 05:03:41 PM

freak7: cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.

Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?


Do you have email on your phone?  Then congrats!  If you're not locking it, anyone can easily get into any online account you have, except maybe your bank, with about 2 minutes with your phone.  You should really be locking it if you care.  Either way, it's good policy for people to be locking their smartphones, so I'm not sure why you're discouraging that.
 
2013-09-21 05:09:50 PM

freak7: cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.

Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?


This.

People like to think they're more important than they really are. If your friends are snooping around your phone, get new friends. If your phone gets lost or stolen, call the phone company and have them shut it down until you get another one.

People will sit there texting back and forth with their thumbs pressing away at buttons in a blur, but typing in four digits to unlock your phone is to much hassle?
 
2013-09-21 05:19:25 PM

freak7: cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.

Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?


I'm sorry that nobody deems you cool enough to send naked pictures to.

 

ReapTheChaos: freak7: cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.

Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?

This.

People like to think they're more important than they really are. If your friends are snooping around your phone, get new friends. If your phone gets lost or stolen, call the phone company and have them shut it down until you get another one.

People will sit there texting back and forth with their thumbs pressing away at buttons in a blur, but typing in four digits to unlock your phone is to much hassle?


And you too.
 
2013-09-21 05:26:13 PM
Yeah. As a teacher, I use the iPhone for attendance, grading, running the smart board, online government data for every student, and managing a class of several internet courses. I lose that, the data had better be secured. Take attendance, busses are late, take attendance again, enter homework grade for 34-39 students per class. I think the fingerprint recognition will suit me just fine. Thank you Apple.
 
2013-09-21 05:44:22 PM

Abner Doon: Do you have email on your phone?  Then congrats!  If you're not locking it, anyone can easily get into any online account you have, except maybe your bank, with about 2 minutes with your phone.  You should really be locking it if you care.  Either way, it's good policy for people to be locking their smartphones, so I'm not sure why you're discouraging that.


So basically lock your phone if you're paranoid of the boogeyman, got it.
 
2013-09-21 05:47:18 PM

freak7: Abner Doon: Do you have email on your phone?  Then congrats!  If you're not locking it, anyone can easily get into any online account you have, except maybe your bank, with about 2 minutes with your phone.  You should really be locking it if you care.  Either way, it's good policy for people to be locking their smartphones, so I'm not sure why you're discouraging that.

So basically lock your phone if you're paranoid of the boogeyman, got it.


I see that you have also never had your phone stolen. Obviously everyone has had the same experience with their phone as you, so why would an option that you see no need for exist?
 
2013-09-21 05:53:09 PM
cameroncrazy1984:
I see that you have also never had your phone stolen. Obviously everyone has had the same experience with their phone as you, so why would an option that you see no need for exist?

These guys probably wonder what those weird things are on their front doors, that everyone calls 'keyholes'.  After all, only people paranoid of the boogeyman would want to control who does or does not get into their house, right?
 
2013-09-21 05:53:35 PM

cameroncrazy1984: I see that you have also never had your phone stolen.


I haven't had my phone stolen, I guess I'm just more careful with my things than a lot of people. If I did lose my phone, I have a program on it to wipe the data.
 
2013-09-21 06:58:49 PM

freak7: cameroncrazy1984: I see that you have also never had your phone stolen.

I haven't had my phone stolen, I guess I'm just more careful with my things than a lot of people. If I did lose my phone, I have a program on it to wipe the data.


Why would you need that? Jeez, sounds like someone's paranoid of the boogeyman

/same idea
 
2013-09-21 07:00:12 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Why would you need that? Jeez, sounds like someone's paranoid of the boogeyman

/same idea


Not even close. I've never had to wipe my phone, whereas you've had to unlock your phone every time you use it. As much as I'm on and off my phone, there's no way I'm entering a password every time I want to use it.
 
2013-09-21 07:02:54 PM
I just bought another extended battery for my Thunderbolt for $7.  Love all the tech people throw away.  Everything is so cheap!
 
2013-09-21 07:13:59 PM

divx88: I just bought another extended battery for my Thunderbolt for $7.  Love all the tech people throw away.  Everything is so cheap!


Holy shiat, still rocking the Thunderbolt? Have they finally fixed the problem with the 4G dropping?
 
2013-09-21 07:18:32 PM
Wait until the next iteration of the iPhone, the EyePhone, where you have to actually have your iris scanned to get into your phone so only you can gain access to your cat pictures. You won't even have to take off your glasses with no lenses in them.
 
2013-09-21 07:18:48 PM

freak7: I've never had to wipe my phone, whereas you've had to unlock your phone every time you use it.


And now I don't have to. Why are we still talking about this?
 
2013-09-21 07:20:05 PM

cameroncrazy1984: And now I don't have to. Why are we still talking about this?


I agree, lets talk about you dropping a couple bills for a minor upgrade.
 
2013-09-21 07:23:01 PM

freak7: cameroncrazy1984: And now I don't have to. Why are we still talking about this?

I agree, lets talk about you dropping a couple bills for a minor upgrade.


Minor upgrade? I went from a 3 year old phone that stopped being updated by Android at 2.3. How is that minor?

Oh wait, you assumed that since I like the iPhone that I get a new one every year? Looks like you just made an ass out of yourself didn't you.
 
2013-09-21 07:24:51 PM

cameroncrazy1984: I went from a 3 year old phone that stopped being updated by Android at 2.3.


Android to Apple, now I know there's something wrong with you.
 
2013-09-21 07:25:08 PM

freak7: divx88: I just bought another extended battery for my Thunderbolt for $7.  Love all the tech people throw away.  Everything is so cheap!

