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(Digital Spy)   Ten movie endings you never got to see in theaters--and for good reason   (digitalspy.com) divider line 63
    More: Interesting, Titanic, humans, Donnie Darko, column inches, Bill Paxton, Jason Bourne, T-800, staging  
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11398 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Sep 2013 at 8:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-20 08:44:55 PM  
I like the alternate ending to Army of Darkness better than the original, though it would've made the lack of a sequel much more annoying than it currently is.
 
2013-09-20 08:52:20 PM  
The "alternate" I Am Legend ending is much better than the Will Smith Jesus shiat that finished the theatrical release.
 
2013-09-20 08:54:40 PM  
I Am Legend (2007)
The ending you know: Neville sacrifices himself after sending off Anna and Ethan with a vial of blood that could may hold a cure.
The one you didn't: Neville never invents a vaccine, is killed off by the "Intelligent vampires" because Neville's killing of vampires is legend.

And I liked the alternate ending of Clerks as much as the original. I mean, really, Dante shouldn't have been there that day.
 
2013-09-20 08:56:58 PM  

sotua: The "alternate" I Am Legend ending is much better than the Will Smith Jesus shiat that finished the theatrical release.


Big fail on the article for not giving us the alternative ending.

Here it is.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-20 08:57:03 PM  
Honorable mention to the "love conquers all" edit of Brazil, which doesn't technically fit the category of endings that were dropped before release.
 
2013-09-20 08:57:11 PM  

skinink: And I liked the alternate ending of Clerks as much as the original. I mean, really, Dante shouldn't have been there that day.



I like the idea of the Clerks alternate ending, but I don't think it was pulled off very well.
 
2013-09-20 08:57:52 PM  

FeedTheCollapse: I like the alternate ending to Army of Darkness better than the original, though it would've made the lack of a sequel much more annoying than it currently is.


Crap, I meant to quote this post... heh.

So again, the link, just to make things even more confusing,
 
2013-09-20 08:58:34 PM  

skinink: I Am Legend (2007)
The ending you know: Neville sacrifices himself after sending off Anna and Ethan with a vial of blood that could may hold a cure.
The one you didn't: Neville never invents a vaccine, is killed off by the "Intelligent vampires" because Neville's killing of vampires is legend.

And I liked the alternate ending of Clerks as much as the original. I mean, really, Dante shouldn't have been there that day.


I don't think the alternate ending worked at all.  It was like Kevin Smith was telling the viewer: "So you liked that little comedy you just watched?  Fark you!  Be sad now!"
 
2013-09-20 09:04:33 PM  
The alternate ending for Butterfly Effect was lot truer to the storyline, and a little more brutal.
 
2013-09-20 09:09:20 PM  

NeoCortex42: skinink: I Am Legend (2007)
The ending you know: Neville sacrifices himself after sending off Anna and Ethan with a vial of blood that could may hold a cure.
The one you didn't: Neville never invents a vaccine, is killed off by the "Intelligent vampires" because Neville's killing of vampires is legend.

And I liked the alternate ending of Clerks as much as the original. I mean, really, Dante shouldn't have been there that day.

I don't think the alternate ending worked at all.  It was like Kevin Smith was telling the viewer: "So you liked that little comedy you just watched?  Fark you!  Be sad now!"


I kind of liked that someone essentially responded to Dante's death by stealing a pack of cigarettes, though I think it would've worked better had that scene not been placed post-credits.
 
2013-09-20 09:10:41 PM  
Nothing about the original Dodgeball ending, where Average Joe's loses to Globo-Gym and then the movie just ends? Now that's a true underdog story.
 
2013-09-20 09:15:28 PM  
List is missing American Beauty.

Lester Burnham achieves inner peace in the moments before his death. Good for him, except his daughter is successfully framed by Col Fitts for his murder and goes off to prison.

But Lester is content in his afterlife and that's what counts, right?
 
