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(KTLA Los Angeles)   Homeless lured to line up for iPhones by speculators who promised pizza & $20, since this is Fark you maybe guessed Launch Day would turn into a Bumfight (Not safe for work Language)   (ktla.com) divider line 28
    More: Followup, iPhones, Apple Stores, Pasadena Apple, Pasadena, Apple, iOS devices, Pistons, pizzas  
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1648 clicks; posted to Geek » on 20 Sep 2013 at 4:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-20 04:26:28 PM
 
2013-09-20 04:28:39 PM
Apparently, the iStore near me is requiring appointments to purchase a device in-store.

/It's a farking phone, not a sprawling estate.
//Can't you order these things online, anyway?
 
2013-09-20 04:48:02 PM

Nexzus: Apparently, the iStore near me is requiring appointments to purchase a device in-store.

//Can't you order these things online, anyway?


Not if you want the brief window to gloat and show off to your friends.
 
2013-09-20 04:53:41 PM
This lady traded a $2000 purse, so that she could move up two spots in line - and *maybe* get a new iPhone.  And she says she did it to "keep Steve Job's memory alive."

i555.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-20 04:55:08 PM
Are people actually impressed by iPhones anymore? I can see someone being happy they purchased a product that fits their needs, but the iPhone's days as a status symbol are long since over.
 
2013-09-20 04:59:27 PM
I waited in line for 8 hours to get the new iPhone (turquoise) and it never occurred to me to hire a bum.  I guess that's what I'll do for the PS4 and the Xbox One.  I'll be nicer than the article's "businessman" who was only giving them $20.  I'll give them a map which indicates local shelters and the vocational rehabilitaion center's address.  Better to teach a man to fish, right?
 
2013-09-20 05:04:40 PM
Not only does the homeless guy hold your spot for you, but his stench and mental illness will scare off the people in front of you.  Win/win!
 
2013-09-20 05:13:07 PM
It could've been worse. It seems that people lined up in front of a store to get an expensive phone might have something that others want...

http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Robbers-targ et -Houston-men-in-line-to-buy-iPhone-4829287.php
 
2013-09-20 05:36:40 PM

Nexzus: Apparently, the iStore near me is requiring appointments to purchase a device in-store.


Kraftwerk Orange: This lady traded a $2000 purse, so that she could move up two spots in line - and *maybe* get a new iPhone.  And she says she did it to "keep Steve Job's memory alive."


Seat's Taken: I waited in line for 8 hours to get the new iPhone (turquoise)


I don't understand people. Like, at all.

RTOGUY: Not if you want the brief window to gloat and show off to your friends.


What kind of people are actually impressed by that? If one of my friends waited in line for hours for a new phone, and tried to brag to me, I would laugh and laugh and laugh.  I mean, it's not like you're getting the first ticket to the moon base or anything. It's a phone.
 
2013-09-20 05:39:58 PM
But were any ultimate bum shock fights?
 
2013-09-20 05:42:44 PM
Steve Jobs approves.
 
2013-09-20 06:01:57 PM
s10.postimg.org
 
2013-09-20 06:16:56 PM

Tourney3p0: Are people actually impressed by iPhones anymore? I can see someone being happy they purchased a product that fits their needs, but the iPhone's days as a status symbol are long since over.


I think it's just part of the fun for some people these days.  I remember people lining up for tickets to the last or second-to-last Harry Potter movie at a theater in downtown Philly, despite there being no indication that tickets would be hard to come by for any of the dozen showings they had opening day.

That said, while I can see why someone would get some silly enjoyment out of camping out for a new phone, the idea of someone taking the time to pay a bunch of homeless people to camp out for him?  Christ, what an asshole.
 
2013-09-20 06:48:42 PM
"Some said they got paid; I didn't get mine," the homeless man said.
"If he is a scam artist, he should get what he deserves for it," he said of the businessman.


bumhurt.jpg
 
2013-09-20 07:55:25 PM

HeartBurnKid: Not only does the homeless guy hold your spot for you, but his stench and mental illness will scare off the people in front of you.  Win/win!


No, I think he'd just blend in with the hipsters like buffalo in a bison herd.
 
2013-09-20 08:52:23 PM

dualplains: HeartBurnKid: Not only does the homeless guy hold your spot for you, but his stench and mental illness will scare off the people in front of you.  Win/win!

No, I think he'd just blend in with the hipsters like buffalo in a bison herd.


Yeh, well ya can't wash yer 'ands in a buffalo.
 
