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(Onion AV Club)   The worst possible songs to have playing when you're having sex. Is there any better mood killer than Harry Chapin's Cat's in the Cradle or The Carpenters' Superstar?   (avclub.com) divider line 20
    More: Silly, Harry Chapin, Steve Albini, Cinemax, comedy album, Risky Business, no sex, Big Black  
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3014 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Sep 2013 at 9:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-20 08:29:16 AM  
5 votes:
"Brick" by Ben Folds Five
2013-09-20 08:28:51 AM  
3 votes:
The Christmas Shoes
2013-09-20 10:01:02 AM  
2 votes:
Goodbye to you, my trusted friend.
We've known each other since we're nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills or trees.
Learned of love and ABC's,
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die,
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Pretty girls are everywhere.
When you see them I'll be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the hills that we climbed
were just seasons out of time.
2013-09-20 07:09:30 PM  
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com

Especially side 3.  Hey listen I love it.  But as far as sexy time music goes, not so much.
2013-09-20 03:31:03 PM  
1 votes:
It was the town that made America famous. 
The churches full and the kids all gone to hell. 
Six traffic lights and seven cops and all the streets kept clean. 
The supermarket and the drug store and the bars all doing well
2013-09-20 01:42:12 PM  
1 votes:
I won't shiver in the cold
I won't let the shadows take their toll
I won't cover my head in the dark
And I won't forget you when we part

Collapse the light into earth

I won't heal given time
I won't try to change your mind
I won't feel better in the cold light of day
But I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to stay

Collapse the light into earth
2013-09-20 11:30:16 AM  
1 votes:
i235.photobucket.com
We celebrate a day of peace,
a day of harmony,
a day of joy we all can share,
together joyously;

a day that takes us through the darkness,
a day that leads us into might,
a day that makes us want to celebrate,
the liiiiight...

a day that brings the promise
that one day we'll be free...
to live, to laugh,
to dream, to grow,
to trust, to love,
to be!
2013-09-20 11:21:38 AM  
1 votes:
I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Mm, yeah
But I had to kill her
I had to put her six feet under
And I can still hear her complain
2013-09-20 11:03:40 AM  
1 votes:
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
2013-09-20 10:17:35 AM  
1 votes:
Doctor Demento's Funny Twenty-Five, any year during the 80s and 90s.

I dare you to find an appropriate song for lovemaking.
2013-09-20 10:00:03 AM  
1 votes:
Fat Bottomed Girls
2013-09-20 09:11:23 AM  
1 votes:
All of a sudden I began to change
I was on the dance floor acting strange
Flapping my arms I began to cluck
Look at me..
I'm the disco duck
2013-09-20 08:43:46 AM  
1 votes:
Phantom 309

Teddy bear

Too drunk to fark.
2013-09-20 08:38:39 AM  
1 votes:
One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of Honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could
2013-09-20 08:37:49 AM  
1 votes:
I was on the outskirts of a little southern town
Trying to reach my destination before the sun went down
The old CB was blarin' away on Channel 1-9
When there came a little boy's voice on the radio line
And he said breaker 1-9 is anyone there
Come on back truckers and talk to Teddy Bear
I keyed the mike and I said you got it Teddy Bear
And the little boy's voice came back on the air
Appreciate the breaker who we got on that end
I told him my handle and then he began
Though I'm not supposed to bother you fellows out there
Mom says you're busy and for me to stay off the air
But you see I get lonely and it helps to talk
Cause that's about all I can do I'm crippled and I can't walk
I came back and told him to fire up that mike
And I'd talk to him as long as he'd liked
This was my dad's radio the little boy said
But I guess it's mine and mom's now cause my daddy's dead
2013-09-20 08:33:58 AM  
1 votes:
My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes, I think you've seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-09-20 08:30:52 AM  
1 votes:
Mama tries hard to pretend
Things will get better again
Somehow she's keeping it all inside her

But finally the tears fill our eyes
And I know that somewhere tonight
She knows how much we really miss her

Shannon is gone I hope she's drifting out to sea
She always loved to swim away
Maybe she'll find an island with a shady tree
Just like the one in our backyard
2013-09-20 08:30:35 AM  
1 votes:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please
It's Christmas eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful, if mama meets Jesus tonight
2013-09-20 08:28:36 AM  
1 votes:
You've painted up your lips
And rolled and curled your tinted hair
Ruby are you contemplating
Going out somewhere
The shadow on the wall
Tells me the sun is going down
Oh Ruby
Don't take your love to town
2013-09-20 08:18:27 AM  
1 votes:
They might have split up or they might have capsized;
they may have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
of the wives and the sons and the daughters.
 
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