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(Sporting News)   Danica Patrick agrees to co-host the American Country Awards. Producers hope she's not the last one to arrive   (sportingnews.com) divider line 43
    More: Spiffy, American Country Awards, Danica Patrick, Trace Adkins, producers, Miranda Lambert, John Mellencamp, Sprint Cup  
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728 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Sep 2013 at 4:45 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-20 04:43:25 PM
"Producers hope she's not the last one to arrive "

At least they didn't hire Sarah Lane from TWiT.tv. She's been making a HABIT of being late the past several weeks.
 
2013-09-20 04:50:11 PM
She'll probably hit the wall trying to walk on stage and head straight for the garage
 
2013-09-20 04:51:22 PM
See? It's funny because...

...well, shiat. It actually is funny.

/I love the girl, but she should have stayed in Nationwide for a couple more years or waited in IndyCar just a little longer
 
2013-09-20 04:59:36 PM
Candid photo is best photo.

dy.snimg.com

If that chubby good old boy can make it, so can I!
 
2013-09-20 05:02:49 PM
Won't this tarnish their holier than thou, God is on our side image? I mean didn't jeff foxworthy host one of these where he boasted how important faith and God is to country fans? And now a girl who promotes vanity and lust is hosting it? wow, someone explain
 
2013-09-20 05:06:14 PM

xkillyourfacex: Won't this tarnish their holier than thou, God is on our side image? I mean didn't jeff foxworthy host one of these where he boasted how important faith and God is to country fans? And now a girl who promotes vanity and lust is hosting it? wow, someone explain


That should get some bites.
 
2013-09-20 05:08:36 PM
I'll make sure she comes on time.
 
2013-09-20 05:10:35 PM
I work for a company that is know for sponsoring her. I have met her at our holiday party. 3 things

A) she's teeny tiny
2) she's warmer 1:1 than on stage
Last) would hit it like the wall at Daytona
 
2013-09-20 05:11:47 PM
I'd give her a few laps.
 
2013-09-20 05:13:53 PM

offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.


Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF
 
2013-09-20 05:25:12 PM

cygnusx13: I work for a company that is know for sponsoring her. I have met her at our holiday party. 3 things

A) she's teeny tiny
2) she's warmer 1:1 than on stage
Last) would hit it like the wall at Daytona


Well yeah, she's a driver.

Not a  good driver, but a driver nonetheless.

Standing next to professional race drivers is a good way to feel tall.  My wife was shocked at COTA when she saw the F1 pilots.
 
2013-09-20 05:31:57 PM

Clutch2013: See? It's funny because...

...well, shiat. It actually is funny.

/I love the girl, but she should have stayed in Nationwide for a couple more years or waited in IndyCar just a little longer


She should go on her tippy toes and give France and Helton blowies to qualify for the Chase.
 
2013-09-20 05:45:47 PM

Kuroshin: Not a good driver, but a driver nonetheless.


Of course she's a good driver.  She's a very good driver.  She's not yet a great driver.
 
2013-09-20 05:48:37 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Clutch2013: See? It's funny because...

...well, shiat. It actually is funny.

/I love the girl, but she should have stayed in Nationwide for a couple more years or waited in IndyCar just a little longer

She should go on her tippy toes and give France and Helton blowies to qualify for the Chase.


After the last couple weeks, both Helton and France probably have permanent whiskey dick.

Brian, for sure.
 
2013-09-20 05:55:48 PM

vrax: Kuroshin: Not a good driver, but a driver nonetheless.

Of course she's a good driver.  She's a very good driver.  She's not yet a great driver.


I wouldn't go that far.  Definitely not in the "very good" range.  Well, relative to racers, I mean.  Compared to the average person behind the wheel?  Yeah, she's friggin' Andretti.  But among her peers?  Nuh-uh.
 
2013-09-20 06:04:50 PM

offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.


If we don't come together, she will come when I get back.
 
2013-09-20 06:15:46 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-20 06:34:00 PM
She's going to end up a professional celebrity, and sooner rather than later.

Nice work if you can get it.
 
2013-09-20 06:45:55 PM

Kuroshin: vrax: Kuroshin: Not a good driver, but a driver nonetheless.

Of course she's a good driver.  She's a very good driver.  She's not yet a great driver.

I wouldn't go that far.  Definitely not in the "very good" range.  Well, relative to racers, I mean.  Compared to the average person behind the wheel?  Yeah, she's friggin' Andretti.  But among her peers?  Nuh-uh.


She could have won Indy and Daytona and people would still be saying that she can't drive.
 