2013-09-20 10:01:14 PM

Seat's Taken: I waited in line for 8 hours to get the new iPhone (turquoise) and it never occurred to me to hire a bum.


My wife wanted one to replace her 4s that is no longer working.  I waited for 8 minutes and that seemed like a long time to me.

//Except for the gold one it was easy to get an iphone today, despite the "scarcity" that was predicted.
 
2013-09-20 10:19:17 PM
IT'S JUST A F♥CKING MOBILE PHONE!
 
2013-09-20 10:37:09 PM
 
Skr
2013-09-20 11:25:00 PM
Saw a huge line today snaking through the inside of a mall for the Apple Store. Lots of security, both mall cops and real ones. I guess this new phone must be the reason for all the hullabaloo.

I guess I don't really understand the need to get things on release day. Especially when the 4S and 5 seem to be decent on their own. I suppose if their 'free upgrade' clause was running out soon that might justify it a wee bit.
 
2013-09-21 12:23:03 AM

Skr: I guess I don't really understand the need to get things on release day


Think about it like this, these people live their lives by their phone. Their social, work, and personal agenda are all based on and managed by the iPhone. If someone has a better or newer phone than them, they thusly can be inferred to have a better life. And when your life is literally on the line, what's wasting hours upon hours of time? To them, you'd be wasting your life to NOT wait in line, or at the very least not "living" to the full potential for the day or so it might take to get your new improved iLife.
 
2013-09-21 05:52:52 AM
Hiring bums is a great untapped resource for random mischief and for waiting in line.

Ive hired countless bums over the years.

1st time was Black Friday in Hawaii (shopping at Walmart there is a religion if you know the islands)

$10, two beers, and a lawnchair later I had the first spot in line at 6am when it had swollen to over 300 people.

Another time while waiting at the DMV, gave the number to the dude told him to come get me when it was called. $5 and I got to sit in my car getting high and watching my ipad instead of sitting in the limbo that is the DMV.

My favorite though, I was repaying some karmic debt to a specific type of "asshole." For $3 I bought a dog whistle, then for $10 I hired a bum to sit outside his house all night and blow it every few hours. Assholes dogs would go nuts each time barking and waking him up. I was duly impressed by this hobos work ethic (and commitment to his new job), I ended up giving him a twenty spot and he was so thankful he said he would leave a present for the guy. The next day asshole had a huge shiat right on the hood of his car. And not some nice suburban coddled poo, but unbridled hobo feces from a mix of cheap spicy gas station junk food and malt liquor.

Literally one of the best $20 bills I ever spent....

/Dude worked for me for the better part of a year sleeping in his doorstep, telling all of "assholes" neighbors he was his estranged brother (he was trying to reconnect with) that asshole had molested as a kid and was now forced to be homeless because of the trauma. This guy was dedicated to the bit. He would even go to the library in his "off time" (lol) and sign up asshole for the NAMBLA mailing letter and junk mail lists. He came back with 50 of those little cards from the library that you fill out for free magazine subscriptions (they charge you later if you dont cancel.)

//Bought dude a cellphone as I was winding down my antics. He would call 911 with this guys address for months, get ambulances, the fire department, pizzas, tacos, everything. He also came up with the idea of posing as him over the phone getting the electric company to put a lock on his account (due to identity theft) then a week later shutting off his account while keeping the pin lock on it.

/// NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE HOMELESS!
 
2013-09-21 05:54:45 AM
Haha I forgot but he put the turd under the windshield wiper. This was classic as it signaled to asshole that this shiat was specifically for him and not some random turd.
 
2013-09-21 09:43:12 AM

Mcaffolder: Hiring bums is a great untapped resource for random mischief and for waiting in line.

Ive hired countless bums over the years.

1st time was Black Friday in Hawaii (shopping at Walmart there is a religion if you know the islands)

$10, two beers, and a lawnchair later I had the first spot in line at 6am when it had swollen to over 300 people.

Another time while waiting at the DMV, gave the number to the dude told him to come get me when it was called. $5 and I got to sit in my car getting high and watching my ipad instead of sitting in the limbo that is the DMV.

My favorite though, I was repaying some karmic debt to a specific type of "asshole." For $3 I bought a dog whistle, then for $10 I hired a bum to sit outside his house all night and blow it every few hours. Assholes dogs would go nuts each time barking and waking him up. I was duly impressed by this hobos work ethic (and commitment to his new job), I ended up giving him a twenty spot and he was so thankful he said he would leave a present for the guy. The next day asshole had a huge shiat right on the hood of his car. And not some nice suburban coddled poo, but unbridled hobo feces from a mix of cheap spicy gas station junk food and malt liquor.

