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(Daily Star)   "Waddle you have," asked the bartender. "Your finest champagne, and put it on his bill. "   ( divider line
    More: Strange, tow  
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4977 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2013 at 6:52 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

22 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-09-20 06:55:33 PM  
Our finest champagne is Cold Duck.
2013-09-20 07:04:07 PM  
Was it a seeing eye duck?
2013-09-20 07:04:21 PM  
That's just a dwarf in a duck suit walking a human dummy.
2013-09-20 07:14:19 PM  
How do you get down off an elephant?
2013-09-20 07:15:03 PM
2013-09-20 07:15:23 PM

2013-09-20 07:16:45 PM
2013-09-20 07:25:43 PM  
Well, of course I'm a duck, Sher-*WHAM!*
2013-09-20 07:33:05 PM  
Got any grapes?
2013-09-20 07:59:41 PM  
Editors should be shot
2013-09-20 08:38:54 PM
/no, of course I didn't RTFA....
2013-09-20 08:52:37 PM  


2013-09-20 09:13:33 PM  

a particular individual: Our finest champagne is Cold Duck.

Cold Duck is my favorite sparkling wine. And thanks for reminding me: it'll go great with the lamb, chicken & sausage gumbo I'm planning for tomorrow night.

Us Lexington Farkers should have a pot luck one of these days. At this rate by next Spring I'll be a better cook than my mom and her mom put together. My specialty is one pot dishes and/or things to serve over rice: curries, stews, chili (probably no rice though, leaves room for saltines), soon gumbo, etc. The electric slow cooker is a wonderful invention, and right behind that are yard sales that sell slow cookers for $5. By the way, where in Lexington could I buy filé powder? And can you use that with gumbo or is it strictly either/or?

And Dieselpunk IPA, one of those Kroger house brands, ain't bad for the money when it's on special and it's okay with ground beef fried rice but that's the best I can say about it. Maybe I should have spent 50c more and got the Long Hammer IPA. Oh well.

Why yes I am drinking. It makes pointless off-topic self-referential blithering so much more fun.

Back to the topic: why not just get the duck a leash? And why doesn't it fly away?

When I was a kid there was a lady in Baltimore who'd walk a line of geese down 36th Street into the park; my grandma lived on Beech Avenue so I saw this a few times. She told us the geese think she's their mother and as far as she knows they don't know they're made to fly. Could it be the same with this duck? Or maybe he could be a duck on the outside but inside he's a human child: you know, a transspecial.
2013-09-20 09:40:10 PM  
Ziggy from "The Wire"? Anyone?

You're slipping, Fark.
2013-09-20 09:47:01 PM  
Awwwwww, it's a Swedish Blue breed of duck. Daffy is a Swedish black duck, btw. You breed Swedish black ducks with Swedish silver ducks to get Swedish blue ducks.
2013-09-20 10:11:01 PM  
Unavailable for comment...
2013-09-20 10:31:50 PM  
2013-09-20 10:51:36 PM  
2013-09-20 11:46:17 PM  

fungoo: Editors should be shot

Clearly somebody already did. And now nobody there knows the difference between "are" and "our."

The duck walking is adorable, though, so at least there is that.
2013-09-20 11:49:50 PM  

Dragonflew: Got any grapes?

Came here for this. Leaving satisfied.
2013-09-21 01:02:11 AM  

Big Ramifications: How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't get down off an elephant. You get down off a duck.

// had to answer my own joke
// nobody ever pays attention to me

So anyway.... A cop walks up to the guy walking the duck.

"Oy! I thought I told you yesterday to take that duck to the zoo!"

"I did," the guy replies. "And today I'm taking him to the movies."
2013-09-21 09:44:06 AM  
A duck walks into a bar, despite the warning.
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