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(Cracked)   If you have or had a unique job or life, we would like to hear about it   (cracked.com) divider line 27
    More: Interesting, strippers, Vin Diesel  
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634 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 21 Sep 2013 at 2:13 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-21 11:30:11 AM
Mine would be in three parts.
Homeless and sober.
Security guard and cb hobbyist.
Video engineer and alcoholic with mad driving skills.
 
2013-09-21 11:39:01 AM
I used to work at the zoo...circumcising the elephants.....not much salary but some mighty big tips.......
 
2013-09-21 11:56:01 AM
after that I got a job at the food processing plant.....but I got in trouble for sticking my finger in the pickle slicer....they was real upset.....fired me and her both...
 
2013-09-21 12:00:33 PM
I thought my life was unique until very recently, when I discovered my next door neighbor was copying literally everything I did.

I had to draw the line at farking my wife.
 
2013-09-21 01:52:04 PM
I was a flight attendant on the Cartesian plane, but the job left me feeling flat.  Later I was a 1000m bar tender at sea level, but I couldn't stand the pressure.
 
2013-09-21 02:01:28 PM
If part of what they're trying to do is dispel myths and misconceptions, here's one for you: Not all IT people are overweight, socially inept weirdos who spend their off hours in a dark room playing WoW.  As a matter of fact, that's the exception, even IT folks like to be able to interact with the people we work with.
 
2013-09-21 02:32:34 PM
Well, I entered the contest.  We'll see if my stories are interesting enough.
 
2013-09-21 02:44:19 PM

MNguy: Well, I entered the contest.  We'll see if my stories are interesting enough.


So far you sound like a very interesting commentator. Have anymore stories to tell?
 
2013-09-21 03:13:14 PM

timujin: If part of what they're trying to do is dispel myths and misconceptions, here's one for you: Not all IT people are overweight, socially inept weirdos who spend their off hours in a dark room playing WoW.  As a matter of fact, that's the exception, even IT folks like to be able to interact with the people we work with.


STFU and get me a Hot Pocket
 
2013-09-21 03:55:43 PM
I once subtitled porn movies.
No, really!
 
2013-09-21 03:59:07 PM

tjassen: I once subtitled porn movies.
No, really!


Reading should not be in porn.
 
2013-09-21 04:05:01 PM
jjwars1:

So far you sound like a very interesting commentator. Have anymore stories to tell?

Are you willing to pay me to tell them to you?

/everyone thinks that their story is the most interesting one in the world, read the Cracked thread
 
2013-09-21 04:40:42 PM
Bassoonist
Blacksmith

"Jaytkay, Bassoonist/Blacksmith!!" should be good enough for network TV.
 
2013-09-21 05:19:19 PM
I have no life.
 
2013-09-21 05:34:06 PM
i was once in charge of quality control/inspection for a drug and vitamin manufacturing plant although i had absolutely no experience, education in or business holding that position. i also oversaw operations of warehousing for the 2nd largest branch of the 2nd largest telco in america, same deal, i had no clue WTF when i walked in the door. worked in a R&D Lab performing full analysis of test batch samples of a metalizing mix used in ceramic substrate heat sinks, same deal - no way in hell I should have held that job. being well dressed, bold and cocky at interview time often works.
 
2013-09-21 05:51:38 PM
My mom used to tell me that I'm like a snowflake, and that everything I do is special and unique.
 
2013-09-21 07:40:36 PM

tjassen: I once subtitled porn movies.
No, really!


[moaning intensifies]
 
2013-09-21 08:24:16 PM
So turd polishing the lunatic ramblings of your audience and presenting it as an article is the new listicle? Check.
 
2013-09-21 08:42:59 PM
I worked for an engineering firm that had to report on the state of a 150 year old sewer system for a town in the mountains of Maryland.  For two months we had to crawl down every manhole in town and place a flow meter, which looked kind of like a 8" barrel subwoofer, into the flow of raw sewage.  Then we had to take readings directly from them every week for a year.

The smell of shiat never leaves you.  By the time waste hits the sewer it's all mixed together so there's nothing "clumpy" - it's just a nasty, nasty effluent that seeps into your pores.  You could bathe in bleach and still not get that smell off you.
 
2013-09-21 09:41:59 PM
I did a two-week voiceover gig in Korea for a big budget movie called "Emma in Paris." Turns out it was not quite the "international romantic drama" they told us it was:

img211.imageshack.us

/Never seen the movie or been able to find it on video
//I voiced the part of the hot French mistress
///The rest of my English-speaking co-workers were also tv news reporters/anchors (for AFKN).
 
2013-09-21 10:07:32 PM

WordyGrrl: I did a two-week voiceover gig in Korea for a big budget movie called "Emma in Paris." Turns out it was not quite the "international romantic drama" they told us it was:

[img211.imageshack.us image 250x356]

/Never seen the movie or been able to find it on video
//I voiced the part of the hot French mistress
///The rest of my English-speaking co-workers were also tv news reporters/anchors (for AFKN).


I gotta ask:  how in the hell does a news anchor fall into a voiceover job for porn?
 
2013-09-21 10:28:17 PM
My life has been interesting but in a Chinese curse sort of way
 
2013-09-21 10:31:58 PM
I have had a varied and interesting life.  That's enough for me.
 
2013-09-21 11:24:54 PM
I had a job as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it.
Then I worked at the blanket factory, but it folded.
 
2013-09-22 12:38:19 AM

Lsherm: WordyGrrl: I did a two-week voiceover gig in Korea for a big budget movie called "Emma in Paris." Turns out it was not quite the "international romantic drama" they told us it was:

[img211.imageshack.us image 250x356]

/Never seen the movie or been able to find it on video
//I voiced the part of the hot French mistress
///The rest of my English-speaking co-workers were also tv news reporters/anchors (for AFKN).

I gotta ask:  how in the hell does a news anchor fall into a voiceover job for porn?


As professional speakers of English in Korea, we had tons of companies and individuals contacting us to do voicework for English lessons. With proper networking and so on, you can get all kinds of different voicework gigs. Never got rich, but it did provide plenty of spending money.

We had no effing idea it was softcore porn because we never saw the whole thing, just the scenes they needed us for -- which were sometimes a little sexy but not porny. They herded us into a big room, gave us scripts, put mics in front of us and we read our lines as in synch as possible with the work print they had rolling. We had to adlib nearly all of it because the English translation didn't match the moving lips. I still  have the marked up script somewhere, mostly because nobody will believe me without proof.
 
2013-09-22 04:28:59 AM

Hector Remarkable: I had a job as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it.
Then I worked at the blanket factory, but it folded.


I worked at a lightbulb factory until it went out.
Then I got a job at the shipyard, building a submarine.  They went under.
Tried to work as a doorknob installer, but I just couldn't handle.
Had a job at the Coca-Cola company once. Got canned.

/the last one's actually true
//longest job-related pun I've ever heard is still Utah Phillips explaining that he worked as an electrician for the Indian tribes, and got stuck with installing lights in the bathrooms
///making him the first person to wire a head for a reservation...
 
2013-09-22 04:50:34 AM
I used to have all of the above jobs, so I'm really getting a kick out of this thread.
 
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