Literally one of the best $20 bills I ever spent....

/Dude worked for me for the better part of a year sleeping in his doorstep, telling all of "assholes" neighbors he was his estranged brother (he was trying to reconnect with) that asshole had molested as a kid and was now forced to be homeless because of the trauma. This guy was dedicated to the bit. He would even go to the library in his "off time" (lol) and sign up asshole for the NAMBLA mailing letter and junk mail lists. He came back with 50 of those little cards from the library that you fill out for free magazine subscriptions (they charge you later if you dont cancel.)

//Bought dude a cellphone as I was winding down my antics. He would call 911 with this guys address for months, get ambulances, the fir ...


Oh wow, I hope to never get on your bad side.  That is very thorough.
 
2013-09-21 10:45:15 AM
I don't see this happening for Droid phones.

/Anyone who can't wait a week or a month to get the new phone is a perpetual child.
 
2013-09-21 12:15:05 PM
I had to run into Verizon yesterday to get a replacement for my S3. I was looking at just buying a Moto X or Droid Maxx and selling the crappy refurb I was guaranteed to end up with. The salesman noticed that I couldn't have cared less about the iPhone and immediately became my best friend. He told me I was the first person in the store (lunchtime) that hadn't asked him about an iPhone. I can only imagine what the salesmen have to go through dealing with the average Joe and their brainwashed iRamblings.
 
2013-09-21 06:45:51 PM

Mcaffolder: Hiring bums is a great untapped resource for random mischief and for waiting in line.

Ive hired countless bums over the years.

1st time was Black Friday in Hawaii (shopping at Walmart there is a religion if you know the islands)

$10, two beers, and a lawnchair later I had the first spot in line at 6am when it had swollen to over 300 people.

Another time while waiting at the DMV, gave the number to the dude told him to come get me when it was called. $5 and I got to sit in my car getting high and watching my ipad instead of sitting in the limbo that is the DMV.

My favorite though, I was repaying some karmic debt to a specific type of "asshole." For $3 I bought a dog whistle, then for $10 I hired a bum to sit outside his house all night and blow it every few hours. Assholes dogs would go nuts each time barking and waking him up. I was duly impressed by this hobos work ethic (and commitment to his new job), I ended up giving him a twenty spot and he was so thankful he said he would leave a present for the guy. The next day asshole had a huge shiat right on the hood of his car. And not some nice suburban coddled poo, but unbridled hobo feces from a mix of cheap spicy gas station junk food and malt liquor.

Literally one of the best $20 bills I ever spent....

/Dude worked for me for the better part of a year sleeping in his doorstep, telling all of "assholes" neighbors he was his estranged brother (he was trying to reconnect with) that asshole had molested as a kid and was now forced to be homeless because of the trauma. This guy was dedicated to the bit. He would even go to the library in his "off time" (lol) and sign up asshole for the NAMBLA mailing letter and junk mail lists. He came back with 50 of those little cards from the library that you fill out for free magazine subscriptions (they charge you later if you dont cancel.)

//Bought dude a cellphone as I was winding down my antics. He would call 911 with this guys address for months, get ambulances, the fir ...



Damn, dude. This guy end up killing himself? I can't imagine being harassed like that for a year and not going insane.
 
2013-09-22 03:33:35 AM

FedExPope: Damn, dude. This guy end up killing himself? I can't imagine being harassed like that for a year and not going insane.


Nope, but his wife divorced him, his job fired him, (I believe because of the NAMBLA stuff) and he moved off my island.
Which was good enough for me.

All in all I was very proud of myself. Asshole had been sexually harassing my European model gf at work (he was the boss.) He did this to all the girls. He would hire them from Europe, then harass them, and if they said anything fire them and ship them back because their visas were tied to their jobs. I knocked him out one time but this was much more satisfying.

In the end though KARMA is a biatch! Asshole was the guy that was hiring all the hot European tail on the island. In fact it was because of him that I even met my original Euro gf. I was young and in love so I decided to take him out as my personal project. Then a year later that girl broke my heart and married one of the richest and oldest guys on the island (greencard baby, along with a full ride.)  The person they got to replace asshole with was a woman who did the same thing, but with all guys. Maybe I should facebook him and apologize... then again

Sigh... although Pierre, Henry, and Francswa were all cool I would have rather had Jeannette, Maria, and Orianna...


/That's right I said my island....
 
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