2013-09-20 09:22:23 PM  

sotua: The "alternate" I Am Legend ending is much better than the Will Smith Jesus shiat that finished the theatrical release.


The entire novel got thrown out the farking window to make Will Smith and/or the toddlers at the studio happy, so any ending of that movie pretty much sucks equally.

/Will Smith is apparently a very nice guy. Still can't act his way out of a wet paper bag though.
 
2013-09-20 09:23:00 PM  

WippitGuud: The alternate ending for Butterfly Effect was lot truer to the storyline, and a little more brutal.


Please don't tell me you mean the one where he travels back to when he was born and strangles himself and the implication he's had multiple siblings that did the same thing. That was just out of nowhere bullshiat that destroys his character arc. The ending we got was much better, where he learns to leave well enough alone and  that his power doesn't really ever "fix" anything, but that he himself is not some sort of menace to existence like the baby strangling scene would suggest.
 
2013-09-20 09:26:00 PM  

FeedTheCollapse: I like the alternate ending to Army of Darkness better than the original, though it would've made the lack of a sequel much more annoying than it currently is.


I've always felt that the alternate ending to Army of Darkness would be the better ending...if there had been a sequel that had Ash vs the Deadites in post-apocalyptic London, which we can all agree would have been awesomeness times eleventy.

But as closure to the filmed trilogy, the theatrical ending works better.
 
2013-09-20 09:27:24 PM  
That Thelma and Louise one was weird. Really weird. They made the right call on killing that one for sure.
 
2013-09-20 09:27:29 PM  
Either ending of Titanic is retarded. Why would she keep the diamond on her all her life, make those poor treasure hunters listen to her cliched, contrived story and then throw the diamond off the boat? WTF? Farking biatch.
 
2013-09-20 09:31:24 PM  

cptjeff: That Thelma and Louise one was weird. Really weird. They made the right call on killing that one for sure.


Please tell me you're not under the impression that they survived the jump and drove off into the sunset?
 
2013-09-20 09:32:01 PM  

Sergeant Grumbles: WippitGuud: The alternate ending for Butterfly Effect was lot truer to the storyline, and a little more brutal.

Please don't tell me you mean the one where he travels back to when he was born and strangles himself and the implication he's had multiple siblings that did the same thing. That was just out of nowhere bullshiat that destroys his character arc. The ending we got was much better, where he learns to leave well enough alone and  that his power doesn't really ever "fix" anything, but that he himself is not some sort of menace to existence like the baby strangling scene would suggest.


No it wasn' and no it didn't.  The fortune teller pointed out he had no life-line and his mother then tells him about her miscarriages.  His conversation with his father drives home the point that constantly changing the past will never work because it "destroys who the person is".  Evan realizes that he is the primary cause and solves the problem the only way that will truly fail to effect anyone else, by removing himself from the equation all together and ending the cycle that would have continued with his own children.
 
2013-09-20 09:32:45 PM  

gunga galunga: FeedTheCollapse: I like the alternate ending to Army of Darkness better than the original, though it would've made the lack of a sequel much more annoying than it currently is.

I've always felt that the alternate ending to Army of Darkness would be the better ending...if there had been a sequel that had Ash vs the Deadites in post-apocalyptic London, which we can all agree would have been awesomeness times eleventy.

But as closure to the filmed trilogy, the theatrical ending works better.


It might work better as the ending to a trilogy, but the alternate was still the better ending. It's too bad the games that attempted to take up the slack in the sequel department to those movies sucked so bad.
 
2013-09-20 09:34:39 PM  
Anyone see the alternate ending to Watcher in the Woods where the Watcher shows up? Yeesh, that thing freaks me the fark out even today.

/on my phone so I can't easily link to a clip but there are several on YouTube.
 
2013-09-20 09:36:26 PM  

cptjeff: That Thelma and Louise one was weird. Really weird. They made the right call on killing that one for sure.