2013-09-20 06:49:30 PM

chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF


Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

www.atakuj.com

nutzworld.com

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.
 
2013-09-20 07:28:52 PM
I am much more interested in whether Danica Collins comes.
 
2013-09-20 08:41:06 PM

vrax: Kuroshin: vrax: Kuroshin: Not a good driver, but a driver nonetheless.

Of course she's a good driver.  She's a very good driver.  She's not yet a great driver.

I wouldn't go that far.  Definitely not in the "very good" range.  Well, relative to racers, I mean.  Compared to the average person behind the wheel?  Yeah, she's friggin' Andretti.  But among her peers?  Nuh-uh.

She could have won Indy and Daytona and people would still be saying that she can't drive.


She's not in danger of winnning anything. She's no better than a competent mid-packer, and probably not that good. I would like to have seen her stay in Nationwide and learn to win.
 
2013-09-20 08:41:12 PM

Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.


Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)
 
2013-09-20 08:45:05 PM

Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)


Dickbags who accuse others of being white knights are farking retards. I have no illusions that she'd want to sleep with me- I'm simply making a point.

/you're a typical basement dwelling twat waffle
 
2013-09-20 08:50:43 PM

Kuroshin: cygnusx13: I work for a company that is know for sponsoring her. I have met her at our holiday party. 3 things

A) she's teeny tiny
2) she's warmer 1:1 than on stage
Last) would hit it like the wall at Daytona

Well yeah, she's a driver.

Not a  good driver, but a driver nonetheless.

Standing next to professional race drivers is a good way to feel tall.  My wife was shocked at COTA when she saw the F1 pilots.


I think motorcycle racers might be even smaller. At 6'0", Simoncelli was considered freakishly tall. Granted, he's now -6'0", but he's no longer in MotoGP.
 
2013-09-20 08:51:52 PM

MFAWG: vrax: Kuroshin: vrax: Kuroshin: Not a good driver, but a driver nonetheless.

Of course she's a good driver.  She's a very good driver.  She's not yet a great driver.

I wouldn't go that far.  Definitely not in the "very good" range.  Well, relative to racers, I mean.  Compared to the average person behind the wheel?  Yeah, she's friggin' Andretti.  But among her peers?  Nuh-uh.

She could have won Indy and Daytona and people would still be saying that she can't drive.

She's not in danger of winnning anything. She's no better than a competent mid-packer, and probably not that good. I would like to have seen her stay in Nationwide and learn to win.


Well, fortunately she's in NASCAR now, so driving really isn't required.

/pokes NASCAR
 
2013-09-20 09:05:57 PM
She sucks in sprint car, yeah I said it and nobody can deny it. Would I want to fold her ankles behind her ears and fark her, hell yes. She's nothing more than NASCAR's excuse to bring more women to watch on Sunday. How many top 5's has she achieved on a track that wasn't a restrictor plate race????
 
2013-09-20 09:15:34 PM

Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)


Chicks can be hot and have small boobies.

You sound gay.
 
2013-09-20 09:50:18 PM

Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.


All that airbrushing and they couldn't fix up that terrible tramp stamp?
 
2013-09-20 09:57:30 PM

vrax: Of course she's a good driver. She's a very good driver. She's not yet a great driver.


29 drivers started 27 races this season.  She placed 26th of 29.  She is the crap of the cream.  The worst of the best.
 
2013-09-20 10:06:18 PM

mjbok: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

All that airbrushing and they couldn't fix up that terrible tramp stamp?


Interestingly enough, she's enhanced it by adding wings to it. It used to JUST be a flag.

/big tits, small tits, who cares
//she could wrap those thighs around my face any day
 
2013-09-20 10:45:02 PM

Your Average Witty Fark User: Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)

Dickbags who accuse others of being white knights are farking retards. I have no illusions that she'd want to sleep with me- I'm simply making a point.

/you're a typical basement dwelling twat waffle


Your enormous penis clearly brings as much pleasure to American women as it brings shame and envy to us Japanese men.
 
2013-09-20 10:59:08 PM

Smackledorfer: Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)

Chicks can be hot and have small boobies.

You sound gay.


Later, you'll grasp the irony of "outing" me as a gay because I find ladies with tiny boobies unappealing.
You don't strike me as someone who is particularly smart, so it may be MUCH later, but time heals all wounds and most stupid, so perhaps you'll eventually determine that gay men wouldn't be attracted to ANY size boobs-large or small. In fact, if guys were into other guys, they'd probably prefer small-to-non boobs, given the choice. Or better, you'll just pee in your pants and scream "Titanic" when your own homophobia is questioned.
Either way, try to remember its OK that you are completely terrified of gays, and that I will never read anything you type on the internet again. At the end of the day, not one is going to take you seriously anyways.
 