Holy shiat, still rocking the Thunderbolt? Have they finally fixed the problem with the 4G dropping?


Have no idea.  I rooted and been running liquid thunderbread on it since I got it.  Never had a problem losing 4G.  It's an amazing voip & mobile hotspot.  I average about 10mbps usually and with a Verizon grandfathered unlimited data plan it's pretty killer. :)

... I average about 20-50GB a month :D
 
2013-09-21 07:26:23 PM

freak7: cameroncrazy1984: I went from a 3 year old phone that stopped being updated by Android at 2.3.

Android to Apple, now I know there's something wrong with you.


Aww, stop liking what I don't like?

Boo frigging hoo.
 
2013-09-21 07:28:16 PM

divx88: It's an amazing voip & mobile hotspot.  I average about 10mbps usually and with a Verizon grandfathered unlimited data plan it's pretty killer. :)


That's it? On Verizon I average 15-18mbps. Perks of living right next to a cell tower.
 
2013-09-21 08:16:36 PM

rik_everglade: I use the iPhone for attendance, grading, running the smart board, online government data for every student


I'm shocked that your school district allows you to place confidential private information about your students on your personal mobile device. That sort of thing is illegal where I grew up and went to school.
 
2013-09-21 08:52:19 PM
iPhone 5s:

img.hsmagazine.net
 
2013-09-21 10:05:56 PM
If I did lose my phone, I have a program on it to wipe the data.

Um.

Aaaaaaaaaaaall right, how does that work, wiping your phone data when you have lost your phone and therefore do not possess it since it is lost.
 
2013-09-21 10:08:19 PM

Kittypie070: Aaaaaaaaaaaall right, how does that work, wiping your phone data when you have lost your phone and therefore do not possess it since it is lost.


It's done remotely by logging into a website from any computer.
 
2013-09-21 10:14:59 PM

freak7: Kittypie070: Aaaaaaaaaaaall right, how does that work, wiping your phone data when you have lost your phone and therefore do not possess it since it is lost.

It's done remotely by logging into a website from any computer.


Oh! That's downright nifty. :3

Just curious, but might there also be a "locate" function in that website to help find the phone as well?
 
2013-09-21 10:29:59 PM
Apple is trying to grab some of the enterprise market that Blackberry is hemorrhaging.  Phones that may contain trade secrets and other sensitive company data falling into the wrong hands could lead to trouble.  Anything that makes locking the phone more convenient would be seen as a positive to IT departments looking for which new device to adopt.
 
2013-09-21 10:31:23 PM
24.media.tumblr.com

Wants one, provided the Joos don't buy them all out of stock first
 
2013-09-21 10:35:20 PM

Kittypie070: Just curious, but might there also be a "locate" function in that website to help find the phone as well?


Yep. If you have Android, I recommend Seek Droid.

Link
 
2013-09-21 10:48:58 PM
cdn.static.ovimg.com

Approves.
 
2013-09-21 11:11:39 PM

Mugato: TuteTibiImperes: Apple could have put in a finger print reader before this, but they wanted to wait until the technology was mature enough (and I'm sure affordable enough) to make sure that it provided a positive experience for owners and didn't hurt the bottom line.  The same goes for LTE, other companies got there first, but the first LTE chips sucked up battery life incredibly quickly, Apple waited until low power chips were available before they integrated it.

Yeah right, they don't sit on technology so they can release it a little at a time. They've been doing that ever since they came out with the first PC.




fark you dude. What do you think MP3s are all about?
 
2013-09-21 11:57:35 PM

freak7: Kittypie070: Just curious, but might there also be a "locate" function in that website to help find the phone as well?

Yep. If you have Android, I recommend Seek Droid.

Link


Mwelp, I don't have one. Thanks anyhow :3
 
2013-09-22 01:18:48 AM

Abner Doon: freak7: cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.

Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?

Do you have email on your phone?  Then congrats!  If you're not locking it, anyone can easily get into any online account you have, except maybe your bank, with about 2 minutes with your phone.  You should really be locking it if you care.  Either way, it's good policy for people to be locking their smartphones, so I'm not sure why you're discouraging that.


How the hell are they supposed to do that? Unless you have your settings so that your phone stays logged in to all your accounts then I can't possibly see how that could ever happen. Even on my home computer, which I'm the only person who ever uses it, I have to type my password into every online account I have in the extremely off chance that it gets stolen. So I fail to see why someone would be dumb enough to do that with a phone that has a much higher risk of getting lost or stolen.
 
2013-09-22 01:34:39 AM

ReapTheChaos: Abner Doon: freak7: cameroncrazy1984: Me, I just like not having to enter a passcode every time I unlock my phone. The sh*t works.

Why do you lock your phone, are you carrying top secret CIA documents?

Do you have email on your phone?  Then congrats!  If you're not locking it, anyone can easily get into any online account you have, except maybe your bank, with about 2 minutes with your phone.  You should really be locking it if you care.  Either way, it's good policy for people to be locking their smartphones, so I'm not sure why you're discouraging that.

How the hell are they supposed to do that? Unless you have your settings so that your phone stays logged in to all your accounts then I can't possibly see how that could ever happen. Even on my home computer, which I'm the only person who ever uses it, I have to type my password into every online account I have in the extremely off chance that it gets stolen. So I fail to see why someone would be dumb enough to do that with a phone that has a much higher risk of getting lost or stolen.


So would you rather have to put in your password for every e-mail account, website, etc, individually on your phone, or lock it with a single master password or fingerprint?
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report