One one hand, it was kind of ghoulish to continue to show the car in free fall. But on the other hand, I like that final shot of Harvey Keitel where he kind of nods in the realization that they did what they had to do and it was the best possible outcome for them. But that final shot of "don't you see? Thelma and Louise live on!" of them driving off into the distance was just farking stupid.

Mugato: Either ending of Titanic is retarded. Why would she keep the diamond on her all her life, make those poor treasure hunters listen to her cliched, contrived story and then throw the diamond off the boat? WTF? Farking biatch.


You and I have argued Titanic on more than one occasion. And I defend that movie as best I can. But that always bugged the shiat out of me. It would have at least made sense if they had shown Kate Winslet chucking it overboard in the flashback the moment she realized she had it. But apparently, she came to the conclusion that, "I better hold onto this in case eighty years from now treasure hunters discover the drawing that Jack did of me. So then, they can invite me over, and then can I tell them what it was really like to be on the Titanic. And THAT's when I can finally get rid of this thing. Yeah, that makes perfect sense!"
 
2013-09-20 09:40:31 PM  

Mugato: Either ending of Titanic is retarded. Why would she keep the diamond on her all her life, make those poor treasure hunters listen to her cliched, contrived story and then throw the diamond off the boat? WTF? Farking biatch.


Even worse, she marries some poor schmuck who loves her all his life and helps her raise children and grandchildren, but when Rose dies who does she spend eternity with? Some dude she hooked up one time! That's a little farked up.
 
2013-09-20 09:46:28 PM  

Flappyhead: No it wasn' and no it didn't.


No u.
Seriously, though...

Flappyhead: Evan realizes that he is the primary cause and solves the problem the only way that will truly fail to effect anyone else


He realizes this in the shown ending, too, except the solution isn't killing himself, it's living life normally, without trying to go back and fix things. It imparts a sense of maturity on the part of Kutcher's character (imagine that!) that killing himself just doesn't do. If he kills himself, he's still trying to fix the past, whereas by learning not to use his power, he's moved beyond fixing things and won't succumb to the obsession of it like his father did. It's a better ending than suicide.
 
2013-09-20 09:49:37 PM  
What pissed me off the most about Titanic is the farking boat sinking. So farking cliche.
 
2013-09-20 09:52:14 PM  

gunga galunga: cptjeff: That Thelma and Louise one was weird. Really weird. They made the right call on killing that one for sure.

One one hand, it was kind of ghoulish to continue to show the car in free fall. But on the other hand, I like that final shot of Harvey Keitel where he kind of nods in the realization that they did what they had to do and it was the best possible outcome for them. But that final shot of "don't you see? Thelma and Louise live on!" of them driving off into the distance was just farking stupid.


And the music. Just bad.


freak7: cptjeff: That Thelma and Louise one was weird. Really weird. They made the right call on killing that one for sure.

Please tell me you're not under the impression that they survived the jump and drove off into the sunset?


No. It's pretty plainly meant to be metaphorical. But it's also ham handed and utterly unnecessary.
 
2013-09-20 09:54:54 PM  

cptjeff: No. It's pretty plainly meant to be metaphorical. But it's also ham handed and utterly unnecessary.


I agree, it's stupid as shiat. I only asked because I knew somebody that absolutely thought they stuck the landing and drove away.
 
2013-09-20 10:12:07 PM  

freak7: cptjeff: No. It's pretty plainly meant to be metaphorical. But it's also ham handed and utterly unnecessary.

I agree, it's stupid as shiat. I only asked because I knew somebody that absolutely thought they stuck the landing and drove away.


Hard to stick a landing when the car is pretty much upside down three-quarters of the way through the decent. There isn't a car suspension built that could handle a jump like that and not shatter the spines and pelvises of the occupants  upon impact.

The description in the article also didn't match the video very accurately, either. It said "keep watching to the end of the video" but I didn't see anything special...unless the car driving off across the desert was "it"?
 