2013-09-21 12:20:04 AM

Funbags: Smackledorfer: Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)

Chicks can be hot and have small boobies.

You sound gay.

Later, you'll grasp the irony of "outing" me as a gay because I find ladies with tiny boobies unappealing.
You don't strike me as someone who is particularly smart, so it may be MUCH later, but time heals all wounds and most stupid, so perhaps you'll eventually determine that gay men wouldn't be attracted to ANY size boobs-large or small. In fact, if guys were into other guys, they'd probably prefer small-to-non boobs, given the choice. Or better, you'll just pee in your pants and scream "Titanic" when your own homophobia is questioned.
Either way, try to remember its OK that you are completely terrified of gays, and that I will never read anything you type on the internet again. At the end of the day, not one is going to take you seriously anyways.


Lol
 
2013-09-21 12:54:55 AM

Funbags: Smackledorfer: Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)

Chicks can be hot and have small boobies.

You sound gay.

Later, you'll grasp the irony of "outing" me as a gay because I find ladies with tiny boobies unappealing.
You don't strike me as someone who is particularly smart, so it may be MUCH later, but time heals all wounds and most stupid, so perhaps you'll eventually determine that gay men wouldn't be attracted to ANY size boobs-large or small. In fact, if guys were into other guys, they'd probably prefer small-to-non boobs, given the choice. Or better, you'll just pee in your pants and scream "Titanic" when your own homophobia is questioned.
Either way, try to remember its OK that you are completely terrified of gays, and that I will never read anything you type on the internet again. At the end of the day, not one is going to take you seriously anyways.


Gay guys love boobs. Everybody loves boobs.

/They are, however, terrified of vaginas.
 
2013-09-21 12:54:59 AM
But how does one crash an awards show, exactly?
 
2013-09-21 04:00:52 AM
If any of you could come up with the money it's highly likely you'd be able to drive in nascar or any other racing series. Regardless of how well she drives she brings in money. So she'll be allowed to keep turning the wheel and mashing pedals until the money dries up.
 
2013-09-21 10:53:09 AM

Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.


14 year old boys have tramp stamps?

/I don't really want to know.

// I'd disappoint her given the chance.
 
2013-09-21 11:10:46 AM
Pretty sure Miley has the pole position.
 
2013-09-21 02:44:11 PM

NBSV: If any of you could come up with the money it's highly likely you'd be able to drive in nascar or any other racing series. Regardless of how well she drives she brings in money. So she'll be allowed to keep turning the wheel and mashing pedals until the money dries up.


I doubt very much that there is no individual difference in skills involved at that level of driving.
 
2013-09-21 02:49:11 PM

Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: Funbags: Your Average Witty Fark User: chitownmike: offacue: I'll make sure she comes on time.

Dude, she is built like a middle school boy. WTF

Oh that's right, I forgot, most 14 year old boys look like this:

[www.atakuj.com image 697x750]

[nutzworld.com image 428x343]

It's cool that you're gay, we don't mind. More Danica for us.

Wow, I wonder how many hours it took to 'shop those a's into a's?

/actually, I don't, just like to draw out the Knights of Danica
//I'm sure she'd totes blow you for defending the girth of her bosoms, since she wants to be taken srsly as a left-turner
///Anna Kournikova would probably lap her (if you know what I mean)

Dickbags who accuse others of being white knights are farking retards. I have no illusions that she'd want to sleep with me- I'm simply making a point.

/you're a typical basement dwelling twat waffle

Your enormous penis clearly brings as much pleasure to American women as it brings shame and envy to us Japanese men.


Who's talking about dick size? Not me. Inferiority complex much?
 
2013-09-21 04:32:40 PM
In a thread full of personal attacks...on a website that almost revels in it...I get dinged.

Okay.

So, with that in mind, let me revise my earlier statement:

If you use the word "totes" in any context other than to mock the word, your intelligence should rightfully be called into question.

/same goes for anyone who uses "cray", "H.A.M.", and anything else Kanye West has come up with
 
2013-09-21 05:56:40 PM

Clutch2013: In a thread full of personal attacks...on a website that almost revels in it...I get dinged.

Okay.

So, with that in mind, let me revise my earlier statement:

If you use the word "totes" in any context other than to mock the word, your intelligence should rightfully be called into question.

/same goes for anyone who uses "cray", "H.A.M.", and anything else Kanye West has come up with


Dmy
 
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