If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mirror.co.uk)   "Is it legal to marry your car?" among other gems, top off the most bizarre interview questions for visa applications   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 22
    More: Amusing, interview question, mobile apps, centre court  
•       •       •

2099 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2013 at 2:50 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



22 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-20 02:37:15 PM
What about marrying turtles? I've been told many times that America will allow me to marry my turtle
 
2013-09-20 02:53:34 PM
Hey, in the US, sure, why not, as long as the car doesn't say "no".
 
2013-09-20 02:57:22 PM

garandman1a: Hey, in the US, sure, why not, as long as the car doesn't say "no".


Although, in some states it's still illegal to stick it in the tailpipe, married or not.
 
2013-09-20 02:57:26 PM
Yes, because Obama
 
2013-09-20 02:57:58 PM
"Rambler?!  I hardly knew 'er!"
 
2013-09-20 02:58:24 PM
scottydoesntknow:
What about marrying turtles? I've been told many times that America will allow me to marry my turtle

In America, marry turtle is compulsory.  Raise rabbits is compulsory.  Recreational vehicle is compulsory, drive from state to state, no papers.
 
2013-09-20 03:00:54 PM
Wow.  Those credit card applications are getting tougher and tougher.
 
2013-09-20 03:05:41 PM
Not if it's your mother.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-20 03:07:15 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Wow.  Those credit card applications are getting tougher and tougher.


nice.
 
2013-09-20 03:08:33 PM
There should be a pre-emptive rejection for anyone asking stupid questions like that.
I'm sorry. Our quota of stupid, retarded citizens is well over the limit. Even for Texas.
You will not be allowed entry even as a guest worker.
Cite safety reasons.
 
2013-09-20 03:09:36 PM
I'm in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile...
 
2013-09-20 03:10:59 PM

scottydoesntknow: What about marrying turtles? I've been told many times that America will allow me to marry my turtle


And you know turtles go all the way down.
 
2013-09-20 03:13:48 PM
If it were a woman, I would TOTALLY marry my car.  Cute little Korean thing, could do worse.
 
2013-09-20 03:16:33 PM
A man at the altar beside
the one he is marrying - his ride.
The priest said "And now -
you've both said your vow,
It's come time to *beep* your bride."
 
2013-09-20 03:23:47 PM
Q: Do you frequently post on Fark.com?
A: "Yes"

us.123rf.com
 
2013-09-20 03:28:51 PM
Back in the 80's, I dated my car. It was hell. I was just out of college and hoping to show the world that I was grown up and ready for a committed relationship. She was an AMC Matador. The four door sedan version but still quite youthful. She was a former one owner, low mileage beauty with very well maintained accents, if you get my drift.

Trouble began immediately, she attracted all kinds of attention out on the street where I had to park her. I could not leave her for five minutes without looking out a windows and seeing a bunch of young guys checking her out. The worst were the guys who sat on her fender. In a fit of jealousy, I ran out of the apartment one night with a baseball bat. I threatened to smash the skull of anyone I caught sitting on my car. I finally ponied up an extra 50 bucks a month to get a garage. You'd think that would be the end of it. But it wasn't.

My co-workers were even worse. Whenever we would go to lunch, it was "Let's take Harry's car. It's the one with the ginormous back seat! All us guys and gals can ride in super extra comfort!" I watched them in the rear view mirror, fondling her rich leatherette touches and saying "I wish my car was as comfortable as this beauty." It killed me when one of my co-workers would move the A/C setting to "Desert Only". Hey pal, I wouldn't dream of putting such a move on your car.

My boss was the final straw. He was fascinated with my car. Always asking about performance, mileage, and how I treated her. One day, he remarked that maybe the car was too much for me. That it needed the steady hand of a 'real driver'. He offered me two thousand dollars 'to take her off my hands."

What has been going on behind my back? My mind reeled at the thought of the boss slipping down to the parking lot and cozying up to my car. Maybe he was promising her all the things I couldn't give her. White wall tires, Carnuba car waxes. That evening, I drove home in silence. When we got home, I had it out. I accused her of infidelity. I accused her of luring better financed men to her side. The next day, I took the bus to work and handed the title and keys over to the boss. He promised me that he would take car of her and give her only premium oil. I just waved my hand and told him she was his problem now.

I couldn't bear to see them together so I quit my job. I found work closer to home so I could walk to work. Occasionally, I'd hear a horn and turn my head, expecting to see her again. But it was never her - always some other car. Days turned in to weeks, weeks in to months. Months turned in to something scientists haven't named yet.

One night in a seedy bar, I chanced to meet a guy that I worked with at the other place. He told me that right after I left, the boss was driving to work and he lost control of his car and crashed in to a wall. The firemen say it was completely engulfed by the time the got there. The car, of course, was totaled. Gone.

This news floored me! I guess I should have warned the boss about the touchy brakes but he seemed to think that he was 'man enough'.  I went out the next day and bought a new Ford EXP. It was a rebound relationship and lasted only until the rust made closing the hatchback questionable. I believe it was six weeks.
 
2013-09-20 03:34:30 PM
Harry Freakstorm:

Bravo, good sir.
 
2013-09-20 03:47:47 PM
Ford Prefect?
 
2013-09-20 06:25:33 PM
snltranscripts.jt.org
 
2013-09-20 08:20:18 PM
Is it capable enough to give informed consent and enter acontract, has volition, and is not under coercion? I hope they will be very happy together as they certainly deserve each other.
 
2013-09-20 11:07:02 PM

No Such Agency: scottydoesntknow:
What about marrying turtles? I've been told many times that America will allow me to marry my turtle

In America, marry turtle is compulsory.  Raise rabbits is compulsory.  Recreational vehicle is compulsory, drive from state to state, no papers.


Is also include, Montana?
 
2013-09-21 04:21:06 AM
As an ordained SubGenius minister I can legally marry you to anyone or anything you like, for any amount of time you want (we specialize in short duration marriages with defined expiration dates).

Of course, it'll cost ya...
 
Displayed 22 of 22 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report