2013-09-20 10:24:23 PM  

zappaisfrank: unless the car driving off across the desert was "it"?


That's the thing, when this alternate ending was released years ago, there were a bunch of idiots who were like "omg they lived!!!"
 
2013-09-20 10:35:33 PM  

freak7: What pissed me off the most about Titanic is the farking boat sinking. So farking cliche.


This.  That's exactly what everybody thought was going to happen.
 
2013-09-20 10:41:35 PM  

RoyHobbs22: freak7: What pissed me off the most about Titanic is the farking boat sinking. So farking cliche.

This.  That's exactly what everybody thought was going to happen.


Yeah, I liked the alternate twist ending, where the boat swerved and missed the iceberg.
 
2013-09-20 10:46:23 PM  
Call me crazy, but that alternate ending to Bourne was better thant he one they went with. Change the music and it's way more realistic.

In the one they went with, he shows up and delivers some ridiculous cheesy "pretending he's a customer" line that is not in sync with the mood of the rest of the movie. The alternate ending has way more heart and realism. He just walks up and, as someone who finally gets to be with the one they love, he just embraces her like crazy. Way better.
 
2013-09-20 11:01:20 PM  
list fails without mention of Heathers alt.ending. Boom. Then prom.
 
2013-09-20 11:31:35 PM  
the theater ending of I Am Legend was farkin awful. Will Smith shoulder tackles a vampire with a grenade yeah that's the ticket
holy shiat
 
2013-09-20 11:34:29 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Mugato: Either ending of Titanic is retarded. Why would she keep the diamond on her all her life, make those poor treasure hunters listen to her cliched, contrived story and then throw the diamond off the boat? WTF? Farking biatch.

Even worse, she marries some poor schmuck who loves her all his life and helps her raise children and grandchildren, but when Rose dies who does she spend eternity with? Some dude she hooked up one time! That's a little farked up.


Steve Schirripa wrote in one of his books (I think it was "The Goomba's Guide to Love") that Rose was a hoo-ah. She lies to try to get a rich guy, bangs someone else, and ends up with the huge diamond. Does she use it to buy a house or help with nursing home care? No! She tosses it off the deck of the ship.
 
2013-09-20 11:46:23 PM  

LesserEvil: RoyHobbs22: freak7: What pissed me off the most about Titanic is the farking boat sinking. So farking cliche.

This.  That's exactly what everybody thought was going to happen.

Yeah, I liked the alternate twist ending, where the boat swerved and missed the iceberg.


In the version I saw, the boat hit the iceberg, and the iceberg sank.
 
2013-09-21 12:09:53 AM  

robertus: LesserEvil: RoyHobbs22: freak7: What pissed me off the most about Titanic is the farking boat sinking. So farking cliche.

This.  That's exactly what everybody thought was going to happen.

Yeah, I liked the alternate twist ending, where the boat swerved and missed the iceberg.

In the version I saw, the boat hit the iceberg, and the iceberg sank.


Yeah, but Jack still dies in that ending.

I REALLY liked the alternative ending for After Earth, where the ship crashes, and that General and his whiny brat die.
 
2013-09-21 12:12:47 AM  

NotoriousW.O.P: Steve Schirripa wrote in one of his books (I think it was "The Goomba's Guide to Love") that Rose was a hoo-ah. She lies to try to get a rich guy, bangs someone else, and ends up with the huge diamond. Does she use it to buy a house or help with nursing home care? No! She tosses it off the deck of the ship.


Thats one farked up biatch.  Her frozen ex-BF made the right call to drop out before the relationship progressed.
 
2013-09-21 12:14:52 AM  
I'm a big fan of that alternate ending for Return of the Jedi.

You know, the one where Darth Vader, instead of killing the Emperor, throws George Lucas down that shaft and the prequels never get made....
 
2013-09-21 12:22:00 AM  

freak7: What pissed me off the most about Titanic is the farking boat sinking. So farking cliche.


That pissed me off too. Standard unrealistic movie bullshiat. A ship like that wouldn't ever farking sink. I almost walked out during that part because it made so little sense. No idea how it made so much money.
 
2013-09-21 01:02:33 AM  

sotua: The "alternate" I Am Legend ending is much better than the Will Smith Jesus shiat that finished the theatrical release.


And closer to the original book. The premise is that it's a horror story, you just don't realize that the human is actually the monster.

The "vampires" terrify their children with the legend of a lone creature who snatches you up while you're sleeping, the drags you back to his hair to perform bizarre medical experiments on you until you die a slow, painful death.
 
2013-09-21 01:11:23 AM  
At least subby corrected "10 movie endings you never got to see" to "10 movie endings you never got to see in theaters".
 
2013-09-21 02:14:42 AM  
I prefer the alternate Clerks ending. It's the perfect closure to "I'm not even supposed to be here today!".
 
2013-09-21 03:55:04 AM  

gunga galunga: You and I have argued Titanic on more than one occasion. And I defend that movie as best I can. But that always bugged the shiat out of me. It would have at least made sense if they had shown Kate Winslet chucking it overboard in the flashback the moment she realized she had it. But apparently, she came to the conclusion that, "I better hold onto this in case eighty years from now treasure hunters discover the drawing that Jack did of me. So then, they can invite me over, and then can I tell them what it was really like to be on the Titanic. And THAT's when I can finally get rid of this thing. Yeah, that makes perfect sense!"


I think she held onto it since it was a reminder of her time with Jack. She got rid of it in the end because 1) she was ready to let go (emotionally and physically) and 2) she wanted the symbol of her love to be at the bottom of the ocean where Jack's body was - not get auctioned off and gather dust in someone's vault. That's my take on it, anyway.
 
2013-09-21 04:00:52 AM  

Mad_Radhu: Mugato: Either ending of Titanic is retarded. Why would she keep the diamond on her all her life, make those poor treasure hunters listen to her cliched, contrived story and then throw the diamond off the boat? WTF? Farking biatch.

Even worse, she marries some poor schmuck who loves her all his life and helps her raise children and grandchildren, but when Rose dies who does she spend eternity with? Some dude she hooked up one time! That's a little farked up.


But you have to remember that Jack saved her life both figuratively (when he helped her realize the need to live for herself, not prestige or money) and literally - twice (when she tried to jump off the ship and helped her get off the sinking ship). Plus he froze to death while staying by her side. That sh*t will stay with you forever.
 
2013-09-21 04:07:41 AM  

Gig103: I prefer the alternate Clerks ending. It's the perfect closure to "I'm not even supposed to be here today!".


It also doesn't really do anythign to change Clerks 2 or the rest of the Askewniverse.
 
2013-09-21 06:07:14 AM  
Thelma and Louise should have ended with the pie fight
 
2013-09-21 06:13:06 AM  

Gig103: I prefer the alternate Clerks ending. It's the perfect closure to "I'm not even supposed to be here today!".


I agree with you in principle, but Clerks 2 wouldn't have been made then, and that would make me very sad.
 
2013-09-21 06:16:31 AM  

doglover: Gig103: I prefer the alternate Clerks ending. It's the perfect closure to "I'm not even supposed to be here today!".

It also doesn't really do anythign to change Clerks 2 or the rest of the Askewniverse.


Are you on glue? If no Dante, no reason for Donkey Show!! The plot of clerks 2 is pretty much completely centered on Dante and the choices he makes, everything else is just peripheral, even Randal, although he's the catalyst for change in Dante's life.
 
2013-09-21 06:44:22 AM  

freak7: zappaisfrank: unless the car driving off across the desert was "it"?

That's the thing, when this alternate ending was released years ago, there were a bunch of idiots who were like "omg they lived!!!"


OK, they might have, but there's no way that car would survive. For one thing, its suspension would be shot to heck.
 
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